l i o n s

Reasons why Peter Parker is a Disaster™ with secret identities:

  • Makes his spiderwebs in school, during class, with 20+ students and teachers present.
  • Talks vocally about how he stole Cap’s shield and then got beaten up. In a fucking silent gym hall where sound BOUNCES DON’T U KNOW THAT PETER UR SUPPOSED TO BE A NERD-
  • Anyway
  • Blatantly just fuckin. Jumps over 13 ft. fences bc he feels like it. Is Incapable of just Walking Normally like Normal Humans. Beneath him.
  • “Time to go on my daily patrol!” “hm. Where should I go to change out of my everyday clothes and turn into the mystery hero?” “oh, I know!” A FUCKING ALLEY IN PLAIN VIEW OF EVERYONE COME ON PETER
  • Seems to just regularly wear his suit under his clothes? Because there are no ways that could go wrong. At all.
  • Takes his fucking mask off and sits on a roof to brood over his crush whilst she stands under a HUGE ASS WINDOW WHERE ANYONE WHO JUST. VAGUELY TILTED THEIR HEAD UPWARD COULD CLEARLY SEE HIM.
  • PETER WHAT THE FUCK
  • For some reason decides it is a Good Idea to take his school bag with him on missions? And wears his school jacket over the suit? Do you….,.,. sweetie are you trying to get caught here?
  • TAKES HIS FUCKING MASK OFF LIKE. ALL THE FUCKING TIME JESUS CHRIST PARKER
  • Leaves both his suit+his web fluid in The Most Top Secret of places,,,, the impenetrable fortress that is,,,.,..,.underneath a school locker.
  • Is Generally A Bumbling Fool 
  • Tony u need to teach ur kid some fucking superhero etiquette what on Earth is this

hey you know what makes me furious? all the negative portrayals of Christians in fiction media. We’re not supposed to be hateful and intolerant of every little flaw, we’re not supposed to just /say/ we’re Christians and then do things like cuss have affairs and just… s i n without caring about it. That’s how SO many people write Christians, and it’s inaccurate to how we’re supposed to act and downright infuriating.