knows how to treat their women

“There are always two little beautiful humans looking at me like I’m the most important thing in the world. They copy everything I do, especially my son. I’m very careful how I treat my wife because I know that’s how he’ll learn to treat women. I call my wife pet names, and my son started calling his sister those same names. Recently I picked flowers for my wife. And the next day he picked flowers for his sister.”

(Moscow, Russia)

6

“It started from my interest in actually discussing this idea: little girls and their fairy tale worlds that get destroyed, when they get to know who men really are. It’s really kind of brutal to be a girl, and then have to deal with actual men whose only interest is sex. Wanting to talk about that, and also about the fragmentation that happens with how women are treated by men — especially beautiful women. How do you negotiate an authentic self as a woman? It’s very difficult. A lot of girls who seem like they might be crazy, or sociopathic, or just stupid, they’re actually trying to negotiate all that and they may not know how. And that’s what drives them insane. So I wanted to make that kind of character: somebody who has never been valued for her brains, for her personality, for anything that she has to offer, but who only really gets valued for her beauty.” - Anna Biller (The Love Witch, 2016)

I’m late but I’m watching don’t hurt yourself rn like wow now we know why Beyonce went out here & tapped one of the most iconic rock musicians to help her cuss her man out. I remember one of my relatives saying that Jack White was singing on Don’t Hurt Yourself like Bey was his sister and he was letting her trifling man know what it was.

I don’t even know how to feel about the whole thing b/c I’m not a proponent of a woman staying w/ a partner that cheats ever. I always figured that Solange was throwing hands b/c Jay cheated & I guess it should have been clear that he had to have been really grimey to her sister to elicit that kind of reaction.

I weirdly expected more from Jay Z even though I sort of always knew he didn’t deserve Beyonce b/c so many men are with women they don’t deserve and treat poorly.

I adored the push party photos and look forward to seeing the new babies pics. I’m not saying I want her home to be broken up but I would not have been mad if Beyonce had left him and went and found a fine young billionaire to have wild thoughts with in pools, okay?

The past 2 weeks have shown me that too many Black men think that making Black women suffer for their lackluster, thin love is a good thing. I think the albums the carters have made r really important & I think they open up vital convos about black love and romance they need to be had.

These albums push the importance of accountability, introspection, living an examined life. I’m hoping it will push Black men to think about how they harm Black women and black LGBT folk who are the only ppl who have their backs in this harsh, racist society. That it will push them to deal with their shit individually & collectively and stop projecting it onto us (i.e. Kodak Black who, as others have noted, hates himself & his Blackness). It’s hella distressing to realize that Black women will walk through fire to help Black men but that so many Black men like to insult and mock us for not meeting their colorist and racist beauty standards.

In an interview Molly Crabapple said smthing like men have gotten women to buy into this idea that our beauty is the most valuable thing about us and that the more beautiful we are, the better they’ll treat us. And we can see that this isn’t true, we can be the most beautiful woman in the world and they will still act a fool.

Jay had the girl everyone wanted and yet he was still running in these streets. Clearly he, and not his wife, was deficient. It shows me that a man’s character is important. If he has no character it doesn’t matter what a woman does he will still mistreat her.

Anyway 4:44 is good, I hope Yonce’s happy with her choice and as always I wonder what it looks like for Black women to have a love that edifies and liberates and that does not demand suffering to keep it.

I honestly can’t put into words how much I appreciate the way the Wonder Woman movie didn’t sexualize a single woman in any scene. Not even the marketing posters I’ve seen have Wonder Woman in any risqué poses. You see women getting sexualized so often in superhero media (a good example is Black Widow in the Marvel movies tbh) but this was like??? oh my god????? every woman was treated like a human being and not eye candy and that’s become so rare for the action genre like I can hardly express how empowering that feels

Women’s Work

There is a story going around the interwebs about a pair of professionals who traded their electronic signatures for a few weeks and about how the male then discovered that the female was treated differently and about how hard women have it in the professional world.

It reveals how much trouble women have being taken seriously as experts. On anything. In reading the comments left on this story, I discovered the same sad narrative in nearly every one. Women, strong, intelligent women, were doubted at every step, on a daily basis, because no one believed they could possibly know what they were talking about.

Reading through these stories I thought, well, at least that doesn’t happen to teachers. As women in a traditionally female field, we are less likely to be immediately doubted when we speak, less likely to be dismissed purely because we are female.

Right?

Until it hit me.

The whole teaching profession is constantly being asked to see its manager. The whole profession is constantly being doubted. The whole profession is seen as being ill-informed. Teachers are never seen as experts. We are regarded as something between babysitters and lazy, spoiled whiners, who just want our summers off.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Teaching is seen, by in large, as a feminine pursuit. And as such, teachers, while well-educated, well-trained, and well-read, are seen as less PROFESSIONAL and worthy of respect than our counterparts in other fields. When people DO praise teachers it is often with the kind of nostalgic affection reserved for things which are cute and sweet, not with the kind of respect given to others in other, more male dominated fields.

Everyone thinks they know what is best for education. Education policy, education critique, education reform: all are dominated by a kind of condescending man-splaining which would be abhorrent and vilified were it not accepted as the status quo.

Watch the video of the president signing his nomination for Betsy DeVos. He says, “Betsy…education, right?” like it could be any little honorarium he is throwing to any billionaire with a checkbook. Because education doesn’t need to be overseen by an expert. It is just women’s work. Put a nice, grandmotherly looking, well-coiffed lady in charge and it’ll be all good.

And when I have spoken out against this (and I have pretty much not stopped doing so for awhile now) people have pointed out to me that you do not need to have been a teacher to run a the Department of Education.

