i started developing a case of decision paralysis when i left the world of academia last year. graduating was great and all, but i had gotten so good at doing school by the time i was done and i really had no idea what i was supposed to do outside of college. (to stereotype) unlike people who graduate with, say, education that become teachers or premed that become doctors, i graduated with business communications and studio art that…
anyways, it sounded romantic at some point. once i graduated, i just had a degree and a bunch of extra time on my hands. i tried out and experienced a lot of things this past year and have a pretty strong sense of what i’d like to do, but i simultaneously question and justify every decision i make. mostly because i am greedy and can’t stand the thought that walking through one open door means closing that many other ones.
faced with decision, i will let you in the world inside my head. now isn’t that special.
i call her jessi when i’m referring to her to someone else. for example, jessi is one of my best friends from childhood. i call her jess when i am speaking to her. for example, happy birthday jess! why? i don’t know. i’m sure there is some type of sociolinguistic explanation for it.
today is her birthday and i can count down the days until i get to see her again on three sets of hands. happy birthday mon cheri! it’s been too long since we’ve celebrated a birthday together.
do we not owe it to ourselves to make the decisions - and mistakes - that we want to, while we have the youth and the means with which to do it? should we force ourselves into a job we dislike or a relationship that doesn’t fit us to fill out some model of adulthood we’re not even sure we want?