label it yourself

Hey man I want you all to remember that if your romantic/sexual orientation(s) in the fictional world don’t line up with what you identify as in the real world, that’s totally okay. 

Take it from me. I identify as a lesbian on the ace spectrum, but I have a ton of fictional dudes I like to imagine myself dating and even having intimate times with. It’s all fiction. 

And with compulsory heterosexuality being a thing, I don’t blame anyone who claims to be only attracted to so and so genders (or none at all) but finds themselves attracted to fictional people of the “opposite” gender, whatever it may be. 

You are allowed to have fictional others who don’t align perfectly with the orientations you choose to label yourself with in the real world. It’s fiction, and it’s a safe place to let yourself feel those feelings and explore what it might be like in another life. Your fictitious romances do not invalidate the labels you choose to identify with in real life!

I love you a lot and I hope you are having fun with your self insert lives <3

anonymous asked:

Questiont aro anon here! First, thank you for answering my question! And well, I've been in a few relationships before and they all died down pretty quickly. I kind of realized that it was mainly because I couldn't respond to their romantic gestures and they took it as like I didn't care enough about the relationship? I mean, I did care. At least about them. But I always felt very weird about the relationship. Like I could go days without speaking to them and not feel any different. Idk man.

And looking back, I don’t know if I got into the relationship because I liked them or because I wanted attention or to feel normal because I saw everyone else getting into relationship. I just never got it, really. -Question Aro Anon  

Oh, I totally understand, questioning anon! Of course, I was glad to answer you!! 

First, remember that it is totally your choice to label yourself as aromantic or not. It’s all on your comfort level! Maybe you did get into them for that reason. I know I daydream about being in a relationship all the time. It’s comforting, in a way. But don’t pressure yourself to date anyone! It won’t end well that way. Others may be dating and you could have never dated a single person and that’s okay! So is not having your first kiss me @ myself tbh or any of these things. Maybe one day you’ll find someone you actually really want to date. Or maybe you won’t and you’ll end up labeling yourself as aro. As long as you’re comfortable, it’s fine!💛

I was initially going to add to that Ally post but I didn’t want it to be taken in a way that could derail.

Ally is also a code. For those of us who cannot come out safely to everyone. For those of us who have to choose who we come out to and spend a lot of time wondering if this will implode in our faces. Who want to be out and proud but have to bite our tongues.

I feel that tumblr is really good at implying which type of Ally they’re talking about when we say Allies are not part of the Queer umbrella. But sometimes it’s easy to forget.

If you’re not “out” for whatever reason it’s okay. If you feel like the only way you can be a part of the movement and the community is by labeling yourself an Ally it’s okay.

Your safety is important.

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3. The person you would never want to meet?

4. What is your favorite word?

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

8. What do you label yourself as?

9. Bright room or dark room?

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

13. Your worst enemy?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

16. The last song you listened to?

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

29. What is your favorite expletive?

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

34. What was your last dream about?

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

38. What is the color of your socks?

39. What type of music do you like?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

43. Do you have any scars?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

46. Are you reliable?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

48. Do you hold grudges?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

51. Are you a good liar?

52. How long could you go without talking?

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

56. What do you like on your toast?

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

58. What would be you dream car?

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

64. What do you think about babies?

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

Reblog if you ship Klance but you don’t label yourself as an anti

I mean no ill-will by this post. It was inspired by an ask I received.

Klance has received a bad name in the fandom because of it’s popularity within the anti-community.

I want to use this post as a way to alert the neutral people of the fandom that there are many people in this fandom who love Klance and don’t harass others.

So please if you ship Klance and you’re blog is a safe-space, please reblog this because we need for people to know that they don’t always need to live in fear when they come on Tumblr and also, we need people to know that Klance isn’t a bad ship. It’s the way people have used it that has tarnished its name.

Thank you.

tbh it makes me so sad how many girls dismiss their attraction to women

I’m not gonna label anyone’s sexuality for them but if you have crushes on girls then you’re probably not straight 

because believe it or not there are women who never experience any attraction to women 

it’s not some tiny little thing that everyone experiences

of course that’s not a bad thing, but no, not everyone is “a little bi” etc.

and we are all taught that relationships between women are inherently inferior to hetero relationships - it often takes years to realize that what you feel could be genuine attraction rather than just curiosity or admiration

whether or not you choose to acknowledge that in the label you choose for yourself or how you pursue relationships is up to you 

but if you consistently finding yourself having crushes on women or being attracted to women - even if you remain adamant that you love and prefer men - you may want to look into the possibility that you’re not straight

Grimoire Challenge - Week 1

05.02.17

Monday: Preparing your grimoire

  • Include your name and the date
  • Create a dedication to put into your grimoire. Dedicate it to whatever or whomever you praise.
  • Write it out and put it into your grimoire. Make sure to ask for protection as well.
  • Create a color magick chart. Correspond ink colors with your intention when writing in your grimoire.
  • Draw sigils that bring protection to your grimoire and wards off unwanted eyes. 
  • Chart out or make a timeline of your witchcraft so far, make it easy to expand and add onto. Include any events that helped shape your path.