Really? Why? Because the base assumption is that teachers do not really understand big, important things like running a government bureaucracy. Our only purvey is the classroom, which like the home is to be paid respectful lip service, but not to be seen as a venue for real work.

I have had WOMEN, whom I LOVE, say things to me about educators like, “He is trying to run a company and she is worried about pipe cleaner art. Not really the same thing.”

The whole problem with the way our country talks about teachers is that, by in large, we are seen as a group of women, and therefore, the work we do is not seen to be really that challenging. There are whole books and television shows dedicated to the idea that a man, having excelled in another field, can stop by a classroom for a short period, for the purpose of entertainment or self-gratification, and somehow this is okay. No one thinks this about courtrooms or operating theaters.

I wonder why.

(long post, sorry)

In spite of everything I love Harley Quinn but, damn, writers treat her so badly. I swear, the temptation to make her actually stupid must be terrible because it’s so often implied, or explicitly stated, that she slept her way through school. First of all, it does not work like that.  Second, she’s not a therapist or a psychologist, she’s a psychiatrist, she’s a fricking MD and a damn young one too. Managing pre-med and collegiate gymnastics that she relied on to keep her scholarship? Harley is fucked up, but she’s not the dumb blonde she plays. (also stop making her stacked, she’s a gymnast. she is 4’11” of pure muscle and is not top heavy)

If you want a good Harley backstory it’s simple. She’s ADHD but medicated and slightly robotic because of it. I want to take special care not to demonize meds but, rather, people’s disapproval of neurodivergence and a lack of focus on what is best for a patient rather than what is most convenient for others. So, maybe, around ten years old Harley is a hyperactive space cadet who’s brilliant at tests but sloppy at coursework, who would be a gymnastics prodigy if she could actually focus on technique and put in practice time instead of fooling around. Then the meds come and it’s actually really cool because she can do the things she needs to do instead of just wanting to do them, doing something else entirely, and getting in trouble. People are proud of her, she’s proud of herself. But now there are expectations. Family and teachers and coaches overschedule her, find worth only in her success and don’t care about her mental health at all as long as she’s performing and castigate her when she does fail. Fuck if you don’t internalize that. But she doesn’t look unhealthy and she’s doing amazing. She actually has to choose between the Olympic trials and continuing her grad studies. She probably has some issues with self-harm but it either doesn’t look like self-harm or is well covered up. 

When Arkham accepts her, fresh from her residency, it’s not a mistake. The woman is amazing. All they can see is a mountain of achievements rather than the seething ball of nerves, self-loathing, and imposter syndrome boiling just under the surface. That’s when Joker comes in. He’s got the Hannibal Lecter shtick down. Where everyone else sees an intelligent driven young woman he sees a frightened overwhelmed girl who is working her hardest to convince the world she’s anyone other than herself. Sending her into a nervous breakdown would be too easy so he doesn’t even bother. Instead he’s open with her, almost friendly. The other doctors are amazed, Harley is amazed, she’s not done anything particularly revolutionary but, for the first time in forever, it looks like the clown prince of crime is showing progress. He unravels her and it’s a challenge, she flinches back and gets very serious when he comes too close to the real Harley under the professional. Still, soon she’s questioning everything. She doesn’t even really like her co-workers. She hasn’t had a real friend in years. She’s forgotten how to have fun. Did she ever want this to be her life or did she just do it for other people? It starts so slowly that it looks, at first, like she’s getting better at self-care. Maybe something totally silly one weekend, a trampoline park where she can enjoy the way her toned body moves without stressing out over landings, a face painting booth at a street fair, some garishly colored downright tacky decoration that clashes with her sensible apartment. Suddenly she realizes how much she hates knowing the difference between cream and ecru. The beigeness of her life is repulsive. She hates the person she’s pretending to be even more that she hates herself which is really saying something.

After her weekend of freedom she would have called in sick if it wasn’t so suddenly important to see him. The relief she feels at talking to one of Gotham’s most infamous supercriminals is disturbing but it is relief and she’s been swallowing a slow-motion panic attack for hours. She admits, though she shouldn’t, that she took his advice about doing something fun and he teases her, what would straight-laced Doctor Quinzel do for fun? Did she realphabetize her sock drawer or buy a new clipboard? It’s not important to impress him, it’s really not. He’s dangerous, cruel, and he looks so proud when she admits that she bought a lamp shaped like a lawn flamingo. The only mistake, he says, is that she should have stolen it. She hopes the wicked thrill it gives her doesn’t show on her face. It does. She almost even laughs. He likes it when he can make her laugh and she likes it when he likes things.

It’s wrong and unprofessional, the relationship she develops, and she knows it but her whole life she’s been so high strung. Nothing she’s done has been for her, she’s not sure she knows how to really do selfish things anymore, but he knows the selfish things she needs to do. It feels good when she follows his advice even when it’s small things like the rainbow striped socks she wears concealed under her very bland slacks and sensible shoes. She’s so happy, almost giddy, and he loves her happiness, he loves her, he loves the real her that she’s had to beat down and hide for so long, the her that even she isn’t able to love. She is able to love him, though, and since he loves her she’s able to love herself for him, to protect and nurture something so important to him.

When the choice comes between her old self, the tedious endless labor of making the world proud, and Him, the spectacular man that brought color into her life, it’s not even a question. She kills Doctor Harleen Quinzel, she throws away the version of her that let herself burn just for medals and hollow accolades. She embraces Harley Quinn and it’s so much a part of her nature she can’t even see that she’s still living her life for someone else’s approval, except this time that person is a murderous clown. She hasn’t let her hair down, she’s just put it in pigtails instead of a bun.

