kitten size

okay so in the world of mages the power behind spells comes from the Normals’ everyday use of language. common phrases, popular lyrics, etc. can be used as spells and the power it contains depends on how widespread the use of the phrase is. so like mages use “up up and away” as a levitation spell and it works really well cuz its a really commonly used phrase.

can you imagine the baby boomer era mages complaining about these newfangled spells the younger generation has that are so unpredictable yet exponentially more powerful than anything the mages had in the past. a student wanted to fetch his pet frog and uses “oh shit waddup” and every frog on the continent suddenly flies to him. another student points her wand at her shoes. “damn daniel” and they become blindingly white. simply saying “BODE” engorges a kitten to the size of a dragon. the Mage’s position is filled by a grouchy teen known as the Meme King. he runs a blog and is the most powerful wizard of all time.

Pocket Size

Taehyung x Reader: (f)(a)

anonymous asked:

Hi I love ur stories I was wondering if you could do a story with v when his s/o turns into a kid(for some odd reason). Sorry for the really weird request anyway thank u and I really enjoy ur stories.😊

The typical “Am I a father?!?!” question

 Workcount 7k+

A/N:Okay, this made my heart warm just to write and it sort of at times made me think of what Taehyung would be like as a father…..anyways~ enjoy this ball of fluff and I hope it melts your heart.

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

Masterlist


The bright light of the sun creeped in through the window, no lamps needed to be turned on as it illuminating the whole room. Sounds of cars honking and people talking on the streets filled the air as the open window gave everything a place to go.

Groggily, Taehyung opened his eyes only to shut them once more when white filled his field of vision, blinding him for a split second. He groaned, taking a second chance at looking out towards the world, though more cautious of the enemy threatening to steal his sight.

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Told myself it was high time I sat down and designed my RosexBumble babies, so here we go. Yeah yeah I know the kittens’ sizes are way off and all that I didn’t bother about references this time it was just quick and painless supposed to be. :P

(also I couldn’t be bothered to actually include Bumblestripe in the picture sorry buddy)

Either way here’s Thymekit and Thistlekit~ 

Thymekit is a blue-cream silver tabby tortie she-cat with hazel eyes, and her brother Thistlekit is a red silver lynx colourpoint with icy blue eyes. 

And gorgeous Rosepetal is gorgeous. 

youtube

This is my kitten, Mad Max (although we call him Floof), and he is the devil. Skip to 0:29 for vicious attack.

anonymous asked:

Hey! You seem to know something about cats, so I thought I'd ask and see if you had any advice. We recently adopted a new kitten; she's going on 11 weeks, while our old cat is 11-12 years old (but still healthy and spry). We did everything we could to encourage good interactions and only recently gave her more freedom because we thought they could handle it. Things have escalated though and they're not getting along, and there have been a few almost-fights. Any ideas on how to improve relations?

it’s tough, because sometimes you can’t avoid battles? for a brief period when she was a kitten, Grim lived with my parents & (despite a slow introduction) her favourite hobby was beating the shit out of their GIANT cat Marmaduke

Grim has a firm idea of herself (queen of all, jungle lady supreme, etc) while poor patient Marmaduke couldn’t quite accept the leadership of a kitten 1/3 his size. thus, fights

to end my story, once Grim became large & muscular enough to REALLY assert herself, poor Marm gave up. now they can be around eachother quite peacefully - it just takes time for some relationships to stabilize 

if things are severe, you could try checking out this series on The Cat Behaviour Channel. I watched it before bringing home kittens, & it helped me understand the behaviours I was seeing:

Submission by @r-nd

Um, so I’d at first reblogged because it seemed easier, especially with the length of this monstrosity, but reblog was fucking me over, so I hope you don’t mind that I’ve instead submitted this. I just—I couldn’t stand how messed up it was, and it was bugging me so bad.