Tuesday: Start of the year journal prompts

  • Define your path.
  • When did you begin your path?
  • How has it changed over time (more specifically how has it changed since last year?)
  • What makes witchcraft YOUR path?
  • What does being a witch mean to you?
  • What do you hope to achieve and and learn through witchcraft?
  • How has time affected your beliefs?
  • How did you come across witchcraft?
  • What made you want to practise witchcraft?
  • What do you hope to achieve by doing the 2017 grimoire challenge?
  • Is there anything you fear while following this path?
  • What type of entities do you believe in?
  • Who are your patron Gods and Goddesses, if any?
  • In what ways do you hope to grow?

Wednesday: Goal Setting

  • Set a goal you want to complete by the end of the month.
  • Set five goals you want to complete by the end of the year.
  • What are your witchcraft related life goals?

Thursday: Chosen tools of your craft

  • What is the one tool you use immensely in your craft that you could not practice without? Why? What are its correspondences, properties, uses?
  • List the main tools used in your practice.
  • Do you work with crystals? Bones? Herbs? How do you use them? Why do you use them? What kind or role do they play in your craft? 

Friday: Types of Witches

  • Are you a solitary practitioner or do you practice with a coven? Why do you choose the solitary path or vice versa?
  • Do you use a label?
  • If so, what kind of witch do you label yourself as?
  • If not, what are your reasons for not using a label?
  • Do you agree with the use of labels? Are they used too freely, with not enough thought put into them?
  • Is there a certain witchcraft path that you may not agree with? What is it that you do not agree with?
  • Do some research on it, gather enough knowledge for you to understand their practise. Once you gather enough of an understanding do an entry on it. Make sure to include your opinions before and after you did your research.

Saturday: Full Moon

  • There is a full moon on Saturday, February 11th.
  • Do you have anything planned for the full moon?
  • What is your favorite activity to do during the full moon?
  • Do you perform rituals? Cleanse crystals? Cast spells?
  • Do you have any full moon traditions?
  • Create a correspondence between full moon and the months. Does a certain month influence the moon’s magick?
  • Create a list of 2017′s full moons.

Sunday: February Magick Calendar

  • Draw out the February calendar in your grimoire. Include any important magickal dates such as the full moons, sabbats, retrogrades, eclipses, and any other important magickal workings. Use this to organize when you want to practice magick or meet with your coven.


If you post your progress make sure to use the tag  #moonlight grimoire challenge so I can reblog it here. Good Luck!

Moonlight Grimoire Challenge

to lgbtq+ indigenous youth:

just a reminder that you are under no obligation to label yourself according to the western-centric + white-centric labels of gender and sexuality.

lgbtq+ identities existed long before colonization touched our land. You do not have to exchange one type of conformity for another to fit in with other lgbtq+ folks.

If labels like nonbinary, genderfluid, etc feel good to you, go for it!

If two-spirit feels right, that’s awesome! If not, don’t sweat it.

If you have an identity specific to your indigenous heritage, you are under no obligation to translate your complex, nuanced identity into terms that non-natives understand.

You are under no explanation to explain your identity to non-natives.

(ok for non natives to reblog!)

To anyone who is questioning their romantic/sexual orientation and/or gender

Remember: Feelings first, labels later.

And if you decide to not label yourself or your label changes? That’s okay, too. Just keep feeling.

one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

[ IMAGE: a long, white image with “QUEER” faded in rainbow gradient in the background behind text written using various fonts in various sizes, colors and line-weight reading “sometimes identity is a journey. so far mine has gone something like this – queerascat.tumblr.com – HOLY SHIT, i’m BISEXU– wait, no, i’m PANSEXUAL! oh, but demisexuality? i’m DEMI-PANSEXUAL! but wait, what if i’m a LESBIAN??? no, WAIT! i’m NOT EVEN FEMALE!!! (no shit sherlock! plus you like who you like of any gender!) oh god, not even demi, TOTALLY ACE after all… shiiiiittt… panromantic ace! biromantic ace? PANro and BIro ACE! lolol wtf was i ever even thinking??? OF COURSE i’m a BI (sans ‘romantic’) & PAN (sans ‘romantic’) ACE. but grayro? quoiro? BI-PAN-GRAY-QUOIRO?? ugh, what the fuck ever. i’ll use whichever word(s) whenever it feels right to do so, but QUEER is the one word that has ALWAYS felt right. - Vesper 09/23/2016" ]

Dear girls (yes, all of you),

This is not strictly sapphic, but important nonetheless:

Regardless of the nuances of your identity as a girl/woman/woman aligned individual, there’s an enormous amount of pressure to love, have sex with, and be with men. That does not, of course, mean that this pressure manifests the same way for all girls. However, I think we can all agree that no girl is completely immune to these societal pressures.

