knit and purl

So the other night during D&D, I had the sudden thoughts that:

1) Binary files are 1s and 0s

2) Knitting has knit stitches and purl stitches

You could represent binary data in knitting, as a pattern of knits and purls…

You can knit Doom.

However, after crunching some more numbers:

The compressed Doom installer binary is 2.93 MB. Assuming you are using sock weight yarn, with 7 stitches per inch, results in knitted doom being…

3322 square feet

Factoring it out…302 people, each knitting a relatively reasonable 11 square feet, could knit Doom.

I love reading fics about OTPs having mental bonds and things like that, but they’re always so profound. It’d be so much more entertaining if they still thought like normal people. Imagine this stuff:

  • “You’ve had that song stuck in your head for days. It’s driving me nuts, too.”
  • “Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we’re having sex?”
  • “Is that really what you think about my ass?”
  • “Stop projecting so much belligerent boredom. I love this TV show.”
  • “No, you didn’t forget to lock the door. You can quit fixating on it now.”
  • “Yes, that sounds much better in your head.”
  • “Is that really who you’re daydreaming about naked?”
  • “Less homicidal thoughts about your annoying coworker right now, please. I’m in a meeting over here.”
  • “It’s coffee you’re craving. Go get some. And bring me some. You made me want it, too.”
  • “Thanks for the road rage thoughts. I’ll take the back roads home. See you in an hour.”
  • “If you think ‘knit, knit, purl,’ one more time, I’ll stab you with those needles.”
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Continental Knitting & Purl

transsam  asked:

I was just skimming through your knitting tag out of curiosity bc I've always wanted to learn, and now I have the irresistible urge to pick up knitting. Problem: I have absolutely no clue anything about knitting. Like. Not even the slightest. WHAT DO. I WANT TO JOIN THE KNITTING CLUB. WHERE AND HOW DO I START.

Hey! Welcome to the club! Settle in because knitting is a Thing I Like To Explain and it can get Intense.

So to start ANY knitting, you’re going to need to know three things:

  1. How to cast on;
  2. How to knit a knit stitch; and
  3. How to cast off/bind off (they mean the same thing).

The best way to learn how to do this, IMO, is to knit a scarf. Scarves are easy because you don’t need any fancy techniques, you can make them out of any material, it teaches you the above three basic things, you have to practice the same stitch over and over again because scarves are long, and at the end of it you have a scarf. (If you don’t have the patience for a scarf, you can do a potholder.)

There are three kinds of needles: straight (them’s your classic needles), circular (basically two needles but held together with a plastic cord), and double pointed (they’re pointed on each end instead of having a point and a little bulby thing). Fuck the latter two, we don’t care about them. You’re going to learn on straight needles.

Go out and get yourself decently cheap yarn. This is not the time to get, like, some alpaca cashmere blend. You also want to get yourself a set of needles. I first learned how to knit a scarf using size 10 straight needles and Lion Brand Hometown USA yarn. I like that pairing of yarn and size because it means the scarf gets done quicker and everything is bigger (therefore easier to see). I would get a couple of balls of the same color in case of accidents or if you just want a long scarf. You might also want a needle with a huge eye (they’re usually sold as tapestry or darning needles), a pair of scissors, and maybe a crochet hook for emergencies.

I don’t know if you prefer reading or watching your tutorials. I tend to favor a mix. So:

I am linking you to tutorials for English style knitting. There’s such a thing as Continental style knitting but I don’t know how the fuck it works and therefore I cannot explain it.

So. Get your needles. Cast on like 12 stitches, or however many stitches across as you think good for a thing that goes around your neck. Practice the knit stitch, going back and forth, until you reach the end of the ball (here’s how to add a new ball of yarn and/or a new color if you want to be really daring and try stripes). Doing only knit stitches is called garter stitch. Once it’s long enough for you, bind off.

It will look wonky! It may meander, or be wider in some parts and thinner in others! This is unimportant. It’s a scarf. If you get a hole while knitting, you probably dropped a stitch (here’s how to fix it) or accidentally added a stitch with yarn-over (in which case you will probably need to frog).  

