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anonymous asked:

I would love more howling commando hijinks!

oh, how to pick just one…

well, here’s a story about a plane. one steve did not actually jump out of. 

a rare tale indeed. 

if youve ever been in the military–any branch, really–you’d know that everyone in every branch thinks their branch is best. this is not a new thing, and it was certainly going strong during wwii. mostly it just meant that if a bunch of marines wandered into an army bar there would be a fight, but honestly it was all in good fun, just a way to blow off steam. 

so of course there was a friendly rivalry between us howlies and the pilots we hung around with. most of the pilots and crews we knew were transport guys, not bombers, but we got around more than most units and wound up spending a few weeks stationed near the 97th bombardment group. the 97th was made of b-17s, these huge bomber planes called flying fortresses–and they earned the name, those birds were basically the tanks of the sky. they ran a 10 man crew, and we got friendly with the spectacular idiots of the Pistol Packin Mama. as you can tell from the name of their plane, the were exactly the kind of guys who would get along with a group of people called the Howling Commandoes. 

but rivalries being what they were, pranks happened. 

the pistol packers fired the opening salvo. merrifield, Mama’s copilot, was probably the mastermind behind it; he was a good tempered guy who never passed on a pun. which was why for the first prank, the pistol packers stole all our underwear. haha, commandoes. 

such an affront could not stand. we put shoe polish on the rims of their headsets, and they came off mission with black rings on the sides of their faces. they hid dead fish in our barracks. we salted their coffees. 

the usual nonsense. 

but then we came back one night to discover that every one of our footlockers had been painted with ‘EAT IT.’ 

and that, my friends, sparked a whole new wave of stupidity.

morita was the genius behind our retaliation. during wwii, VD was a major concern, and condoms were widely available for any soldier who wanted or needed them. each of us went separately and got as many as we could get our hands on. steve’s face was red enough he couldve been used to flag down a plane.  the quartermasters probably thought us howlies were about to host the biggest orgy camp had ever seen, but by the time each of us had contributed to the stash, we had some 300-odd condoms. 

so that night we went and broke into the airfield. we were highly skilled troops, it wasnt that hard. gabe mumbled something about using our skills for evil, but soon enough we had found the Pistol Packin Mama, all glorious 104 feet of her. 

she’d taken a few hits  on their last run, and was awaiting maintenance before she went up again. luckily for us, the repair crews were a little swamped, and it would be a few days before they got to her. so we climbed aboard and set to work. 

anything we could fit a condom over got wrapped. joysticks, armrests, controls–all of it got covered in latex. the remaining 250 condoms we inflated. theres nothing more manly than a bunch of soldiers sitting around in a bomber blowing up condoms. and after about four hours of macho dick balloon making, we were near ready pass out from lack of oxygen. but we’d also managed to about half-fill the Mama with condom balloons. 

our work done, we sneaked back to the barracks and fell asleep. 

as i understand it, merrifeld realized he’d forgotten a lucky picture of his girl inside the Mama, and went back to pick it up. he opened the hatch and a rain of condoms descended on him, which attracted attention from pretty much everyone else nearby. the pistol packers got crap about it from everyone for weeks. eventually, they came to us and declared truce. as a gesture of good faith, steve offered to do some nose art for them. 

so steve painted the Pistol Packin Mama. and how a man who cant ask for condoms without his face turning the color of a stoplight can paint a larger than life half naked lady on a plane calm as you like, i will never understand. 

The Demonic Hierarchy by Diabolus Est Nuntius

THE HIGHER ECHELON

SATAN ~ Power, Knowledge, Mastery, Control, Command, Lust, Wisdom, Occult Adepthood. 

LILITH ~ Sorcery, Infertility, Lust, Feminine Power, Incubi, Succubi, Sexual Power. 

ABADDON ~ Destruction, Death, Perversion, Fetishism, Torture, Pain. 

BEELZEBOUL ~ Protection, Bravery, Authority, Power, Position, Possession, Influence Over Others, Prosperity. 

ASMODEUS ~ Lust, Desire, Love, Possession, Seduction, Excess, Debauchery, Adultery, Passion. 

LUCIFUGE ~ Money, Wealth, Promotion, Command, Employment, Attainment. 

BELPHEGOR ~ Beauty, Attraction, Love, Success, Science, Invention, Sloth, Creativity. 

UNSERE ~ Healing, Fertility, Childbirth, Vanquishing Malady, Knowledge. 

AGALIAREPT ~ Initiation, Knowledge, Hidden Wisdom, Occult Knowledge, Gateways, Guidance, Revelation. 

TAROON ~ Lust, Love, Desire, Seduction, Wrath. 

LUITHIAN ~ Knowledge, Study, Learning, Wisdom, Intellect. 

RASHOON ~ Love, Alliance, Seduction, Enchantment. 

VERRINE ~ Healing, Health, Impatience, Medicince. 

ASHTAROT ~ Lust, Love, Relationships, Friendships, Psychogones, Egregores, Homunculi, Desire. 

VERRIER ~ Healing, Herbalism, Health, Disobedience, Vanquishing Plague. 

ASAFOETIDA ~ Feminine Sexuality, Seducing Men, Beauty, Seduction, Fornication. 

BEHEMOTH ~ Greed, Avarice, Gluttony, Luxury, Pleasure, Sloth, Sin, Debauchery. 

SONNELLION ~ Hatred, Discord, Conflict, Arguments, Separating Lovers, Chaos. BAAL ~ Power, Authority, Wisdom, Occult Knowledge, Sin. 

TEZRIAN ~ War, Discord, Conflict, Arguments. MAMMON ~ Money, Greed, Avarice, Profit, Wealth, Commerce. ROSIER ~ Love, Relationships, Reconciliation, Harmony. 

BAALBERITH ~ Knowledge, Pacts, Alliances, Blasphemy. 

SATANACHIA ~ Magickal Protection, Revenge, War, Weapons, Bravery, Fortification. 

MEPHISTO ~ Death, Pacts, Desire, Knowledge, Possession, Revenge, Manifesting Desires. 

DELIPITORAE ~ Magickal Grimoires, Literature, Writing, Hidden Texts, Scribes. 

FLEREOUS ~ Victory, Power, Command, Retribution, Justice. 

SVENGALI ~ Vengeance, Revenge, Destruction, Deceit, Retribution, Malice, Wrath. AMMON ~ Longevity Of Life, Health, Strength, Fortitude. 

MUSISIN ~ Commanding Those In Authority, Binds Alliances, Sustains Partnerships, Influence Over Others. 

HUICTIIGARA ~ Sleep, Insomnia, Dreams, Dream Prophecy, Nightmares. 

KHIL ~ Earthquakes, Astral Chaos, Storms, Destruction. 

FRIMOST ~ Seducing Women, Infidelity, Lust, Wanton Desire, Debauchery, Sin. 

BECHARD ~ Stroms, Winds, Weather, Lightning, Astral Storms. 

CLISTHERT ~ Illusions, Apparitions, Insanity, Madness, Paranoia, Obsession. 

CLAUNECK ~ Riches, Wealth, Prosperity, Success, Attainment. 

BUCON ~ Hatred, Discord, Separation, Misery, Nightmares, Loss, Ruin. 

MORAIL ~ Invisibility, Astral Projection, Illusion, Apparitions. 

HIEPACTH ~ Reconciliation, Binding Friendships, Love, Allegiance, Partnerships. 

HUMOTS ~ Reveals Lost Books, Remote Viewing, Lost Texts, Hidden Secrets, Revelation. 

GULAND ~ Inflicting Disease, Causing Plague, Inducing Illnesses. 

MERSILDE ~ Astral Travel, Astral Projection, Remote Viewing, Seership, Scrying, Cartomancy. 

SEGAL ~ Apparitions, Hauntings, Possession, Paranormal Phenomena, Egregores. 

SURGAT ~ Entrance To Forbidden Places, Remote Viewing, Seership, Divination. 

SIRCHADE ~ Power Over Animals, Communing With Animals, Earth Magick, Divination, Nature. 

FRUCISSIERE ~ Necromancy, Mediumship, Scrying, Necrophilia, Death. 

FRUTIMIERE ~ Happiness, Festivals, Celebrations, Victory. 

THE LOWER ECHELON

 ALASTOR ~ Death, Bloodshed, Destruction, Torture, Perversion. 

ANSITIF ~ Possession, Sin, Debauchery, Infidelity, Wanton Desire. 

ARIOCH ~ Revenge, Justice, Retribution, Punishment. 

