kurama sake

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry I'm so obsessed, but...Naruto/reverse!Kurama platonic soulmates. Grown Naruto following Kurama around and laughing his ass off exactly as Kurama thought he would. And being flabbergasted at Kurama sleeping with Zabuza & getting it on with Kakashi.

Oops Naruto/reverse!Kurama platonic soulmate anon. To clarify, #29 because it’d be hilarious if Naruto was the ghost he was terrified of. 

Ooooh, this is fun! Thank you for being obsessed! ^-^

Kurama drags a hand through his hair as he staggers upright, casting a glance back at the bed. Kakashi is nothing but an unmoving lump under the blankets, only the very top of his silver hair visible, and Kurama has to roll his eyes. It’s not like he did all the work last night, lazy bastard.

Deciding that coffee sounds like just about the best thing right now, Kurama staggers out of the room and shuts the door behind him, then turns and yelps, finding himself nose-to-nose with the ghost of his best friend.

“Sage damn it, Naruto,” he hisses, taking a quick glance down the hall to make sure none of the kids are up. “Could you stop fucking sneaking up on me?”

“Can you stop sleeping with my teacher?” Naruto hisses back, flailing his arms. “First Zabuza and now Kakashi? Kurama, it’s weird!” The last sentence is nearly a wail.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“We,” Kurama says slowly and clearly, because he adores Naruto but the kid is as thick as a damned brick, “are platonic soulmates. I know Sakura gave you the talk about that, and I know you had sex with Sasuke multiple times while I was present, so how the fuck is this any weirder?”

Naruto’s face contorts into an expression of horror. “You were watching us? Kurama!”

For about twenty seconds, Kurama just stares flatly at his idiot of a soulmate. Then, taking a breath, he closes his eyes, counts to ten, and says, “Naruto. I was sealed inside of you. Where the hell else was I supposed to be?”

This time, the face Naruto makes is definitely more in line with him as a genin, forced to eat vegetables, rather that the nearly forty-year-old veteran of two wars that he actually is. “That doesn’t mean you had to watch!”

Kurama rolls his eyes again. “Idiot. If I had to put up with front row seats while you and the Uchiha screwed every time you had ten minutes alone, you can put up with me spending one night with Zabuza. And Kakashi is a long-term thing, so fucking get used to it. You don’t even have to stick around while we’re screwing. You know that, right?”

“But I know what you’re doing!” Naruto protests, though when Kurama growls he raises his hands. “Okay, okay, fine, but that’s my body you’re wearing and it’s still creepy.

If Kurama could touch him, he’d thump Naruto’s head against the wall a few times to try and rattle some sense loose. As it is, he has to content himself with another very obvious eye-roll as he walks right through the man, heading for the kitchen.

Naruto squawks in loud offense, and Kurama hides a grin.

  • Me to Yusuke: You darling angry honey-pie, ILU.
  • Me to Kuwabara: Precious cinnamon bun, too good for this world, too pure.
  • Me to Hiei: For fuck's sake keep your shirt on.
  • Me to Kurama: For fuck's sake, take your shirt off.