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Foreword to The Goon Show Scripts by Major Denis Bloodnok (Peter Sellers).

Full text below:

Denis Bloodnok & Partner (Deceased)
Solicitors
COMMISSIONERS FOR MILITARY AND CIVIL OATHS.
THREATS ISSUED AND RECEIVED.
OLD PHOTOGRAPHS STORED.

1, Crocks Building, Mayfair, Camden Town

Dear Sir,

My client, Mr. Pewter Fentners, the well known actor and thing, has instructed me to issue writs of paper unless you are prepared to withdraw this publication which contains certain passages written to a Miss Minerva Bannister, and alludes to a salacious relationship between that good lady and a Mr. H. Crun. Any persons reading these passages (ahhn!) could be alarmed and woken up.

Unless something is done, either by sending certain monies to Mr. Pewter Fentners by way of compensation c/o my good self, or better still, direct to me, I shall be forced (ahhn!) to issue a military document of a disturbing nature.

Be warned sir, you are dealing with - um - er - anyway my brother is a wrestler and my aunt is a policeman.

Cordially, (ahhn!)

Yours,

[signature: Denis Bloodnok (Major)]

MAJOR DENIS BLOODNOK
SFI and BAR