lacking fairness

A Very Powerful Grandma

Batjokes Handling Alfred's Time off Headcanons

- Bruce and the kids can’t cook to save themselves from starvation; at some point, after days of Alfred’s absence and takeaway, they’ll even eat Dick’s infamously teeth-rotting pancakes if it means putting something handmade in their stomachs.

- J. finds all of this hilarious, of course, but he offers to make food for them; mind you, it’s not French cuisine but he can do mean toasties and pasta.

- The deal though, is that everyone else has to do the washing up.

- Once Bruce almost flooded Alfred’s precious kitchen so, he was exonerated from the task.

- The kids set up some weird and mildly violent competitive game involving squirt guns filled with dish soap (the idea was Tim’s)

- Jason is disgustingly competitive and not above maiming if it means winning (he’s known for squirting soap in his brothers’ eyes)

- Dick and Damian are the Terrible Duo

- They even set up teams and hung up a score board behind the fridge, well hidden from Alfred’s disapproving gaze.

- The system with which they assign points is not exactly clear and they take every chance to cheat as if there is no tomorrow (Bruce is appalled by their lack of fair play, while J. is not-so-secretly proud)

- Deep under Bruce is pretty happy, though - not only this is a good bonding exercise that makes them have fun and train some of their reflexes at the same time, but it’s also a small accepting step towards J.

- They lost count of the times someone got seriously injured after slipping on the suds covering the floor.

- At the end of each game, J. ends up making hot chocolate (or smoothies, it depends on the season) for everyone.

- Everytime Alfred comes back from his holidays, the kitchen is spotless but he knows his scoundrels well and always goes to check on the score board hidden behind the fridge.

- Because he’s an evil man, he changes the scores and grins at the idea of the boys screaming murder at each other.

- They’re a big happy family.

anonymous asked:

FLUFF. I NEED TEETH ROTTING FLUFFINESS.

“Y/n! I thought you wouldn’t answer!” Lance gasped, grabbing at the sides of his laptop screen and bringing his face closer to it. He was over the moon that you had answered him!

“Hi Lance!” You grinned, grasping at a purple blanket off screen and placing it over your lap. You sat your daughter on it, and wrapped her in it lovingly. Your daughter tilted her head, staring at the screen in confusion. Why was her father inside that? It’s only right she’s confused, this is the first time her father has been across the country. Especially for such an important event to celebrate the anniversary of their return. Unfortunately, though, she and you had stayed behind due to taking care of the house and it’s bills.

Despite your child being two years old, she hasn’t spoken like any of the other kids. She really only says things when she wants someone, or something. Though, the two of you didn’t mind at all. As long as your baby girl was safe and sound.

“How’s my baby Lucy?” Lance smiled with content. His eyes gazing happily and lovingly at the two people he loved most. Though, he was unfortunately 2,223 miles away from the two of you. But, he believed being here would be a great trip, here being Washington D.C. of course!

“Amazing.” Lucy said, lacking a fair amount of enthusiasm that caused the two of you to burst out laughing. And of course, these burst of laughter caused more faces to appear on your screen.

“Is that Lucy!?” You heard Keith shout.

“Lucy! It’s your uncle Shiro!” I assume you know who said this.

“Hi!” You and Lucy said together, watching the faces appear hurriedly on the screen. Keith almost knocking his head into Lance’s just so he could get a peek at your daughter. It filled you with joy to know that you were all on Earth and safe. Though, as much as you all had aged. Mentally as well. It didn’t affect you. You felt young again now that you were home. Now that you had a family.

“Hunk and Pidge are in the arcade so they’re not here right now. But if you want to I can call them up?” Lance said, setting up his laptop on the coffee table to fit him and the other two hooligans into the screen. They were beyond excited to see Lucy, obviously. You nodded, wanting to show all of them something.

“Where’s Dominic?” Shiro asked, wondering where you and Lance’s son was.

“He’s having a sleepover at his friends house. He’s really loving 4th grade by the way!” You spoke fondly of your adopted alien son, just as you spoke fondly of everyone you knew. Lucy still stared in confusion at the screen, still wondering how they got in there. Weren’t they in D.C.?

