[Image Description: a photo collage of Annie with different colors of hair and several different colorful outfits, in some photos she is in her wheelchair, in other photos she is standing with a cane, in other photos she is wearing wrist and knee braces, and in one photo she is exposing her hypermobile fingers as she speaks.]
Starting out with the intention of becoming reacquainted with my self-portraiteur and accidentally ending up taking outfit photos; which I have rarely ever done.
Getting to know my body as it is now… More disabled and much smaller than before, I feel like a stranger some days. Simultaneously learning to shed shame and embarrassment of doing things that make people stare. Even when I appeared fully able-bodied I struggled with this. Far too much scrutiny on the individual, at the same time, much of it is self inflicted.
It’s been a long 10 months.
- 3 surgeries within 7 months
- MPFL reconstruction
- Broken knee cap
- Screw Rejection
- Physical therapy 2 times a week for 10 months straight
But I’m glad to say it’s FINALLY all coming to an end pretty soon 😊
Awhile ago, I saw a photo shoot featured on here titled “Impressions”. It showed the impressions that certain clothing leaves on the body in hopes to make it more beautiful. But what about the impressions that are left because of an injury? The braces and sleeves that we wear?
This is my daily impression. This photo was taken after having the brace on for 10 hours. I will always be in a sleeve. That’s my reality. (Or at least until I have a full knee replacement when I’m 50…) I have good days when I don’t wear it, but if I’m dancing, working out, or at work for long hours, I need it. And I have tried to help strengthen my knee, but there is more damage than a bunch of exercises can fix. But I am not held back by it. My injury/condition forces me to keep pushing forward. Yes, the brace is itchy and irritating. But it is a daily reminder that one day, I might permanently be without it.