During WWII, L Ron Hubbard once led a 68 hour battle against two Japanese submarines which he claimed “definitely sunk, beyond doubt”. An analysis later concluded that there were never any submarines in the area. source
Everyone returns to Hogwarts after the war, but nothing is quite the same. Harry’s groupies are creepier than ever, Ron and Hermione are snogging all over the place, and the once-proud Draco is shuffling around like a kicked puppy. But that’s okay: Harry’s got a plan.
Spiders, rats, wrongly-boiled Veritaserum, a couple of dangerous bets and drunk parties – all with all, it was bound to be a hectic eight year at Hogwarts for the golden trio. Trying to ignore the ex-Death Eater Draco Malfoy, however, turned out to be more difficult than ever before. Especially when he seemed to be as obsessed with Harry as Harry was with him. DRARRY. SLASH. Rating may go up in future chapters.
Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome.
Harry returns to Hogwarts for his “8th year” in order to pass his N.E.W.T.s and make it into the Auror program. One of his classes is Muggle Studies and the new teacher has a brilliant idea to help them appreciate certain forms of Muggle entertainment.
Draco should have taken his NEWTs over the summer with Pansy and Greg. Repeating 7th year with Potter fresh off his saved-the-world tour struck Malfoy as the height of stupidity more than once. McGonagall’s diabolical plan only made things worse. Or did it?
Draco is pining after Harry, but is so sure that his feelings aren’t reciprocated that he wastes a golden opportunity. Pansy comes to the rescue and takes matters into her own hands to ensure a happy ending.
It’s a age-old story. You fancy a boy and you think he fancies you. Sure there are problems – attacks on former Death Eaters, crazed tabloid journalists and your girlfriend – but you have a cunning plan. Now if he’d only explain the L. Ron Hubbard-like references …
From the prompt: “What if one day everyone was brewing Amortentia and Harry walks in. Of course, he doesn’t know what they’re brewing, so the first thing he says is ‘Why does the room smell like it’s drenched in Malfoy’s cologne’ and then everyone, including Draco, just looks at him.
Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy.
Harry has no idea why Hermione decided that an inter-house Games Night would be a good idea, but he’s here now, and he intends to beat Malfoy, no matter what game he chooses. But, who would have thought muggle games could be full of so much… tension?
Dear Diary by AWickedMemory (ReadyPlayerZero) Words:20427
After the war, Harry picks up a journal to write in… and it writes back. Luckily, it’s not a Horcrux on the other end this time.
On returning to Hogwarts for their Eighth Year, Headmistress McGonagall decided to room Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter together. She may have hoped for a leading example of house unity; the other students fully expected insults and fights. But nothing happened.
That was, until Harry sleepwalked into Draco’s bed.
It’s a jinx that renders the victim mute, unless he/she serves the purpose of the jinx and kisses the person that they desire. It’s just Harry’s luck that he’s in love with Draco. HPDM, oneshot, eighth year.
The room of requirement’s gone mad — at least, that’s what Harry thinks. There’s no way that Draco Malfoy ‘requires’ him, of all people, but why does it keep dragging Harry there like he’s some kind of furniture, every time Malfoy enters it? Throw in Pansy the pervert and a clipboard-wielding Hermione, and things can only go from bad to worse. And that’s not even mentioning the pirates …
“Raëlism (also known as Raëlianism or the Raëlian movement) is a UFO religion that was founded in 1974 by Claude Vorilhon (b. 1946), now known as Raël. The Raëlian Movement teaches that life on Earth was scientifically created by a species of extraterrestrials, which they call the Elohim. Members of this species appeared human when having personal contacts with the descendants of the humans that they made. They purposefully misinformed early humanity that they were angels, cherubim, or gods. Raëlians believe that messengers, or prophets, of the Elohim include Buddha, Jesus, and others who informed humans of each era. The founder of Raëlism, members claim, received the final message of the Elohim and that its purpose is to inform the world about Elohim and that if humans become aware and peaceful enough, they wish to be welcomed by them.”
The Nuwaubian Nation
“The Nuwaubian Nation or Nuwaubian movement was a religious organization founded and led by Dwight York. York began founding Black Muslim groups in New York in 1967. He changed his teachings and the names of his groups many times, incorporating concepts from Judaism, Christianity, and many esoteric beliefs.In the late 1980s, he abandoned the Muslim theology of his movement in favor of Kemetism and UFO religion. In 1991 he took his community to settle in upstate New York; then they moved near the county seat of Eatonton, Georgia, in Putnam County. His followers built an ancient Egypt-themed compound called Tama-Re and changed their name to the “United Nuwaubian Nation of Moors.””
