Humanity’s oldest mpreg
So, Kumarbi is Anu’s vizier. He tries to kill him to take his place, as viziers do. The fight is rough, so rough that Kumarbi bites off Anu’s balls.
“I win,” he says, “because you can no longer have children to succeed you.” But Anu replies “Oh I will have children, you’re already carrying them!”
Kumarbi tries to spit, but it’s too late. OK, he won, but he’s pregnant and carrying his enemy’s children. And they become big! He wants them to get out, because, well, it’s uncomfortable and shameful, and Anu wants them to come out too.
Anu tries to convince them to get out using Kumarbi’s mouth. Or ears. Something. But they are already bothersome, yet unborn. And they say no. it would not be dignified. It would hurt. There’s no good way to get out of a man’s body.
So Anu goes and sees Ea, god of wisdom, who tries to convince them again, and fails again. Obstinate children! So he takes a Big Knife and cuts Kumarbi’s side.
Only one child can get out. It’s the Desire. He doesn’t take sides, and doesn’t want anything to do with any of his parents. To be honest, he wasn’t very involved in his own conception.
But the second one! Kumarbi hurts so much he goes and sees the Goddess of Plants, who gives him an abortive leaf. It hurts super-bad and doesn’t work.
Ea has another idea: he will do the whole religious ritual for a pregnant woman, with a midwife, prayers, etc, and tries to deceive the baby into thinking the pregnancy is a normal one. And it works! He gets out by “the loins”. I don’t know the details. Imagine what you want.
This child is 100% on his father Anu’s side and helps him getting back his throne. Because poor mothers never get their children on their side, especially when they’re male.
(Later, Kumarbi tries to have a child with a mountain to help him too. But I won’t tell this part of the story here. Sleeping with mountains is not queer. Well, not this way :-) )