know you're history

“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.

Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.

“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.” 

He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him. 

“What’s this?”

“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”

“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch.  Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer. 

“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”

Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines. 

“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”

“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see. 

“You know he didn’t.”

Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”


“How would that go?”


“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.

“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.

“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”

“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”

“Good one.”

“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”

“High school? Maybe never.”

“That can’t be right.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”

“I’ll wait.”

Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”

Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”

“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”

Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”

Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”

“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.



“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”

Keep reading

Wang Eun’s Birthday Party BTS cut

Sunwoo: *wanted to feed Baekhyun cucumber*
Baekhyun: *suddenly went blank and stopped acting* err I don’t eat cucumber.
Director: Cut!
All the co-casts started laughing. 😂
Baekhyun: /explains/ I really don’t eat cucumber.

Just Madison Things™ that Eric Bittle does

Because of these posts and my non-existant self control

  • the nearest real city is Athens and if you think Bitty isn’t there every weekend there’s football you’re wrong
  • should win the Slowest Walker award. its more an amble or a stroll
  • would never ever pass anyone on the street and even more so never on the stairs. it’s bad luck.
  • dirt roads mean washing his truck more than should be humanly possible, but also driving fast down a dirt road so you don’t feel every bump when it’s all washborded out
  • more on roads- what in the ever loving hell is a snowplow???
  • even more on roads- why the hell would you ever jaywalk? to where???? the garbage can so you can throw away some stranger’s litter? (Bless their sweet little darlin’ heart!)
  • is in denial that the Atlanta Thrashers ever left. They’re just on a long off season.
  • stops to talk to anyone at any time. Had a class together once freshman year before you dropped it three days in? Bitty is gonna ask about your momma and your dog because “Lord honey, that’s just how you do things”
  • going to Murder Stop n Shop means ‘going into town’ 
  • is frankly apalled at the lack of farm stands on the side of the road
  • Thank The Lord there aren’t half a dozen of those awful ‘southern charm’ boutiques on the square- probably because there’s no square
  • complains that there are no antebellum homes to decorate at Christmas and make the cold less awful
  • making friends with history nerds read: Jack Zimmermann and informing him that Madison was the only city spared on Sherman’s March to the Sea because it’s the only Georgia history he knows

You have to understand, Flynn is out of control. If this one death can save hundreds… Save Rittenhouse, you mean.

I have two sets of bookshelves one is for history (and history related) books the other is for fiction…. and I have so many history books that they’ve spilled onto the fiction shelf 😅

forcing and sexualizing a topic about/and on a person who used the term as a literal meaning of father/dad is completely uncalled for and is honestly one of the shittiest things i will probably ever witness. if the idol you claim to care about has asked you to stop your disgusting and twisted jokes - then its time to fucking stop your disgusting and twisted jokes. i hope you know you made a happy and meaningful situation for your idols both uncomfortable and very unpleasant - you may now chuck yourself in a hole. jackasses.

mystereoheart  asked:

hey! now that i know you're a general art history nerd, do you have any analyses about the Madonna With the Long Neck by Parmigianino? I hate on this painting so much any time the subject of mannerism comes up but every time I visit the Uffizi I have to visit it, it makes me laugh and cry tears of frustration and I can't help but love it a lot. It's just a beautifully rendered goddamn mess. I was wondering if you had any insights?

Hey! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this! I’ve been caught up in school, but I didn’t mean to put it off for so long!

Anyhow, I actually LOVE Madonna with a Long Neck. Haha! That being said, I ALSO agree that it is a “beautifully rendered mess”- but that’s part of why I love it. For anyone reading this response who doesn’t know what we’re talking about, here is “Madonna with a Long Neck” by Paramigianino from 1535-1540:

There’s definitely a lot about this that is distinctly wtf. The weird composition with everyone pushed up to the front, the strange, incomplete architecture in the background, the strange dude in the right corner that looks tiny and far away but the longer you look the more it seems like he’s actually much close and just abnormally tiny like a barbie doll. The terrifying, giant baby Jesus that looks a few steps away from being a Silent Hill monster…. There’s…. a lot going on here.

So this painting is one of the most well-known and typical paintings in what is called the Mannerist tradition of art (as you already mentioned in your ask). I will preface by saying that I haven’t studied Mannerism extensively so I may be a bit off on a few points, but what I will say is that Mannerism is WEIRD. It’s important to note that while there was a particular trend of art style in this time which is denoted as “mannerist”, the artists themselves didn’t come up with the term or defined “movement”. 

“Mannerism” was a term applied by later art historians who came up with it from an except in Vasari’s Lives of the Artist’s about Michelangelo. Vasari referred to Michelangelo’s individual and idiosyncratic style as his “maniera” in reference to his particular handling. (Not that Michelangelo is considered a mannerist- this is just where historians got the term. This is important to note because the sort of post-definition of the art movement means that he artists themselves weren’t necessarily working with a set of rules defining the “movement” they were a part of, and so mannerist paintings can vary wildly. 

The main definer of Mannerism, though, is the sort of decadence which led to a distinct sense of artificiality to the work. I mean look at the painting up there: the lushness of the fabrics, the compressed and therefore almost chaotic but beautiful composition of figures, the elongated anatomy and poor sense of gravity- Baby Jesus looks like he’s in the middle of straight up dropping off of her lap and onto the ground. 

Perfect example? Look at that angel in the front’s leg. It’s out there like BAM. Saucy. It’s like Angelina Jolie’s leg at the Oscars- and like Jolie’s leg, the effect is both dramatic and beautiful while also being so performative and jarring that it’s ridiculous at the same time and you can’t help but laugh.

But that’s just it. That’s what I love about Mannerist paintings: their artificiality and almost parody-level dramatics are so perfectly balanced with the beautiful elements that you’re not quite sure if the ridiculousness was intentional or not. Look at another classic example of Mannerism to drive the point home. 

Venus, Cupid, Folly, and Time, by Bronzino from 1545:

Like…. Holy shit. There is…… I don’t even know where to begin with this cacophony of confusing, vaguely terrifying/vaguely erotic shit right here. Somehow, the longer you look, the pre-teen-looking Eros with a spine made of silly puttie casually getting to second base with his own mom is the LEAST unsettling thing here.

But I don’t know. It’s certainly an engaging painting. And despite the numerous classically technical flaws, it’s extremely technically impressive at the same time.

For me, what I’ve always liked about Mannerism is that I’ve always kind of thought of it as a sort of pseudo-pre-surrealism. 

So that was probably a way longer answer than you wanted, but it’s pretty difficult for me to not go on endlessly about art history.

general psa: shinto shrines & buddhist temples are different. it’s unwise to just lump them together as one. 

22:34 // my organised mess, trying to get my life and my studies back on track today.

Stay positive my lovelies 🍇

One of the most liberating feelings in the world is realizing you don’t owe anyone shit

You don’t have to be friends with someone who treats you like crap even if you’ve known them your whole life. You don’t even owe them an explanation either. You get to choose who gets to be in your life. It’s a privilege, not a birth given right. 

If someone is hurting you or just flat out annoying, you don’t have to give them the time of day. Please cut the shitty people out of your life and surround yourself with awesome ones who make you happy. You deserve nothing but happiness and anyone who brings you down doesn’t deserve to be in it.