Imagine Dirk Gently season one except that Rapunzel was a fucking massive Great Dane or a Pitbull or something.

Imagine that they’ve gotten themselves trapped in Rimmer’s bathroom in episode two and they have to deal with an enthusiastic shaggy beast that Todd’s lowkey convinced is a wolf and Dirk has to try get the bloody thing out of the house somehow.

(Though imagine Rimmer trapping Lydia in the body of a dog with teeth and only realizing it when it’s too late).

anonymous asked:

Melly- strange going ons at 1D HQ- yesterday Wattpad wrote "Harry's launch lacks style" saying he copied Ade le and should have congratulated Chiam- today he has written a piece calling off her pop career and saying she is going to be a professional mummy and delayed baby announcement to cash in on Mothers Day. I just found it interesting as the guy is a total goon and writes what he is told and this is pretty much the first time he has been negative towards either Harry or Cheryl. Curious times


Yeah, I read that article about Cheryl and Harry a few hours ago and felt boobs of smugness, because me and a decent number of other folks pretty much said for months now that baby was going to be the center of her comeback campaign. Wootton didn’t really call off her pop career, he just said that she was re-branding and that music wasn’t going to be the focal point (people of the UK rejoice!) - her baby was.  And, here we are, slightly grossed out and right:

She is aiming to tap into the very lucrative “mummy market”, leaving boyfriend and new dad LIAM PAYNE to be the pop star in the family.

“She is the new face on the baby market and has already been inundated with offers to be the face of baby products and various ranges.

“It’s something that she really wants to exploit.”

In information that surprises exactly no one, Cheryl’s baby is her official marketing strategy. But you’re also right that there was some uncharacteristic Dan Wootton shade thrown in there, because even he seemed to have orders to throw shade at her thirst and admitted she had chosen to make the announcement for Mother’s Day purposely:

I’d been told about it on Thursday but Cheryl was desperate to keep it secret, to benefit from a Mothering Sunday announcement.

A source that was definitely Cheryl even added:  “It was perfect for her image to announce the news in time for Mother’s Day.”

 I was surprised at how open she was with the big reveal — given how secretive she was about the pregnancy.This makes her bid to be the new Myleene even more ironic, as she’ll need to become a very public face again to fit with her new image.That’s unless she specialises in designer baby balaclavas.

I’m a curious hoe to see where this is going, but if you called this, go ahead & give yourself a Business Hoe pat on the back today.

teletraan-l  asked:

How would MTMTE Rodimus, Whirl, Ultra Magnus and Drift react to their human s/o losing their glasses and not being able to see around the Lost Light? (I can't even see around my room without glasses so I can't imagine the terror of trying to navigate around a giant ship)

Especially with very large robots who won’t notice a human stumbling around oh no

Rodimus Prime MTMTE

He’d laugh a bit when he saw just how much you needed them, but he’s not a complete asshole so he’d help you try to find them

If you absolutely could not find them, he’d have Brainstorm try to make you another pair (it might have a tiny laser somewhere on it…). Rodimus would carry you where you needed to go until you could see properly again, he doesn’t want to see you get squished 


Whirl is a complete asshole so at first he laughs super hard at you trying to find your way around a cluttered room. Eventually though, he stops and tries to help you find your glasses. There’s a pretty good chance you’ll hear a loud crunching sound though…goodbye glasses…you had a good run…

He feels bad for stepping on them even if his apology wasn’t the best (’oops, my bad’), so he lets you ride in his cockpit until you can get them replaced 

Ultra Magnus MTMTE

The only one who doesn’t laugh at your predicament, Magnus immediately stops to help you find your glasses. Even after retracing your steps, they’re still gone though 

He feels a bit apprehensive about letting you walk around the ship like that, so even if you had a job elsewhere on the ship, he’d wave your responsibilities for the day and let you stay with him. Later, he asks Ratchet, maybe even Rung since he wears glasses, if they can somehow get you a replacement pair 


He nickers a bit when he sees you crawling around the floor, trying to find your glasses. He doesn’t dwell on it though, he’s down on his hands and knees too looking. He’s horrified when his knee lands on something, followed by a crunching sound. “I think I just found them…no no no oh no y/n I am so sorry-” 

He feels terrible about breaking them, and does everything he can to replace them. He carries you to wherever you need to go, because he really doesn’t trust the crew to not step on you (plus he gets to spend more time with you now! That’s a big tick!)