knife pocket

MBTI types: When they are broken up with...

ESTP: Goes on a week long trip, sky diving, motorcycles, and adventure. Definitely drunken nights and partying.

ISTP: Walks into the forest and cuts enough firewood to last five years.

ISFP: Gets in car and has a solitary road trip to work through their feelings. Art plays a major role in the healing process.

ESFP: Goes out with friends to share their story, ends up dancing on tables. Cycle lasts until their ISTJ friend finally gets them down from a table one night and declares their feelings. ESFP is shocked, and then happily responds.

ESFJ: Possibly every Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert break up song ever. Do not give them matches or a pocket knife. Or really, any possible weapon. Beware of a drink thrown in your face.

ESTJ: They now can get back to their life and one day someone else better will show up. No sweat.

ISTJ: Goes home, puts things in order, and wonders what went wrong. They did everything right. No really, they did.

ISFJ: Gets out the ice cream, calls their friends to come over, and talks and weeps for hours.

INFP: Sits in their room, listening to sad music and crying. Possibly has a major breakdown.

ENFP: Becomes very sad and tries to distract themselves with friends and work. It will take a while before they can date someone else. Unless of course they meet someone incredibly cool who takes their mind off of their sadness.

INFJ: Goes home, analyzes entire relationship from start to finish, which will take about a year. Or two. May never fully get over breakup. Unless they sabotaged it on purpose. Then they happily go home and read. Until they wonder if they still like that person…

ENFJ: Cries and hugs all their their friends, and wonders how anyone wouldn’t want to be loved so deeply by them.

ENTP: Disappears from the face of the earth. Someone said they thought maybe they saw them at a rave in Amsterdam? But then they sent a postcard from a club in Russia….

ENTJ: Feels horrified at their lack of control over the situation and immediately takes steps to hold the dominant position again.

INTJ: Vows to never open their heart again, and goes back to focusing on their career. The mistake will not be repeated.

INTP: Goes back to playing video games. Was probably over the relationship a long time ago anyways.

submitted by Jose Flores

External image
the signs, based on iconic brooklyn nine nine moments
  • aries: doesn't have a single picture out where they're smiling. is their mouth broken
  • taurus: gets offended when math is brought into the conversation
  • gemini: is defeated by a fairy princess castle and ends up having a complete mental breakdown. WHAT KIND OF CASTLE HAS WHEELS????
  • cancer: their idea of massively sucking up to someone is by offering the person a mint
  • leo: the EXTRA™ one. willing to lift a gd car just to prove a point
  • virgo: is a terrible, TERRIBLE cook but doesn't know it. the kinda person who uses baking soda instead when they run out of salt. why wouldn't they? they're both white powders
  • libra: pulls out a giant knife from their back pocket. where did they even put that. how did it even fit. what
  • scorpio: is being told to bone their significant other and ends up having a 40 minute meltdown
  • sagittarius: somehow ends up behind the wheel of a truck and crashes into a car. they actually end up saving the day
  • capricorn: lapses into song lyrics when anxious
  • aquarius: is called 'fun' once and feels insulted, demands an apology
  • pisces: considers getting coffee flavored ice cream once being fancy