BAALZEPHON ~ Protection, Security, Servitors, Guardians. 

LEONARD ~ Sorcery, Black Magick, Occultism, Voodoo. 

MASTEMA ~ Mergings, Pacts, Succubi, Incubi, Servitors. 

MERIHIM ~ Pestilence, Plague, Malady, Bacteria, Disease. NAAMAH ~ Seduction, Fornication, Fertility, Lust, Seducing Men. 

RIMMON ~ Healing, Health, Science, Medicine, Knowledge. 

VERDELET ~ Ritual Magick, Ceremonies, Compromise, Influence. 

ARPHAXAT ~ Possession, Sin, Decadence, Debauchery, Blasphemy, Hatred. 

BALTAZO ~ Possession, Magickal Attack, Insanity, Paranormal Phenomena. 

CAMBIONS ~ Incubi, Succubi, Homunculus, Magickal Children, Psychogones. 

OLIVIER~ War, Destruction, Conflict, Discord, Battlefields, Chaos. SUCCORBEMOTH ~ Jealousy, Envy, Egotism, Vanity, Selfishness. 

SHABIRI ~ Blindness, Deafness, Inlicting Wounds, Infection. 

MULLIN ~ Sorcery, Spellcraft, Magick, Hexing, Cursing. 

EISETH ~ Lust, Prostitution, Adultery, Fornication, Fascination. 

AGRAT ~ Lust, Seduction, Whores, Depravity, Fetishism. 

CARNIVEAN ~ Sin, Obsenity, Lust, Degredation. Wrath. 

ABYZOU ~ Miscarriage, Infertility, Psychic Attack, Vampirism, Hauntings, Possession. 

MULCIBER ~ Engineering, Architecture, Knowledge, Warfare. 

SCIRLIN ~ Divination, Seership, Infernal Messages, Scrying. 

XAPHAN ~ Fire, Burning, Fire Elementals. 

PRUFLES ~ Discord, Arguments, Dividing Lovers, War, Poverty. 

PICCOLUS ~ Mediumship, Sacrifices, Seership, Servitors. UKOBACH ~ Fire, Pyromancy, Destruction By Fire, Immunity To Burning. 

MOLOCH ~ Manifest Desires, Revealing Secrets, Portals, Entrance To Other Realms. 

RIBESAL ~ Illusions, Anger, Rage, Wrath, Phenomena. 

ABALAM ~ Seduction, Possession, Debauchery, Destruction. 

BALTHAZAR ~ Misery, Discord, Luna Bonnie, Command, Evil.

“You state that I have misinterpreted my results, and it looks as though you believe my views to be unsound. Your arguments are those of an eminent scholar. I was myself a fair scholar. For years I pondered, so to speak, day and night over books, and filled my head with sound views – very sound ones, indeed – those of others. But I could not get to practical results. I then began to work and think independently. Gradually my views became unsound, but they conducted me to some sound results.”

–Nikola Tesla

“Mr. Tesla On Sound Views.” Electrical Review, London, November 21, 1890.

@katesattic you said you wanted some fluff? I’m going to dump all the fluffy/funny headcanons I never said because I thought it would ruin my reputation as a heartless angst writer. I’m probably going to die after this and the cause of death will be a toothache. Ugh. I feel so unclean.

  • Virgil has a Jack Skellington plush doll
  • Patton has been using the adultery thing as the ultimate ongoing dad joke
  • When Logan explained to Morality how babies are made he used a whiteboard and a laser pointer
  • Roman sings off key on purpose and makes stupid rabbit faces and does other not elegant things when he is completely alone
  • Whenever Thomas sneezes all the sides lose their balance for a second. Patton and Logic have fallen over several times.
  • Logic has thrown all of his flashcards into the air in dramatic frustration at least once. Probably ten times.
  • Whenever Thomas has a craving for something Patton does something absurd to try and get it. Sometimes he sings about it really loud. He has written many terrible songs about pizza.
  • Roman has used the power of the mind to walk on the ceiling at least once. Probably to make Logan frustrated because walking on walls makes no sense.
  • Yeah Princey has played superhero so many times
  • Sometimes Anxiety shows up and nobody knows why he’s there and he just stands creepily in the corner like some kind of omen. This was part of the reason they were all so scared of him in the beginning. Now when he does it they have one-sided conversations with him. He still keeps doing it even as they try to talk to him. One time Patton jokingly balanced a potted plant on his head and that didn’t make Thomas any less anxious but it was certainly entertaining.
  • Whenever Verge gets a hug he just stands there begrudgingly and doesn’t hug back and basically reminds you of grumpy cat.
  • Logan has a huge book collection and tries to get Thomas to make it bigger by reading things but the dude won’t read more.
  • The brain is full of cat themed clothing and cat stuffed animals because Thomas is allergic to cats but still loves them so the sides like to see cat themed things whenever they can. Even Logan.
  • One day Patton just threw out a bunch of papers that were associated with Thomas’ knowledge involving chemical engineering, causing the whole “I forgot everything I learned” thing and when Logan found out about it there was a hilarious rage fueled chase scene that lasted for hours.
  • Patton squeals whenever he sees Christmas cookies.

“If the genius of invention were to reveal tomorrow the secret of immortality, of eternal beauty and youth, for which all humanity is aching, the same inexorable agents which prevent a mass from changing suddenly its velocity would likewise resist the force of the new knowledge until time gradually modifies human thought.”

–Nikola Tesla

The People’s Forum: Mr. Tesla on the Wireless Transmission of Power.” New York World, May 19, 1907.

Voltron Team in an amusement/theme park headcanons!

I forgot to write these after the date I went on with my girlfriend like I said I would, so here they are!

Keith

  • Keith is the guy who won’t show any fear, whatsoever, no matter what ride he is on. Just a stone cold expression, even if he’s screaming on the inside.
  • Keith prefers roller coasters because of the adrenaline, but his favorite rides are the slower ‘kiddie’ rides because it’s fun to just chill with his friends.
  • His favorite food is anything spicy. Stuffed peppers or something similar especially.  

Lance

  • Lance is the guy who screams on anything because “That’s the most important part of rides!”
  • Lance is the guy who can win almost any rigged game except for the claw. No one knows why the claw is his worst enemy, but it is.
  • His favorite food is any kind of fried food, meat in particular.

Hunk

  • Hunk likes the slower rides the most, but can never say no when Lance drags him onto a faster ride.
  • Unlike Lance, Hunk is the king of the claw game. Pick a prize, and it’s yours. Most of his skill comes from knowledge of the actual engineering behind the machine, and physics.
  • His favorite food is funnel cake, usually with caramel and strawberry. Both of his mom’s tried getting him to pick one of the two, so he decided that both were good.

Pidge

  • Pidge can’t ride half of the rides. She makes sure everyone hears her anguish because of this. She makes up for it by “holding” everyone’s stuff. Including their wallets. She buys snacks for herself by stealing their cash. (She never spends too much though. She isn’t a monster)
  • Pidge and Hunk nerd out together a lot by talking about how the mechanics and programming work together to make the whole park run.
  • Her favorite food is something bigger than her, be it a burger the size of her head, a corn dog as big as her arm, or something like that. If it gives her a stomach ache she wants it.

Shiro

  • Shiro is the Dad™ so he’s the one doing the seatbelt arm if he happens to be sitting next to any of the other paladins.
  • The park had to shut down a ride for a while because Shiro got stuck to the safety bar by melting it with his Galra arm because he was squeezing it so tight. Everyone laughed. Then felt bad. Then laughed again.
  • His favorite food is smothered fries and shredded ice.

Coran

  • Coran is terrified by everything, but tries to desperately hide it by laughing out a few lines of “On Altea, we rode on scarier rides as children!”
  • Coran is both enamored and terrified of fairy floss. ‘What do you mean that’s sugar!? I’ve seen human sugar! It does not look like that at all!’
  • Coran enjoys caramel apples and funnel cake with whipped cream, even though both get caught in his mustache a lot.

Allura

  • If Allura happens to be at the waterpark section, her brain short circuits, because look at all the pretty girls in swimsuits! It is too much for her strong lesbian heart.
  • Her favorite rides are the water ones because they feel less safe without all the safety bars and seatbelts, so they are scarier, and much more fun.
  • Allura loves ice cream so much, it worries everyone else. Dippin Dots, frozen custard, shaved ice, soft serve, etc. If it’s frozen and sweet, she will love it to bits. 

(Please ask me for more headcanons! I love writing them out! Don’t be afraid to drop a prompt in my inbox!)

