kurt and ram


I’m a dead girl walking… this is what happens when you let theater kids do Halloween


If he said help me kill the president
I’d say he needs medicine
Sick of screaming let us in
The wires got the best of him


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Some of the best things I’ve heard in Heathers rehearsal so far:

  • “Oh no! My shirt, where’d it go?” followed by really slow and awkward finger guns
  • “Free pizza, and we don’t even have to buy it a pussy!”
  • “Those stupid tree thumpers”
  • *dramatically pirouettes and leaps in* “BIG SWORDFIGHT IN HER MOUTHHH”
  • “Aww that seems like a relationship that would last.” “Yeah until one of them blows up” “I guess you could say their love is….. explosive”
  • *Our choreographer screaming like one of those sheep used in parodies back in vintage youtube days whenever she gets frustrated or needs to get people’s attention.*
  • “So you’re going to do a Jesus lift” “A WHAT” “Just put your arms out and they’ll lift you like you’re Jesus resurrecting from the cross”
  • “Welcome to Newsies on steroids.”
  • “Be the closeted gay we all need.”
  • “The first step to any good plan is murder.”
  • “How much bitch is enough bitch though?”
  • “Imagine having to explain to someone like ““oh how’d you break your tailbone?” ““Oh I booty-popped too hard.”” 
  • “When we go off to makeover Veronica, can she still have the monocle, but, hear me out, it’s now bedazzled.”
  • “I have to check the historical accuracy of bedazzling in the ‘80s.”
  • “Okay, but what if we made it gay?”
  • “COSTUME NOTE: SOMEONE MAKE RAM PARTY SLIPPERS!” “What if they’re like bunny slippers, but with tiny party hats?!”
  • “This is Ram, he’s not very nice, but somehow my best friend still wants to fuck him.”
  • “Your whole bio better be about how much you love and respect women or else I can’t help you when your ass is being kicked.”
  • “I paired you guys together because you say he’s your sort of boyfriend later.” *Kurt proceeds to emark in various sexual dance endeavors with multiple other women* “That’s where the sort of comes into play….”
  • “SHUT UP HEATHER” *bursts out crying*
  • Our original Chandler dropped out so our original Duke got promoted to her role and just looks at me and says “Oh my god this is the most Heather Duke thing that has ever happened to me”
  • “That’s a school cheer?!?!”
  • “What if when she makes you spit up the pills, your wig flies off?” “Oh no you’ve discovered the real reason behind my crisis, I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE”
  • “Maybe he should take up knitting or something as a hobby rather than therapedic murder.”
  • “The saddest thing is that’s not even 3rd base”
  • “Veronica, you’re soaking wet!” *cue our assistant stage manager loosing her shit*
  • “My character description is just internal screaming.”
  • “Who needs a dance partner when you have weed?”
  • “I feel bad having to ask but was that supposed to be a dick joke?”
  • “Do I get extra points if one of the pills hits someone in the face?”
  • “I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure I’m still gay”
  • “Why didn’t they just throw the bomb and run or something, like why are they so determined to die?” 
  • *recites Blue Reprise as demonic slam poetry because we didn’t have rehearsal tracks yet*  
  • “Veronica, it’s not a phase. I’m just naturally a slightly psychotic bag of angst with great hair.”
  • *music director teaching us Blue* ”They’ll curl up on your face. And purr like-” *slowly looks up from music and proceeds to put his head in his hands* “There’s moments that I evaluate my life and this is definitely one of them.”

And we’re still about 3 weeks from tech week

Pt. 2: https://dimpled-doll.tumblr.com/post/166238065477/some-of-the-best-things-ive-heard-in-heathers

Heathers in a Nutshell
  • Beautiful: veronica? being unpopular? it's more likely than you thin- wait nevermind the color coded gays are here to save the day
  • Candy Store: give the note to fat and step into my store of treats while i high kick into oblivion
  • Fight For Me: p l ease p u n ch m e t oo
  • Freeze Your Brain: i stick my dick in slushies ok IT HELPS ME VERONICA YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND
  • Big Fun: Y O U N E E D A J E L L O S H O T
  • Dead Girl Walking: let's break the emo's dick haha fun
  • Me Inside of Me: i said chandler are you dead, she said, "yEAh, i'm dead"
  • Blue: my male genitalia is a shade of blue
  • Blue (Reprise): veronisucc x2
  • Our Love is God: the dinosaurs are D E A D
  • My Dead Gay Son: gay fishing trip affair
  • Seventeen: love me you emo fuck
  • Shine A Light: ah yes singing can cure depression
  • Shine A Light (Reprise): the green is a M E A N
  • Kindergarten Boyfriend: ram please love me i have a horse AND IT DOES THE FLAPPING OF WINGS
  • Yo Girl: girl u fucked
  • Meant To Be Yours: blowing up a school is a symbol of my love you whore
  • Dead Girl Walking (Reprise): croquet mallet as a weapon ah yes
  • I Am Damaged: lmao bye
  • Seventeen (Reprise): let's all get along now even though if this had happened in the beginning nO ONE WOULD'VE HAD TO FUCKING DIE
  • Bonus Songs!:
  • You’re Welcome: rapping intensifies
  • Chainsaw (Reprise): veronica is cow kin rumor
  • Big Fun (Reprise): veronica v o r e s ram and kurt like a buffet
  • Never Shut Up Again: SHUT THE F U C K UP MCNAMARA