kitty judge

Dander

(also on ao3)

“Dander,” Levi says, recalling the name on the placard hanging on the wall outside of the room. “Why’s she called that?”

“Well,” Eren, the man who has been introducing him to all the cats at the shelter for the past half hour, says, “she sheds. A lot.”

Levi hums. He can handle that. He holds out his hand and the cat sniffs it, nudges his fingers. Levi starts to pet her head.

Then she bites him.

“And she’s kind of feisty.”

Eren laughs awkwardly, voice dying off as Levi stares at him. He clears his throat.

“We can go look at the other cats again.”

The other cats. The nice ones. The cute one. The friendly ones.

Levi looks at Dander. The difficult one. The odd one. The temperamental one. The one that no one wants.

He knows the feeling.

“I’ll take her.”

“What?”

“Dander. I’ll take her.”

“Really?” Eren’s face lights up. “That’s great! Isn’t that great, Dander?”

Dander blinks at him and flicks her tail.

“She thinks it’s great, too.”

Levi doubts that, but he isn’t going to burst the guy’s bubble.

“Alright,” Eren says, “we’ll just need to fill out some paperwork. It’ll take a few days to process all your information and make sure you’re able to–”

“Oh,” Levi interrupts, digging in the pocket of his coat. “Here.”

He hands Eren several papers that, in hindsight, he probably should have put in a folder rather than crumpling them and stuffing them in his jacket. It’s an official note, an allowance really, from his therapist to get an animal to keep at home, to help him. He’s skeptical it will actually work, but he’s willing to give it a shot. Hange suggested it, both as a professional and as a friend, and he values their opinion as both.

“Sorry. Should have given it to you before.”

“You’re…” Eren begins.

Freakish? Pitiful? A waste of space?

“…lucky,” he finishes. “This will speed things up. We can get you squared away within the hour. But you still have to fill out the paperwork. Unfortunately I can’t spare you the boring stuff.”

Eren smiles at Levi and Levi tries to smile back, though it probably looks more like a grimace. Whatever face he ends up making, Eren doesn’t seem bothered by it. He opens the door of Dander’s room, allowing Levi to exit first before following behind and shutting the door behind them. He fiddles with Dander’s placard, switching the removable sign under her name that says ‘I’m looking for my purrfect match’ to ‘I’ve found my furever home’.

“So there’s no confusion if someone else comes to visit,” he explains and leads Levi back to the lobby.

It only takes about twenty minutes to get everything in order. They send him home with a few days worth of food and some of Dander’s favorite toys to get him started, and Dander herself in a cardboard kitty crate that, judging by the way it tilts back and forth regularly, she is eager to get back out of.

“Wait!”

Levi stops and turns, watches as Eren runs across the parking lot. He hands Levi a piece of paper with a number on it.

“This is my cell. Call me anytime.”

Levi raises eyebrow at him.

“About the cat.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Or anything really,” he says as he walks backwards towards the shelter. “Keep in touch, Levi.” Eren waves before turning and rushing into the building.

Levi waves back long after Eren is out of sight. It’s stiff and Levi pulls his arm back against his side almost immediately.

“He’s…weird.”

Dander meows at him loudly, her pink nose sticking out of one of the holes in the crate.

“Right. So am I.” Levi puts Dander in his car then gets in himself. “Let’s go home.”

I just thought of something.
  • Kou: *playing on his phone*
  • Ruki: Kou what are you doing?
  • Kou: *hides phone* uhh blackmailing people.
  • Ruki: *takes phone* really Kou?? Your playing Neko Atsume??
  • Kou: give it back! I gotta feed my Neko-chans!!!

These Guys Made Up a Fake Case to Get On ‘Judge Judy’

Back in 2010, there was an amazing Judge Judy segment that featured four people in a dispute over some smashed TVs and a dead cat. You may have seen a clip of it called “Best Judge Judy ending EVER!!!!!” 

The story was completely made up. Invented by four roommates in order to get a free trip to LA and some cash out of the Judge Judy producers. 

The story they invented was, basically, that a guy called Jonathan had gotten wasted at the house of a girl named Kate and smashed two TVs that she owned. One of the TVs, she said, landed on her pet cat, Trips, killing it. You can see the full segment here

I spoke to Jonathan, the defendant in the case, to hear his side off what happened:

VICE: What gave you guys the idea to contact the show?
Jonathan Coward: Well, my friend Kate, who was the plaintiff, had just moved up to New York from Baltimore, and she asked me what a quick way to make money was. I had some friends who went on Judge Joe Brown back in the late 90s. They were on there for some sort of roommate dispute. And they told me that the show pays the settlement. 