Voltron/Digimon AU (with digimon diagrams!)

I was watching the original Digimon with my best friend yesterday, so of course this AU popped into my head. Let’s just get right into it then, shall we?

So the first four digidestined to be sucked into the digital world were Shiro, Allura, Lotor, and Matt. If anyone remembers from the original show, time in the digital world moves a LOT faster than time in the real world. I think it was one day in the digital world equals one minute in the real world. This is relevant because the first four digidestined were missing for one real-world year, which—to them being in the digital world—equals about 1440 years.

But no one knows what happened to these four kids, only that Shiro and Matt were together when they disappeared. And no one knows that Allura and Lotor’s disappearances were related.

Fast-forward that year to the other four digidestined—Keith, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. We’ll say they’re at flight camp for the summer, because parallels. Keith and Shiro are half-brothers in this AU, so Keith probably has a good dose of angst going for him. Keith lives with their dad, while Shiro lived with his mom. Guess we don’t know where Keith’s mom is.

Anyway, they’re at camp and they get sucked into the digital world where they meet their digimon. I think it will be a situation where Shiro actually shows up at their camp, and thus Keith is shocked, but before any kind of communication can be had, the other four get sucked in as well. Maybe some giant digimonster was trying to get through the hole from one world to the other and Shiro was stopping it with his partner digimon, which is why he showed up there, but had to quickly leave again.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

logan writes fanfic for sherlock

…you know, I’m aware you sent it as a prompt… but im kinda dying of laughter because he totally does

So im just posting that as a headcanon

  • Roman is the first one to find the fanfics, Logan is afraid he’s gonna make fun of him but Roman just starts complaining that the characterisation is off
  • Logan gets angry and asks him if he can do better
  • Roman makes a 20K fanfic in perfect character in less than a day
  • Logan cries
  • eventually both start cooperating and writting together
  • It leads to a lot of awkward moments in the dinner table
  • “No Roman we are not making an omega-verse” “But think of the posibilities!“ “I said-” “We can use our knowledge of chemical engineer to make it work in a realistic way!” “…Very well then”
Coven Priestess Pt 2

(Imagine you’re a priestess of a handsome male demon, who wants you to bear his children.)

Part 1

PART TWO

Many years passed, and you comfortably fit into the role of high priestess and Mistress of the coven. Inside your tome was written chapters upon chapters of hidden secrets, powerful magic, and other priceless information. Many detailed the true history of the coven, and how your little hamlet came to be;

Apparently, Sephar was a Duke of Hell before trading a vestibule of his power for the lock of a mortal woman’s hair. With her hair, Sephar was able to traverse the mortal plane in a human guise, and took it upon himself to impart forbidden knowledge of engineering and mathematics to the ancient Varagians of the 7th century. In secret, he also taught the woman how to unlock the secrets of pleasure within her body, and through repeated couplings the woman became infused with power and from there a formidable witch.

However, disaster eventually struck, and Sephar was exorcised back to Hell, while the witch was sentenced to be executed by invading Prussians. She managed to escape and live until migration to the New Country, where she raised a new generation that all inherited Sephar’s power. It is from her descendents that your people came from, carefully inbred throughout the years to ensure the power remains within the bloodline.

Your village wasn’t properly founded until less than eighty years ago. The priestess before you had ingeniously engineered a summoning circle that allowed Sephar to remain within its proximity, and therefore giving him access to the mortal plane. The coven grew under both her and Sephar’s leadership, and the town was built around the old chapel that housed the summoning circle, still embedded within the ground below.

Sephar didn’t visit often, but the coven benefited from his magic nevertheless. Your job as high priestess involved managing the bloodlines of new couplings, overseeing the supply of alchemical ingredients, creating training regimes for newer, younger witches, and keeping an eye on Sephar’s brood - the new generation of half-demon, half-mortal directly from the seed of Sephar himself. Now you understood why these particular townsfolk must be carefully protected from outside eyes.

You were nineteen now, six years after your first initiation. You were the top-ranking witch in the village, and the most respected outside Sir Sephar himself. On this particular morning, you were studying the genealogy of Beatrice’s family, and cross-referencing with others to find a suitable partner for her coupling. It was important that Beatrice did not breed with someone who was her second cousin and closer, or third removed and beyond if they were a third cousin and beyond. Complicated work.

You knew Beatrice had her eyes set on a lad in his late twenties, who had already fathered your own mother’s fourth cousin. But unfortunately, that would make him Beatrice’s second cousin third removed, and that meant Beatrice’s children would be in danger of having diluted witch blood. Thanks to Sephar’s influence, inbreeding was beneficial to your coven’s health rather than harmful, but there were blind spots that cancelled out important traits.

You rubbed your eyes. Already near noon, and nowhere complete with this tedious work. So you cut your losses and instead took your woven basket to gather mushrooms in the pine forest. A bit of fresh air might inspire some motivation for dull paperwork.

On your way, you passed by the old chapel, and spotted the familiar hooded figure wiping at the old stained glass windows. You called a greeting. They turned to you, and upon recognizing you, waved you over.

You complied, surprised. The hooded figure rarely asks anything of you - after their duty done when you were first introduced to Sephar, they usually kept to themselves and minded the chapel in which they seemed to live. To this day, they have never said a word to you.

The hooded figure bade you follow them back down into the stone caverns underneath. You raised and eyebrow; “I was to gather mushrooms for a new batch of fertility potions,” you explained, brandishing your basket.

They shook their head. Apparently, there was more important business to be done. So you sighed, and heeded their plea. Down you traversed, and back into the sanctum where Sephar was waiting.

“Priestess,” he said in greeting.

You approached and took Sephar’s cock into your mouth as you always did when the two of you met. Far from the shy child you once were, you now freely kissed and suckled at his member, rubbing your tongue against the small hole at the tip. You did this whenever you saw him. It was your form of a handshake.

After a few seconds of brief lavishing, Sephar widthrew his serpentine cock from your lips with a decadent slurp. He kept it withheld and near your face as he spoke, “You are of age now. Six years have passed. I sense the time is right for your next duty.”

The hooded figure, who usually left after they accompanied you through the corridors, this time stayed near as if on cue. At Sephar’s word, they lifted their hood for the first time, and you could see their face in the full. Pale, horned, and with slits for a nose. They were clearly another one of Sephar’s brood.

“My child here, their name is Mannis. So-called because they were the first-born of my brood, exactly forty years ago. Their mother, the priestess you succeeded. She was a mortal woman, and died five years before your 13th birthday.”

You nodded - you knew the story of the first priestess, the founder of the village and responsible for Sephar’s abiltiy to stay within the mortal plane due to the circle that lined the walls of this very stone chamber. She had died at a ripe old age, but not before teaching witchcraft to the rest of the coven, including her children.

Sephar continued. “She wasn’t just the village’s Mistress, she was mine as well. Clever, bright, and powerful. I miss her greatly, but I still have my brood to remember her by.” Sephar beckoned Mannis near, who gladly approached and rested their head within the fold of Sephar’s arm.

With a start, you connected the dots and realized that the people of Sephar’s brood were birthed by the first priestess. “All of them? They all shared her womb?”

“They did. Our last Mistress borne and raised all of the cambions that reside here today. No one knew what to expect from the coupling of a mortal woman and I, even myself. They age slowly, if at all, and seem to express an impressive aptitude for magic that mortals haven’t yet known to achieve.” Sephar ran his huge, clawed hand across Mannis’ bald head. Mannis cooed in response.

Sephar turned to look directly within your eyes. “But life goes on, as our last Mistress would say. I’d like to continue the broodline, with you as my new Mistress.”

And with that, you dropped your woven basket with a tumble.

It wasn’t news that you were expecting, that was certain.

But, as you mulled in your head, you were of age now. And if you were honest, there were times when you sat at your desk late at night, and eyed the genealogy chart with something akin to jealousy. Almost all of your peers were thinking about finding partners, such as young Beatrice, if they haven’t been assigned one already. Your own mother herself coupled with your father’s younger first cousin in a spontaneous orgy following all three of them having too much bourbon, and was currently large with baby. When you visited her during your off hours, you watched her sigh and moan with delight upon feeling the life within her shift and move, and sometimes the pressure was so intense upon her belly that she couldn’t resist rubbing herself to climax, right there in front of you.

And your father was also elated at her fertility. His current favorite pastime was to rut against the expanding belly, because he could feel the child within squirm under the skin, and the sight and sensation of his wife’s pregnancy was a joy to experience. Your mother was so large now, that she had trouble pleasuring herself. And your father was more than willing to assist.