A sound of a door opening and closing caught your attention and made you smile. And in came Hunk, his hair shaved at the sides. Pidge sitting on the floor diagonal from the laptop, her long hair pulled into a ponytail.

“Lucy!” Hunk and Pidge shouted, grinning at the child who was still quite confused.

“Alright, now that everyone is here…I’d like to show you something! Lucy, show them.” Lucy was confused again, lifting up a small drawing she made that day of all of them. She held it up with her chubby hands, and thus a wave of aw’s and wow’s erupted from the group of 5. Shiro almost began to cry and didn’t move from his spot on the couch. Though the others launched toward the screen to get a closer look. They were still rambunctious!

“That’s not it hun! Go ahead, show them..” you encouraged, fixing her position on your lap and looking down at her. Her face was red due to her shy personality, she mumbled something, but no one could hear.

“Everyone! Shut it! My daughter speaks of prophecy!” Lance shouted dramatically, arms stretched out wide to silence them with…flair.

“Do I have to do this? Can’t I just have a drumstick?” Now, that’s not what you expected. You expected her to introduce herself, and then say all their names like you’d taught her. This is probably the first time she’s said such a long sentence, and it shocked you so much you kind of just ignored it and went on with your conversation.

“Oh?” You and Lance said at the same time, shocked but amused greatly. Perhaps you should get her a drumstick! By the time you had gotten one and came back, the others were gone, and according to Lance they decided they’d get some food and hang out in the arcade.

“So, anything else new?” Lance asked, shutting the door behind the others as they shouted goodbyes. You nodded, placing Lucy in her playroom while bringing the laptop into the kitchen with you.

“Yeah…there’s something~” you teased, continuing to take out some ingredients to make meatballs.

“If it’s the meatballs, then how dare you. You know those are my favorite you can’t just…make them when I’m right here.”

“Nope! That’s not it.” You grinned, becoming quite nervous. You held up a finger to indicate you’d be back in a second. When you did come back, Lance was looking curiously at the package in your hands.

“Well, I got it yesterday. And ordered it a few days ago. And, since we haven’t been able to talk until today, it’s the perfect time to show you.”

“Oh, is it for me?” He asked.

“Well, if you like it then I guess it could be for you. It’s for all of us really.”

“Oh, ok! Show me!”

You nodded, sliding a small knife through the taped top of the box and opening it slowly. You stared down at what was inside and smiled with content.

“Here we go! Got any names?” You asked, holding up an article of baby clothing. Lance’s mouth dropped open wide and he almost dropped the laptop, he scrambled across the couch and grabbed his phone and immediately dialed the others.

“Hey guys! I’m a dad!” You heard muffled speaking and laughing on the other end.

“No…I meant…oh wow I hate you guys. I meant that I’m having a baby!” He placed the phone on speaker and soon hung up in anger at Keith’s response. Though, you grinned nonetheless and laughed as well.

[Bonus:]

“Oh so you’re pregnant? Lance I don’t think that’s how it works.”

anonymous asked:

It's a annoying cause Liam's my 2nd fave and I don't want to shit on him or anything but MOST of the things he's said about Niall was when he was asked, and I know he genuinely means what he says but take away the stuff he said in interviews and you'll see it's about as much as Niall has done to support him, again not hating on Liam at all and I know he genuinely means what he says about Niall but it's just interesting to see you know?

no i get what you mean, and yeah, you are right. anytime hes “supported” niall, its been bc he was asked specifically about one other other boys, not on his own accord. which niall HAS done on his own accord. more than once. 

and like i said, none of the other boys have barely mentioned liam, let alone congratulated him for std (since they are SO butthurt about that specifically) so why arent they holding them to the same standard as they are niall? why is THAT okay, but bc niall didnt send him a “congrats” tweet, merely retweeted his std tweet (more than the others did), thats NOT ENOUGH?? 

i just do not get it at all. 

[Drawing of a stick-figure guy talking to a stick-figure girl. Above them are the words, “POTS Problem #40: Apathy!” The guy looks up at the words with a smile and says, “Wow! This is your 40th POTS Problem comic! That’s so cool!” The girl, staring blankly up at the words, replies, “Huh. Yeah, I guess it is.”]