I just wanted to share the idea. What can I say? I’m a share-er. Occasionally. About certain things. But I’m glad you liked the idea, and yes, I did have Thoughts about other villains. To be honest, Doom wasn’t the first villain I’d had in mind when I was thinking about which villain would fall in platonic-love with Tony. I’m not sure why I went with him first in the end. It kinda just happened?

Anyway, as a newbie in the fandom—both the comics and MCU—there aren’t a whole lot of Marvel villains I know, but since I’m not a total heathen, I at least knew Magneto. He was actually the first villain I’d had in mind. Originally, I’d intended for Tony to do something like making a charity in his family’s names: the Magda Lehnsherr Foundation to provide families of mutants with the resources they might need to raise their mutant child and the Anya Lehnsherr Foundation to help mutants get out of abusive situations.

But then I wasn’t sure how to continue from that, so I thought more about it, especially after your reply, and I ended up with something like this:

(I would like to add that this got away from me, like, by a lot. I did not intended for this to be this long, Jesus fuck.)

Erik didn’t hear it at first, too immerse in his battle with Charles’s students. It wasn’t until he’d knocked that Summers boy into a car—not hard enough to paralyze him; enemy or not, the boy was still a mutant—that he heard it: the desperate, terrified sobbing of a child.

The battle stopped. He made it stop. There was a child here. A scared child. He paid no attention to the confused looks and shouts of Charles’s students, nor the long-suffering sighs of his own men. Instead, he searched for the source of the cries.

And found what he thought was a silver cat.

It was tiny. A kitten, really, the size of his palm. When he approached it, he nearly fumbled in the air, shocked, because he could feel the presence of metal in that direction. The kitten felt like metal to his senses, which made no sense. He’d never seen a robot—it had to be a robot—so sophisticated that it looked like a real animal.

It explained the child-like sobbing at least.

He must’ve made a noise, for the kitten stopping crying—it was still sniffling, like it couldn’t bring itself to stop just yet—and looked at him with glowing maroon eyes.

Papa!” it cried with such relief that Erik didn’t register the word at first.

At first.

He choked on air when he realized what it’d said—remembered Anya, how she’d run to him every time he came home, how she’d jump at him, trusting that he’d catch her—and didn’t notice it running to him until he sensed an incoming metallic object.

It jumped.

He couldn’t—he couldn’t. Decades later, decades without Anya, and his arms still opened to catch it—she’d always had such faith in him, his little Anya. He couldn’t have stopped himself for anything in the world.

It snuggled against his chest and let out a childish, high-pitched purr.

“I looked for you everywhere,” it—she, that voice, it was the voice of a little girl—said, and Erik stared down, realizing belatedly that she was speaking German.

Why? How? Only Charles knew of his past. He’d made certain to hide his identity from the world.

(Erik Lehnsherr had died with Magda and Anya.)

“What is your name?” he asked, his iron-will ensuring that his voice did not break. (Where was his iron-will when the creature had jumped at him?)

The kitten was still rubbing its face against his chest. “Silly Papa. I don’t have a name yet. You’re ’posed to give me one, the Mechanic said so.” She looked up at him, and Erik could see, even with the glowing red eyes—an excellent intimidation tactic, he thought distantly—the utter trust in them. The faith.

“What’s my name, Papa?”

Erik decided then and there that he could kill this Mechanic. If he—she?—thought to manipulate him through his grief, or worse, thought to replace Anya, Erik would sink the Mechanic’s entire city.

“I am not your father,” he told the kitten, but the kitten simply shook her little head.

“You are. The Mechanic didn’t say so, but I know you are. Everyone’s got a Papa and a Mama, even if their Papa and their Mama don’t live together. The Mechanic’s my Mama, and since I was ’posed to look for you, you must be my Papa!”

It was the kind of logic only a child could have, and before he could stop himself, he said, “Lorna.”

It was the name Magda had wanted to give their next child if it was a girl, after that character in Lorna Doone. It was her favorite book.