Your other childhood friend, Norman, was now renown for his impressively large and wieldy cock. He was currently paired with your fifth cousin (his own second cousin fourth removed), a pretty thing that was showing a modest swell. Norman had sired a son beforehand with a previous partner that died unexpectedly during a hunting accident which left him heartbroken.

He had to breastfeed the newborn himself, until a suitable partner was found again. You had helped him stimulate the milkflow during the first few days of his previous partner’s death. According to your tome, men lactate under constant nipple stimulation followed by the release of hormones upon orgasm. So you bade Norman stroke and pluck at his nipples as you suckled between his legs, his huge cock a satisfying weight upon your tongue.

Norman had obediently massaged his nipples as you sucked him, his moans of pleasure dotted with sobs. He was still in mourning, but his days-old infant needed food and fast. It took four days before Norman began to drip with milk, and before that point it was a near-constant schedule of rubbing his sore teats, worshipping his cock, and using your own warm mouth to pull and stroke at his sensitive nubs.

Norman had quickly grown to love the sensation of nursing another. Orgasm after orgasm enhanced the pleasure of cradling someone’s soft head upon his breast, and his own paternal instinct was still rearing within him. After a climax, Norman would often go limp in the afterglow, and his complicated emotions - grief, love, pleasure, and paternal love - got the better of him and he would sob quietly.

Thankfully, Norman was now happy and the father of two. You, on the other hand, remained alone and on the outside, watching all your friends and loved ones continue their life. You found yourself coveting the special love between child and parent, but you didn’t know if you would ever experience it.

But now, the opportunity was clear in front of your eyes. It was different than you imagined it, but it was a chance at parenthood. And with Sephar, no less - a being of divine power and wisdom.

With him, you would give birth to new half-demons, and also absorb outworldly witchpower that you could never achieve on your own.

The answer was clear. You slowly approached Sephar, still cradling his first-born Mannis, as the two watched your every move with anticipation. You placed your hand upon Sephar’s chiseled cheek, so small compared to his huge head.

“Sir Sephar, Great Duke of Hell, commander of the 29 legions and instigator of brevity.” You stared deep within his inhuman black eyes, so close you felt his cold breath upon your face, and count the miniscule white scales lining his skin. “I accept.”

Sephar wordlessly released Mannis from his arms, who approached you and began to remove your clothing piece by piece in ceremonial glory. First your cloak, then robe, then shoes and undergarments. You stood bare and slightly shivering from the draft, Sephar staring all the while.

The demon Duke extended his huge cock once again. It reached across the minor distance between you and him, and the length softly traced itself over your face, your lips, and your breasts and stomach and thighs. Like a finger or a hand, gently exploring its lover before a first coupling.

Sephar took your hand within his own, and brought it up to his face before engulfing it within his lamprey-like mouth. You felt the wetness convulse around your hand in a titillating suction, and what felt like a serpentine tongue much like Sephar’s cock wrap itself tightly around a digit before moving to another. While your hand was held within his mouth, his own large, clawed hands rose to cup at your breasts, one finger on each gently poking at your raised nipples with a talon. His penis bobbed aimlessly at your legs and belly, seemingly with a mind of its own.

Your other hand grabbed at the wandering cock and began pumping at the thinner end. It stilled at the attention and began to throb slightly. Sephar drew a large pull at the hand within his mouth, and moved from your breasts to between your legs.

He thumbed up your folds, exposing a hard nub which he rubbed with a surprising gentleness. You let out a moan from the contact, and felt your belly grow hot. Sephar released your hand from within his mouth, now soaked, and bent down to nuzzle his face at your pelvis.

With a gasp, you felt a wormy wetness upon your clitoris and instinctively grabbed at Sephar’s huge antelope-like horns for balance. He took your reaction as encouragement, and using his unnaturally-flexible tongue, wrapped himself around your tiny clit and pulled at it deviously.

You cried out. Sephar was relentless with his worship, continuing to guide his tongue downwards and teasing at your now-dripping folds. With a scoop of his massive skull, he angled himself with purpose and you found yourself straddling Sephar’s face while bracing yourself on his horns, your breasts pressed against his forehead. He straightened to a standing position while ducking his jaw lower under your legs, allowing his tongue entrance into your pussy.

The long, wormy appendage was both firm and soft all at once. It dived deep within you, tasting feverishly at your pulsing inner walls, pumping itself in and out in a decadent rhythm. Sephar used his hands to hold your trembling thighs in place as you rested your body upon his massive head, fifteen feet from the ground. He effortlessly supported your entire weight as the outer lips of his mouth, lined with sharp teeth, extended and clamped down around your pelvis, like a many-lipped flower trapping your pussy inside.

You writhed and moaned, gripping his horns tight. This inhuman display of strength and virility was enough to send you over the edge, and you clamped down on his tongue as you grunted out waves upon waves of release.

But Sephar was far from done. He picked you off of his head and cradled your limp body in front of him, as if you were nothing more than a doll. You looked at his unreadable gaze, panting.

“You taste so sweet, I’ve forgotten the taste of mortal nectar.” His voice was lower than normal, and softer. “It will be the perfect breeding water for my children.”

You were too soaked with pleasure to respond, but Sephar didn’t need a word of encouragement. He moved you closer to him, until your pelvis lined with his own. Through the horizon of your torso you saw Sephar’s huge cock flex itself and aim at your pussy.

You couldn’t help but brace yourself. Although Sephar’s teasing had opened you up greatly, Sephar’s penis must be nearly four feet long, and nearing five inches in diameter where it met his body. The thinner, curling end was no bigger than your finger, but as the organ traversed downwards it quickly swelled to be a worrying thickness.

But Sephar clearly knew your trepidation. He first bade his cock inch within your pussy until just enough to feel a stretch, carefully gaging your reaction all the while. At the thinness it was currently, you hardly felt a thing, so the next push introduced more thickness, and this progress continued until Sephar’s dick filled the entire cavity.

“Ohh-hh … “ you let out a moan as the pleasure grew. Sephar didn’t need to move his body, his tactile cock was thrusting in and out on its own accord. He took on a steady rhythm, pumping casually within your warmth and stretching you wider bit by bit. His two hands were easily cradling your entire body as he fucked you, so there you lay in his arms, letting out soft moans.

He eventually picked up the pace, and adjusted his grip so that you were tilted with your head nearing the floor, and your pussy higher upwards. His cock was now thrusting itself harder and faster, making your moans evolve into cries of intense pleasure. This was the most filled you’ve ever experienced, every inch of cavity taken up by his flesh.

But Sephar pushed even deeper, and upon your second orgasm, you felt the thin tip of his cock poke at a wall deep within your belly.

You raised your head in confusion, but suddenly buckled back as the tip pushed itself through the pucker of your cervix opening and deeper into the canal. As it snaked upwards, more thickness stretched at your pussy, mercilessly rubbing at your G-spot.

You could feel the sensation of Sephar pass your vagina entirely and reach up into your uterus. The first push granted him some access into your womb, and he widthdrew to thrust again. The pressure on your walls upon retreat forced another climax, mere seconds after the last one.

But before the orgasm even died down, Sephar thrusted upwards again, and this time his cock managed to snake its way throughout the entire cavity and stroke the back wall of your uterus. The force pushed your entire body back a few inches, which made him hastily adjust his hold on you as you cried out helplessly, your head hanging downwards and arms limp and dangling.

“AAAHH!! AH! AHH!!” You screamed with ecstasy. Another pull and push, and now Sephar was curling up within your womb, which stretched to accommodate his massive size. Your pussy clamped down repeatedly upon his thick flesh as another orgasm grew and imploded. This time, the climax was so severe, it forced a violent squirt of clear fluid from your urethra under the immense pleasure. Again and again he pumped at you, more than three-quarters of his gigantic cock buried within your flesh.

You could feel the thickness and the mobile tip every time it entered your womb. The sensation made you feel like your entire torso was taken up by his divine member, as if it was the spine to your body. When it pulled away, you felt empty and collapsed for the split second he retreated. When he thrusted deep within, it was an all-encompassing fulfillment that made you feel like a sock puppet impaled upon someone’s forearm. You looked down upon your body, and saw that there was a deep outline that clearly expressed the spirling organ’s traverse throughout your body. It snaked out, and then back in, curling within itself rapidly like a spring upon nestling within your uterus.