Was that a genuine case?
Yeah. So I told her we could come up with some story for Judge Judy, and we would probably get the settlement and a free trip to LA, because we knew that’s where they shot. So we tried to think of a story that was absurd, something that would be good television. So I just threw out the idea of the cat thing, just off the top of my head. The whole point was that we need to have a story that’s entertaining, but also involves damaged property. I was aware that the cap for small claims was around four grand. Kate got real excited about it and emailed the show straight away. And they got back to her, and were interested in doing it. 

How did they reach out to you?
They just called. I allowed Kate to give them my number. I was really dodgy and cagey about answering the phone, and I would like, talk to them for a second and hang up, and I told them I’d do it if they gave me an appearance fee and flew my friend Brian out for a character witness. I guess I was more concerned about making this more of a party for ourselves than anything else.

How much of the story that you guys told is true?
Absolutely none of it. Once they agreed to put us on the show, we realized that we needed to take roles and not have this be something that was completely see through. There were tensions at our house, so a slight amount of it was real. 

Continue

9

“Weirdmageddon” and some other random Gravity Falls designs. It was an ultimate honor to design the cat judge voiced by Jon Stewart also baby mayor Befufftlefumpter is my favorite:D…Thanks for your constant support Gravity Falls fans!!! There are still some designs I haven’t shared with you, maybe I should make a little competition for you guys guessing what episodes they are from!

* Bill’s portrait painting is done by Gravity Falls painters based on my design.

Anything for you babe (Zico)

Gif - Credit to owner


Genre: Fluffy fluff!
Words: 1709

Authors Note: I’m so sorry it took so long to get this don’t, i hope this is what you wanted! 


with your bag hanging uncomfortably of your shoulder and your arms full of folders with paperwork you struggled to unlock the door to your apartment.

one of your collegues had become ill and your boss had asked you if you could do their work until they got back. You being an idiot said yes thinking that the extra money could be nice but also forgot the fact that you would have no free time what so ever. So for the past five days straight you had brought a ton of work with you home to get it done in time.

you had spent this entire week stressed out of your mind working every single hour you were awake even when you had lunch break you spent it by working and eating at the same time.

you knew that it was incredibly stupid to say yes to more work in the first place but you didn’t want to go back to your boss now with your tail in between your legs telling him you couldn’t handle it and that you wanted help.  Asking for help just wasn’t in your nature.

As you stood in the hallway after just kicking the door shut you struggled to get your shoes off. Silly as you were you didn’t want to put all your things down and then bend down to untie your shoes properly. Even though you knew for sure that it would be faster that way, you refused to do it.

“Hey do you need any help with that?” you looked up and saw Jiho sitting on the couch with his laptop on the coffee table and the TV turned down to a low volume to simulate background noise.

“Nope I’m fine” you muttered as you finally one of your feet were freed from its daily prison.

“you sure?” Jiho asked teasingly

“Yep!” you replied as you got the other one off as well.

as you walked past the couch you gave Jiho a quick peck on the lips.

“you have to work tonight again?” Jiho asked and frowned. Usually during a Friday night you’d just be lazy on the couch with him unless he was working then you’d just be lazy on the couch alone. “you’ve been working every evening all week” Jiho pointed out.

“I’m just covering for a colleague” you just shrugged and tried to give a reassuring smile. Jiho nodded understandingly but you saw that he wasn’t happy about this. He knew very well how dedicated you were to your job just like he was with his music and he also knew the side effects of that.

“have you eaten anything today?” he asked worriedly knowing that one of those side effects of being a workaholic was forgetting to eat properly.

“I had a quick breakfast and then I had lunch at the office” you stated and readjusted the folders in your arms.

“at what time?” he promptly demanded to know.

“13.00 ish” you shrugged.

“Y/N that was 7 hours ago…” he said as he looked less than pleased. Funny thing was when he worked a whole day without eating properly it was no big deal but when you did it, it was like a whole other story.

“Jiho I’m fine” you tired to convince him. You grabbed a green apple from the fruit bowl of the coffee table “I’m eating an apple right now so don’t worry” you said and took a bite out of it. “I love you” you smiled at him as you started to head towards your little office.

“I love you too babe” he said as he finally gave in, knowing that he wouldn’t win that argument with you.

