HEY IT’S A (really late) VALENTINE’S DAY SEQUEL TO THIS! You should really look at that to understand what’s going on, but as a quick backstory to this, Adrien found out the scarf he thought his dad gave him was from Marinette, it upset him too much so he gave it back to her.
And then I hated that it was just angst so I made this to make up for it? What started as a one page thing turned into a too-many-pages thing. Hence being like… 2 weeks later for V-day. Oh well! Enjoy!
Where freshly minted Captain Kirkreads up on stuff evenwhen he’s not on shift and nods off in random conference rooms on the Enterprise. Certain first officers who don’t require as much sleep take care of things.
I love you. You’re wonderful and fabulous and energized about seeing a cool project on the inter-webs and have finally said “yes! I think I could do that! This is the one that will get me into knitting/crochet” With all the excitement and joy in the world you go to the craft store, grab the coolest looking yarn (in the best color, duh) and the cheapest needles/hook you can find (If if needles are too intimidating, you opt for the knitting loom. It comes in a 3 pack! score!). You follow the instructions as best you can with dreams of your project turning out exactly like the professionally taken photograph. Oh my naive, beautiful newbie yarn bender, you are on a craft high. Head so far in the clouds that you don’t realize what has happened until it’s done. We’ve all been here at some point, no matter how skilled a person is.
My lovelies. Please learn from the mistakes that have already happened. Take the time to learn about gauge and value the materials needed. I am most definitely NOT saying buy the most expensive stuff. I am saying that skien of yarn that is one dollar more will likely make you enjoy the finished product bounties more than the value of one dollar.
Take the top picture. This was most definitely made on a knitting loom. Im personally not a huge advocate of these. They’re great for learning how knitting works. Not great for endless feats of creativity. You’re limited by the size of the loom which limits you to the size of the yarn as well as the size of the object you make. For something that will not ladder (the long horizontal bits between the “V” stitches) you need yarn thick enough to touch the stitch next to it when wrapped around the loom. In the case of the photo, yarn far too thin was used.
The next picture looks like it could be arm knitting. Which was a fad I loved. Can we bring this back instead of those pony tail hats? The larger the needle, in this case your arm, the larger yarn you need. The original appears to have multiple yarns being used. Perhaps our newbie knitter didn’t realize that’s an option? Lesson here: Larger needles, larger yarn. Smaller needles, smaller yarn.
The last picture. This crocheted hippo went through the stretcher! oh no! This is a case of right yarn, wrong size hook. When your needle/hook is larger than your yarn and you put it under tension (in this case, stuffing it) the created fabric will stretch (more-so demonstrated in the first picture). Amigurumi is also hard as shit. The people who do it very well are incredible talented. We should all bow before their prowess. Please don’t try an amigurumi (small figurine knitting/crochet) as your first or even 5th project!
General rule of thumb: if you don’t want holes in your work look for yarn and needle/hook approx same size in diameter.
Alas, you have returned for the craft store. Heading the advice you’ve gotten complimentary yarn and needle/hook. TIME TO START THE CRAFT JUICE!
“but whyyyy?” you whine
Because we must first test the yarn.
“But tests are boooooring” says the yarn.
I agree, talking yarn. Tests are boring and terrible and holy crap tell you if you’re doing something right or wrong. This is useful information to know before creating something beautiful with your HANDS.
Also my dear newbie yarn bender, practice makes a better yarn bender. Resist the urge to pump out something fast. Pinterst lied to you. It’s not going to take 1 hour. It will take at least 3 hours and two trips to the craft store. Accept this now. Knitting/crochet is slow ASF. Accept this now. Or find a different hobby.
So loop on some stitches and knit or crochet your joyous heart out. Then measure it once you get around 5 inches. Count the stitches horizontally and vertically. Then refer to the chart above and make sure everything agrees. Got 12 stitches per 4 inches and using DK (3) yarn? Time to change needles sizes or get your gorgeous self some bulky yarn. Or get yourself some bulky yarn anyhow. Treat yo’self.
i love you newbie yarn benders! Go forth and create and learn
Knit a stitch, crochet a row, make just a little progress on your current project. If you don’t have a project find a pattern, even if it’s just to stare at it in longing. Just a little progress every day keeps your project from falling into dust and disinterest.
so sometimes i think about harry potter being in the aurors and like
he’d never really thought about child protective services, muggle or otherwise, cause it’d never been relevant, right? like when he was a miserable kid he just thought that was what it was like being an orphan. but then he sees cases come through the department where parents are murdered and there’s kids sitting in their waiting room with copies of the quibbler and water waiting while an auror sits down with a family tree and tries to find whatever relatives this kid might have in the wizarding world, going back maybe even five generations to find anyone living and vaguely related to this child to drop them off with
and he goes to shit apartments in diagon alley after noise complaints and finds children who are black and blue with hexed, bleeding skin who insist they were just playing with a weasley’s wizard wheeze, no really mr. potter
and he thinks about how merope gaunt stumbled into a muggle orphanage and left them a child who would grow up learning fear was the key to harmony, and becoming a god meant safety
and really, how was the headmaster of a school the person who made the call about where he ended up, how was the system so haphazard that a man who wouldn’t be part of his life for another ten years got to make the biggest decision of his life
harry thinks about his cupboard
and then harry potter sits down with hermione and ron and neville (cause of course neville would want a stake in this) and says, “we need to change the wizarding world again.”