You are under no obligation to be with men. You are under no obligation to date, have sex with, marry, kiss, commit to, or hold any kind of relationship with men you do not wish to have. You do not owe specific men this, and you do not owe this to men as a class, either. If you do these things, it should be because you want to, not because you “should”.

It doesn’t matter how many men you’ve been with in the past. It doesn’t matter if you’re attracted to men, even if you’re strongly attracted to them. It doesn’t matter if you want these things in theory. You are in charge of your relationships, and what you want out of them. Ideally, you should not pursue anything unless you are sure you want it, and it should be done at your own pace (and if your own pace is “never”, that’s fine too.)

To lesbians and gay women, only wanting relationships with other women/women aligned folk is great! You are not “close minded” for being disinterested in men. Even if at one point you thought you were attracted to men, there is no issue with leaving this in the past and embracing your identity. I wish you luck in you seeking out relationships with women (at your own pace).

To bi, pan, polysexual, and otherwise multi gender attracted women, you do not need to “prove” that you’re attracted to multiple genders with your dating history. If you’d rather avoid being with men right now (or ever) this is fine, even if you’re attracted to them. You have every right to focus on your relationships with women and/or non-binary people, or to avoid relationships in general if you so choose. Your sexuality should not be defined as “available to men” by anyone - you have autonomy! Even if you pursue men, your “availability” is determined by you rather than inherently implied by your sexuality.

To trans women, gatekeepers might say you’re not “real” unless you are exclusively interested in men and seek out relationships with them. This could not be more false! You are no less trans, and no less of a woman, than trans women who fit under the typical trans narrative. Like cis women, you should feel free to date someone of any gender you choose, or nobody at all if you’d prefer. No doctor should deny you the opportunity to medically transition because your sexuality falls outside what they consider “legitimate”.

To asexual women, despite societal pressure to find a man and be a “good girlfriend” to him by pleasing him sexually, there is nothing wrong with your lack of sexual attraction. Ace or not, no man (or person in general) should pressure you into sexual acts you’re uncomfortable with. There is also nothing wrong with seeking out romantic relationships without a sexual component. Communication is key, and if it’s what you desire, I hope you eventually find a relationship that suits your needs.

To aromantic women, I know it seems that all sorts of media pushes the idea that there is nothing more fulfilling than romantic love with a man. However, if romantic love isn’t your thing, you have every right to avoid it. And if you desire sex but not romance, then there is nothing wrong with seeking that out with partners you’ve communicated your desires to.

To straight women, you are not excluded from this message! You still deserve happiness and fulfillment in your relationships, and more importantly, you should not feel pressured to settle for the first half decent man that comes along. Your relationships with men should be done at your own pace. If this means you hit some milestones late, or never, then there’s nothing wrong with that. Just remember that not all girls are exclusively attracted to men like you are (and some aren’t attracted to men at all)! Respect their choices as well.

To questioning women, I hope you someday find a label that resonates with you, but don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t happen right away (or ever). The process of questioning should be done at your own pace. Don’t feel like you have to rush to figure out a label, or force yourself to do anything you’re uncomfortable with just to speed along the process of finding yourself. Maybe you’re attracted to men. Maybe you aren’t. Maybe you’ll never be completely sure. You’re valid nonetheless.

To women who fit under more than one of these labels, or another label altogether, there’s nothing wrong with your identity being more complicated than some are used to. Like everyone else, you should be allowed to pursue relationships at your own pace, with whoever you feel comfortable with - and if that includes men, I hope this is because you want to and not because of outside pressure!

Take care of yourself, ladies!

  • me: i have diagnosed myself with several mental illnesses in the past, every single one i've researched for about a year before being diagnosed with the same exact mental illnesses i thought i had. i did extensive research before labeling myself with these illnesses, and even then i never stopped looking into them to double-check that i'm still experiencing the symptoms. self-diagnosing greatly helped me as it gave me a support system and a group of people i was able to relate to and talk to about my feelings. it helped me realize i wasn't alone and it really helped me cope with my problems until i was able to get professional help.
  • Neurotypicals: umm sweaty i think you just have a good 'ol case of psych student syndrome :) you really shouldn't just label yourself with these very Real and Bad problems just because you heard about it once uwu self-diagnosing is Evil it stole my wife and burned down my house you shouldn't do it Ever it'll only hurt you uwuwuwuwu