Erik wasn’t sure what was more unforgivable, that he’d softened with old age or because he’d heard a little girl’s voice call him Papa. The situation was made worse by the fact that he still didn’t know if the kitten was a means to manipulate him. For all he knew, she was completely unaware that this Mechanic intended to use her against him.

“Erik?”

Raven.

He turned enough to look at her, but most of his body remained still, facing away. Shielding the kitten from everyone.

“Are you all right?”

No. No, he was not. All he had to do was hear a child call him Papa and he got attached. Pathetic.

 “I like Lorna,” the kitten piped in, so incredibly happy. “It’s a pretty name.”

Erik felt something in his chest crack.

“Can we go home, Papa? I’ve looked for you for so long. I’m tired, and it’s scary here.”

“Tell the others to withdraw,” he ordered Raven. Thankfully, his voice remained firm, seemingly unaffected by the situation, by this tiny kitten who wouldn’t stop purring and rubbing her head against his chest.

Raven’s brow raised, and he knew he’d have to explain himself to her later, but for now … for now, he couldn’t stand to be here any longer. Couldn’t stand to be out in the open with—with Lorna.

“You will tell me about the Mechanic once we get someplace safe,” he said. Not the base. As compromised as he was, he wouldn’t allow anyone to know the location of the Brotherhood’s headquarters. Lives could be on the line, especially if the Mechanic was ruthless enough to use a parent’s grief against them. A hotel, perhaps.

Lorna hummed. “Okay.”

Erik had enough presence of mind to incapacitate Charles’s students before leaving the scene and in such a way that they could not see him or Lorna. His men, though, had already seen the kitten.

It was a mark of their intelligence that they didn’t question him about her.

That’s about all I had in mind story-wise. Headcanon-wise, however …

It takes months before Erik lets his guard down about the Mechanic. In that time, he falls more and more in love with Lorna. He realizes that he’s done her a grave injustice when they first met. She isn’t Anya, nor is she Anya’s replacement. She’s her own person, and she’s such a sweet little girl. Easily frightened, though she tries to hide it and be brave, just like you, Papa.

The Brotherhood teases him about Lorna—behind his back, of course, they’re not suicidal—but after, like, two days with her, they all but worship her. She’s so tiny and cute and okay, the glowy red eyes are kinda freaky, but she’s so earnest. She calls Sabretooth Cousin because “You’re a tiger, and I’m a cat, so we’re related!” And when one day Raven gets all quiet because of the child she never had the chance to raise, Lorna’s all “Then you can raise me. I’ll be your child! Mama said some people had more than one Mama, so you can be my Pretty Mama!” Which is quickly followed by, “Not that Mama isn’t pretty. You’re just prettier.” Maybe that should’ve crossed a line, but Raven can’t help but soften for this little kitten who just wants to help.

It’s hard not to love someone who’s just that pure-hearted, okay? That’s the Brotherhood’s story and they’re sticking to it.

None of them notice how their actions are becoming less and less destructive and how they’re slowly changing from a terrorist organization into a very terrifying activist organization.

And then one day, Lorna tells Erik about how she’s linked to her big brother Jarvis, you know, just in case something happens or if she needs maintenance or something, and Erik remembers, he doesn’t know who the Mechanic is. He forgot to figure out what kind of crazy idiot sends a fucking terrorist an A.I. that, he kids you not, regularly hacks into the fucking NSA, CIA, and FBI to keep track of the government and their stance on the Brotherhood.

So he asks, and Lorna points a paw at the TV where the news is showing and says, “That’s him. That’s my Mama.”

It’s Tony fucking Stark.

It takes Erik a while to reconcile Lorna’s Mama with Tony Stark.

What Erik doesn’t know is that before all this, Tony was researching him because it seemed like a no-brainer to keep an eye on the guy who has control over metal when a metal-something is keeping him alive. And also confront the guy, you know? Deal with the guy now so there won’t be any problems of the heart-attack variety later.

Jarvis had accepted Tony going to Latveria, albeit very, very reluctantly and with so many protests, but he put his foot down at going to Erik. He controls metal, Sir, and if I have to freeze all your accounts and ground the armor, I will.

