Klout thinks I’m an expert in Carolinas. This is very true. Did you know there are two Carolinas? North Carolina, and a second Carolina! Wow!
Klout also assumed I’m an expert in Elementary Schools which is a fucked up accusation to throw at a single 30-year-old man with no children. Klout, you can’t be like “yo i heard you know about where kids go. also do you want a $5 gift card to McDonald’s every two months.” 1) c’mon dude, be cool and 2) yeah gimme that flippin gift card, I’m going to make it rain McNuggets.
Klout thinks I’m an expert in Marc Broussard and I literally just googled him because I have no idea who he is. Strange that they’d assume I’m an expert in a person I have never heard of, let alone mentioned. Like hey Klout, what if I told you you’re an expert in George de Mestral. And Klout’d google him and be like “what the fuck, I’m an expert in the guy who invented velcro?” and I’m just like yeah, fuck you. You know about the velcro guy now.
Klout thinks I’m an expert in dishwashers which is a low blow because my apartment doesn’t have one and now I’m the dishwasher. So I guess I am an expert on dishwashers. Which… I guess is pretty appropriate.
Well played, Klout.