Again and again you came, regularly squirting liquid from your abused pussy. You couldn’t stop - the waves of pleasure never died and instead followed one after the other like a tide upon a shore. The constant orgasms made you lose your mind, and you lost yourself in a miasma of unearthly lust. Your head hung back, eyes rolled and half-lidded, seeing nothing, a sardonic grin stretched across your face as you continued to cry and scream to the pulse of Sephar’s thrusts.

Sephar, meanwhile, was largely silent except for a few sighs from his massive head as he pleasured himself to your mortal flesh. His hands remained still and steady, balancing your entire body safely as he fucked you hard.

Eventually, his cock sprang to life and began thrusting itself with unholy speed. He re-angled your body so that his two hands gripped your thighs and left the rest of you dangling upside down, like a thrusted chicken, allowing your head and shoulders to rest flat upon the floor as your pelvis was mercilessly pumped. Sephar’s cock was moving so fast, it almost became a pinkish-white blur of movement that dripped and sprayed your nectar everywhere with its sheer momentum.

Over and over the cock dove, like a pecking bird, into your warmth and back out. The pleasure was now almost unbearable in its intensity, forcing your body to seize and thrash involuntarily, everything from fingers to your back arching and dancing as the ecstasy grew to unnatural levels. Your body was drained dry of cum from your constant squirting, but your pussy continued to jump and pulse in an attempt to drain itself more.

Eventually, your body must have decided that it must have some form of release, so from your jiggling breasts a strong stream of creamy whiteness erupted from the nubs like fountains. The milk flowed in forms of regular ropes that danced upwards, followed by another, in time with the unforgiving orgasms racking through you.

It was clear that the mortal body was not built for this level of pleasure. Your eyes were bulging and mouth wide open in a continuous scream that spoke of the intensity that engulfed you. But through the haze, you could also sense the growing well of something that spoke of immortal magic that was steadily settling within your soul, making you feel stronger bit by bit, and before long you felt like the world was at your fingertips, despite you dangling in front of Sephar’s huge form, squirting and spraying wetness and milk while you yelled and cried from insane levels of pleasure.

Finally Sephar let out an echoing groan that bellowed like a whale’s call and stilled himself. The cock was still furrowed within you, but you could feel the stretch and pressure of what could only be his seed that was filling every crevice possible, and when no room was left, it simply continued to burst through until your belly was swollen and large.

Sephar’s cock was throbbing, but it looked limper and spent. He withdrew himself with an aching gentleness that opposed his crazed fucking just seconds ago. You let out a moan as you felt what must have been pints of seed burst out of your pussy following his exit.

He used his hands to once again cradle you into his arms. You could feel yourself blacking out in exhaustion, but there was no pain or suffering. Instead, you felt a strange but strong sense of wonder and purpose draw you into the world of sleep. In your pleasure-addled mind, you could help but allow a wide, satisfied smile as you finally closed your eyes and let darkness take over.

You ended up sleeping through the next day, and only awoken during the afternoon to a sore body and an aching pussy. You had been moved to a nearby chamber still within the chapel cellar, upon a bed with crimson silk.

When you awoke, Mannis had greeted you with a meal of soft, warm foods and plenty of water. They bid you rest some more, but you felt fine - great, even, and you wanted to talk to Sephar. But Mannis shook their head no, Sephar wasn’t yet here and would visit you again in a few days. Your duty was to properly rest and incubate your pregnancy.

Ah, that’s right. You were a parent, now. No doubt that Sephar’s gallon of seed had sired a life within you. And as you quickly learned just a few days later, gestation with half-demon offspring is much shorter than a mortal’s.

Sephar kept his word and spoke with you again a week later, and already you had the swelling of what would have been four months. Your breasts had also ballooned outwards, and the coupling with Sephar had inspired lactation that you assumed will continue beyond the baby’s birth.

“The pregnancy is progressing fine. You’ve done good work, priestess. You should be proud.” Sephar wasn’t one to smile, his mouth seemingly not allowing it, but his tone clearly spoke his happiness.

You wrapped an arm around the swelling. “I am indeed. For both of us, and our firstborn.”

Time passed, and the end of the month brought a contraction that told of the baby’s arrival. You had been up in the village, doing your regular work, when you were suddenly forced to squat in the middle of the town’s main road as a flood of clear fluid sprayed from your pussy. Apparently, a demon birth was just as quick as a demon pregnancy - in merely thirty minutes, the contractions grew to torturous levels, making you scream for miles around as you helplessly pushed and dripped upon the stone. Passerby neighbors did their best to aid you, but you were so far along already, that all that could be done now was push.

But even thirty minutes seemed too long, and you used your fingers to try to edge the baby’s head further along. Each contraction was followed by a push, inching the baby ever closer to being born. One neighbor brought a thick blanket and pooled it under you, in preparation for the baby so that it didn’t bang its head upon birth.

Despite the pain, all went well. The baby slid out with a wet gulp, trailing its umbilical cord behind it. Already you could see its pale skin, and the bud of two crowning horns on the top of its skull. It wailed loudly in the noon chill, and you instinctively loosened your blouse to guide it towards your dripping breast.

And there you sat, umbilical cord still attached, your first infant suckling as the coven cheered and celebrated their priestess’s first birth. Your mother used a pair of sewing scissors to cut the cord while your friend Beatrice - herself heavily pregnant with twins - helped clean and swaddle the newborn.

And so began your new life as the second priestess of the coven, and Mistress of Sephar. Your first child was born, which also meant it was time to start another one.

END!

by eroticworldbeyond

anonymous asked:

hc's for what the paladins do/how they react to lotor capturing their s/o on a mission the day before their wedding was supposed to happen?

i know this was supposed to be angsty and all but i couldn’t help making it a tiny bit comical heh

warning: implied nsfw at the end ;]

leave me a little tip if you would !


HUNK:

  • “Okay, that purple Legolas wannabe has gotten on my last nerve. Guys, we have to go after him, I don’t care if we have to search all night; I didn’t chill these hor d’oeuvres for nothing!”
  • will crack down together with Pidge to discover where Lotor’s last signal was
    • he won’t stop working until he finds his you even if he’s almost dead from the exhaustion
    • is a pit of anxiety and won’t relax even for a single second
  • uses all his engineering knowledge to relocate you
  • once he finds you, he’ll cry tears of happiness because he was so close to losing the love of his life 
  • he also didn’t want to postpone the wedding because he’s anxious to finally have you as his partner for life

SHIRO:

  • looks heavenward as he inhales deeply
  • cracks his knuckles and his eyes narrow in anger
    • “I’m gonna rip him a new one open if he so much as harms a hair on their head.”
  • everyone is terrified of this new Shiro who won’t stop until he finds you
  • blames his bad luck for your kidnapping
  • he’s tirelessly emptying the galaxy for a sign of you
  • his anxiety is through the roof as he imagines what Lotor would do 
    • can’t bear the thought of losing you forever
    • may break down in the castle corners as he’s desperately trying to pull himself together to search for you
  • when he finds you, he crushes you in a giant hug and wants to have the wedding now goddammit before something else happens; he doesn’t think he can handle another forced separation.

LANCE:

  • would go off on every Cuban insult he can think of
  • blames himself for letting Lotor get to you
  • immediately asks Allura to start a search
  • abandons all rationale thought as he forces everyone into the control room past sleeping hours to find a clue as to where you could be
    • the others don’t mind, of course. they adore you and they want you to be safe
  • the moment you’re safely in his arms, Lance declares that they have to have the wedding now because he can’t bear losing you anymore
  • he just wants to protect you for the rest of your life.

KEITH:

  • he’s absolutely livid
    • it would take the whole team to calm him down as he’s going on a rampage to find you
  • he’s anxious and wants to go on his own to find you
    • the others don’t let him, of course. you’ll survive a better chance if they all work together
    • lance is the one to remind him that you’re a tough one and can hold out until the team finds you
  • would take on lotor, his generals, ten fighter ships, a battle cruiser, zarkon’s ghost and haggar’s cat altogether by his own if it meant he would get you back stat
  • when you’re both reunited, keith surprises everyone by breaking down in your arms
    • he feared for a brief, but terrifying moment that he was going to be all alone again
    • would drag you into his room, uncaring that the other Paladins are there as he whispers that he needs to have you now 
    • results in the both of you being late for own wedding the next day
    • Hunk never forgave the both of you for letting his creamed Puig parfait melt because you both were too exhausted from fucking all night to put on your wedding clothes.

anonymous asked:

HC for Paladins having a 16-19 year old human female medic/engineer who is very salty, sarcastic, and brash and a scary hair trigger temper with a slightly sadistic and crude humor ("who's the next victim-I mean patient" humor) and won't hesitate to hit someone over the head with her wrench, but once they start to get to know her better she cares a lot about them and worries and is a very good listener and kind? (Like a tsudere pretty much) sorry it's long

~Lol, this reminds me so much like a character from an anime I watched a long time ago, but anyways not gonna talk about that one!!~


Hunk

• He is very confused and will be, without a doubt, terrified of them. 😱

• He won’t be fond of their crude and sadistic humour, especially her very salty and harsh demeanour.😈

• Because of this, he’ll probably try and avoid pissing her off as much as possible.