You’ll notice I’m not explaining purling. You can move on to purling after you’ve made a scarf. You will do this by making another scarf, this time all purls instead of all knits. This is also garter stitch! Here’s how to purl: reading tutorial and video tutorial.

After this, every single pattern is going to be a mix of knit and purl stitches. A fancy thing like lace or cabling might need some special technique, but the base is always knitting and purling and anyway you can google the fancy stuff.

And before I end, some common knitting phrases:

  • A row is one line of stitches. So if you start with the first stitch in the row and go to the end, that’s one row.
  • When a pattern says something like K1, that means “knit one stitch.” K3P3 means “knit three stitches, then purl three stitches.”
  • Knitting one row and then purling a row is called stockinette stitch
  • Going knit-purl, knit-purl is called 1x1 rib. K2P2 is 2x2 rib, etc.
  • M1 means “make one stitch.” You’re not there yet, but it basically means adding a stitch, so if you started with 10 stitches cast on, now you have 11.
  • YO means yarn-over. It’s a way of making a new stitch that adds a hole.

I hope this helps. If any of this is confusing, feel free to PM me.

The Cast of Final Fantasy XV as YouTubers

Okay, so I’ve actually been wanting to do this for a long time because I love YouTubers of all kinds and I can totally see each and every one of these dorks as video-making losers we would all love.

I just wanted to give you all a quick list of cute head-canons to inspire you with, featuring The Chocobros and guest star Ravus.

Enjoy.

Ignis Scientia

  • Has three separate YouTube channels to accommodate his many talents, because Ignis refuses to be the type of man who would give cooking advice to the youth of Lucis and not teach first time moms how to knit their children pink and purple booties.
  • From his most popular to least popular channels: Cooking With Ignis, Knit One Purl Two, and The Fundamentals of Cosmogony
  • Do not be fooled, this man knows how to garter stitch and will make sure you know how to in ten minutes or less or his name isn’t Ignis Scientia. 
  • He posts videos once per channel, three times a week at the exact same time, and there are no vacations for this man - he is committed to making himself a part of your daily routine. 
  • Food puns.
  • His Cosmogony videos are much like your college classes, however, can your Professor summon fire and explain complicated mechanics with only a moogle and a chocobo finger puppet before an array of elaborate backgrounds? Think about that. 
  • He’s come up with new recipes mid-video before and all of his viewers love it.
  • He’s the third most subscribed YouTuber. 

Ravus Nox Fleuret

  • Do you know what fucking Flower Power is, my friend? Well, you do now, because Ravus dishes those details with finesse and bad words and he does not give a shit if you care about the behavior of the Brahma Kamal in the wild or not. 
  • This boy loves him some flowers, he is downright obsessed with their beauty, meaning, and whether or not they have the properties to kill you.
  • His YouTube channel is called Petal To The Metal and he hates it; the only reason he kept the name is because he couldn’t think of a more clever one and because Ignis was the one who decided on the line. Who can deny that pretty face?
  • However, it does apply, because he is not your everyday botanist - no. He’ll let you know every gorgeous detail about a bloom and then explain how it can be used to poison your party guests when they next come over for tea. 
  • He does not hate your hate comments, in fact, he’ll post them all over social media (username included) and proceed to roast you on livestream with the rest of his fans.
  • He’s the second most subscribed YouTuber of the group because he’s super hot and appeals to your inner petty bitch. 

Prompto Argentum

  • Have you ever wanted to be a film star? Prompto doesn’t, but he’ll sure as hell film your next three music videos for a heck of a deal. His channel is all about making movies, short films, live comics, and taking you for a spin behind the scenes of the small screen - he’s not famous yet, folks.
  • His favorite things to film are his friends and he’s super into vlogging, known to interview everyone when they’re hanging out, especially Ignis. You and everyone else knows he’s got a thing for the master of all. 
  • Prompto reads every single comment - EVERY single one, and he makes the time to reply when he can. He likes to be close to his fans. 
  • His YouTube channel is called Through The Lens and it’s classic, cozy, and only a little gay when the boys are around. 
  • Sometimes, he likes to make personal vlogs by himself to talk to his subscribers about his fears and anxiety; he gets a lot of peace from their good feedback.
  • He’s only filmed one horror video - it didn’t end well. 
  • He’d the top most subscribed YouTuber; everyone LOVES Prompto.