Over the last 2 days i designed, draped, and sewed a dress. I really like it. It’s deep red shot cotton and I eked it out of just two yards of 44″ wide fabric, which I’m really proud of. It’s the first dress I’ve made in over two years, and I just feel good about it.
But I had a lot of Thoughts about Bodies and Clothes while making it.
See, I started seriously garment sewing when I was 19 and deeply, troublingly insecure about my body. I’ll be upfront here: I wear a 30GG. I have a lot of boob, extremely narrow shoulders and ribcage, a short waist and a lot of hip, and just generally a lot going on for 5′3″. I started garment sewing because I wasn’t happy with the fit of off the rack clothes. I didn’t fully realize, then, just how detailed my knowledge of my own shapes would have to be to do this thing right.
So where am I going with this? I drafted a bodice. I draped a bodice. The fit isn’t perfect, because I’m really rusty, but it’s plenty good enough.
(you can see in the above photo that I didn’t get the bust dart placement quite right)
The point is that I started sewing at 19 because I was scared of my body. What I have learned in the intervening years is just how empowering knowing about your own body can be. It’s one thing to know that your shoulders are narrow and your bust is huge; I think most cis women know those sorts of things about their bodies and that’s part of the insecurity.
But what is empowering is knowing how to make clothes that actually fit those shapes. You know: instead of a dress that is baggy in the shoulders and bursting across the chest, I can have a dress that hits my collarbone right and is a little blousy. I don’t even have WORDS for how much this has meant to me over the last few years.
I’m mainly a knitter these days, but this applies here too. Choosing a sweater pattern? I can go one size down for the yoke and one size up for the chest. See how the raglan lines on this sweater hit my collarbones but the chest isn’t tight?
GO MAKE STUFF. FIGHT THE PATRIARCHY. TRUST YOURSELF. It helps. It really does.
(This is real dumb but i need it out here in the open)
-whizzer literally can drink his weight in alcohol and suffer from no hangover whatsoever the next day hes a god
-this does not apply to marvin.
-trina gets a call from the police station at 1 in the morning asking if she knew these two men, they said they did and they’d been out far past an acceptable time in the park and it was dangerous
-trina drives all the way to the police station and sees Marvin and Whizzer, who upon seeing trina, start giggling like little kids at her face of pure disgust
-she throws them in the backseat, and hears whizzer stage whisper, “oooooooh….. Mom’s mad at usssssss….” and Marvins losing it,
-“i will throw you two out so fast” “yes mother”
-the car is relatively silent, trina turns to check on them at a red light, assuming theyve fallen asleep
-she just sighs upon seeing that no, theyve at some point just left the car and she didnt hear them somehow. Shes so tired.
-she backtracks and eventually finds them, walking down the street as if they werent JUST in Trina’s car. marvin’s starting to get fussy, and whizzer’s still laughing at everything for NO reason
-when whizzer sees trina pull up, he screams and goes “god no! Its the wicked witch of the west!” And marvin just completely loses it and its obvious whizzer is pleased with that by the smug look on his face
-at some point whizzer just has no pants on, theres no explanation and the pants are never found.
-trina checks on the two in the mirror the whole way home again, content with the fact theyve practically collapsed on each other, sleeping soundlessly. She almost thought it was sweet. Then she remembered it was whizzer and marvin and she did not think that anymore
-once at home, trina immediately leaves those two idiots to figure out sleeping arrangements themselves, and goes upstairs immediately to bed
-mendel only sleeptalks a question at her as she flops on the bed, asleep the second she feels mendels arm just kinda reach out to lay across her back
-jason walks downstairs that morning, and is elated to see whizzer!!!!
-whizzer, however, is passed out on the floor, practically on top of marvin, face squashed up against Marvin’s chest, and theres marvin, who is as equally asleep as whizzer
-jason takes his time and makes four cups of coffee, setting them down on the counter, a sticky note on each for each person, a little doodle to go along for them, and goes back upstairs
-whizzer wakes up first, the coffee is cold by now, but you kNOW he drinks it all and keeps the sticky note that says “whizzer” with a little chess piece drawn on it for his wallet
-marvin is DYING his head hurts so bad, and whizzer tells him a “family hangover cure” comprised of cinnamon, egg yolks, and baking powder
-marvin (being the fool he is) drinks this, almost pukes, and realizes too late that whizzer has played him for a fool.
- “thats what you get for letting me just lose my pants last night!!” “What????” They argue like this for a while obviously
-mendel greets the two with “oh, hello , people who do not live here!”
-cordelia and charlotte lose it when trina tells the two about what marvin and whizzer were like, and they assure trina that they will NEVER let them live that down