The Universe People
Universe People or Cosmic People of Light Powers (Czech: Vesmírní lidé sil světla) is a Czech and Slovak UFO religion founded in the 1990s and centered on Ivo A. Benda. Their belief system is based upon the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations communicating with Benda and other contactees since October 1997 telepathically and later even by direct personal contact. They are considered to be the most distinctive UFO religion in the Czech Republic.“
“Scientology is a body of religious beliefs and practices created in 1954 by American author L. Ron Hubbard (1911–86). Hubbard initially developed a program of ideas called Dianetics, which was distributed through the Dianetics Foundation. The foundation soon entered bankruptcy and Hubbard lost the rights to his seminal publication Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health in 1952. He then recharacterized the subject as a religion and renamed it Scientology, retaining the terminology, doctrines, the E-meter, and the practice of auditing. Within a year, he regained the rights to Dianetics and retained both subjects under the umbrella of the Church of Scientology.
In the OT levels, Hubbard explains how to reverse the effects of past-life trauma patterns that supposedly extend millions of years into the past. Among these advanced teachings is the story of Xenu (sometimes Xemu), introduced as the tyrant ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy”. According to this story, 75 million years ago Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and detonated hydrogen bombs in the volcanoes. The thetans then clustered together, stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to do this today.
Heaven’s Gate was an American UFO religious millenarian group based in San Diego, California, founded in the early 1970s and led by Marshall Applewhite (1931–1997) and Bonnie Nettles (1927–1985). On March 26, 1997, police discovered the bodies of 39 members of the group who had committed mass suicide in order to reach what they believed was an extraterrestrial spacecraft following Comet Hale–Bopp.
Heaven’s Gate members believed the planet Earth was about to be “recycled” (wiped clean, renewed, refurbished, and rejuvenated), and the only chance to survive was to leave it immediately. While the group was against suicide, they defined “suicide” in their own context to mean “to turn against the Next Level when it is being offered” and believed their “human” bodies were only vessels meant to help them on their journey. In conversation, when referring to a person or a person’s body, they routinely used the word “vehicle””
Church of the SubGenius
“The Church of the SubGenius is a parody religion that satirizes better-known belief systems. It teaches a complex philosophy that focuses on J. R. "Bob” Dobbs, purportedly a salesman from the 1950s, who is revered as a prophet by the Church. SubGenius leaders have developed detailed narratives about Dobbs and his relationship to various gods and conspiracies. Their central deity, Jehovah 1, is accompanied by other gods drawn from ancient mythology and popular fiction. SubGenius literature describes a grand conspiracy that seeks to brainwash the world and oppress Dobbs’ followers. In its narratives, the Church presents a blend of cultural references in an elaborate remix of the sources.“
“The Aetherius Society is a millenarian, New Age, UFO religion. It was founded by George King in the mid-1950s as the result of what King claimed were contacts with extraterrestrial intelligences, whom he referred to as “Cosmic Masters”. Regarded as firmly based in Theosophy, the Aetherius Society combines UFO claims, yoga, and ideas from various world religions, notably Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity. Stefan Isaksson notes that it has “become a complex religious belief system that includes an extraterrestrial hierarchy of various spiritual masters and such concepts as universal karma and religious healing.” The religion’s goal is to prevent worldly destruction by improving cooperation between humanity and various alien ‘masters’,and by using 'spiritual energy’ to improve the spiritual calibre of the world
👽 If you want more posts about UFO religions or want us to cover a specific group, message us!
I was doing some research for a paper about scientology and I started to wonder. How does L. Ron's books hold up against his contemporaries.
I hate to say this, because L. Ron Hubbard is a monster
who created a horrible cult responsible for ruining people’s lives, but…as
a pulp writer, he wasn’t half bad. I would love to hate him, but his stuff is not
unreadable dreck, and a lot of it are brainbending great reads and adventure yarns. A lot of the pulp scifi of
the time was about square jawed wisecracking engineers who are always drinking
booze and are traditionally heroic, but Hubbard’s pulp era output tended to be
about neurotics, nervous everymen who show fear and who get wrapped up in situations
they don’t entirely understand, kind of like Alfred Hitchcock’s characters in movies
like North by Northwest. Like many nervous people, he was fascinated by post-apocalyptic scenarios.
I hate armchair psychoanalysis, but I find that fascinating.
A lot of people in Hubbard’s organization say that Hubbard would constantly use
the e-meter on himself for auditing, and the feeling I get is that he wasn’t so
much a scam artist as much as he was someone who believed his own scam.
