Reverse "fans ship you with"...starring Kira
As requested by anon. :)
It is time for Kira to let us know what he thinks of his most popular ships! So, Kira, how do you feel about being shipped with…
“No, I get it. People like to see me suffer. They got off on it. Tite Kubo certainly does. So this ship makes perfect sense. You jerks.”
Gin: I love you too, Izuru!
“I-I am very fond of Hinamori! But I really don’t deserve a shot with her, seeing as I attacked her. It’s hard to get past a thing like that.”
Hinamori: So you’re saying I shouldn’t date anyone?
“I feel like Hisagi handled our respective betrayals much better than I did. I’d love to learn his secret. Maybe while licking whipped cream off of his tattoo.”
Hisagi: Say what now?
Kira: I want to learn your secrets?
Hisagi: THE OTHER PART
“Look, I know he means well, but I just don’t think I could date a birdheaded man. My natural reflex in that case is ‘beheading.’”
Rose: Hmmm… 'Reflexive Beheading’ would be a cool song name.
Kira: Also he turns everything I say into song titles.
“…Must I be shipped with all of my captains, past and present?”
Unohana: Yes, Kira, that is the rule.
Kira: W-why are you so on board with that?!
“I first met Renji when he fell out of a tree in front of me. And I believe that if a hot man drops out of the sky, that is destiny.”
Renji: …are you being sarcastic right now?
Kira: Can’t you tell?
Renji: Try matching your expression to your emotions and get back to me.
“Ha ha the despair espada how adorable.”
Nnoitra: I don’t pay attention to people below captain-level.
Kira: That’s okay because I’m not actually interested in you.
Nnoitra: WHY NOT?!
“No, see, I stripped for her platonically. Well, drunkenly, anyway.”
Matsumoto: Aw, Kira, I was just trying to help you with Hisagi!
Matsumoto: While I watched.
“If this has anything to do with us both losing our torsos to a Quincy opponent - fuck you fans so hard.”
Kurotsuchi: Like I would date a man affected by such a trivial injury.
“Guys, come on. I beheaded him. There was beheading. The end of our relationship was head removal. No more head for Abirama.”
Abirama: Yeah, that’s the deal breaker for me too.
Kira: No talking without a head.