Starting out with the intention of becoming reacquainted with my self-portraiteur and accidentally ending up taking outfit photos; which I have rarely ever done.
Getting to know my body as it is now… More disabled and much smaller than before, I feel like a stranger some days. Simultaneously learning to shed shame and embarrassment of doing things that make people stare. Even when I appeared fully able-bodied I struggled with this. Far too much scrutiny on the individual, at the same time, much of it is self inflicted.
I don’t know if I’ve ever posted about them here before but this is one of my characters Rosal? They’re 19 at the beginning of their story and 27 at the end. Rosal is 5'6, half Filipino, half Mexican and In school for being a social worker.
I created them as part of a disabled superhero support group. Essentially they started out as part of a superhero team defending their city, harnessing super speed powers. However, their powers did not come with any healing factor and the joints in their knees became an issue for them. They were warned by medical staff if they continued to use their powers they would only suffer further damage.
Rosal couldn’t give up being part of their team or helping people.
At first, they could get away with elastic knee braces to keep down the swelling. It got progressively worse, resulting in it being unbearable for them to use their powers and they were required to use a hinged brace at all times. On bad days they’re on crutches or their chair.
Frustrated with staying at home all the time, restless from the super speed vibrating within, they were disappointed to find that there was absolutely no support for disabled heroes. Determined to prevent the helpless feeling they experienced from happening to anyone else, Rosal set out to create a team of retired heroes who help folks transition from their life helping people to a life of looking after themselves.
If you read this, thanks for reading my nerdy AF ramblings.
I used to be moderately athletic and fairly fit, but now I require knee braces just to walk long distances most days. All people can ask is “What happened to you?” It makes me feel like I’m some kind of failure.
It’s been a long 10 months.
- 3 surgeries within 7 months
- MPFL reconstruction
- Broken knee cap
- Screw Rejection
- Physical therapy 2 times a week for 10 months straight
But I’m glad to say it’s FINALLY all coming to an end pretty soon 😊
Awhile ago, I saw a photo shoot featured on here titled “Impressions”. It showed the impressions that certain clothing leaves on the body in hopes to make it more beautiful. But what about the impressions that are left because of an injury? The braces and sleeves that we wear?
This is my daily impression. This photo was taken after having the brace on for 10 hours. I will always be in a sleeve. That’s my reality. (Or at least until I have a full knee replacement when I’m 50…) I have good days when I don’t wear it, but if I’m dancing, working out, or at work for long hours, I need it. And I have tried to help strengthen my knee, but there is more damage than a bunch of exercises can fix. But I am not held back by it. My injury/condition forces me to keep pushing forward. Yes, the brace is itchy and irritating. But it is a daily reminder that one day, I might permanently be without it.