knock knock who

Rise From the Ashes just happened in real time; I’m a little late, but I knew I had to do something for my favorite case in the series, and the best sisters. <3

  • Chris: Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Yurio: why?
  • Chris: To get to the idiot's house. knock knock.
  • Yurio: Who's there?
  • Chris: The chicken.
  • Yurio:
  • Chris:
  • Yurio:
  • Chris:
  • Yurio: I won't punch you in the face on one condition.
  • Chris: ...yeah?
  • Yurio: Go tell that joke to JJ.
  • Sombra: Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Widowmaker: Why?
  • Sombra: To get to the idiot's house. Knock knock.
  • Widowmaker: Who's there?
  • Sombra: The chicken.
  • Widowmaker:
  • Sombra:
  • Widowmaker:
  • Sombra:
  • Widowmaker: I won't punch you in the face on one condition.
  • Sombra: ... yeah?
  • Widowmaker: Go tell that joke to Reyes.
The signs as WTNV proverbs

Aries: “There’s a difference between your, you’re, and yarn. Yarn isn’t even pronounced the same way. It’s a completely different word.”

Taurus: “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say your mother’s in the hospital? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Listen, I’ll drive you over there. We’ll leave right now. Grab a coat, it’s a little cold out. I’m so sorry.”

Cancer: “You won’t sleep when you’re dead, either.”

Leo: “At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire.”

Virgo: “You can’t get blood from a turnip. Listen you need some blood? I can totally get you some blood. Set that turnip down and follow me to the blood. There’s a lot of blood.”

Sagittarius: “Ignore all the haters telling you that everything isn’t a sandwich. Everything is a sandwich.”

Aquarius: “Feeling lost? Like you have no goal in life? Like you’re covered in dirt and wet leaves? Like you’re an earthworm? Are you an earthworm? Kinda sounds like you’re an earthworm, actually.“

Capricorn: “Soccer is also commonly known as football, Canadian baseball, American football, violent jogging, and World War II.”

Gemini: “Everything that happens, happens for a reason. Except ostriches. What the hell, man?

Libra:  “Please keep all arms and legs inside the car at all times. Also, you are under arrest. Why is your car full of limbs? Whose are these?”

Pisces:  “Listen, I’m not a hero. The real heroes are the people that point out to us when protesters have smart phones, thus invalidating all concerns.”

Scorpio: “Thank you for your interest in a life free of pain. We are not accepting applications at this time. Please try again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again…”

fic: time may change me

ok, this is a shameless fluff AU based on this comic about Victor and Yuuri meeting as kids by @aguas-ucia. ENJOY.


time may change me

7 and 11

Victor cries on the plane the whole way home. The air stewardess gives him a sweet. The other passengers give Yakov dirty looks. Victor tries to calm down, he really does, but Yuuri was so cute, and he liked skating so much, and he burst into tears when Victor left and now Victor will never see him again.

“Make that child be quiet,” snaps Lilia in the end. Victor is barely even making noise, he is just sniffling into Yakov’s sleeve.

“If he’s a skater, Vitya, you’ll see him at competitions,” says Yakov gruffly.

“What if he doesn’t compete?” says Victor tearfully.

“Then you’d better just win,” says Yakov. “That way he’ll know who you are anyway.” He cuffs the back of Victor’s head. Victor knows he’s not really serious about it, but it makes him feel better anyway.

_

8 and 12

Victor sees a lady who looks familiar for some reason in the stands, but it’s not until he spots the chubby-faced boy out on the ice that he thinks Yuuri’s mom! and then Yuuri! “Hi!” he yells, waving frantically the minute he’s on the ice. “Hi, Yuuri!”

Keep reading

  • Nursey: Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Lardo: Why?
  • Nursey: To get to the idiot's house. Knock knock.
  • Lardo: Who's there?
  • Nursey: The chicken.
  • Lardo:
  • Nursey:
  • Lardo:
  • Nursey:
  • Lardo: I won't punch you in the face on one condition.
  • Nursey: ...Yeah?
  • Lardo: Go tell that joke to Dex.