ok.. sooooo.. i went back to tumblr, huray! buuuut.. i only went back because i got nothing to write on.. literally.. i got no pen in here.. and i can’t save my thought in the notepad cause my bro’s gonna dig up.. *deeeeeep breath*

this is it.. why did i came back? what will i write about? i just want to take my feelings out. i felt nervous, anxious, jealous, and i don’t know what this feeling called but i hope you could tell me. I certainly know this is not insecurity. But, here’s what i have been doing after my phone call with my boyfriend………..

I got curious why his password is 060709.. i know that his birthday is 0307 so i tried looking for answers on my own instead of asking him. and for FYI, we’ve been together since dec172013.. yep, we’re just weeks.. well, we’re nearly a month now.. ok, going back. While looking at the pix in his facebook, i found a pic with him and his ex, with a caption Merckpau007 .. so I counted, jan, feb, mar, apr, may, june, that’s 06–june. ok, he told me that their anniversary was june, (i just forgot about it) but i didn’t know that the date is 07… so now my only question is, what is 09?

i keep looking for something about them.. i found a video that his ex made for him.. and theire joint acct in facebook was already disabled. that is when i felt it.. it’s like there was something in my chest that’s making me hard to breath.. kept wondering why 09.. and then it hits me like an arrow.. that’s their anniversary.. I’M SO STUPID.. but after answering that question, another one pops out.. WHY HASN’T HE CHANGE IT ALREADY?? well he says that they broke up october last yr, and he already moved on that’s why he’s with me, and i can feel, and see that he loves me. but i doubted that he already moved on. others might think that it’s just a password, but, his facebook is still “merckpau….”.. and the phone lock in his phone is their anniversary.. is that really the meaning of “already moved on”?

i hate that i’m doubting him, but i can’t help but doubt.. tsk..