“Typewriter in the Sky” was a Philip K. Dick story before
Philip K. Dick, switching between a neurotic pianist in modern day and a pirate
story a friend of his is writing, and the characters in the story hear
typewriter clacking and reality changes every time the story is revised. The
inability to tell between fantasy and reality and passing between two worlds
are major themes of Hubbard’s (considering his life’s story, that’s kind of
fascinating), and you see it again in his horror novel Fear where it’s not
clear if a man fascinated by witches and demons is actually seeing witches and
demons, or if he’s hallucinating another horrible nightmare world. Another one
that dealt with these themes is “Slaves of Sleep,” an Arabian Nights fantasy where
a modern day guy who lives with his Aunt travels to an Arabian Nights world
whenever he falls asleep thanks to a genie’s curse, and meets a Queen of the
If I have a critique of most histories of Hubbard and
Scientology, it’s that they don’t see Dianetics as an extension of scifi
fandom, and they don’t analyze the context that produced Hubbard. The thing
that you have to remember about a lot of science fiction fandom of the 1940s
and 1950s is, it was kind of like InfoWars, with a lot of people who have very
fringe beliefs who were selling things that didn’t work. An example would be
how John W. Campbell, editor of Astounding Science Fiction (and Hubbard’s good
friend), who stuck his neck out and pushed fandom on something called the Dean
Drive, a reactionless thruster that ended up not working.
Dianetics is the other ultimate example of this; it was
originally published in Astounding (with a monster on the cover!) and it was one of fandom’s great
controversies gone over and over in letters pages and fanzines, with some
who believed it’s the best thing since sliced bread and others who found the whole
thing malarkey; basically, Dianetics was the GamerGate of its time (and might
have been even worse, considering how it all ultimately turned out). And then
you had the Shaver Mystery, which I’ve heard people describe as a “malformed
twin to UFO hysteria that died in the womb,” and which is too insane to
The Largest Infiltration of the US Government in History —- Operation Snow White
Spies have had their place in history ever since the beginning of city states, kingdoms, and empires, providing important intelligence about an adversary and enemy. Perhaps the golden age of spying occurred during the Cold War, where American and Soviet spies seemed to be behind every corner, listening in to every conversation and collecting every scrap of data that could be found. So it would be no surprise to learn that the largest infiltration of the United States Government occurred in the 1970’s. However, the source of the infiltration was not from the Soviet Union or any of the other communist bloc countries of the Cold War. Rather, the infiltration came from a most unexpected and unusual source; The Church of Scientology.
Formed in 1954 by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, the Church of Scientology had been under the suspicion of governments throughout the 1960’s and 70’s. The church was especially under close scrutiny by the US Government, who suspected the church was a cult which brainwashed and manipulated it members, and suspected the organization of tax fraud. In the late 1960’s a plan called “Operation Snow White” was drawn up by L. Ron’s wife, Mary Sue Hubbard, 2nd in command and head of the Guardian Office. The Guardian Office was a section of the church devoted to protecting the interests of the Scientology, especially against journalists, critics, and anyone who spoke out against the religion. Organized and planned by the Guardian Office, Operation Snow White called for the infiltration of various agencies in the US Government. Scientology members were to get jobs within these agencies, then use their positions to steal any government documents which portrayed the Church of Scientology in a negative light and to plant false information. Between 1973 and 1977, covert agents managed to infiltrate 136 government agencies, among them; the FBI, CIA, IRS, FDA, DEA, Coast Guard Intelligence, the Department of Justice, the Treasury Department, dozens of US Embassies, the American Medical Association, and the National Institute of Mental Health. In addition, they infiltrated foreign governments such as Canada and the UK, infiltrated numerous private agencies, and infiltrated other law enforcement agencies such as the LAPD, NYPD, Washington D.C. Police Department, and INTERPOL.
By 1977, the Church of Scientology had one of the largest spy networks across the globe, with around 5,000 secret agents infiltrating organizations across 30 countries. It was in that year that everything fell apart. It started when two agents, Gerald Wolfe and Michael Meisner were arrested in Justice Department offices with fake ID’s. The two tried cover story after cover story, but eventually spilled everything and turned state’s evidence for a plea bargain. On July 8th, 1977 the FBI raided Scientology centers in LA, Hollywood, and New York City. The Los Angeles raid alone lasted 21 hours and resulted in the filling of a 16 ton truck with documents and other evidence. The investigation revealed that the Church of Scientology had stolen 90,000 confidential documents, had wiretapped government officials on a number of occasions, and exposed almost all of the 5,000 agents that made up Scientology’s spy network. The investigation also revealed another program called “Operation Freakout”, a plan to frame journalist Paulette Cooper, who was critical of the church, with making false bomb threats in the hope of having her imprisoned or committed to a mental institution.
By 1978, the Scientology spy network had been completely dismantled. Mary Sue Hubbard and 11 other high ranking members of the Church of Scientology were indicted on charges of obstruction of justice, burglary, theft of documents, and theft of government property. All either were found guilty or pleaded guilty, and were charged with a 5 to 6 year prison sentence and $10,000 fine. L. Ron Hubbard was named as a co-conspirator, but was never charged as he spent the rest of his life in hiding ( a time when he wrote Battlefield Earth) avoiding various charges by the US government, French government, and numerous private lawsuits.
Hi, do you happen to know any drarry fics where they are best friends/became best friends? I would love to read them if there are. (: Thank you so much in advance and I really love your recs: they are amazing!!
Hi anon! Thank you so much! <3 I’m so happy you enjoy the recs! *hug* I
love stories when they are good friends or become good friends, too!
