know-control

6

Forgive me, Marian. I am not myself.

I am still emotionally compromised. I thought I’d be over with it, but I was so wrong. It’s so interesting how a man I only saw on TV shows and movies can affect me like this.

I think everytime I heard “Leonard Nimoy” or “Star Trek” or “Spock” my heart will break once more.

I felt like a ship without anchor, and now I’m still processing this fact. I don’t know what I’ll be like when I finally accept this.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I hate to ask, but what did the Garrus fandom do?

Unfortunately, the majority of Kaidan hate comes from Garrus fans for some reason, and since he’s my favorite LI and overall character, you can see why eventually it would just make me a little salty. I don’t want to have to associate his fans with his character but it’s not always something you can consciously control, you know?

But also on a more personal level, sexual Garrus things make me extremely uncomfortable. I’m not sure why, but it’s always squicked me out immensely to the point of physical discomfort, and a lot of Shakarian things in the fandom are sexual and I just want to distance myself as much as possible.

BINHWAN Fanfics

So, I just got into a new ship- the very first one after Daejae that I actually write about, and that’s saying a lot.

Well, here’s a few fics I’ve written for the ship:

OF SIGN AND SYMBOL 101 (Binhwan/fluff/oneshot)

Just maybe, both of them are kind of dense. Period.

CAPTAIN, O, CAPTAIN! (Binhwan/fluff/oneshot)

Kim Hanbin likes everything to be perfect, he likes to be in control and knowing full well that it is all in the right places. But, little surprises in the form of Kim Jinwan are always gladly welcomed.


Yep, my daejae fics are still waiting to be updated… and here I am in the middle of writing another Binhwan… #getkicked

youreternalrealist asked:

Sexual sunday question for you! How likely would it be that you would allow yourself to complete submit to a sexual partner? If you trusted them enough, would you allow them to take full control? Knowing, of course, that you are the one that /can/ end it should you become uncomfortable? [you can answer this ooc for Rogers, if you want, or ic]

Answering this OOC because if I did it IC, Rogers would tell you
to mind your own business.

He’s never submitted. There have been times he’s bottomed, but
to completely MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY submit to someone,
it terrifies him. He’s had control ripped from him when he was
encased in ice, and to be put in that situation again has him feeling
repulsed and instantly on the defense. He might one day, might
need to be forced into a certain mindset to calm him down but I
don’t really know. Rogers is selfish, and enjoys possessing control
too much to let it up. 

But who’s to say he won’t connect with someone and grant them
a gift like that??

Control

I was born

I was raised

I was hurt

I was praised


I need control

I have control

I am in control


No one was there

To help me through

No one cared

Or very few


I need control

I have control

I am in control


I was fit

I was smart

I felt pain

It wouldn’t part


I need control

I have control

I am in control


Things went well

Things went bad

I lived in a shell

I was so sad


I need control

I have control

I am in control


My life changed

As did I

My world was cruel

I didn’t know why


I need control

I have control

I am in control


Things are different

I must be open

Now I share this

I never would’ve then


I need control

I have control

I am in control


I go through life

Day by day

Not knowing what’ll come

Things happen as they may


I don’t need control

I want control

But am I in control?

On Sunday December 17, 2012, 2 days after the CT shooting, a man went to a restaurant in San Antonio to kill his ex-girlfriend. After he shot her, most of the people in the restaurant fled next door to a theater. The gunman followed them and entered the theater so he could shoot more people. He started shooting and people in the theater started running and screaming. It’s like the Aurora, CO theater story plus a restaurant!

Now aren’t you wondering why this isn’t a lead story in the national media along with the school shooting?

There was an off duty county deputy at the theater. SHE pulled out her gun and shot the man 4 times before he had a chance to kill anyone. So since this story makes the point that the best thing to stop a bad person with a gun is a good person with a gun, the media is treating it like it never happened.

Only the local media covered it. The city is giving her a medal next week. 

Just thought you’d like to know.

8
2

"Oh, no no, that’s not a question I need answered."

okay, so, I know the party scene clip was super edited and chopped up and obviously had bits left out and there’s no reason to believe that what we did see was even put back together in the right order - but I still can’t get over the fact that they cut from Natasha’s line straight to this Thor reaction shot. I still can’t stop seeing that look as “eh, you might be surprised,” like, “yeah, you probably can’t move it, but you might surprise yourself.” because if there’s anyone who knows what it’s like to not be worthy, it’s Thor - more important than that though, if there’s anyone who’s intimately acquainted with what it’s like to become worthy, it’s Thor (hell, he’s got an entire movie devoted to it). and it’s obvious to him that none of the others will be able to lift Mjolnir - not “I. Am. Iron. Man.”-Tony, not good-soldier-Rhodey, not always-angry-Bruce, not Maria and her secrets, not Clint and his leftover guilt, not even Steve, still reeling from the loss of his world and stuck in this new future one, wrapped up in worries about Bucky.

but Natasha, Natasha, who has been through hell and kept going, Natasha, who has thought nothing could ever make amends for what she’s done and kept trying, Natasha, who has taken on gods and monsters alike, who has used her own body as a shield for others when there was nothing else left and kept fighting - if there’s anybody else in that room who is worthy, it just might be Natasha, and Thor knows it.

8

the lost princes of asgard

2

It can’t protect, it only destroys.