Noctis Lucis Caelum

  • Just your average Let’s Player, folks. Noctis’ channel is full of Grade B gaming runs and Grade A hilarity.
  • Not very original, his YouTube is called kingdreamy247 - for any of you that don’t know, it’s also his PSN username - and he wreaks havoc upon the gaming community with his absolute favorite series - Assassin’s Creed.
  • He dies a lot, so expect most playthroughs to be three times longer than you would expect, and for the word ‘FUCK’ to be said in succession multiple times per video. 
  • Never fear, his content does not end there, for he is an absolute sucker for review videos - from games to gear, he’s got you covered if you ever want to know which brand is the best in his book.
  • He LOVES opening your fanmail and will make the biggest deal out of fanart given to him, posting it up on his wall every time he gets a new piece. His father - the true King Dreamy - does not really approve of so much mail coming into the Citadel, but so long as it’s checked for any threat, he lets it go. 
  • His only special guest has always been Prompto. 
  • He’s down low on the Most Subscribed list; he doesn’t talk about it.

Gladiolus Amicitia

  • Are you ready for a walk on the wild side? Ever wanted to rough it in the wild but unsure if you would actually survive? Well, don’t you worry your pretty head, because the big guy has got your back and he’ll show you how to with or without a shirt.
  • Cup Noodle is the name of the channel and he really doesn’t give a fuck if you question it, because first of all, Cup Noodles are the best thing in the world and he doesn’t need your opinion on how to properly name a YouTube channel that actually correlates with the topic.
  • Posting twice a week, Gladio will take you straight to camp with his informative videos: Knots for Dummies, or a fan favorite, How to Prepare a Survival Cup Noodle Pts. I-VI.
  • The big guy doesn’t accept fanmail or gifts of any sort, but he does accept phone numbers, ladies.
  • Be sure to check out a new series addition to his channel: Braving the Beasts, an inside look to handling threats in the great outdoors - coming to you later this year, if he feels like going through with it. 
  • He’d be higher on the Most Subscribed list if he didn’t take so many vacations from the internet. Still, he’s somehow higher on the scale than Noctis.

Knitting Vocab

Tricoter- to knit

L’aiguille (f) -   Needle

La maille- stitch

La maille endroit- knit stitch

La maille envers- purl stitch

Le rang- row

Le point mousse- garter stitch

Le point de jersey- stockinette stitch

En côtes- ribbed

La laine- wool

Le fil- thread, yarn

Le bonnet- cap, beanie

Les gants (m)- gloves

Le pull- sweater

Les chaussettes (f)- Socks

If you see any mistakes, feel free to point‘em out. It would be much appreciated.

anonymous asked:

Are you going to be making more Knit and Purl comics?

Unfortunately not- real life interfered, and at this point it‘s just not happening.

Thank you for your interest, though!

4

Headband designed after Hera’s lekku pattern. I used this image by @kimbachan for reference.

Done in double knitting. 4.5mm needles, worsted-weight acrylic yarn. I had to repeat the pattern a little bit to get something of the appropriate length for a headband.

Feel free to use and share the pattern. Make as many Hera-headbands as you want, it’ll be awesome. Make any alterations to the pattern that you feel would make it better, things can always be improved. I only ask that you don’t claim credit for the original pattern itself; and I’d like to see anything you do with it, but it’s not a requirement.

As a bonus, a slightly better photo of the Kanan headband I’d posted about ages ago:

Addendum: if someone doesn’t know what double knitting is, but does know how to do both knit and purl stitches, I can try and explain it. Or you can look up various tutorials; just if you know how to knit and purl, you can do double knitting.

2

A little look at my unfinished sock set: The Inside Outs.
Knit in Madeline Tosh Euro Sock, colorway Light Bright.
This yarn is awesome, but a real pain to find a project that compliments the colors and doesn’t muddle them. Socks seemed like the best option. I am not obsessed with the design, but I really like the purl stitch and the colors. Plus the yarn makes for one super comfy sock.

P.S. Yes those socks are socks with socks on them.