The Mean Marquis

Lafayette x Reader

Note: So @a-schuylerr made a post about different Lafayette fic scenarios they would like to see and I got inspired. Thank you to @thatoneimaginesblog for being my proofreader and for putting up with me spamming you with my process on this fic. This is my longest fic and I am really excited for you to read it!

Warning: smut and that’s basically it

Word Count: 7,204 ( I expected it to be long just not this long)

Tagged: @hamiltonsquills @mehrmonga @iamgrayfox @rottwat @beckett-faye @justanotherone2u @aph-bermuda @haletotheking24


1772

When your father first announced that you were to marry a French nobleman in just over a month, you felt as if your throat had fallen into your stomach. You were angry and shocked, so angry that you could hardly form a sentence before you stormed off.

That was three days ago, your anger had subsided and left you feeling worried. Worried about the man you were going to be married to. He wasn’t just any old French nobleman he was the Marquis de Lafayette, more affectionately known as the “Mean Marquis”. You’d heard stories about him about his ruthless and cold nature when it came to business. You had also heard about how popular he was with women, and that he was always surrounded by them.

“It’s just not fair!” you yell. You’d walked far enough away from you family’s home that you know you can speak without being heard. “I don’t even know him why should I marry him?” you groan as you sink to your knees.

You take a deep breath as you feel yourself start to panic. How on earth is he going to treat me? You wonder. After everything you’ve heard about him, the best you can hope for is that he will ignore you. He will probably give you a child or two but for the most part, just forget you even exist.

Keep reading

You wanna know what I find real cute?

I find it reeeeaaal cute that all of these aphobic exclusionists (especially the ones that aren’t actually ace themselves, pfsshh) like to spout that, “If you are Ace and are ‘Actually Lgbt+’ then we’re not talking about you, hon. You are Lgbt+ but only for your same gender attraction/non assigned by birth gender identity. The lack of sexual attraction isn’t a true orientation worth protecting. It’s a TMI modifier, you’ll see in time, you experience no real discrimination for being ace. Only for your real Lgbt+ identity! ”, thinking it’s a flawless, righteous thing to say to the “actual Lgbt+” people who are Asexual that they claim to care about and want to protect.

Honestly, not only does that type of answer sound condescending and doesn’t make any of their aphobia hurt less but do you know what it sounds like to me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND LIKE TO ME, A DEMI-PANROMANTIC ASEXUAL WOC?!

IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN WHITE FEMINISTS WHO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY SAY, “WE’RE ALL WOMEN AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING WOMAN SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR FEMINISM YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR WOMANHOOD BEFORE YOUR ETHNICITY AND LEAVE RACE OUT OF IT”, AND JUST LIKE WHEN BLACK MEN WHO CONTRIBUTE TO MISOGYNOIR SAY, WE’RE ALL BLACK AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING BLACK SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR BLACK EQUALITY, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR GENDER AND YOUR FEMINISM AT THE DOOR.” THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK THE WHOLE, “YOUR LBGT+ IDENTITY AND ASEXUAL IDENTITY ARE/HAVE TO BE EXPRESSED SEPARATE(LY)” ARGUMENT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME!

And I’m about to tell you why arguments like that are ignorant and harmful and full of shit, if you’re one not smart enough to put two and two together.

I AM A BLACK WOMAN, A WOMAN WHO IS BLACK. IF I GO INTO A FEMINIST EQUALITY SPACE, MY BLACKNESS DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. IF I GO INTO A BLACK EQUALITY SPACE, MY WOMAN-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!

Similarly…

I AM PANROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL, AN ASEXUAL WHO IS PANROMANTIC. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR LGBT+ ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY ASEXUALITY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR ASEXUAL ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY PANROMANTIC-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!

Holy shit!!! Why is that so hard for so many people to get??? Oh wait, I know why. IT’S BECAUSE QUITE A FEW OF THESE APHOBES AND EXCLUSIONIST ARE NEITHER WOC NOR “REAL LGBT+” ASEXUALS. THEY DON’T HAVE EXPERIENCES BEING TOLD SHIT THAT’S BASICALLY EQUIVALENT TO, “NEGLECT AND LEAVE HALF OF YOUR IDENTITY AT HOME, YOUR EXISTENCE COMPLICATES THINGS AND MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE”. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXIST AS EITHER. HOWEVER, THEY STILL THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY AND TO SPEAK DOWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE BOTH WOC AND ASEXUAL, LIKE ME, TO MAINTAIN AND ENFORCE THEIR OWN VIEWS AND IDEAS OF WHAT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY LOOKS LIKES AND INCLUDES.

Damn ain’t that some shit, huh? In other news, I can’t wait for my point of view to be ignored and to be dismissed as just another “Angry Black Woman™” for bringing to light of how aphobes and exclusionists treat Asexual WOC like trash, regardless of their romantic orientation or gender identity. (Seriously, don’t even get me started on the amount of non-black exclusionists I’ve seen pull the, “Headcanonning Black female characters as Asexual desexualizes/oversexualizes them!!1!” card. They aren’t Black and they don’t know shit about the inner workings of Black politics or how misogynoir affects how Black women are view in relation to sexuality but they still act like they understand all and are helping, get the fuck out of here). So yeah, sorry not sorry for this long ass post but at first I was just tilted and now I’m hot about it. Aphobes and exclusionists are so fucking ignorant and counterproductive. Yikes.