Oh, so many good ones! Here are some that I think you’ll enjoy. :)
Agnus Dei by SilentAuror (R, 20,9K) Summary:
Post-Hogwarts. Mystery abounds in the Auror Department, and two of the
Aurors find themselves experiencing a friendship more intense than it
(The Piece) I was Missing All Along by lauren3210 (NC-17, 30,7K) Summary:
Draco and Harry have been flatmates and best friends for years, and
Draco thinks like is just perfect that way. But when something comes
along and threatens to take all that away, Draco has to decide what it
is he really wants, and just how hard he’s going to work to get it.
Chaos Theory by @tessacrowley (NC-17, 102,7K) Summary:
Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate
present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies,
one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy’s life
is completely different. Draco has always found a certain comfort in
chaos. Perhaps he shouldn’t.
Fool Rushes In by oldenuf2nobetter (R, 16,6K) Summary:
In a burst of unexplained magic, Harry Potter’s Auror partner Draco
Malfoy has simply disappeared. Frantic with worry, terrified that
something really terrible has happened to the other man, Harry realizes
that what he feels for him just might be more than friendship.
Men Who Had Mothers by Zeitgeistic (NC-17, 11,3K) Summary:
This is what happens when you spend all of your time trying to save the
world and never bother to see what you’re saving. Inspired by vegans,
philosophy, mothers, docks, and hopes and dreams.
A Test of Character by SilentAuror (NC-17, 22,2K) Summary:
Draco Malfoy is nearly finished his Auror training. However, something
comes up in his character testing which may prevent him from qualifying:
he is required to befriend an old enemy.
No Other Superstar by lettered (NC-17, 21K) Summary:
Draco is sort of fucked up. Harry is sort of fucked up and really
really famous. Together they fight crime! Not in this fic, though. In
this fic they have sex.
An Act of Simple Devotion by blamebrampton (R, 13,3K) Summary:
It’s a age-old story. You fancy a boy and you think he fancies you.
Sure there are problems – attacks on former Death Eaters, crazed tabloid
journalists and your girlfriend – but you have a cunning plan. Now if
he’d only explain the L. Ron Hubbard-like references …
Party of Two by fireflavored (NC-17, 13,6K) Summary: Drinking, sex, and a total misreading of the concept of fuck buddies.
House of Booty Is Bad Booty by oceaxe (R, 11,1K) Summary:
Draco knows it’s not okay to have a crush on one’s housemate. Which is
why he should never have let Harry move in. Cameo by character from
another fandom- sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Defining Dickhead by who_la_hoop (PG-13, 8,3K) Summary: cockblock (vulgar, slang) verb: to impede the romantic or sexual advances of a person (usually a man) towards another
Chances Are… by cassie_black (R, 26,3K) Summary:
The war is over and the rebuild is underway at Hogwarts. Hermione drags
a reluctant Harry along to help. With guest appearance by
All Must Draw Near by Saras_girl (R, 61K) Summary: Harry doesn’t have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really.
This past weekend was my Birthday. And did i ever have luck at a local comic show:) this is the first of SEVEN classic pulps i picked up, all of them as well as my Fan Expo purchases will include the hashtag #mypulpfinds.
Thrilling Wonder Stories, vol.36 #3, August 1950, Canadian Edition.
Wow. There are two names here that for me, are very important, Earle Bergey & Jack Vance.
Bergey is arguably the most important of the scifi pulp cover artists, master of rayguns & fishbowl space helmets, and a major influence on scifi comics from Weird Science to Mystery in Space.
And Jack Vance, Hugo and Nebula award winning author and one of the all time greats of Space Opera & Planetary Romance, and by luck, one of my favourite writers of all time.
That said, beyond Vance we have stories from Henry Kuttner, Arthur C. Clarke and a pre-Scientology L. Ron Hubbard (about robot boxers, praise Xenu), and some gorgeous interior illustrations by Virgil Finlay.
10. Daniel Radcliffe wore the same dirty hat and jacket for six months in order to frustrate paparazzi because the pictures would always look “old” and couldn’t be sold.
9. On 12th September 2001, the day after 9/11, The Queen ordered her Royal Guards to break protocol and play the USA’s National Anthem for stranded Americans in London.
8. Miami Vice star Don Johnson once asked Hunter S. Thompson to answer old Zen philosophical question: ‘What is the sound of one hand clapping?’ Hunter S. Thompson answered by reaching up and slapping Johnson upside his head.
7. To help airline passengers deal with travel anxiety, San Francisco International Airport has hired the nation’s first airport therapy pig. LiLou wears costumes and performs tricks to help travelers calm down before boarding their flights.
