kt:set

'Gods of Egypt' - It hasn't be filmed yet, and I'm already disappointed

Now, I’m very aware that there aren’t very many films including Ancient Egypt at all. Even less, in fact, that deal with the actual mythology, and aren’t some ‘new twist’ on a biblical story that paints the Ancient Egyptians as the bad guys because… Moses. 

So I admit that I was excited when I stumbled across the plans to make a Hollywood film based on Egyptian mythology. Great news, right?! 

After a little bit of digging around, I was still cautiously optimistic. The story is set around Egypt and it’s rich mythology: no bible, apparent involvement of the afterlife, the gods, they actually seem to have their descriptions of said gods right (judging by the wiki page)

But when I saw on-set pictures, I think I cried a little.

I mean

What

the fuck

is this supposed to be?

I think I wandered onto the set of some medieval dragon-slaying fantasy film. Not even that. I just….. what the ever-living hell are those guys in the back supposed to have come as? Looks like two guys in a fucked up CBBC-does-medieval-history take on Ironman. 

And lets talk about Set: who is, predictably, the villain of the piece.

I’m sorry, I think I missed the part where Set was a HUMAN-HEADED WHITE DUDE IN GREY PLASTIC ARMOUR WITH CROCODILE TRIM.

Am I the only one who thought there’d be more…. CG involved? I guess there might be…. at the VFX stage of production….. hopefully…. but seeing as they appear to be filming straight off with the actors and no VFX markers on their faces, it seems unlikely. 

And I think they totally missed the point with this. I mean

Screw Gerard Butler - how awesomely terrifying would THIS be in full-colour CGI?

Doing Egyptian mythology without the animal headed gods….. it just isn’t the same. It looses a lot of the magic. The damn film isn’t made yet, I don’t even know the details of whatever shit-pile of a story they’ve come up with, and I’ve already gone from hope, right down to despair. But, to be honest, I don’t know what I expected. 

- _ - 

I’m so very sorry that I had faith in you, Hollywood. Trust me, I take it all back.

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