kitty judge

Pennywise x Fem! Reader head cannons

I’m probably going to hell for writing these, but idgaf. Keep in mind I’ve never written something like this before,  so I’m trying. Enjoy this trash.


1. Penny is over 7 feet tall, and the fucker uses it to his advantage all the time.

2. Penny is rather protective of his little girlfriend and often watches over you from afar in various different forms. Such as a bird or a dog.

3. Love is a VERY foreign concept to Penny, so he’s often clueless as to what regular couples do.

4. Penn wants affection from you, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it so he just creepily stares at you until you ask him what he wants.

5. Having never really been touched in a romantic way before, Pennywise is somewhat touch starved and is always craving cuddles and stuff from you.

6. When you and Penny first got together, he went through a short phase where he didn’t want to eat because he didn’t want to upset you.

7. You found this both heartwarming and upsetting because on one hand, it’s sweet that he’s willing to do that for you, but on the other hand, you don’t want him to starve. So you basically make him eat

8. When you have to be gone for a awhile, like at work, Penn comforts himself by going into your room and sniffing your clothes like a creep.

9. As creepy as it is, Penny likes to watch you sleep. He likes how peaceful and innocent you look.

10. You sometimes get a nasty surprise when Pennywise decides to show you his latest “catch”. He sets it next to your feet and then sits beside like a proud cat.

11. You just sigh and say “Penny why?”.

12. “Penny why?” Is basically you everyday dealing with Penny’s antics.

13. Penn makes various animalistic noises, such as purrs and growls.

14. You often feel more like a babysitter than his girlfriend, but then he cuddles up to you and your reminded why you fell in love with the big goofy creep.

15. Penny is the SLOPPIEST kisser on the planet. When he kisses you, you get a mouth full of weird alien tongue and a good portion of your face is covered in drool.

16. Over time, you get used to the weird, creepy shit that Pennywise does. So when he does something that would probably make someone else scream in horror, you’re just like “Penny again?”

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Your weekly shitpost has arrived. (x)

Kitty update:  She’s home.  The first thing she did was eat :)  Kitten chow - it’s junk cat food but she loves it.  She didn’t eat a lot but that’s okay.  I’ve got lots of other things to try with her as well.  She’s also purring, used the litter pan and groomed herself.  All good signs.  She’s still got a lot to overcome but I think she’s so much happier at home.  She was so scared at the pet hospital, she just curled up into a corner and wouldn’t do anything.  That happens to some cats.  She’s falling asleep on my bed now - probably exhausted from being petrified and upset at all the strange noises.  Poor bebe!

So fingers still crossed.  The diabetes thing is a huge challenge and everything could fall apart quickly but at least we made it this far.

Dander

(also on ao3)

“Dander,” Levi says, recalling the name on the placard hanging on the wall outside of the room. “Why’s she called that?”

“Well,” Eren, the man who has been introducing him to all the cats at the shelter for the past half hour, says, “she sheds. A lot.”

Levi hums. He can handle that. He holds out his hand and the cat sniffs it, nudges his fingers. Levi starts to pet her head.

Then she bites him.

“And she’s kind of feisty.”

Eren laughs awkwardly, voice dying off as Levi stares at him. He clears his throat.

“We can go look at the other cats again.”

The other cats. The nice ones. The cute one. The friendly ones.

Levi looks at Dander. The difficult one. The odd one. The temperamental one. The one that no one wants.

He knows the feeling.

“I’ll take her.”

“What?”

“Dander. I’ll take her.”

“Really?” Eren’s face lights up. “That’s great! Isn’t that great, Dander?”

Dander blinks at him and flicks her tail.

“She thinks it’s great, too.”

Levi doubts that, but he isn’t going to burst the guy’s bubble.

“Alright,” Eren says, “we’ll just need to fill out some paperwork. It’ll take a few days to process all your information and make sure you’re able to–”

“Oh,” Levi interrupts, digging in the pocket of his coat. “Here.”

He hands Eren several papers that, in hindsight, he probably should have put in a folder rather than crumpling them and stuffing them in his jacket. It’s an official note, an allowance really, from his therapist to get an animal to keep at home, to help him. He’s skeptical it will actually work, but he’s willing to give it a shot. Hange suggested it, both as a professional and as a friend, and he values their opinion as both.

“Sorry. Should have given it to you before.”

“You’re…” Eren begins.

Freakish? Pitiful? A waste of space?

“…lucky,” he finishes. “This will speed things up. We can get you squared away within the hour. But you still have to fill out the paperwork. Unfortunately I can’t spare you the boring stuff.”

Eren smiles at Levi and Levi tries to smile back, though it probably looks more like a grimace. Whatever face he ends up making, Eren doesn’t seem bothered by it. He opens the door of Dander’s room, allowing Levi to exit first before following behind and shutting the door behind them. He fiddles with Dander’s placard, switching the removable sign under her name that says ‘I’m looking for my purrfect match’ to ‘I’ve found my furever home’.

“So there’s no confusion if someone else comes to visit,” he explains and leads Levi back to the lobby.

It only takes about twenty minutes to get everything in order. They send him home with a few days worth of food and some of Dander’s favorite toys to get him started, and Dander herself in a cardboard kitty crate that, judging by the way it tilts back and forth regularly, she is eager to get back out of.

“Wait!”

Levi stops and turns, watches as Eren runs across the parking lot. He hands Levi a piece of paper with a number on it.

“This is my cell. Call me anytime.”

Levi raises eyebrow at him.

“About the cat.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Or anything really,” he says as he walks backwards towards the shelter. “Keep in touch, Levi.” Eren waves before turning and rushing into the building.

Levi waves back long after Eren is out of sight. It’s stiff and Levi pulls his arm back against his side almost immediately.

“He’s…weird.”

Dander meows at him loudly, her pink nose sticking out of one of the holes in the crate.

“Right. So am I.” Levi puts Dander in his car then gets in himself. “Let’s go home.”