So I was asked about the OT III
Scientology stuff I alluded to in my Dianetics liveblog, so I’ll explain what
that is in all its craziness, and also kind of try to put some context into why
this gets accepted by Scientologists once they do finally learn about, and why
they don’t acknowledge it once they do know it.
said, I am putting out an Official Warning. You see, according to the Church of
Scientology, knowing this before you reach OT level III will literally kill
you. To be precise, you will get pneumonia and then die because your body and
mind cannot handle this knowledge yet. Now, I am both still alive and pneumonia
free, as is everyone else I’ve told this to, so that’s PROBABLY not true, but I’ve
warned you all.
There is a story that Heinlein, A.E. van Vogt, and L. Ron Hubbard all got together to make a bet on who could create the best fictional religion. Van Vogt created Null-A logic for “The Players of Null A” (the image above) whereas Heinlein wrote “Stranger in a Strange Land” and Hubbard created Dianetics.
The Sea Org is the elite organization within Scientology, the members of which serve as the primary movers and shakers of the religion. The Sea Org is a strict organization, forcing members to work 100 hour work weeks, discouraging marriage, and forcing female members to get an abortion if they become pregnant.
Founded in 1967 by L. Ron Hubbard, the Sea Org wears US Navy uniforms, and the members are given naval ranks. This was because of Hubbard’s service with the US Navy during World War II. He claimed that he held the rank of commodore, had served in all five theatres of World War II, and had been awarded numerous medals and decorations for valor in combat, and was seriously wounded. In reality he held the rank of Lieutenant, commanded a pair of PT Boats, served mostly stateside, never saw combat, and his service was best described as substandard. The highlights of his military career include him making false reports about sinking two Japanese submarines and creating an international incident after bombarding a Mexican island just for shits and giggles.
Hey, so I looked at your rec masterlist and i tried searching "eighth year" and I found a few fics throughout, but I wasn't sure if you had a specific list of just eighth year fics, preferably fluffish? If you've already done one and I just missed it feel free to just slide past this message, or if you could please link me to it? Either way!!! Thank you so much! :)
I do have a tag for 8th year fics but you’re right, I haven’t really posted a lot of recs for it so here you go :)
Rating: NC-17, WC: 37k, Summary: The war is over and “eighth year” is about to begin at Hogwarts. But for Harry and Draco, nothing is quite the same. Harry’s looking for an escape, Draco’s looking for a friend. Does a little black bunny hold the answers for both of our boys?
Rating: NC-17, WC: 9k, Summary: Draco has a thing for Harry, but is so sure that his feeling aren’t reciprocated that he wastes his chance. Pansy takes matters into her own hands to ensure a happy ending.
Rating: PG-13, WC: 4k, Summary: Gryffindor may be the House of the brave but Harry’s feeling a bit nervous. It’s one thing to face a dragon or a Dark Lord. It’s quite another to make a move on the bloke who’s been your nemesis for the last eight years…
Rating: PG-13, WC: 7k, Summary: ‘I will retrieve your ball, but in return you must bring me into the castle and care for me. You must feed me from your plate, protect me from harm, and let me sleep on your pillow.’
Rating: PG-13, WC: 35.1k, Summary: Harry’s eighth-year at Hogwarts is going about as well as all the others. Someone is out to get him, Aurors keep questioning him about the final battle and, worst of all, Draco is determined to repay his life debt to Harry.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 73,173, Summary:Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory.Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy.Malfoy felt inevitable.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 28.9k, Summary: The room of requirement’s gone mad — at least, that’s what Harry thinks. There’s no way that Draco Malfoy ‘requires’ him, of all people, but why does it keep dragging Harry there like he’s some kind of furniture, every time Malfoy enters it? Throw in Pansy the pervert and a clipboard-wielding Hermione, and things can only go from bad to worse. And that’s not even mentioning the pirates …
Rating: NC-17, WC: 16k, Summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome
Rating: PG-13, WC: 13,3k, Summary: It’s a age-old story. You fancy a boy and you think he fancies you. Sure there are problems – attacks on former Death Eaters, crazed tabloid journalists and your girlfriend – but you have a cunning plan. Now if he’d only explain the L. Ron Hubbard-like references …
Rating: PG-13, WC: 21.4k, Summary: It’s a jinx that renders the victim mute, unless he/she serves the purpose of the jinx and kisses the person that they desire. It’s just Harry’s luck that he’s in love with Draco
Rating: PG-13, WC: 21.2k, Summary: Harry’s wand is playing up and Hermione thinks she knows the answer, but why does she have to be right all the time, why does Draco Malfoy have to be so god damn difficult and why is he wearing his tie backwards?
What she means:
Alright then, picture this if you will:
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
Holy fucking shit!
Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
So light in his way,
Like an apparition,
He had me crying out,
It's gotta be,
The blotter got right on top of me,
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.
You better listen.
When he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes.
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down.
This is so real.
Like the time he floated away.
See my heart is pounding,
'Cause this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe, right now!
It was so real.
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sort of terrifying.
And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
you all sound like Peanut's parents
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real.
Finally it's my lucky day.