You carelessly dropped all the folders on your desk and your bag on the floor. Not wanting to waste any time you simply hung your jacket over the arm rest of your chair before took a seat

You instantly got to work where you left off before you headed home after already staying later at work to get everything done and failing miserably to do so.

flipping through various of folders with documents, making notes and doing research on your laptop. You worked on diligently trying to finish it all.

While turning a page you managed to cut your finger on the thin white paper. You cursed internally and sucked on the tiny wound while your other hand reached for the bottom drawer of your desk knowing you had some plasters hidden in there.

Looking through the mess of pads of post-it notes, pencils, an unopened package of dark chocolate, colourful highlighters, envelopes and letter paper, you found a small box of Hello Kitty plasters. You had bought them just to tease Jiho about his debut days. You smiled at the memory as you wrapped a cute little light pink plaster around the tip of your index finger.

As you continued working you didn’t notice how the pile of work got smaller and smaller. Your eyes were focused on the black letters against the white paper and your fingers were typing away on the keyboard.

Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted you and you looked up to see your boyfriend leaning against the door frame.

“How’s it going babe?” he asked trying to suppress a smirk from his lips.

“fine, it’s just a fourth left of it all and then I’m done” You said as you let the pencil slip out of your hand and stretched your arms slightly and then went to rub your tired eyes. Suddenly you craved one of his big warm hugs. You got up from your seat and tiredly wrapped your arms around his neck and his hand found their way to your waist. “I’m so tired” you whined against his chest.

“I can fix that” Jiho said and there was something mischievous in the tone of his voice. You barely got chance to register what happened next but before you knew it Jiho had picked you up into his arms bridalstyle.

“What are you doing!” you yelped as you clung onto Jiho as if your dear life depended on it.

“I’m kidnapping you” he chuckled as he carried you out to the living room. He dropped you off on the soft couch almost recklessly making you laugh and took a seat beside you.

“But Jiho” you tried to protest as you sat up but he was having none of it.

“No! No but’s!” he interrupted you. “you can finish it up later” he gave you a pleading look. “You deserve a break”

just at that moment the doorbell rang and Jiho rushed to answer the door and a few moments later he returned with a white plastic bag that he placed on the table in front of you.

“oh you got food!” you said with widened eyes as you took out the two take out boxes from the plastic bag. The smell of delicious food filled the room and you almost started drooling, that’s how hungry you were.

“this was the film you wanted to see right?” Jiho said as he held up the DVD case to Zootopia that you hadn’t had a chance to see yet. He knew very well about your love for animated films especially Disney films.

“Yeah! When did you buy that?” you asked surprised as he put the film in the DVD player and then returned to the couch to sit next to you.

“um.. I think you talked about it a while ago and then I got it from the store and totally for got about it” he explained as the film started and started digging into his food.

When you finished all your food you cuddled up together under a fluffy blanket and watched the colourful film. He had one hand soothingly rubbing your back and every now and then he played with your hair as you rested your head on his chest.

You didn’t realise how much you actually need needed a calm evening with a nice film, some good food and lots of boyfriend cuddles. You looked up at him and found him completely sucked into the plot of a (cute) cop bunny and an con artist fox. It was rather cute you thought.

“Jiho” you said his name softly and his gaze met your. “Thank you for this, I really appreciate you doing this for me” you said sincerely and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“anything for my baby girl” he smiled at you.

His other hand went to hold yours that was resting on his chest. He slightly brushed over the pink plaster you had put on your finger earlier.

“Hello Kitty?” he asked and you saw how he tried to suppress a smile.

“I got a paper cut” you said.

“oh, I didn’t know you kept those plasters” he said unable to hold back a smile.

“I’d never throw away my boyfriends beloved Hello Kitty plasters!” you said acting like you were offended that he thought you’d do such a thing.

“yah, I don’t even like Hello Kitty anymore” he defended himself. “what was in my debut days stay in my debut days!”

“hey, i like films with cute animated animals and you’re in love with Hello Kitty, i’m not judging you at all” you chuckled as you teased him.

“just shut up and watch this film will you?” he chuckled back at you.

“alright, alright!” you said and turned your attention back to the film and rested your head back at his chest. You continued watching the film and after a moment you felt your eyelids getting heavy and soon it started to get difficult to keep them open any longer.

You woke up slightly when you felt Jiho moving slightly beside you. The TV was turned off and the food boxes stood empty on the table. Jiho were fast asleep with his arm wrapped tightly around you. You smiled as you watched him sleep.

“Thank you for being the best boyfriend I could ever ask for” you whispered and pressed a kiss to his cheek before going back to sleep.


Thanks for reading!