knock knock jokes

What’s in a meme?

okay, so more on the humans are weird tag, I’m thinking of doing one of my own every day what do you think? anyway todays is, yep you guessed it: memes.
not necessarily just memes though, just jokes in general. memes were just my starting thought, but hey, let’s go from what seems like the logical start.
How weird are human jokes? Like, we have some which just don’t make sense, like i don’t know if anyone else has seen that “No, two goat is too much” post [that probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else but i know what joke I’m talking about] but even if you don’t know that post i’m sure you’ve seen them around, those posts that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, but you laugh ridiculously hard at.

another type of jokes: puns. why do we find them funny??? don’t get me wrong, i love them, but why? I’ve been thinking about it for a solid two minutes and i can’t even come up with an accurate definition of puns. in times like this i often turn to google:
pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings
like honestly, we just went “Hey, these two words sound similar but mean two completely different things, that’s hillarious!”k knock

Some of our jokes don’t even have answers! like what’s that about?
And what about the jokes that aren’t even jokes, like why did the chicken cross the road? imagine how confused they’d be
and what about knock knock jokes? i’d probably go something like this:
Human: hey Jeff, knock knock

Alien: Why are you knocking, isn’t knocking something done, not something verbally spoken, have i misunderstood the concept of knocking?
Human: No. no, no, not at all, it’s a joke
Alien: a… joke?

Human: yeah, I say knock knock, and then you say who’s there. after that I’ll answer and you repeat what i said but with who on the end, and then i answer that. do you get it.

Alien, I believe i understand human!Jack, you will knock i will ask who is there, you shall say your name and i shall ask you to clarify. is a joke a training exercise of some kind? a way to make sure we answer in an apropriate way?

Human: no, not really, like I won’t reply with my name, i’ll reply with something else
Alien: Ah! so we are always open to new names and outcomes, genius!

Human: Erm, no not exactly, let’s let’s just try it
Alien: Excelent, I am excited!

Human: knock knock:

Alien: Who is there?

Human: Isabelle

Alien: Isabelle who?

Human: Is the bell broken? i had to knock!

Alien: What a wonderful name, do please come in Isabelle broken i had to knock.

Human:…

Alien: What a wonderful exercise, we should do these “jokes” more often! [walks away]
Human: …

yeah, you see how it might get confusing.

alright, now it’s time to get to what I’m sure is the reason you’re here: memes.
memes make no sense, and you might think that would go under non-sensical jokes, but what more got me thinking, was how memes die. like, after a wile, a meme just dies out, everyone moves on and people don’t really think of them as funny anymore, what’s with that? like maybe they’ll think jokes are a seasonal thing just imagine:
Alien: Ah, yes i saw one of those “Forcefully removed” jokes the other day, and i brought it here to show you
Human: Oh, those aren’t funny anymore.
Alien: Oh, is this one not up to par?

Human: no, not that, just all of them

Alien: but it was before?

Human: Yeah, those were the shit a few months ago

Alien: Then why stop? is it seasonal? do jokes have a cycle? Is it because it’ aimed at different age groups?
Human: no, none of that, it just is.

Alien: …

anyway, not very well explained, but you get my point.

now Imagine a crew that’s pretty used to the humans, they can differentiate between jokes and serious, a few of them get the jokes even, they enjoy the jokes. then imagine one of the crew members likes dark humour, maybe they start telling anti jokes

Human: hey, wanna hear a joke?

Alien: Ooh, yes!

Human: A man walks into a bar

Alien: ooh, i love these ones

Human: His alcoholism is ruining his life and his family is falling apart.

Alien: wait what

as i said, human humour is weird. tomorrow, I’ll get into fashion.

  • Hufflepuff: Hey Sly, Knock knock!
  • Slytherin, cautiously: Who's there?
  • Hufflepuff: Kiss
  • Slytherin: Kiss who?
  • Hufflepuff: Kiss me.
  • Slytherin: Did you just-
  • Slytherin: Did you just confess to me via knock knock joke?

McCree: knock knock

Hanzo: What?

McCree: you’re supposed to say who’s there

Hanzo: why would I say that? There is no door and I am literally sitting next to you.

McCree: its a joke…

Hanzo: that doesn’t make any sense

(McCree walks out door then knocks)

McCree: knock knock

Hanzo: no one is home.