See my heart is racing,
'Cause this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe, right now!
You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I just said, see they're telling true.
And this wasn't all in my head.
See they took me by the hand and invited me right in,
Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.
STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
GOD DAMN. SHIT THE BED!
(high... I I I I I... high... I I I I I)
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the one.
Born to bear and read to all
The details of our ending.
To write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen,
Shit the bed again,
STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
SUNKIST AND SUDAFED, GYROSCOPES AND INFRARED.
WON'T HELP, BRAIN DEAD.
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE A HERO!!!
So I’ve finally got round to rec-ing drarry 8th year!!! This has been a long time coming so thank you guys for your patients, I just really wanted this to be thorough as it’s my favourite genre. On this list I’ve included all fics that include going back to Hogwarts after the war (because some don’t strictly focus on 8th year, instead call it re-doing 7th year). All fic’s here are also pretty long, I thought I wouldn’t included one-shots because you’d be waiting on me forever to finish that list. So if you guys want to see an 8th year one shot rec just ask and I’ll do that separately. I completely adore 8th year fics, so hope you enjoy (my absolute favs are marked with ***)
Bond *** Yet another one of those Harry And Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Stuff Happens Leading To Twoo Wuv stories. Because every HD writer has to write at least one. [Finished]
Mental *** Harry thinks he’s spent enough time sharing a mind with somebody else thank you very much.
Right Hand Red *** Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory.
To Give Everything Draco finds The Room, a torture chamber in the Hogwarts dungeons and longs for someone to submit to him. Harry finds he needs that and more.
At your Service *** Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There’s only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved. An eight year fic.
Love Comes Tumbling*** 'Harry’s thoughts were of how much he would have done differently with Malfoy over the years, and of Dumbledore’s final words to the other boy … “It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now.” Maybe, Harry wondered, he could find some mercy, too, and give Malfoy the second chance that Dumbledore had believed him worthy of.’
Tug O Want Harry is back at Hogwarts minding his own business when he finds himself magically drawn to Draco Malfoy. Over and over again.
Get Some*** Harry is sick of everyone treating him differently after the war, and catches onto the one person who doesn’t seem to care
Let Me be Your VoiceAs the hero of the revolution, Harry leads the wizarding world in its efforts to rebuild; but first old wounds must be tended, rifts caused by hate mended, and his history with Draco Malfoy seems like the perfect place to start.
When the Songbird Stopped Singing Shortly after the war, Draco Malfoy wakes up with a new understanding, and Harry Potter needs firmer ground to walk on. Unfortunately, life is never easy, especially with the burdens of N.E.W.T.s looming closer. As Draco struggles to maintain his sanity, Harry is back to his old routine—stalking Draco.
Marginal Notes When you’re 18, and nothing is as it was meant to be, sometimes it can be hard to let the right people know what you are thinking.
Two Sides of the Same Coin*** Harry and Draco find out the hard way that the line between hate and love is a fine one, and that somewhere between the Battle of Hogwarts and being thrust back together as Hogwarts eighth years, they may have just crossed it.
Don’t Think Twice Harry was just trying to get away for a while. He didn’t mean to get trapped in the Prefect’s Bath with Draco Malfoy.
Unknown Pleasures The Room of Requirement was definitely broken. Why else would it be presenting Harry with a whip, some handcuffs, a blindfold, and a… what exactly was that thing, anyway?
Hurt for the Right Reasons Everything was so cocked up. He just wanted this one thing. He wanted to hurt for the right reasons for once.
PunishmentHarry loses an impromptu wager with unforeseen consequences that open doors neither he nor Draco Malfoy had known existed.
How to Handle an Enemy Everyone knows that it’s no fun playing truth or dare with a Slytherin. But add a little Veritaserum, a scheming duo of Slytherin girls and surprising things can be revealed. Particularly about the fine line between love and hate…
The Potter Malfoy Problem The room of requirement’s gone mad — at least, that’s what Harry thinks. There’s no way that Draco Malfoy ‘requires’ him, of all people, but why does it keep dragging Harry there like he’s some kind of furniture, every time Malfoy enters it? Throw in Pansy the pervert and a clipboard-wielding Hermione, and things can only go from bad to worse. And that’s not even mentioning the pirates …
Dragon Tamer Desperate to avoid an arranged marriage, Draco convinces Harry to pretend to be his boyfriend. What follows is an epic romantic comedy involving scheming, snogging, silliness, shagging, snarky boys, superstars, singing, shagging, snuggling, secrets, sex gods, shagging, and a bunny named Draco Lucius Malfoy the Third.
Absolution Draco and Harry return to Hogwarts after the war, both struggling with their own issues. Their unlikely friendship blooms into more but is torn apart by circumstances outside their control. Warnings for slash, language and explicit sexual content.
Aftermath Harry returns to Hogwarts to finish his education but there have been a few changes – the most important of which is a Slytherin in the Gryffindor dorms and a teacher who is acting suspiciously.
