Ivan paces in his room. He’s been doing this for roughly an hour now, grumbling angrily in Russian, occasionally bursting out with some enraged exclamation. On the other side of the locked door, his sisters and the Baltics stand with their ears nervously pressed to the wood. Every shout, every slammed fist makes them flinch.
“S-so, what’s he mad about this time?” Toris asks, voice hushed in case his former boss decides then to acknowledge their eaves-dropping.
Eduard is blessedly calm in his response: “I think it was something Alfred did.”
“The idiot used big brother’s vodka stash as fuel for a fire.“ Natalia, meanwhile, looks downright murderous. “He wanted to put big brother on a quitting plan, despite big brother’s wishes.”
“Shhhh, I think something's happening!” Yekaterina says none-too-quietly.
Indeed, something is happening. Ivan, still taking deep breaths, turns on his phone and opens it to contacts. A dark aura around him, he presses the call button of one particular contact.
The phone rings.
Ivan smiles innocently. "Hello, Alfred.“
"Oh, hey, what’s up?” The American perks up.
“Not much.” His eyes slip closed in content. “Just looking through old knick-knacks. It's funny how many special objects get left in some forgotten box in some forgotten room.”
Alfred laughs awkwardly. “Uh, yeah, I guess I see what you mean? Like, why keep something if it’s just going to sit there and collect dust?”
“I’m very glad you agree with me.” Ivan raises a hand, a lit match delicately held between pointer finger and thumb. Before him is a pile of every last object of Alfred’s that had been left at Ivan’s house, whether mistakenly or purposefully.
“Out with the old and in with the new-”
“Whoah, whoah, can you hold on a minute? I’m killing zombies.”
Alfred scowls, speaking into his headset, “Kiku, I thought you said you were covering me?”
“I am. There are too many.”
“Well, make them stop existing!”
A sigh, “Alfred-kun, I’m trying.”
“Well, try harder!”
“Alfred?” Ivan’s eye twitches.
“Yeah, just give me a few. Kiku! I said to cover me! Don’t shoot me!”
Soft laughter from Kiku’s end.
“… You’re doing this intentionally, aren’t you?” Alfred groans, “Kiku, dude, my main man, quit it.”
Seeing an opening, Ivan cuts in, “You mean like how you’re making me quit vodka?”
“You’re still pissed about that? Sheesh, talk about relentless.”
The dark aura grows.
Alfred lowers his controller, expression deadpanned. “Relationships need to be balanced. I gave up McDonalds, so you have to give up vodka. Deal with it.”
“It took me months to put together that stash!”
“Alfred, I will burn everything you love!”
“What, so you’re going to set yourself on fire?”
Kiku’s heard muttering a “Lol, wut?”
“… Can you repeat that?”
Red-faced, Alfred swallows before starting, “I, um, I said, ‘what, so you’re going to-’”
Ivan throws the phone out the window.
Natalia slams the lock-picked door open. “BIG BROTHER, DID HE JUST-?”
*Submission by the lovely @kittyreaper