knuckles & knuckles

dnd character idea i wanna try:

a priest orc– not a half orc, i mean 100% locally sourced GMO free Buff As Shit Orc that cut off all familial ties to follow their dreams to become apart of a priesthood, to heal others, to become a better person and haul around a bigasse mace called Thoughts & Prayers

it is 7PM. i am playing sonic advance 3. the level opens up with sonic and knuckles getting ready, and sonic starts into a running sprint, leaving knuckles in the dust. “it’s okay,” i say to myself. “knuckles will come back eventually.”

5 minutes into the level, i am getting my ass handed to me by a badnik. “YO KNUCKLES WHERE THE FUCKLES ARE YOU” i scream as i lose all my rings, along with my pride and dignity.

unfortunately though, knuckles has astral projected out of the level, out of the game, because he doesn’t fucking care. he stopped caring at the character selection screen. he stopped caring before i even opened the game. knuckles never cared for me or my well being. what the fuck.

fast forward to the boss level, i’m down to one life, and 0 rings. right before i’m about to get my ass smashed into oblivion by DR eggman, knuckles glides onto the screen.

“lol hey man wyd” he says to me, not noticing that i am about to be fucked in the ass by eggman’s swingy ass hammer.

then as i die, knuckles just stands there, pacing around like a lost child. then he looks at my corpse. “oh sonics dead. that’s okay i guess”

it is then that he glitches out of the game, leaving behind not only myself, but his entire ability to give a fuck.

it is then, that as a ghost, i ask to my self, “what the fuckles, knuckles?”

I’m so sick of drawing dead
I need to get ahead
I can’t get myself out of bed
This is the life I dread.

Let’s sit around and listen to The Devil and God
And talk just like we used to
I never want this song to end
I was never good at endings.