• Will also avoid her too.

• Although, he is impressed by his s/o’s knowledge in engineering and in the medical field.

• He’ll take note that, her wrench hurts like hell.

• Avoid the wrench no matter what.

• He’ll want to be on his s/o’s good side if not all the time. 〇

• Would try his best to avoid being her patient at all costs, he does not want to get a face full of wrenches and ice packs when he gets to the castle.

• If you would take out the mean demeanour, Hunk would be pretty amazed at their abilities on the medical field. ㊩

• One day, he ended up getting injured but not quite fatal so there was no use in using the healing pods so he had to go to his s/o to treat the wound. 

• Although, the two start talking about mundane things which was something that Hunk wouldn’t really expect from her?

• While they were talking, she seemed so relaxed and nicer? And that she was much more open? And very caring?? 😌

• Ends up getting to know her better and sees that she just really care about the other paladins including him and that she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to them. 

• Hunk would see them in a different light,

• Crush intensifies 💖

• So basically his entire view of his s/o being a mean and harsh person completely changed into a very caring and just scared and worried of losing someone on the team.

• Ends up getting attached to her like a damn koala.

• Hunk would actually invite her to the kitchen and that would cook up some recipes together.

• Cooking is Hunk’s way of bonding. 🍲

• Would immediately become besties and eventually partners. 

• Wouldn’t really mind his s/o’s harsh attitude towards others, since its just her personality and that she doesn’t really mean it.

• He still would not enjoy his s/o’s dark humour, still uncomfortable with that but he can manage.

• In the end, he just likes her for who she is. ❤️

Keith

He is low-key terrified of her at first 😨

• But he manages to keep his cool together. 💦

• Isn’t going to be really fond of her at first, and would much rather keep his distance from her as much as possible.

• Very good at avoiding her tbh.

• He’s not very fond with these types of people, so you could say he kind of despises her at first.

• Like, he will not go along well with this type of attitude.

• He may be emo, but he’s not a heartless bastard who just throw wrenches at random people just because they pissed him off.

• Actually scratch that, he gets pissed off easily too.

• Isn’t really one for jokes, I mean come on, he doesn’t know how to do a cheer with Lance and he doesn’t understand the gist of puns at all so don’t expect him to understand anything about his s/o’s sadistic humour. 😎

• He literally thought that his s/o is planning to kill Allura once because of her dark jokes about the princess and that immediately concerns him.

• Of course, Pidge and Lance has to tell him that she’s not a danger to the team, she just have a dark sense of humour.

• Its very concerning.

• High key suspicious of her.

• Just does not want to be in her presence at all. 😒

• Until a mission came where he is forced to pair up with her because they need the brawn and brain together on this one.

• During the mission, Keith still continues to be Keith and despite direct order, decides to just charge directly into the enemy’s front lines. Like come on Keith, can you please chill for a second?

• S/o gets really concerned and goes after him as well and does her best to cover for him while he rampages.

• Keith gets injured during the battle, and is forced to go in hiding with his s/o.

• He just watches silently while his s/o starts patching him up and goes full on doctor mode on him and starts talking about the depth of the wound, prescribed medications, etc. 

• He’ll never admit it, but he’s very impressed by his s/o’s knowledge in the medical field much like Hunk. 😤

• He gets confused when his s/o starts stating how worried she was and scared when she saw him run into the enemy’s line of sight. 

• Starts scolding him just like how Shiro would to him.

• Learns that his s/o just really cares for him and the rest of the team and would be extremely devastated if anything bad were to happen to them.

• Once they got back to the castle and the mission was completed, he would head to his room and start thinking about his s/o and what he thought they were.

• Genuinely surprised and taken aback by their sudden change of attitude back on the battlefield. 👀

• Of course, with some encouraging from Shiro, decides to confront to his s/o about the encounter.

• Over time he and his s/o gets along, quite well actually. 👍

• During his time being with his s/o he actually picks up some jokes from her.

• Shiro is concerned 

Lance

• He is shook honestly 💦

• He’s never seen someone so harsh and brute before and has such a dark sense of humour. 

• Despite that, he still tries to flirt with her though, just to see some reaction from her.

• Didn’t really expect screwdrivers and nails being thrown at him as a response.

• Likes to mess and poke fun at her from time to time though, 👈

• Acts as if he isn’t at all scared at his s/o’s sarcastic behaviour and temper problems.

• He is indeed terrified in the inside, but he has to keep his cool if he ever wants to defeat Keith.

• Other than that, he is actually very impressed and amazed at his s/o’s knowledge in engineering.

• Silently thinks to himself how everyone around him has such an important role and unique attributes and skills but then there’s him, with no talent whatsoever, and that he could be easily replaced or removed from the team.

• Poor Lance… 😞

• Though, he doesn’t realize that his s/o knew about his self-doubt.

• One time where they were battling a Galra fleet and were in Voltron form, he miscalculated his steps which caused Voltron to stumble and fall at one point, though they immediately rose back up. 

• The others just tell him it was just a simple mistake, but he takes it personally, after seeing another job well done by Hunk, Pidge and Shiro.

• He gets, maybe a little bit depressed once they returned to the castle with an injury on his abdomen. 

• He goes to his s/o to get treated and expects the same scolding and nails thrown at him once he enters their room, but is surprised when he sees that his s/o was worried.

• He notices their sudden change of attitude while she was patching him up.

• They start to talk about mundane things, which was also something very unexpected, but was a nice change in pace.

• While talking, Lance gets… Emotional and starts to pour out his feelings and self-doubt. ✉️

• Finds that his s/o was such a great listener, listening intently to what he had to say and honestly, it made him feel cared for.

• Stays in their room much longer than usual.

• Eventually he and his s/o becomes very close friends.

    • “Awww, you cared about me!”

    • “I will still beat your ass Lance,”

• He just really likes this side of his s/o, and finds it very comforting.

• Still likes to poke fun at her and tease her. 😂

Pidge

• Unlike the rest of the paladins, she takes a different approach to this type of s/o.

• She’s seen and met people like her s/o before, so she’s not really surprised to see this kind of attitude before.

• Though, she is scared of the unexpected screams and yells from time to time.

Terrified of the wrench😱

• Does not want to go any where near that wretched wrench.🙅

• Despite protest, she has to stick around with her s/o because of their knowledge in some certain areas.

• Pidge’s specialty is with robotics and computers 💻 while her s/o’s specialty is with medicine and botany. 🌿🍃

• Pidge tends to not listen to her s/o’s rants while working.

• She may kind of relate to her s/o when it comes to saltiness and sarcasm, but she is terrified and not really a fan of her s/o’s dark sense of humour. 

• She doesn’t really despise them at first, but she would much rather avoid them as much as possible.

• Although one time during a mission, the two were both tasked to hack into the base of a Galra fleet which had a lab that were experimenting on deadly plants. Of course, the two of them both completed their task successfully but once they returned to the castle to analyze the data together they both decided to talk.

• So her s/o starts explaining the main structure of the different types of plants to her until there was one statement that stopped her s/o from talking.

    • “This plant is very similar to the ones me and my parents grew back at home. It produces these sweet fruits that we would harvest and cook on Earth…” 🍀

• She sees her s/o getting a little emotional which was actually quite odd to her.

• She’s never seen them like this.

• Though they start talking about their lives on earth from that topic, and Pidge started to tell her about her times back on earth with her brother, father and mother and before they entered the garrison.

• The topic gets a little emotional as Pidge starts to express her loneliness and sadness without her family.

• Finds that her s/o listening intently to every word she says.

• Eventually, the two would laugh it out by some jokes and puns from her s/o.

• She likes this side of her s/o, and she’s glad that her s/o showed it to her.

• Adopts this dark humour from her s/o.😈

• The two would eventually grow close to each other, like peas in a pod.

• The partners in crime!

