kotor replay replay

10

and so it ends, as I somehow always knew it must: In darkness
  →  Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003), BioWare

SHOW ME A KOTOR 2 MOD THAT KEEPS KREIA FROM ACCUSING ME OF HAVING SEX WITH EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I TALK TO IM FUCKING GAY SHOW ME A KOTOR 2 MOD THAT LETS ME SCREAM AT KREIA THAT IM SICK OF HER HETERO BULLSHIT AND SHE SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT FUCKING SWEET TALKING ASS MAD THICK ASS FUCKING RIPPED ARMS THIGHS FOR DAYS ASS BAO DUR THAN MY GOOD PAL HANDMAIDEN WHO I JUST WANT TO SPAR WITH WITHOUT THE ENTIRE SHIP ACCUSING US OF FUCKING KREIA CAN KISS MY ASS

  • Jedi Council: We have exiled the returned Jedi in a move best for her and the Jedi in general.
  • Kreia: You fucked up a perfectly good Jedi is what you did. Look at her. She's got anxiety

OK BUT for shits and giggles should I make rylthos one of juhani’s descendants????? just the amount of RIDICULOUSNESS and also oh feelings of being failed by the Jedi for being “~dark sided~” n emotionally unstable

ANND double the amount of shenanigans with actually useful force ghost coaching and history lessons if she stayed around on dantooine long enough to see what became of the kotor era jedi turning back into what they were in the swtor era

on an actual serious note though...

I’ve actually been building up a squee-powered rant about how stupidly amazing KotOR II, particularly in terms of the sorts of narratives its characters tell, for… yeah, years.

the one that continually comes back to me, actually, is the relationships between the Exile, Kreia, and Visas. these are three people, three women, whose narratives explicitly involve healing from horrific things that have happened to them and regaining power over their lives from people who seriously fucked them over. the Exile and Visas, in particular, come to much better mental places and understandings of themselves through all their experiences; they functionally become people again.

and there’s absolutely a sense of morality/ethics strewn throughout the entire thing, all these narratives - the reason it doesn’t grate on me, though, is that this is a set of stories about how things are complicated, how the world and the people in it will use you for their own purposes and you need to step back and say no, I am me, and take control of what you are and what you have and become stronger from it. the ultimate good, as I see it, is mutual interdependence and healing.

and on that note - these are not three abled people, either. both Kreia and Visas are blind (in a literal sense), though of course they use the Force to compensate for that. though with Visas there’s the additional complication of Nihilus using that ability she has to mess up her perceptions and her mind in order to use her as an apprentice… which then gets into, Visas is an abuse survivor and has PTSD, and I would certainly argue the Exile does as well (from Malachor V), along with being cut off from her connection to the Force. it’s important, I think, that what happens is not that she just magically gets her Force connection back and everything is cool now, but rather than her Force connection explicitly relies on the strength of her relationships with her companions. (not to mention how much shit the Jedi Council give her for this? she’s accused of being a wound in the Force, sucking the life from them, she’s inherently damaged, yada yada - in the context of her separation from the Force being a disability, that imo is even more not cool than it is on the surface. also I think it’s no accident that the person (Kreia) teaching her how no, this is not the ruin of her life and she’s not a monster, is herself disabled sort of by choice, because she let her eyes atrophy… idk I have feelings about this but I’m not sure how to articulate them without doing another playthrough.)

and I think to conclude this ill-organised ramble, I would like to squee epically about how these are relationships between three women that are deep and amazing and about growth and healing and power, and none of these are “standard relationship mould” interactions. Kreia is teacher, mother, advocate, protector. Visas is friend, needer of support, lover. the natures of these relationships are not things imposed from the outside, but shown entirely organically through your interactions, and not defined by labels. it’s knowing yourself, and your friends, on your own terms; and the society that has failed you all, does not get a say in what you are to each other. there’s no big revelation. only you.

One of my favorite little KOTOR 2 details was switching to playing as Visas, and suddenly FORCE VISION.

Like, you remember, oh yeah. She’s blind. She has no eyes. She sees things through the Force. It’s a power your Exile gets as well, but that I’d never bothered to develop, so I had no idea what it looked like.

It’s just permanently on for Visas, and I thought that was kinda cool.