@chloebennet: Dear Gigi Hadid, As a kid, (and frankly as an adult) people would make fun of me for being Chinese. For having “Asian eyes”. I would laugh it off because it was always a “joke”, and if I didn’t I was being “too sensitive”. But in reality it made me feel horrible. Like, just BEING ME was a joke that was not meant to be taken seriously. I was embarrassed of who I was. I dyed my hair blonde to make myself look less Asian just so I could feel “worthy” of the people who made me feel less than. Fortunately, now I know that none of this is true. That my value does not come from how I LOOK, but from my CHARACTER. From how I treat others. It hurts my heart to see someone like you, a beautiful young woman with so much influence, act in this inconsiderate way. This does not make you a bad person or racist, however, it does make you ignorant to the pain that your actions can cause others. No matter how unintentional those actions are. And, even if it was just “a joke”. So…to the young Asian men and women who are used to laughing off others ignorance, even though deep down you are hurting. I HEAR YOU. You are badass. You are awesome. Who you are is not “funny”. YOU determine your self worth. Be proud of who you are. 👊🏽💥–Also, I’m also sorry for how many run on sentences are this letter. 🤓 Love, Chloe

P.S. While I’m at it, Asian men are super sexy. So with all due respect fuck you Steve Harvey. (x)

Where They Kiss You

simple as the title, where your avenger boo kisses you 

Bucky: Thighs. On your first few dates with him, you never pictured Bucky to be a thigh man. You more expected him to be an old fashioned kiss on the hand type, but that all went out the window the first night he slept over. He took what you thought were flaws and made them his favorite things about you. Bucky loves waking you up in the morning by trailing kisses starting at your collarbone and going all the way down to those thighs he loves. You have a small tattoo on your inner left thigh that he always traces over lightly with his fingers, and it drives you absolutely mad. When he’s had a long day of being an avenger, he loves coming home to already find you in bed. Bucky takes this time to climb into the king sized bed and rest his head on your lap, occasionally leaning over from his phone to place a kiss on your thighs and tell you little things about his day.

Steve: Forehead. It started when the two of you finally made your relationship public, and went to a baseball game together. People were around everywhere, most trying to pretend they weren’t staring as you walked to your seats hand in hand, but some were blatantly taking pictures and whispering to their friends. Steve’s grip moved to around your shoulder, and he pulled you closer to him while walking around inside the stadium. Being in the public eye wasn’t something you were used to, and Steve could tell. So instead of giving everyone a show, he sweetly placed his lips on your forehead in hopes of calming you down. After that came many more events where he did the same before you walked out into the public eye, and it stuck as a way for you to calm one another down. Plus it was a way for the two of you to avoid the whole gross PDA thing.

Natasha: Neck. It became a thing of good luck for the both of you whenever she would place a kiss on the left side of your neck before going off on a mission. You weren’t an active agent anymore, but there were times where you would be with Maria in the control room. Natasha had no shame in kissing you in front of whoever she wanted, whether it’s just the team, or on a red carpet for the whole world to see. Sometimes she would just kiss your neck out of the blue to get you flustered and red in the face. Even on game nights with the team she would lean over your lap just to get her lips on your neck before making any bets with the team, and 99% of the time her PDA payed off. Nobody in the public eye knew how much she really suffered from the trainings when she was a kid, and sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night suffering from those memories. But you were there for her, leaving kisses across her jaw and down her neck, bringing her back to reality in your arms.

Thor: Hand. Albeit cliche, he truly loves making you feel like his queen. He was raised to treat women with the utmost respect, because he understood that he wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for them. So when Thor met you, he felt as if he had cracked the code to what life is supposed to be like. Everyone knows about how bubbly he is, but he was even more so after that first look into your eyes at the Shield christmas party. When Thor wakes up in the morning, the first thing he does is bring you closer to his body and kiss your hand. It’s his way of showing how much he loves and respects you, and without being too gross with the affection. But that sure doesn’t mean that he’s afraid to be affectionate.  

Tony: Chest. Tony is all about chest kisses, and he places them with such love and care. He loves leaning into your chest while you are laying on the couch or in bed after a long day of being Tony Stark. You hold his head there, softly running your fingers through his hair and stroking his cheek. He feels his safest with his lips on your chest, even safer than when he’s in the iron suit that is damn near indestructible. It momentarily dispels all negative thoughts from his mind, and leaves him with nothing but pure adoration towards you. He feels like a giant weight is lifted off his shoulders as well. It’s at that point when he turns his head and absentmindedly presses a short, chaste kiss to your skin or the fabric that covers the area.

Peter: Temple. Whether the two of you were tangled up in each other on the couch watching a movie, or silently strolling down the street hand in hand, he always pulled you into a warm hug, and pressed a sweet kiss to your temple. Whenever he was struck with the opportunity, Peter would lightly peck your temple. It helped that you happened to enjoy being kissed there just a little bit more than straight up lip-locking. He wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved and was there for you, and felt that a soft kiss on your forehead or temple was the way to do it. Sometimes you even stretched up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his temple whenever you saw him stressing out over something, especially new mission plans. Him leaving for said missions was a new thing, so it was always a toss up of who was going to be more strung out over the job that day.

Loki: Under-jaw. The two of always spent your down time wrapped up in blankets in bed, doing absolutely nothing aside from basking in each other’s company and body heat in silence. Loki leaned in to you and you leaned into him, becoming utterly obsessed with each other. He looked at you like you were the most exquisite thing in existence and peppered a million light kisses underneath your jaw and along the side of your neck. You always returned the favor by tightly holding him, eventually squeezing him till he was practically out of breath. You would spend all of your nights together exactly like this, much to both of your delight.