• Pidge is just glad that she has someone to confide in.😊

Shiro

• When he first meets his s/o, he’s slightly taken aback by their salty and sarcastic behavior.

• Though he doesn’t really think that much of it, since every person has their own personality and tastes.

• Not really fond of his s/o’s dark sense of humour either. 😅

• He still tries to understand his s/o’s personality and the reason behind it, even though at times their sarcasm and temper may cause his blood to boil. But he hides it.

• At first thinks his s/o’s personality as irresponsible, immature and could get them in trouble because of her brash nature. 😒

• The damn wrench just gets him every time.

• Though, he would compliment his s/o’s advanced knowledge in the medical field, and maybe their aim. Because she keeps hitting him with that wretched screwdriver one way or another

• Space dad does not approve of this behaviour.🙅

Space dad literally tries his best not to lash out at them

• His s/o is just causing him stress. 😵

• Mentally groans whenever they make a rude remark or another sadistic joke.

• He isn’t really fond of their behaviour, and scolds them about it, and that it will not be tolerated in this family.

• He still tries to be optimistic about her, and encourages them to be more open and actually be nice.

• Though after a battle which included the Galra fleet attacking an allied planet, Shiro was badly wounded from the fight, but the castle was severely damaged from the fray, the healing pods were not fully functioning and the castle needed repairs and resources before regaining back power.

• So s/o stayed with Shiro and went full on doctor mode on him, and started to treat his wounds. ㊩

• His s/o manages to put him to sleep while he patches him up because the wound was quite deep and could cause blood loss if not healed.

• Of course, Keith is scared out of his mind 

• But because of s/o’s amazing abilities and knowledge in medicine, she managed to heal Shiro.

• When Shiro woke up, he was greeted by his s/o who was monitoring him.

    • “Guess its not my time yet,”

    • “Shut up Shiro, no one’s dying on this damn team, not while I’m still breathing.”

• His actually surprised by that statement. 😦

• Sees that his s/o’s sudden attitude and worried state about him.

• Surprised to see that his s/o genuinely cares about him?

• But this is quite the good change.

• He sees this as the perfect opportunity to get to know her better, so he strikes up a friendly conversation.

• Very surprised by the outcome.

• He just sees a very concerned and a very caring girl?💖

• An hour ago he was talking to an angsty and sadistic teen and now he’s talking to a sweet and kind girl??? 🎀 

• He just really likes this sincere attitude from his s/o.❤️

• Understands his s/o’s mentality, since they were just trying to care and look out for everywhere because she sees the team as her family and are still young.

• He ends up liking this change a lot and encourages them to be open more, and to let the others know that she cares about the team.

• Space dad just loves his smart bean.💜

6

Neither Elizabeth or David could create life.
During the Prometheus expedition, David discovers that the black ooze can get Elizabeth pregnant. It’s incredible: he basically found the power of both “death” and “life” itself. It’s during the Prometheus expedition that David develops his interest for creation, his desire to become a creator.
David will use the knowledge stolen from the Engineers and Elizabeth’s body to produce his creatures.

Maybe David too thought that “anybody can do it”.

anonymous asked:

In his latest video (Unity Has An Image Problem) Jim Sterling seems act as if Unity should be responsible for "bad" developers making "bad" games for it and basically said that Adrian Forest's tweet thread about how game journalists just make more harm than good talking about game engines in reviews was him making bad excuses for why game journalists shouldn't talk about game engines. Where do you stand on this whole thing and is Jim/game journalists in the wrong for bringing up the game engine?

For those who don’t understand this question, here’s the TLDR: [Adrian Forest tweeted a rant about how it is silly to judge a game based on its choice of engine], and he placed the blame on video game news sites putting undue emphasis on game engines. [Jim Sterling, in typical fashion, released a counterpoint video] defending the gaming bloggers’ right to talk about whatever they want, complained about how there are too many games on Steam that use the Unity engine badly, and blamed Unity and their CEO for not policing the people who use their engine better.

I agree with Adrian Forest’s opinion that gaming news sites tend to put too much emphasis on things like the game’s engine, and that has been cultivated by marketing departments searching for some sort of new buzzword to entice players. I also think that it is silly to ignore a game because of its’ engine. It’s like saying that you refuse to live in a building that was built in part with nails and wood. Engines are not necessarily indicative of the finished product, and anyone who makes a decision on a game based on the engine is doing themselves a disservice.

On a side note, Sterling’s mention of unscrupulous developers using Unity for an asset flipped title doesn’t actually address Forest’s point. Most gaming news sources don’t bother talking about asset flipped titles in any depth because they aren’t worth the time - there’s just not that much to say about an asset flipped game. An asset flip isn’t a bad game because it uses Unity, it’s a bad game because the developers didn’t actually build an actual new game. Any blogger or youtuber who spends time talking about an off-the-shelf engine with regards to a specific title is probably wasting their time and not providing any worthwhile information or insight to anybody. As he’s admitted, most of the bloggers lack actual knowledge on how engines work or what they do. That severely limits their possible insight.

I don’t agree with Forest’s solution though - it isn’t on the gaming bloggers to police themselves, and they gain nothing from pushing back on the engine talk. I’m fairly sure that most businesses are essentially self-serving, and I can generally trust them to do what’s in their own best interest. I don’t believe that game bloggers or youtubers like Jim Sterling actually care about the “truth” as much as they care about what gets them the views and traffic. If talking about the engine gets them the continued traffic and paychecks, then they’ll do it. As long as engines are a thing in marketing, they will continue to make noise about it in the press blogosphere. They can’t help themselves.

One of the big problems in general, however, is that these online marketplaces like Steam, the App store, Google Play, etc. have a curation problem. There isn’t a solid automated means of culling the wheat from the chaff. You don’t see as many of these crappy games on console marketplaces, due in large part to the high barrier to entry - console dev kits are expensive. This has nothing to do with the engines either - the reason that there are so many crappy unity games on Steam is primarily for two reasons:

  1. Steam has a low barrier to entry. No particularly rigorous screening process, and a low cost to get started.
  2. Unity, Unreal, GameMaker, RPG Maker, etc. are also inexpensive and easy to obtain

When the barrier to entry is lowered, a lot more hobbyists will end up presenting more products, but overall average quality will suffer because you’re not increasing the number of skilled professional developers in the pool, you’re just adding a lot more amateurs and hobbyists. And it’s in the platform’s best interests to figure out how to fix this problem, because they’re the ones who are hurting the devs they wanted to empower most with this - the devs who make fantastic games, but don’t get the lucky spotlight or news mentions that propel them into the public eye. In 2016 a little over 11 games on average released every day on Steam. Steam currently has a list of ~40 games with July 25th, 2017 as their release day. That’s a lot of new games with no way to tell if they’re good or who might like them, and the number will only increase. 

Consoles avoid this problem by having their exacting and expensive certification process, but the costs of such processes put it beyond the reach of many indie developers. In order to fix this problem, there absolutely needs to be some means of evaluating a new game and it almost certainly must be automated. The biggest cost of the certification process is the collective payroll for all of the humans needed to press buttons and test the certification criteria, and that cost will be prohibitive for most indie devs.


Got a burning question you want answered?

Have some Eposette Hero/Villain AU headcanons that are based on sth @its-better-than-an-opera and me came up with when i talked about modifying a hair removal laser into a weapon suited for battle

(i don’t know how this got so long? i’m so sorry?)

- cosette is super girly but always had an interest in tinkering with machines 

- so it’s not a surprise when she studies mechanical engineering at university

- but she has to deal with a lot of shit because she doesn’t fulfill the stereotypes and does not take any shit from anyone and is generally just happy being herself

- she gets into the superhero stuff kind of acidentially when she, by pure chance, stops a robbery in her halloween costume (to be fair she has had 10+ years of martial arts experience and the guy trying to rob the corner store had no chance against her)

- someone takes a picture of her in her disney princess costume and someone interviews the corner store owner and one thing leads to another and suddenly there is an article about her in some paper

- and she decides that while she probably shouldn’t stop any more robberies she could maybe do smaller stuff to help people (she ends up doing way more but that was not really the plan)

- BUT she is determined to be completely herself, even when in disguise, so you can bet her superhero outfits are various dresses that can be modified into outfits she is able to fight in and heels, just because she can. her make up is always on point and also basically her disguise, she can do cool AF stuff and ends up looking like some sort of otherworldly creature

- also she puts her mechanical and electrical engineering knowledge to use and makes all of her weapons herself out of cosmetic things

- her faves are a taser she made out of a hair removal laser and a laser lipstick

- everyone always underestimates her, even when she starts stopping crimes involving supervillains

- her and eponine meet when patron minette (who are a villainous gang that mostly do big robberies in this), who eponine is part of, are trying to steal a painting 

- because this isn’t such a big mission, eponine basically goes in alone while montparnasse is on the lookout and someone else is on hold with their villain van

- she isn’t expecting this short, petite girl in a dress to appear and fight her in high heels? eponine might be a little bit in love when the girl nearly manages to knock her out with a roundhouse kick

- eponine manages to escape (montparnasse appears bc eponine was taking too long and does some magician shit involving loads of smoke) but this isn’t the last time they meet

- eponine keeps flirting with the cute girl while watching her kick everyones ass and staying the fuck out of it (patron minette basically becomes cosettes nemesis so eponine gets to see her kick ass A LOT)

- this conversation between eponine and random patron minette members happens so often: “uhm, i wouldn’t try to fight her if i were you” “why not? she looks like i could knock her out with one punch” “that girl knows how to fight in highheels, do you want to die?”