An Act of Simple Devotion It’s a age-old story. You fancy a boy and you think he fancies you. Sure there are problems – attacks on former Death Eaters, crazed tabloid journalists and your girlfriend – but you have a cunning plan. Now if he’d only explain the L. Ron Hubbard-like references …
For all the Marbles The prompt I worked with “Harry has lost his marbles and Draco helps him find them.” I had a lot of fun with it. Hope you enjoy it!
He was He and I was a BunnyThe war is over and “eighth year” is about to begin at Hogwarts. But for Harry and Draco, nothing is quite the same. Harry’s looking for an escape, Draco’s looking for a friend. Does a little black bunny hold the answers for both of our boys?
Master Work Harry’s eighth-year at Hogwarts is going about as well as all the others. Someone is out to get him, Aurors keep questioning him about the final battle and, worst of all, Draco is determined to repay his life debt to Harry.
Moving On Harry tries to put his life back together after the fall of Voldemort, but it’s more complicated than he thought. And he hadn’t counted on war changing everything around him so much.
Trajectories Rembrandt’s phrase in describing his painting: “Die meeste ende di naetureelste beweechgelickhijt”, can be translated as greatest, most natural movement (emotion or motive).
Unexpected Consequences*** Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn’t know why he expected anything different.
Helix*** Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again. [2014 advent fic]
In the Interest of Inter-House Co-operation Organizing a Duelling Club was supposed to be a fun extracurricular activity for Harry’s 8th year. But add in Draco Malfoy and a malfunctioning Room of Requirement, and things can’t help but get complicated.
No Greater Victory Back at Hogwarts after the war, a defeated Draco Malfoy is prepared to settle for life’s simpler pleasures: snark, sex, and Slytherin scheming. That is until Pansy, newly in possession of Malfoy Manor, offers to return his ancestral home. Just one condition: he has to win, and break, Harry Potter’s heart to get it. That’s no problem. Draco’s got this situation completely under control. Completely. At least until he doesn’t.
Something I Don’t Want to Stop It’s Harry and Draco’s eighth year, the Houses have been all but demolished in favor of unity, and they’re being forced to room together. How ever will they cope?
What Malfoys Don’t Do There are things that Malfoys simply don’t do. They don’t cry, or show any emotion unless entirely unavoidable. They don’t back down. And they certainly don’t admit that maybe, just maybe, they might be wrong about a few things.Draco’s back for his eighth year, and with everything that’s changed, these basic rules will soon be called into question.
White Lies Draco drinks a potion that makes him know if a person is lying, and Harry, apparently at fault that Draco is this way, is forced to 'help’ him with the effects of the potion. For the first time, they deal with each other with no lies to hide behind.
Oh and I’m going to try and keep this list updated, so don’t be alarmed if it keeps getting longer
Stan Marsh: And best of all, I wrote that all the Scientologists should no longer have to pay money to belong.
Scientology President: What?
Stan: I realize that to really be a church, we can’t charge people for help.
President: What are you, stupid?! Then how do we make money from those people?!
Stan: …Well, it’s not about the money. It’s about the message, right?
President: Wait a minute, whoa, whoa! You don’t actually believe this crap, do you?? Dummy! Brainwashed alien souls?? E-meters and thetan levels?? Those people out there buy that crap, and I thought YOU were smart enough to see what was really going on!
Stan: But you said that there were–
President: What’s better than telling people a stupid story and having them believe you?! Having them PAY you for it, stupid!
Stan: But then, why me? Why do you need me to write something so badly?
President: Because if those people all think you’re the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, then they’ll all buy your new writings, and you and I together will make three million dollars!
Stan: Three million dollars?
President: That’s how the scam works! But this is a scam on a global scale! Do you fucking get me now?!
Okay guys. What if Danny practice his “detective” voice while reading detective novels? Like imagine him with Dani, reading L. Ron Hubbard The Trail of the Red Diamonds, changing his voice to match the tone. While he reads, the others yj hears him reading. Soon enough they joined Dani on the floor, listening.
Then of course, the JL hears him reading similar to Batman. Not really mocking him, but just well enough to be a tiny bit concern.
Dianetics, Part 3 - Disabilities actually ARE caused by sin!
All right, so I just finished Chapter 2, titled “The Clear” where some very bold claims were made, as well as some contradictory ones. Before I really go into the chapter itself, I want to give some context to some of the conclusions I’ll make from this chapter.