Pietro: Shoulder blades. Pietro craved skin to skin contact with you at all times of the day, mostly in the form of a kiss, which couldn’t happen often, much to your disappointment as well as his. So, he stuck to loosely slinging his arm around your shoulders and following you around like a lost puppy while you performed domestic tasks around the compound. Whenever you stopped bumbling about, doing whatever it was that you were doing, Pietro quickly peppered kisses all along your shoulder blades. They spanned everywhere from the shoulders to the nape of your neck.  As long as it didn’t interfere with your task at hand, you indulged him and stood still, eyes fluttering shut in content for a moment until he was inevitably pulled away from you to do important Avengers work. He always made it up to you, however, in the form of much more interesting activities.

Bruce: Nose. Your touch never failed to provide Bruce with much needed affection, and reassurance that you were still around and weren’t ever going to leave him. You always stuck around, glued to his side while he moved about his lab. He tried on multiple occasions to explain what he does in the simplest way possible to you. Most of the time, you just looked at him and smiled, which Bruce knew as your nice way of telling him to stop wasting his breath because you weren’t going to understand any time soon. He softly chuckled every time, quietly sighed with a light smile on his face, pulled your face close to his and pressed a soft kiss on your nose. This gentle of a kiss reminded him that he’s still just Bruce, and not the other guy.

Scott: Cheek. Scott woke up significantly earlier than you did every morning, but never failed to give you a sloppy good morning kiss on the cheek before he rolled begrudgingly out of bed. They always woke you up though, which you didn’t mind. You always pulled a sleepy smile anyway, and rolled over to his side of the bed and basked in the hot spot of sheets he left behind, instantly falling back asleep. You were awakened again about a half an hour later to another, less sloppy kiss on the cheek and a goofy smile from Scott before he left for whatever job he had acquired from his friends. He whispered a promise to you about taking you out to dinner that night, an offer you accepted, before hurrying out of the room and out of the apartment.  

few things are more obnoxious than a man deriding women as a class for being obsessed w how we look or for how long it takes us to get ready or for how much shopping women do etc etc and taking some smugly superior tone abt how men don’t do that shit

like fuck you!! maybe if you being treated as a person was conditional on how you looked, you too might feel compelled to look as palatable as possible, wouldn’t u!

stop treating the problem as a natural feature of our silly frillsome lady-brains and maybe notice the cultural context. we don’t need to be condescendingly reassured that none of this really matters, we need u and ur guy pals to stop making it matter

One of the worst parts of Project Runway, in my opinion, is when they work with “plus size” models (even ones who aren’t actually that big- say, size 8 or so) and complain about how the model’s bodies are so awful, problematic, and inconvenient for them.

Sorry to have to tell you this, but if you only know how to dress for one very specific, and quite frankly rare, type of body, you suck at fashion design.

There are millions of types of bodies out there. If you want to design clothes, you should be able to design for a variety of people, not just extra-skinny, super tall women with no boobs. 

Short women, fat women, curvy women, big busted women, women of unique or uneven proportions, women of all shapes and sizes, deserve to feel attractive too. They deserve nice clothes too.

And if you can’t figure out how to design for someone who isn’t a model, the problem isn’t her body. It’s you.

Sewing is not an easy thing and I have to give props to people who can. I understand it’s a challenge and I do think it takes a lot of skill and talent to do what these people do.

But you know what? Hard or not, they could learn how to design for bigger bodies if they wanted. They have the skill, the time, the money. Instead, they just attack women for their bodies and make people feel bad for their size.

Most of these people have had training. They’ve had time to practice, to work with different kinds of women, to style different types of bodies. Many just flat-out refuse. Fashion designers need to be held accountable for that; they need to know how what they are doing hurts people, how it affects people, how it makes women feel and what it makes them do to their bodies. The pressure to change your body to fit your clothes is huge, but it’s really your clothes that should fit your body. Designers really don’t get that, and that’s a problem.

Listen. Plus-sized women, fat women, curvy women… they aren’t inferior. They aren’t flawed or broken or lesser than thin women. They aren’t “wrong bodied” or “problem sized.” They’re just normal people and they don’t deserve to be treated like issues just because they don’t look like a dress form. So instead of complaining that it’s “too hard” to work with a fatter model, how about you actually fucking try? And if you can’t do it, you don’t deserve to be on Project Runway. 

-Mod Bella

anonymous asked:

Have you seen the bold type do you recommend it?

*steps up on soap box* ahem

Why I recommend The Bold Type

I know that a bunch of people have written posts like this, but here’s my iteration, which comes from a place of: 1. Love, 2. being the exact target audience, and 3. watching too many TV shows that don’t give me what I want. The Bold Type, as it turns out, is all about going after what you want. It is about rejecting the societal standard that tells women to become meek in the workplace and, instead, use that standard as a bar over which you can raise yourself and become even better. The Bold Type is along the same vein as the short-lived MTV show Sweet/Vicious— feminism for women, to entertain women, to show women in lights that we are interested in seeing. I think that the success of this show could cause a boom of similar shows— sleek, modern, female-centric. Watching The Bold Type isn’t just about The Bold Type. It’s about supporting the content that we want to see.

There are three main characters— Jane, Kat, and Sutton. All are best friends. All are in different places in their careers. All are successful in their own right. And all work at the fabled Scarlet Magazine, a magazine written by women for women to be their saucy older sister, guiding them through life. Instead of 50 Ways To Please Your Man, it’s 50 Ways To Please Yourself. Instead of Lipsmackers That Will Stay On While You’re Lipsmacking it’s Lipsmackers That Will Stay On While You Take On The World. Their boss, Jacqueline (we’ll get to her later; she’s my favorite character) refers to this as “self-feminism.” Other people are important, absolutely, but make sure you’re taking care of yourself and your needs too when it comes to work, relationships, and sex. Scarlet Magazine is about real women who are motivated, who are struggling, who are successful, who are scared, who are human. It’s a publication that I, personally, would love to read.