Look, I’m not saying it’s a good thing, but emotions just take a lot of energy…

anonymous asked:

What is your least favorite placement?

in my chart? my pisces mars
everything i love and want slips away from me because i can’t assert myself, especially on top of my libra moon.

being an aqua sun (9th) with libra moon (5th) i basically dream my life away, i’m impractical and lazy, completely lack ambition. i’m laissez faire about everything. while everyone is getting rich i am waisting my life away living inside a utopia in my head. im pretentious af and blind to my own dependency on others. once i realize i’ve been pretending my whole life i will realize that i’m actually poor, in poverty, and pathetic.

anonymous asked:

Hi there! For the last prompt thing, how about Loggerhead - Uncommon aggression for Fenris/Hawke?

loggerhead: uncommon aggression

He’s usually the angry one – the spitting insults are his, where she’ll respond with clever-tongued quips, laughter in her voice, and she’ll grin through her ire with ease where he’ll wear his fury plain on his face. It’s part of his freedom, Fenris thinks – a small thing that he’s claimed for himself, after years spent like a ghost, not even allowed to feel the injustice of his situation. And he’s reclaimed it without shame – the anger is good, feels good. He feels.

But Hawke – Hawke doesn’t resort to anger easily. She’s not like her brother, always looking for a fight. Or – she is, but not that kind of fight, the kind brought about by righteous fury, or a deep-seated sense of injustice. And even bare-knuckled brawls she’ll greet with a smile and a whoop, but in all their years Fenris has rarely seen her truly angry.

The sight is…something to behold.

“Mind repeating that?” Hawke asks, hands resting on her hips, the gesture emphasising her rather impressive, pregnant belly.

The former Inquisitor – and what looks to be most of the recently disbanded Inquisition’s inner circle – watches the movement with expressions of varying degrees of surprise. But then, their arrival had prompted much of the same reactions – they hadn’t exactly been invited to the Exalted Council, Fenris muses, although to be fair, a lack of invitation has never stopped Hawke from cheerfully inviting herself. And she had, along with her extended family, meaning Fenris and the belly, and he suspects the latter of having some hand in the extremely short leash she’s got on her temper these days.

Of course, it doesn’t exactly help that their arrival is also met with despairingly bad news.

“The world’s going to shit,” Varric says, letting loose a sigh that sounds about as old as he looks. “Again.”

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Halloween Haberdashery

(For @pardonmeow as a belated birthday gift and thanks for all you to do improve my haphazard writing. Thank you so much and Happy Birthday!) 


 The more Marinette looked Chat over, pencil scratch-scratch-scratching on the notepad in front of her, the more she bemoaned Tikki’s abyssal lack of imagination.

It wasn’t fair, she mentally whined, that Ladybug’s costume was essentially polka dotted shrink wrap that belonged in an 80’s music video more than it belonged on her. She made it work, granted, but the more time she spent studying the details of Chat Noir’s suit, the more she wished Tikki had his kwami’s sense of style. She didn’t even have antenna or wings while his suit was ornamented with ears, a tail, and more detailing than she noticed during their fleeting encounters. Now, finally able to focus on Chat Noir instead of whatever absurd looking akuma they were fighting, Marinette had the time to take in the details of his costume…and time to realize just how poorly the “Cat Noir” knockoff costumes were.

“Don’t go into the spaceship, don’t go into the spaceship,” Chat Noir whined, nibbling on handfuls of popcorn stretched out on Marinette’s fainting couch as the cheap, schlocky horror movie played on her desktop monitor. “Marinette, why are they going onto the spaceship?!”

“Because the movie is called Sorority Sisters vs the Brainsucker in Outer Space?” Marinette snorted, sketching the details on his belt while he was almost childishly obsessed with the horror film. “The sisters of Alpha Omega Omicron can’t very well do battle with the horrible brain-sucker from the Secret Moon of Venus if they don’t get on the space ship first, now can they?”

But the horrible brain-sucker is hiding in Tiffany’s footlocker!” Chat whimpered, teeth nibbling the edge of the popcorn bowl. “How did the ship’s onboard maintenance robot miss that; HouseMomBot has thermal vision!”