- meanwhile cosette is getting frustrated, because the girl who seems to be part of the villain gang but doesn’t seem to do anything but make snarky comments and flirt with her is kinda cute?

- at one point patron minette kidnaps cosette and puts eponine in charge of looking after her

- a very long and emotional conversation happens where they both talk about why they do what they do, and eponine tells cosette how she wished she could be more than just a villain

- eponine lets cosette go after that and they both think about that conversation for a long time and realize they both have feelings for each other

- there is some sort of big showdown between cosette and the remaining members of patron minette (the ones that she hasn’t put in prison yet) and eponine unexpectedly fights on her side, because dammit she is may be in love with cosette and doesn’t want to be part of this anymore

- after the battle cosette tells eponine how proud she is of her and how much she appreciates her help and how she always knew that eponine was good, and eponine can’t help herself and has to kiss her

- they now fight crime together and live happily ever after

USEFUL WEBSITES! (Long ass text post)

whatdoestheinternetthink.net - Find out what the internet thinks about anything.

ronwinter.tv/drums.html Play drums on the Ron Winter Virtual drum set.

geoguessr.com A geography game which takes you on a journey around the world and challenges your ability to recognize your surroundings.

gizoogle.net - Gangsterfy everything on the internet! Just imagine if Snoop Dogg had a search engine. This is it.

privnote.com - Create text notes that will self-destruct after being read.

stripgenerator.com - Create and enjoy comic strips with fantastic ease. Use this if you’re tired of drawing on your own.

drinkify.org - Find out what you should drink when you’re listening to ________.

m.runpee.com - Find out when’s the best time during a movie to run and pee.

youtube.com/leanback - Enjoy a never ending stream of YouTube videos in full-screen.

pointerpointer.com - A ridiculously entertaining website that shows you a picture of someone pointing to wherever you put your pointer.

hackertyper.com - Type like a hacker on television/in movies.

listentoyoutube.com - Download any video on YouTube as an mp3 file.

www2.warnerbros.com/spacejam/movie/jam.htm - The original Space Jam website from 1996… because why not.

bigassmessage.com - Make sure your friends get the message this time by saying it with a big ass message.

imo.im - Chat with your buddies on Skype, Facebook, Google Talk, etc. from one place

pastebin.com - A temporary online clipboard for your text and code snippets.

wolframalpha.com - A computational knowledge engine. It works by using its vast store of expert-level knowledge and algorithms to automatically answer questions, do analysis, and even generate reports. In other words: it’s an amazing tool.

screenr.com - Record vdeos of your desktop/send them straight to YouTube.

topsy.com - A better search engine for Twitter.

tineye.com - Reverse image search engine.

iruler.net - This website measures the size of your screen and creates the image of a ruler that is the actual size.

eats.ly - Delicious looking food porn and awesome recipes from around the Web.

oldversion.com - In case you update your software and the update sucks.

simplynoise.com - Simply white noise to drown out everything around you.

rainymood.com - The sound of rain and thunderstorms on your computer.

feedmyinbox.com - Get RSS feeds of your choice as an email newsletter.

en.akinator.com - A web genie that can guess any character you can think of, real or fictional, with only a few questions.

vinesnow.com - The funniest and most creative vines all on one tumblr blog.

wobzip.org - Unzip your compressed files online.

drunkronswanson.com - Because we could all use more drunk Ron Swanson.

seatguru.com - Consult this site before choosing a seat for your next flight.

namemytune.com - When you need to find the name of a song.

najle.com/idaft/ - Pretend you’re Daft Punk.

nutshellmail.com - Get your Facebook and Twitter streams in your inbox.

Slipsum.com - Samuel L. Jackson text generator and placeholder. And yes, of course the text includes “motherfucker”.

styles.ly - A blog about fashion, style and beauty including helpful tips/DIYs.

caffeineinformer.com/death-by-caffeine - Find out how much of your favorite energy drink, soda, or caffeinated food would it take to kill you.

whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com - In case you need a profane suggestion for what to make for dinner.

garfieldminusgarfield.net - A must-see and unexplainably priceless comic series. The Garfield comic minus Garfield = brilliant.

doesthedogdie.com - The most important movie question now answered: does the dog/pet die or get injured in this movie?

justinguitar.com - Learn the guitar easily.

pinfruit.com - Need to memorize a lengthy number? Pinfruit analyzes the number and provides all of the options you could want as a mnemonic device.

donothingfor2minutes.com - A simple challenge: Do nothing for 2 minutes. Can you do it?

fallingfalling.com - A slightly unsettling website that uses a Shepard’s Tone to make you feel like you’re falling forever.

kanyezone.com - A flash game where you use your keyboard’s directional arrows to block Kanye’s floating disembodied head, with “Don’t let me into my zone” playing.

fakenamegenerator.com - For when you need a while new (made up) identity.

camelcamelcamel.com - An Amazon price tracker that shows you the price history of anything on Amazon and alerts you when the price drops.

payphone-project.com/mailboxes/ - Tells you where the closest USPS mailbox is to wherever you are.

acountkiller.com - Shows you exactly how to close any social media account forever, not just disable them.

kuler.adobe.com - Find complementary color palettes with this Adobe color wheel.

rasterbater.net - Make printable multi-page posters from any image.

cosmosontv.com - This amazingly simple site that gives you some interactive perspective on the size of the universe.

fliptext.org - Write upside down!

prettycolors.tumblr.com - A blog full of pretty colors (and their color codes) as selected by the Tumblr community.

ripetrack.com - Find out when your favorite produce is at peak ripeness.

manualslib.com - A handy library of PDF user manuals for almost anything.

gifprint.com - Turn any animated gif into a printable flip book.

coursera.org - Take the world’s best courses online for free.

nophonetrees.com - Get through to a real person by entering a company name.

corgiorgy.com - Just a magic place on the internet full of corgis and happiness.

cleverbot.com - Have fun conversations with artificial intelligence.

freecycle.org - A site with communities across the globe dedicated to giving away unwanted things for free.

stumbleupon.com - A website dedicated to letting it’s users discover new and interesting websites. You can search by a category that you are interested in and then “stumble” through the web.

kongregate.com - A flash game website with every flash game imaginable. This is an addictive, but fun, way to kill time.

myfridgefood.com - Enter all the food in your fridge and find out what you can make with it.

nickreboot.com - A continuous stream of 90’s Nickelodeon shows and cartoons.

snesfun.com - Play almost every single old Nintendo game imaginable.

blahtherapy.com - Vent about your problems to an anonymous, total stranger.

unfurlr.com - Find out where a shortened URL goes.

copypastecharacters.com - Copy special characters that aren’t on your keyboard.

zerodollarmovies.com - Find full length movies on YouTube.

printwhatyoulike.com - Print web pages without the clutter.

dafont.com - An awesome collection of fonts you can download.

draw.io - To create diagrams and flowcharts in your browser, then export your drawings to Google Drive and Dropbox.

lmgtfy.com - When your friends are too lazy to Google a problem for themselves.

fiverr.com - Hire people to do little tasks/things for $5.

downforeveryoneorjustme.com - Find out if a website is offline or not.

notes.io - The easiest way to write short text notes in your browser.

myfonts.com/whatthefont - Quickly determine the font name from an image.

cat-bounce.com - Bouncing cats!

similarsites.com - Discover new sites that are similar to what you like already.

trending.ly - Trending articles and content from around the web.

nowyoukno.tumblr.com - Interesting facts and photosets posted daily!