Jane works for the writing department. She is a young writer who is thirsty to prove herself, but is also conscious of the fact that she’s low on the totem pole. The pilot begins on her first day as a writer, when you find out that Jane is a smart, capable, confident young woman who was raised on Scarlet Magazine. This is her dream job. She’s organized, thoughtful, and resilient. Although she tends to complain about her assignments, she always comes through and makes them her own.

Kat works in social media— in fact, she’s the head of her department. She tends to see the world through the lens of her camera even when she isn’t working. Kat, by nature of her position, is always on-call. She sees what is beautiful about the world and what is beautiful about people. She also knows, with great clarity, what is important to her, and always fights for these issues— perhaps a little relentlessly. Kat excels at her job, but she doesn’t excel at relationships. She likes “casual,” preferring to have flings. When she meets Adena, a beautiful Muslim lesbian, her idea of relationships and her sexual identity goes out the window. I am looking forward to seeing Kat and Adena’s relationship evolve just as any ol’ heterosexual relationship on television would— full of ups and downs, but also full of love, sex, and moments that just make you hold your breath. Luckily, these two ladies already serving a full course meal.

Sutton is the final female in our group of girls. Undoubtedly the lowest of the three girls on the corporate ladder, Sutton’s reason for that is simple: she didn’t have the socioeconomic privilege that Kat and Jane had been lucky to have, and got off to a more disadvantaged start. Sutton had fought her way to her position tooth-and-nail. And, better yet, she’s damn good at her job. Sutton is the most tenacious character on the show. She’s spent years fighting for herself, and she isn’t about to stop now. The romantic plot-line revolving around Sutton involves her dating a superior in the company, which is normally a story arc that might make me cringe, but Sutton is 25 and Richard is probably in his late-20s, early-30s. There’s lots of respect between the two of them, and their relationship isn’t a conflict of interest because Richard works for the legal department for the company that owns Scarlet. This relationship is adorable, sexy, and Sutton absolutely holds the power in it, meaning that we, as audience members, can root for these two.

The Bold Type shows female friendships exactly the way I know them to be. They love and support each other. They overshare. They talk over each other. They play and tease. They make cultural references in a speedy fashion that temporarily makes you think you’re watching Gilmore Girls. They get selfish. They apologize for being selfish. They fight and make up. They change the direction of their conversations constantly, flashing from topic to topic like strobe lights, showcasing how incredible women are at multi-tasking. It’s the dream female friendship that all of us are desperate for on TV, and no romantic sub-plot is going to tear that down. It’s like Friends without the guys, and as much as I love Chandler, with a show like The Bold Type, I think we can live without him.

Perhaps the best character on The Bold Type is the girls’ boss, Jacqueline. She is the head of Scarlet Magazine; the leader who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. As fearless as she is, she is not to be feared. Jacqueline may be respected, admired, and adhered to by her staff, but if you’re looking for Miranda Priestly, you won’t find her here. Jacqueline cares about facilitating the careers of her employees. She rules her disciples with a firm but fair hand, often giving them more than they deserve. Life is hard, especially for women in the corporate world, and Jacqueline understands that. Her character’s scenes are always an absolute treat— the ones I look forward to the most when I sit down on the couch to watch The Bold Type with a glass of red wine and a feeling of safety on the side. Because I, as a viewer, have learned in just a few episodes (five, to be exact) that these writers are ones that I can trust. They’re speaking using my voice, the voice of my friends, the voice of my peers, the voice of my generation.

Turning your television on to The Bold Type means hearing women discussing issues that are relevant to you. It means being inspired by their tenacity and individual power. It means enjoying an episode full of sumptuous fashion, invigorating music, and a bustling city life. The Bold Type is a show that you can turn on and see yourself reflected in your TV screen— whether it’s your sexual identity, your racial identity, or the personality traits that make you who you are. It’s not that The Bold Type never utilizes tropes, cliches, or predictability. It’s that they do it differently, they do it better, they do it while conscious of what it is and what their show is.  

The Bold Type doesn’t necessarily preach that you a required to live your life boldly. The lesson to learn here is much simpler than that: live. Simply go out and live your life, get what you want, make yourself happy. Stay safe, stay kind, stay supportive, stay healthy, stay loving each other. Perhaps Jacqueline describes this mentality best in her speech in the pilot episode of the show. She says, “I expect you to have adventures. I expect you to fall in love. To get your hearts broken. I expect you to have sex with the wrong people; have sex with the right people. To make mistakes and make amends, take a leap and make a splash. And I expect you to unleash holy hell on anybody who tries to hold you back.”

So you heard her. Let’s go unleash holy hell, ladies.

The thing is that even when Mickey says things like “you’re just a warm mouth to me.” He still respects Ian, I mean look at the way he acted whenever men treated Ian like a hunk of meat, a sex object. He didn’t want that, he valued Ian as a human being. Look at the way he acted when Mandy was getting beat on, he stood up for women and how they shouldn’t be hit on any occasion, and him beating a man for hurting one of his girls. He respects people, even if he doesn’t know how to show it, he’s a good man. Terry Milkovich could never even be half the man Mickey is. He’s a good person whether he knows it or not.

I wonder if the supergirl writers know exactly how much we hate mon-el… because i would totally lexa-kick him off my giant candle tower if i could. And it’s not even his “relationship” with kara that bugs me… his attitude to treating women correctly, to not be a nuisance in life, to not being rude and calling someone his kryptonite… just everything. You cannot have possibly paired the girl of steel with a fuckboy. What kind of backwards feminism is this shit???