Here are some composer knock-knock jokes

knock
who’s there?
knock k
who’s there?
knock kn
WHO is there?
knock kno
WHO’S THERE???
knock knoc
OH MY GOSH WHO IS THERE ARE ALREADY?
knock knock
IS THIS SOME KIND OF PHILIP GLASS JOKE?
yes

Knock Knock?
Who’s the-BOOM!
TCHAIKOVSKY

-knock knock knock knock
knock knock knock knock
knock KNOCK knock KNOCK
knock knock knock knock
-Oh my gosh Stravinsky

-knooooooooooooooooooooooock knooooooock
       oooooooooooooooooooooock knooooooock
             ooooooooooooooooooock knooooooock
                       oooooooooooooock knooooooock
-Eric Whitacre, how can you even knock like that?

-Knock__ knock__ *trashcan* *ORGAAAANNN* (all of which is over a different knock-knock ostinato)
-Oh gosh, who is it?
-John Mackey

(and this last one is my personal favorite)

Knock knock
Who’s there?
…..
John Cage, is that you?
Knock Knock.
Uh, who’s there?
…..
Oh Beethoven! Come in!

Knock Knock Jokes
  • Tony: Knock Knock.
  • Stephen: ...Who's there??
  • Tony: Honeydew.
  • Stephen: Honeydew who??
  • Tony: Honeydew you know how fiiinnnneeee you look?? <3 ;)
  • Stephen: *facepalms while blushing of embarrassment*
5sos Fam

The 5SOSFam used to be 5sosFUN but now we aren’t 5sosFINE

*dramatically plays amnesia*

  • Harry: Knock Knock
  • Draco: I don't understand
  • Harry: Ask who's there
  • Draco: What are you talking about?
  • Harry: Imagine someone is knocking at the door
  • Draco: Why would I be answering the door?
  • Harry: Humour me
  • Draco: Ugh, fine. Who's there?
  • Harry: Canoe
  • Draco: What?
  • Harry: *sighs* Say who
  • Draco: Who
  • Harry: No, say Canoe who
  • Draco: Canoe who
  • Harry: Canoe help me with my homework?
  • Draco: ... what's a canoe?
  • Harry: It's a- it doesn't matter. Gimme your notes
The Knock Knock Joke (Thor x Reader, Loki x Reader) Drabble

This is super short, but I needed to get it out of my system. I apologize for any depression you get.


You were staring the God of Thunder down in the living room of the Avengers Tower. Between the two of you, you were trying to see who could come up with the best/worst jokes. Whoever laughed first had to tell Tony that they were the one who “accidentally” filled his pool up with 25 million Orbeez. Needless to say, it was a battle of the wills.

Loki was casually sitting on the floor in front of your chair, leaning against your legs and reading a book. He, unfortunately, wasn’t a part of the Orbeez ordeal…not that he would “stoop so low as to participate in childish jokes” anyway.

“What do you call a cow that jumps over barb wires instead of the moon?” Thor asked, his deep voice rumbling and he smirked, quirking an eyebrow, thinking that he finally had you with this one. It had been 58, now 59 minutes of this back and forth.

Your eyes narrowed, having heard this one before…and you knew you were going to have to hold in laughter. “What do you call them?” you asked, lifting your hand to cover your mouth, hoping you could get away with it. Catching on to what you were doing, Thor smacked your hand away and as a result, Loki summoned a knife, casually twirling it between his long fingers, the threat evident…all without looking away from his book.

Thor eyed the knife nervously, visibly gulping before composing himself. “Utter desctru—wait, no,” Thor paused, trying to remember the punchline, his brows furrowing as he was thinking over it over. “No, it’s udder destruction.”

Relieved he slipped, you let out a small sigh, smirking at the god at his failure. “Hm, seems like you need to  work on the deliverance, brother.”

He scowled at your teasing before he reclined in his chair, crossing his legs and picking up his pint of beer to sip at. “I believe it’s your turn, sister.”

Thinking for a moment, rolling through the useless facts in your head, you finally remembered the one you wanted. Giving Thor the evilest smile you could muster, your hands under your chin and leaned forward. “Knock *pause* knock.”

He scowled, hating knock knock jokes. He claimed that was cheating. “Who’s there?”

“To?”

“To who?”

Loki finally looked up from the book he was reading, scowling. “To WHOM.”

Both Thor and you looked at each other in surprise, eyes wide and mouths hanging open in an unattractive manner.  Loki gave us a smug look before returning to his book as if he had never said anything.

You were the first to break out into laughter, Thor following in suit.

Looked like you both lost and would have to face the wrath of “the Man of Iron” together.



I have NO regrets.

When Harry Makes A Joke

Harry: Knock knock.

Louis: No.

Harry: Knock knock.

Louis: Please don’t.

Harry: Knock knock.

Louis: *sigh* Who is there?

Louis: *mumbling* As if I don’t already know.

Harry: I love.

Louis: *Deeper sigh* I love who?

Harry: I love you!!!

Louis: I want a divorce.