I know that while Scientology is a topic of interest because its strange, most people don’t know a lot about how it works. I’ve done way too much research into Scientology, so I’ll explain the basic concept of the Bridge and ultimate goals of the individual Scientologist so that I can explain why this chapter is purposely either withholding information or contradicted by other Scientology concepts.
hiiii. your blog is great!! I'm wondering if you know of any fics in which Harry and Draco hide their relationship?? like when they're alone they are all cute but when in public they go back to "hating" each other
I’m so sorry for the delay! I’m not sure if in all of these fics they hate each other, but their relationship is kept secret. Also, I’m not so sure about cute, these fics can get pretty angsty - the first 10 fics are pretty fluffy compared to the rest.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 44,000, Summary: Potter needs control; Draco needs forgiveness. They shag; Lavender gives advice; they yell; Seamus makes muffins; they fight; and everyone else drinks far too much coffee for their own wellbeing.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 11,500, Summary: Draco’s been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he’s sure it’s just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 6,372, Summary: When Harry and Draco’s “not serious” three-year relationship results in a one-in-a-million pregnancy, they decide who will be the unlucky one to tell their families in a very mature and adult fashion that indubitably proves their inherently stellar parenting abilities: with a bet over a (probably rigged, let’s be real; Draco is playing) game of Exploding Snap. Content/Warnings: MPreg
Rating: NC-17, WC: 8,230, Summary: “Why do you keep sneaking out of here when I’m sleeping? Like I’m some one night stand you’re ashamed of?” - Harry has to figure out what he wants before Draco gets sick of waiting.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 22,150, Summary: When Hermione rushes off to the Amazon, Ron is left alone in handling their brooding third wheel. Somehow, he drags Malfoy into the mix and the stupid Ferret steals the show.
Rating: PG-13, WC: 13,368, Summary: It’s a age-old story. You fancy a boy and you think he fancies you. Sure there are problems – attacks on former Death Eaters, crazed tabloid journalists and your girlfriend – but you have a cunning plan. Now if he’d only explain the L. Ron Hubbard-like references…
Rating: PG-13, WC: 7,000, Summary: “Draco meets Harry’s eyes, and Harry has a brief moment to wonder how this suddenly got so serious. All he’d been thinking about this morning was being able to have enough time to get Draco’s shirt off, and now they’d been found out by his mother and were having a standoff in the hallway about their relationship and how dangerous it could potentially be, in more ways than one.”
Rating: PG-13, WC: 12,778, Summary: Harry had spent the first years after the war waiting and trying to fall in love with Ginny and had been unable to. It had turned out all right, sort of. Ginny had settled down with the Harpies’ Seeker and Harry, well, Harry had Draco. Sometimes.
Rating:NC-17, WC: 26,500, Summary: It’s a Mind Healer’s worse nightmare to lose a patient to suicide, but Mind Healer Nick Nichols can attest to the fact that a murder/suicide is even worse. If only Dr. Freud had come up with a sure cure for love.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 92,189, Summary: When the wife of a star politician in the Scottish Ministry turns up dead just outside Hogsmeade, Draco Malfoy and his murder investigation team are called in from the Edinburgh Auror force to find her killer. What DCI Malfoy doesn’t expect, however, is to have an ex from two decades past end up in his murder room, endangering not only his case, but also his heart.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 81,220, Summary: Harry is getting rather fed up with everyone treating him differently after the war, and catches hold of the one person who doesn’t seem to care about his hero status.
Rating: NC-17, WC: 22,450, Summary: Draco Malfoy has written an explosive autobiography. Not only does lay bare his role as a Death Eater, he also makes a number of other shocking revelations. Harry Potter owls him, asking that they meet for drinks to discuss his novel. Content/Warnings: Epilogue Compliant
Rating:NC-17, WC: 18,000, Summary: Draco knew what his life was going to be like, there was never any doubt. He never expected to fall in love especially with someone who wasn’t his wife. But, he did, and somehow, Harry Potter became the thing that kept him breathing. Content/Warnings: Epilogue Compliant
Rating: NC-17, WC: 3,810, Summary: He lights a cigarette across the pub, his hand cupped to his mouth as the tip sparks to life in a faint orange flare, and my breath catches. Content/Warnings: Ambiguous Ending
Rating: NC-17, WC: 20,660, Summary: Harry’s job is in the public eye but his closely guarded private life is not. When Draco is inducted as the Quidditch physio, will they be able to prevail as platonic and indifferent accqaintances or will Harry finally prove his worth?
Rating: NC-17, WC: 149,540, Summary: Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.
Rating: PG-13, WC: 14,266, Summary: The Tri-Wizard Tournament is returning to Hogwarts to mark the ten-year anniversary of the defeat of Voldemort. When Draco walks off the Durmstrang ship, Harry, now a Hogwarts professor, is thrown by an unexpected attraction. Over the course of the next year, he will have to deal with those feelings as well as the aftermath of the war, something he has put off for far too long.
Rating: PG-13, WC: 117,270, Summary: Harry and Draco find out the hard way that the line between hate and love is a fine one, and that somewhere between the Battle of Hogwarts and being thrust back together as Hogwarts eighth years, they may have just crossed it.
Rating: PG-13, WC: 45,478, Summary: Harry decides to be very straight-forward about what he wants. Unfortunately, the answer he gets is more than a little disappointing. Now he has nine days to turn things around.