Secret Relationship- Derek Hale

Request: ‘Can you do a Derek imagine where you are Derek’s girlfriend and the pack finds your instagram and it has pictures of you two on it doing cute things and Derek is smiling and they confront him and they find them sleeping together? (Actually sleeping) Thanks!’

prompt: you confront Derek about him wanting to keep your relationship a secret from your friends, which leads to a few confessions. Meanwhile your friends found your also secret Instagram account.

pairing: derek x fem!reader

A/N: I’m obviously back from the dead. Please don’t hate me for my absence

Masterlist

Originally posted by hobrien


You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend and truned away from him. You were in the middle of another one of your arguments. Derek and you had been together for almost half a year now and yet none of your friends were ‘allowed’ to know about it.

Derek thought it as inappropriate to share his relationship will Scott’s whole pack, which, unfortunately, were your closest friends. You just wanted to tell your best friends how happy your boyfriend made you and how happy you had become in general but Derek wanted it to be a secret.

Tears had welled up in your eyes as soon as the argument had started, but you were the one who had started it in the first place. You just were hurt by him not wanting others to know about you.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, in one of your posts, you mentioned that Tim Drake can be kind of sexist. I'm not disagreeing with you, but do you have some examples of this? I'm trying to read up on his character and differentiating fanon from canon characterizations can be difficult and you seem to know what you're talking about.

Perhaps instead of “sexist” what I meant to say is “has a history of disrespecting women”. I have some panels that serve as additional examples under the cut, but how he treats the girls he dates is far more telling. Because, and there’s no easy way to say this…

Tim was kind of a fuckboy?

Allow me to explain. For a start, when he was Robin, he dated a girl called Ariana. This is him making kitchen jokes to her.

But most importantly, he also kissed Stephanie while he was dating her. Not only did Steph have no idea Tim had a girlfriend and get immediately brushed off after this (class act), but he never actually confessed the event to Ariana either.

Which you think is something that he would do, considering how pissy he got when Ariana “cheated” on him.

You might be wondering why I put that in quotations. Well, the thing is that referring to what Ariana did as cheating is… well. Wrong.

Tim stood her up and the guy offered to go ice skating with her instead to cheer her up. If you ask me kissing another girl is a WAY bigger betrayal, but Tim didn’t give a fuck. Whether it’s something he did in the heat of the moment or not (wonder how many girls have heard that excuse), you’d think he would at least admit to kissing another girl while the truths were being made known.

Meanwhile the guilt of going skating together clearly tore Glenn and Ariana up, and they came clean (or tried to).

Oh, and then he kissed Stephanie again, immediately after a date with Ariana, who he couldn’t wait to leave for another girl.

Five minutes later:

I wonder if Steph would have been so agreeable if she’d known Tim had a girlfriend this whole time. But anyway, Tim then tried to break up with Ariana via a letter.

He’s then spared from having to take any responsibility because Ariana, rightfully so, breaks up with him. She then stays his friend because, again, Tim never confessed his physical or emotional betrayals.

Not that he did much better with Stephanie, who he’s treated badly for over a decade.

Keep reading

B99 Jealousy Headcanons

Shoutout to @sergeant-santiago for helping me out and to @iwantyoutochooseme for offering moral support. Love ya ladies!

Here are headcanons for the b99 characters getting jealous over people flirting with their significant others.

Jake Peralta:
• First of all, Jake is no Ross Gellar. He completely trusts Amy and knows that women aren’t sex machines and won’t just hop on any dick that shows them interest (*cough* They weren’t really on a break *cough*)
• Nevertheless, his blood boils whenever he sees a man undressing Amy with his eyes. That is NOT how you treat women!
• He knows Amy’s tough. She knows self defense and doesn’t need protection if a guy gets physical with her. Amy will put any guy in a headlock just like THAT if he makes a wrong move.
• Once Amy get’s the douchebag in a headlock she holds him still while Jake proceeds to lecture him about treating women with respect.
• After the lecture, Jake whips out his police badge and threatens to arrest him if he causes trouble again. He notifies the bartender to keep an eye on that man if he comes back so he won’t harass other women.
• If a man offers to buy Amy a drink, Jake becomes an over-the-top cocky cop. He flashes the badge and says “Did you know it’s illegal to flirt with a cop’s girlfriend? I could arrest you right now. Okay maybe that’s not true, but still, stop it.”
• Amy loves how cute Jake gets when he’s jealous. He doesn’t get angry, he doesn’t blame her for what she’s wearing, he doesn’t get controlling. He gives her space to handle it herself and steps in when he needs to.

Amy Santiago:
• Amy trusts Jake. She knows he only has eyes for her. She’s the only girl he ever sees. She finds it amusing when other girls flirt with him because of how freaking clueless he is.
• Whenever a girl offers to buy him a drink, he never sees it as flirting. He’s so oblivious. He always replies, “Actually, do you have any $1 bills for the vending machine?” or “No need for drinks, I need some quarters to refill the parking meter.” Amy chuckles and rolls her eyes at how adorable he is.
• If a girl can’t take the hint that Jake isn’t interested, Amy steps in. “Hi, I’m Amy. His girlfriend.” and shoots the girl a glare so intense that even Rosa would shiver (not really but you get the point) the girl backs off and Jake’s all “Wow she was really nice, she wanted to buy me a drink. You think I should’ve asked her to pay for my mozzarella sticks?”
• Amy facepalms. “Babe, she was flirting with you!” Jake’s eyes widen. “Ohhhhh, that makes more sense.” Amy pats him on his arm and kisses his cheek.