“Maybe brainsuckers from Venus’ hidden moon have thermal camouflage,” Marinette said, biting her lip as she tried not to make it obvious that she was studying every inch of the wriggling boy’s costume. The more she studied it, the more she was sorely tempted to buy off the rack. The costume party was still two weeks away, and she could devote her free time to something other than meticulously copying her partner’s wardrobe with non-kwami created materials. But once Chloe bragged about arriving in ‘the finest Ladybug costume tailored to her exact measurements,’ Marinette knew she had to do one better. Her first instinct was to replicate her own costume, but she felt that would be tempting fate a little too much. Alya had slowed her crusade to uncover Ladybug’s identity, and she felt that showing up in Ladybug gear would provoke one too many questions from her overly-intrepid best-friend.

Besides, everyone was dressing as Ladybug; she couldn’t exactly call herself a fashionista if she just followed the crowd.

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Some people say that Killua wouldn’t be a Slytherin because that would be conforming to some stale archaic stereotype since all the Zoldycks would be in Slytherin too, but these people don’t realize that they’re actually stereotyping Slytherins by saying that and reinforcing the idea that all Slytherins are inherently bad and selfish and unemotional.

I don’t think Killua would be a Slytherin because he was an assassin or because of how he was raised or anything to do with his background. I think Killua would be a Slytherin simply because I think the house fits him best. Slytherins are cool and cunning and individualistic outside-the-box thinkers, resourceful players that lack a sense of fair play sometimes and they might use tricks/cheats to win in a fight, plus they don’t charge into battle without thinking of a quick strategy. 

Killua being a Slytherin wouldn’t mean he’s just exactly like the Zoldycks, not at all. Not all Slytherins are like each other after all and it’s time for these stereotypes to die tbh.

SLYTHERIN POTTERMORE ANALYSIS

Slytherin

Slytherin, per the quiz, gets a little bit shafted: they have the most answers that are terrible (not even people who are otherwise very, very Slytherin will give them), and they tend to be associated with very negative things. Even with the rehabilitation Pottermore’s Welcome Letter tries to give them, the fact remains that JKR is still not very fond of this House, and it shows in the quiz. Hufflepuff may have some singularly horrible answers (trolls, superstrength, draw lots, trumpet) - but it tends to make up for it with other, good answers on the same question (werewolves, talk to animals) or by not having a lot of weight in those

In fact, Slytherin relies most heavily of any of the Houses on its element to get new students. Slytherin is hugely associated with the element of water, and is the House where an affinity for the element - and only an affinity for that element - is most likely to Sort a person there. (Sea or luminous pool/merpeople/river goes a LONG way towards Slytherin, particularly with the weight on merpeople.) Water is a HUGE marker for Slytherin; I’ve even heard people say that the lantern-lit alley path feels more “watery” than the other options. (It certainly resembles the Slyth common room most, with the dark feel and the lanterns on the bedposts.) Water is also associated with mystery, another huge Slytherin trait: something that’s dark and mysterious appeals to them greatly, even if it seems dangerous. They’ll go for experiences that Ravenclaws are too afraid to touch.

The river in Pottermore represents unity, and Slytherin is a group-oriented House. Like Gryffindor, Slytherins are seeking individual greatness - but Slytherins look out for their own group and see themselves as much more unified than Ravenclaws or Gryffindors. (Remember, per the welcome letter, Slytherins are brothers; they’re focused on their own in-group, although that group tends to be much more cliqueish and exclusive than Hufflepuff’s group.) However, a Slytherin’s loyalty to the group only extends so far: they won’t cover for someone who’s overshadowing them academically, particularly when they know that’s been achieved through foul play. (This is actually the question that Slyths and Puffs tend to split on: a large percentage of Slytherins do believe that group loyalty extends to covering up academic dishonesty, but JKR disagrees, per the quiz.)

