In an AU where Jack never went to Samwell, the Samwell Men’s Hockey team wins a contest to watch the Falconers play the Aces in Las Vegas. In a twenty-four hour period, the following things occur:
- Ransom, Holster, Lardo, and Shitty organize and execute an extravagant yet tasteful double wedding using Shitty’s family’s money
-Whiskey wins $274,548 on slot machines he’s not technically old enough to use
-Tango loses $274,493 at game tables he’s not technically old enough to be at
-Bitty has a threesome with not one buttwo NHL stars
-No one can find Dex except for Nursey, who is handcuffed to him in a Denny’s parking lot
-Chris “Chowder” Chow, sunshine of everyone’s lives and the only person to get back to the designated hotel by curfew, has to deal with all of this before the coaches wake up from their hangovers and realize that they’ve missed their flight home.
(Based on my own grad school experiences/having very thin walls in my apartment building)
-*offended whisper* “Why don’t you look at me during?* “What the fuck dude? Have you been watching Game Grumps again?” “THAT’S NOT THE POINT AND YOU KNOW IT!”
-”It’s three am and I’m making pot brownies because what is life anymore even? Let’s just eat the chocolate and chill out until we die.”
-”KNOCK KNOCK CHUCKLEFUCKS! LET’S TALK ABOUT DISNEY PRINCESS FILMS AND THE EVOLUTION OF THE BULLSHIT DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!”
-*slams a thermos of gin and tonic on the table* “So before we go through our writing group critique, I feel like we all need some of this.” “Getting drunk at eleven in the morning? Now we’re real writers!”
so i was watching sky high (the greatest disney channel movie ever made tbqh) and heres a superhero au
bitty is fast but not like the flash fast. he moves in graceful motions, usually with the arms. hence baking quickly.
less focus, more poetic.
the same way he is one the ice.
jack has super strength but like duh. he can be kinda clumsy about it and gets mad embarrassed but mostly hes pretty good w it. works out a lot. rad bob has it too.
parse duplicates. i was torn between that and power negation so
basically imagine 17 kent parsons telling you you cant breathe fire.
rans and holtz thought they had no powers until they met. turns out they fuze into a giant dude, steven universe style. anyone who makes a m*latto joke gets to find out firsthand what a double strength punch feels like
shitty has the power of charisma. everyone loves him so nobody wants to fight him. he could easily use this for world domination but he usually just gets free guac at chipotle. (but it sure does help in the law field)
lardo is gadgets + costumes. this might seem like a lame job but really they wouldnt be where they are today without her. plus like, shes basically batman.
nursey can freeze time. its really hard to do, and especially hard if hes trying to freeze only one person, so he usually settles for just slowing time/people. he also has the power to calm people.
dex explodes. like a fucking grenade. and then he sort of snaps back together. very helpful in battle, but dont sneak up on him.
<b>nursey:</b> </b> wait guys... i dont know<p/><b>nursey, pointing to jack:</b> jack....<p/><b>nursey, pointing to shitty:</b> shit!<p/><b>the smh:</b> *collectively yelling and losing their minds*<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>