Rosa Diaz:
• You try to flirt with Gina? Ohhh boy. Ohhhhh booooyyyyyy. Don’t you dare. If you want to live to see tomorrow, don’t even look at her.
• It’s not that Rosa doesn’t trust Gina. She trusts Gina enough to tell her her address. Rosa’s just overprotective over the people she loves.
• Rosa’s keen on protecting her fellow women in general. Before Amy dated Jake and went on blind dates or met guys off Tinder, Rosa would secretly spy on them a few tables down. She was afraid the guy would be a creep or weirdo and slip a roofie in her drink. Rosa did that with all of her female friends. She doesn’t show it but she cares a lot about them.
• In fact, even when Rosa’s at a bar just chilling, her eagle eyes scan the crowd looking to see if any woman needs her help, if any guy is making unwanted advances to her.
• Anyways back to Gina. Flirt with her, you immediately get an angry Rosa grabbing you by the shoulders. “She’s not into you. Leave her alone.” That drives people away quick!
• Gina loves Jealous Rosa. Rosa’s so hot when she’s jealous. Well, she’s always hot, but you get the point.
• Gina loves teasing Rosa about how jealous she gets. “It’s not my fault that I’m desirable! I’m the best thing since sliced bread!” Then Gina tries to reassure her. “Gina Linetti is a lot of things. Smart, beautiful, amazing. Most of all, she’s loyal. I finally found a lifelong mate. Someone who’s as perfect as me. I’m not throwing you away for some peasant m.”
• That ends in Rosa and Gina running off to the nearest motel to go smoosh booties.

Gina Linetti:
• Okay first of all, Gina Linetti doesn’t get jealous. She gets “snarky”
• You think you’re good enough for Rosa Diaz? Your broke ass has the AUDACITY to flirt with her? Gina will DESTROY you!
• She’ll roast you. Not a light, marshmallows at the campfire roasts. A FLAMETHROWER roast. Straight up ARSON!
• “Who did your hair? Stevie Wonder?”
• “This ain’t the 90’s, chokers aren’t cool anyone. The only use for that is choking yourself.”
• “Did you steal that outfit from a referee?”
• “You’re so hairy that bigfoot tries to prove your existence!”
• You run away crying to your mommy. Rosa asks Gina “Was that really necessary?” Gina shrugs, “You’re my boo thang. Nobody gets to look at you like a hot piece of meat on a grill except me!” Once again, they run off a motel to smoosh booties.

Terry Jeffords:
• Like Jake, Terry respects women. He knows Sharon’s equipped with pepper spray and a pocket knife and can take care of herself. But he can’t help getting angry when people look at his wife like she’s a piece of meat.
• Anyone stares at Sharon, he shoots them a glare. If that doesn’t work, he flexes. To show the man exactly what he’s messing with. That usually gets him to back off.
• Sharon rolls her eyes whenever Terry tries to scare off them but she lowkey likes that he cares so much about her.
• Ohoooo but just WAIT until boys start flirting with Cagney or Lacy. They gonna have the scariest father-in-law ever!

Charles Boyle:
• Okay we’ve all seen how jealous Charles gets over Jake. It’s no different with Genevieve.
• He gets these sad puppy-dog eyes and Genevieve has to constantly reassure him that she only has eyes for him.
• She kisses him all over his face and he kisses back which leads to nasty stuff that only a Boyle would be turned on by

Captain Holt:
• Captain Holt don’t feel much emotion. He’s really straightforward.
• A woman flirts with Kevin? Holt flatly informs her “He is gay and my husband. You’re embarrassing yourself.”
• If a man flirts with Kevin, Holt simply says, “Can’t you tell he’s married by the ring on his finger? You have terrible tactical skills.”
• Same goes for Kevin when someone flirts with Holt
• It ends with them chuckling over how they’re both studs that get all the men and women that they want.
• Then they bone

Cheddar:
• Cheddar growls at the guests whenever he sees anyone standing near Holt or Kevin
• He doesn’t want anyone near his daddies. He demands constant bellyrubs from them
• Cheddar grows attached to Jake cuz Jake for some reason always smells like steak. He won’t let Amy go near Jake because he wants Jake all to himself.
• Gina always gives the best belly rubs. Cheddar always growls any one else who comes near her.
• Yes, I did include Cheddar in this. He’s just as important to the show as everyone else. Deal with it.

Five Times Spencer Reid Got Relationship Advice, and the One Time He Didn’t Need It (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Request done for @redrookrising who wanted “an imagine about Spencer going around to different members of the BAU, asking them how to ask the reader out” Unbeta’d! Hopefully you guys enjoy it! 



“Rossi, can I ask you something?” Spencer said leaning on the doorway of Rossi’s office.

“Come in. Sit.” Rossi said, putting the files down.

“So, you know Y/N, the new girl in IA? The one Kevin brought over last week?”

“Ah, yes. She’s a pretty one.” Dave said, recalling with a smile.

“I know it’s frowned upon by the bureau, but I thought since you didn’t say anything when Garcia and Kevin were together that I’d ask you if you had any advice as to how I should ask her out.”

“You come to me in a time of need,” Rossi said jovially. “Just be yourself. But if it helps, in my time, I’ve learned that women like to be treated. A little wine and dine never hurt. Or if you want to really seal the deal…”

“I do.” Spencer said, surely. He couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N.

“Then take her to the city of love.” He clocked Spencer’s taken aback look, “Kid, I’m telling you, just grab a couple of plane tickets and take her to Paris. Works every time. No one does romance like the French.” Rossi reasoned. Spencer shouldn’t have expected anything less, Dave was known for extravagance. Spencer knew that it wouldn’t work, not that Y/N wasn’t worth it. Flashy just didn’t fit her style.

“I’ll consider it,” Spencer lied. “Thanks, Rossi.”

Keep reading