Slytherins are strongly, strongly associated with the Dark Arts in the Pottermore quiz, where no other House is: anything involving a hex or a jinx is a solely Slytherin trait, per Pottermore. (Actual Slytherins, again, tend not to agree.) Per JKR, Slytherins fear public humiliation more than anything: a loss of dignity is worse than death. (In actuality, Slytherins fear heights the most. A fear of falling from great heights seems apt in the sense that Slytherins want to be at the top and fear falling from greatness once it’s been attained, but most people aren’t actually looking at this question in a symbolic way anyway.)

Slytherins care more about their reputation in the here and now; it matters even more than their achievements. It’s better to be powerful in life than renowned in death, because you can reap the benefits while alive. They tend to have the most diverse problems: snakes are cold-blooded, so cold bothers them, but in a more general sense the worst thing that can happen to them is being ignored. After all, you can’t be great if no one is willing to pay attention to you! Boredom is also a large issue for them; they don’t get lost as easily in their heads as Ravenclaws do, and they’re only interested in learning for the sake of applied knowledge. If it’s not useful, Slytherins don’t want to know it.

Slytherins are more interventionist and more risk-oriented than Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws. They won’t fall back or be cautious: they want their wand out, ready to fight, and they’re not going to cede ground to anyone. On the other hand, they also consider Gryffindors to be needless risk-takers, perhaps a little too overt and blunt, and so they’re not going to go looking for trouble or charging directly into the fray. (Again, this is what they’re supposed to do; in practice, nobody picks the Slytherin option, which is pretty much a recurring theme of most of the Q5s.)

Slytherins are much more willing to take risks than Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws - but where Gryffindors take risks for the greater good, or to be heroes, Slytherins are much more likely to be doing it to benefit themselves. (For example, Slytherins are more likely to want superpowers that may have great downsides, to learn a method of travel that is subtle and quiet but has the greatest risk of a life-threatening accident, or to take a mysterious potion with effects that most people hate - but only if they believe that they can achieve great personal gain by doing so.) The creatures they prefer to study are associated with one of three things: water, Darkness, or cunning.

Slytherins are cunning and confrontational - and lack a sense of fair play. They’ll cheat in a fight if they can get away with it, but woe betide anyone stupid enough to get caught; they’ll threaten a Muggle if they think they can. (Again, this is the quiz. Is it a very fair representation of Slytherin House? That’s debatable - but this quiz doesn’t portray a very flattering picture of Slytherin at a lot of points.) Slytherins are the only House that doesn’t list trusted as their #1 value (in practice, it’s their #2, with praised as their #1.) However, the values that JKR associates them with are much more explicitly negative: per the quiz, an ideal Slytherin would desire to be feared or envied, qualities with the most outright negative connotations. (Envy, after all, is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, and fear is obviously negative.)

Despite being a group-oriented House, Slytherins are cerebral - they don’t care so much for people, particularly people they don’t know. They have no patience for incompetence in others. They enjoy elegance and refinement, along with mystery. Where Ravenclaws want to explore mysteries and shed light on them, Slytherins want to be the mystery: great and prominent, but distant from the masses. Darkness, the flip side of the coin, the dark side of the moon: all of these are very essentially Slytherin.

Slytherins also are the most focused on the past and tradition. They value old relics, particularly those of their most esteemed alumnus, Merlin. (Again, this is a bit unfair while people are taking the quiz: after all, they don’t know that Merlin was a Slytherin, and could simply be interested in Hogwarts history. However, Merlin does represent a link to the past and tradition, and Slytherin is about both of those things - but this means that Slytherin ends up with some disgruntled people who were just interested in history.) They would prefer to preserve old things rather than the new; they look to the past rather than to the future.

Again, this is Slytherin House per the Pottermore Sorting Hat quiz. Personally, I could do a writeup on what Slytherin should be about rather than what it is (and ways in which the quiz could’ve been improved), but Anon asked for the traits of the Houses according to the Pottermore Sorting Hat. Slytherin, unfortunately, tends to get the worst write-up, and tends to have the qualities that nobody at all picks. (With Ravenclaw, imitated is always #4/6 for traits, but about 20% of Hufflepuffs pick it - so somebody is picking it, but not Ravenclaws. With answers like feared or silly voice,nobody is picking those!)


Serpents, I got this from here if you are interested in reading it all. It is good.