know that i went out laughing and crying at the same time

okay i won’t spoil anything because there are a fair few changes from the original but if you go to see beauty and the beast trust me and take tissues bc you’ll need to wipe your eyes multiple times for multiple emotions, i went in a group of five and at one point we were all crying at the same time and people were staring at us but i DONT CARE

and i just made my friend go on a ghost train with me and she didn’t know what to expect and her reaction throughout the whole thing was the funniest fucking thing i keeled over laughing when we got out and i’m still laughing about it now as i’m heading for the train home

this is without a doubt one of those days i’ll look back on when i’m feeling down, it’s been so so so good for so many reasons and i hope you’ve all had lovely days too!!!!!!

i’m so happy and smiley and giggly rn

Episode 64

There have always been moments during Critical Role where I would cry.

Either because I was laughing too much, because Laura starts crying - I don’t know why but when she cries I just do the same for some reason - or when Pike left the group because Ashley went to film for Blindspot.

But those moments, even though they hurt, were okay in the end.

This week was different.

I was actually hoping they would go to Marquette because I had a bad feeling about going to Draconia. Not necessarily because of what VM would find but because of Vorugal. Even after it was clear he couldn’t be there because he was still on his way back, I just had a bad feeling about it.

I’m aware that, if they went to Marquette, they and also we might have never found out.

Matt said he talked about it with Orion back in December. He knew all the time and maybe, depending on the outcome of the voting, the coin flip, the checks, no one would’ve known how close they were.

When Percy got the whisper I didn’t notice it. I rewatched that moment later but saw pics on Twitter and you could see it on his face. He noticed something bad.

I was probably as confused as the rest of the cast when he began asking about the bodies and then said to take one down from the spikes. Somehow it never occurred to me it could’ve been Tiberius. Yes, with Draconia being attacked and no word from him a small voice inside of me expected it. But not like this. I always thought that while Draconia was attacked, he would be fine. Somewhere. And maybe one day they would get a letter from him. Even after the scrying there was still a bit of hope.

That hope had been completely destroyed that night though.

“The robes look familiar.”

The moment Matt said that I lost it. I started crying and I didn’t stop even after the rebroadcast started. Hell, I still cry about it.

Tiberius was never my favorite character and I didn’t miss him much when he was gone. Of course there were moments where I thought “I wish Tiberius was here”. But that was it. Because in my mind he was still in this world.

While I’m sad about everything, I’m also kind of happy about this end. Because we know. Because Vox Machina knows. Because it’s a fitting end for this character.

He died while trying to save his home.

Something everyone of Vox Machina would do.

I love Matt for his story telling. I love the cast for their characters. But I’m afraid of what is yet to come and the fact I got so attached to a character that was far from being my favorite and hasn’t appeared for months.

I’m afraid to loose someone else.

Childhood friends

One day we both went back to the place where it all started. I saw you at the exact same spot where we used to go to everyday when we were young. Minutes passed by without anyone of us uttering a word. I didn’t know what were you thinking that very moment. But as for me, I just was staring at a blank space until a series of memories suddenly flashback. 

I started crying. 

Then you asked my why. I immediately wiped my tears and laughed. I said, “nothing.” You looked away as if you didn’t care at all. So I bowed down my head and felt sad. I started crying again. Until, out of nowhere, you held my hand. You held it so tightly. 

Then you began talking. You told me how much you miss the old times. You told me how you miss me. You told me everything I’ve been dying to hear from you. Finally, you told me you love me but …

you also told me that someone already replaced me in your heart and that this is goodbye. Slowly, you let go of your hand and walked away.