kyle bradley

  • Butters: Wtf is Sephora it sounds scary.
  • Kevin: isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy?
  • Gary: no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels
  • Damien: No you’re thinking of a Seraph. A sephora is a second year college or high school student
  • Token: No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.
  • Tweek: no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.
  • Craig: No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.
  • Clyde: You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.
  • Kyle: You’re thinking of Safari. Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.
  • Ike: You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.
  • Stan: No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.
  • Cartman: No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the stupid Jews out of Egypt fucking bitch.
  • Kenny: No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.
  • Jimmy: No, you’re thinking of Sappho. Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.
  • Pete: No, you’re thinking of Zeppo. Sephora is the Heimdall’s sister.
  • Michael: No no no guys, you’re thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora.
  • Bradley: No, you’re thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.
  • Wendy: No, you’re thinking of euphoria. Sephora’s a fucking makeup store you dipshits.
  • All boys: .....oh!!!!!!
should you fight them: south park edition

Cartman: Ok so objectively you shouldn’t fight him because he fed a guy his own parents over $16, but the point stands that it would be really really easy to win and he totally deserves it. Fight Cartman.

Kyle: He’s been through enough. Leave him be. Don’t fight Kyle.

Stan: He needs a reality check. You’ll probably lose the fight because of his raw power, but it will make him a better person and he will give an “I learned something today” speech over your lifeless body. Fight Stan.

Kenny: He’s dead all the time. Once more won’t kill him. He’d probably let you do it for $5. Fight Kenny.

Butters: PLEASE DON’T FIGHT BUTTERS. He’ll either go ax-crazy as Professor Chaos, or he’ll just stand there and take it. Neither is good. Don’t fight Butters.

Craig: ARE YOU CRAZY. He fought TWEEK. And held his own. Plus if you mess with him you have his boyfriend Tweek to deal with too. Just let them be gay together. Don’t fight Craig.

Tweek: ARE YOU CRAZY. He fought CRAIG. And held his own. Plus if you mess with him you have his boyfriend Craig to deal with too. Just let them be gay together. Don’t fight Tweek.

Token: He’ll probably walk away from the violence and then punch you when you’re not expecting it. Preemptively make the first move. Fight Token.

Clyde: Call him a mama’s boy and he’ll cry. Hit him and he’ll cry. Don’t hit him and he’ll cry. There’s no winning with this one. Take pity on him and buy him a donut and ask him what’s wrong. Don’t fight Clyde.

Jimmy: Jimmy will tell you bad jokes until you either hate him or love him. Either way, you’re not going to get around to fighting him. Don’t fight Jimmy.

Kevin Stoley: Ok, he seems like a BB-8, but in reality he is a Sith Lord Jar Jar. He once took over a ship using only a lightsaber. Don’t fight him if you want to keep your skin. Don’t fight Kevin.

Ike: IKE NEEDS A GOOD ASS KICKING. WHO CARES IF HE’S 3. HE’S IRRESPONSIBLE. KICK THE BABY INDEED. FIGHT IKE.

The Goth Kids: They will mail you to Scottsdale and burn down your house. Depending on which Goth kid you piss off your punishment will vary. Best case scenario…dance-off. Worst case scenerio…being turned into an emo by alien plants. Don’t fight the Goth Kids.

Bradley Biggle: Sure he’s an alien superhero who defeated Cthulhu with the power of mint and berries, yet with a satisfying, tasty crunch, but lets face it. He could use an ass kicking. Fight Bradley Biggle.

Gregory: He’ll hum La Resistance as he’s fighting you and you’ll end up having a duet. Or he’ll refer to the fight as fisticuffs and it won’t even start. You’re never going to get around to fighting Gregory.

The Mole: The Mole is the kind of kid who you’ll have a long-standing feud with but neither of you actually want to do anything about it besides curse at each other. It’s like fighting Gregory, except it’s a conscious choice. You’ll never get around to fighting the Mole, either.

Damien: He will turn you into a duck-billed platypus, set you on fire and damn you to hell, and maybe cry a little bit in the process. You don’t want to see Damien cry. He might cry acid or something.  Don’t fight Damien.

Pip: He looks like a chump British kid who you can push around, but he is a dodgeball master. He will kill you and get his boyfriend to doom you to hell. Don’t fight Pip.

Wendy: She once kicked Cartman’s ass. She might play dirty. Only fight her if necessary.

Bebe: She will ruin your social life. Also if you do fight her she might get hurt which will make Clyde mad and then you’ll have to hit both of the cinnamon rolls??? Don’t fight Bebe.