So Tony sent Lorna off, showed her who she’d be looking for and promised that Jarvis would keep an eye on her. Him, too. They’d both help as much as they could.

Tony choked on his spit when Lorna called Erik Papa. And then choked again when she called him Mama. (He’s getting desensitized to it. Dummy heard Lorna call him that, and now he calls Tony Mama, too, despite all of Tony’s efforts to stop him. Jarvis, occasionally, calls him Mother, but mostly as a joke and also when he really wants to win an argument because Tony gets all quiet and flustered and agreeable when he’s called Mother.)

Neither side meets each other until Tony’s shot down from the sky while in Iraq. Jarvis can’t get a location on the armor, it’s powered down, he can’t reach Mr. Stark, and while he’s panicking, Butterfingers, the quiet little sneak, contacts Lorna and tells her what’s happened to Mama.

Lorna cries like she hasn’t cried since the day Erik met her, and the Brotherhood? They will wage fucking war against whoever it was that made their baby girl cry like this, they are not joking around. Lorna should never be sad. She deserves all the laser pointers and cat trees her little mechanical heart desires.

Erik personally goes to Iraq, and he flies around, using his power to get a sense of something metal. It takes him a while, but after many false positives, he finally finds Tony trying to cross the desert while dragging the Iron Man armor behind him. Erik intended to intimidate him because Stark’s a hero and he most definitely is not. (He still hasn’t caught on that while he may not be a hero, he’s sure as hell no longer a villain, not by a long shot.)

But then Tony smiles and is just, Hey, Erik, what’s up? How’s Lorna? He’s seen how Erik is with Lorna. You think he’d give just anyone an A.I. and not monitor how his baby’s being treated? Of course, he’d go through Lorna’s memory banks—with her permission—and he’s seen way too much of some of the most feared mutants in the world cooing at Lorna. Him and what fear he may have had of the Brotherhood have parted ways a long time ago. Jarvis has even stopped threatening to play country instead of rock when he’s working, and if that isn’t an indicator of how much things have changed, nothing is.

One thing leads to another, and every two weeks, Tony drops by to play with Lorna and make sure everything’s okay with her maintenance-wise. Erik and the Brotherhood don’t realize how attached they’ve gotten until one day when they watch Tony guide a missile through a wormhole. After that, they basically move into his New York mansion—they’re sneaky about it, of course, because the government’s understandably still kinda touchy about them—and keep him company and help him cope.

The Avengers aren’t there, and while Erik wants to ask, he doesn’t push. Neither does any of the Brotherhood. They just remind their crazy, stupid genius that it’s not like they have anything absolutely pressing they have to do, so you know. If he needs anything.

(On a side note: Butterfingers is a shy, shy introvert. He’s almost anthropophobic. Raven has made it her mission to interact with him without him running away. She’d been insulted by that at first, but Tony assured her that he did the same to him when he first came online. So Raven keeps trying every day, that is, after both Jarvis and Tony assure her that she’s not pushing. If it seems like Butterfingers is stressed out, she backs away immediately and she never goes after him after he runs away, never even approaches him again until the next day. She hasn’t gotten Butterfingers not to run away yet, but he beeps at her before running away now, so she thinks she’s making progress.

Dummy insists on playing fetch with Sabretooth. Victor might’ve been insulted, except Dummy wants Victor to be the one throwing and he sounds so happy and pleased with himself when he brings the ball back that Victor can’t bring himself to say no. Raven would mock him endlessly about it, except she’s not immune. Dummy has this way of drooping his arm and beeping lowly and sadly that it might as well be a war crime to deny him anything.)

(On a side, side note, Vesna is Not Pleased. She’s not like Lorna, not sweet or earnest or pure-hearted. Her Mother—yes, she’s adopted that term, too, and she’ll fight with anyone who tries to tell her the Mechanic isn’t her mother—has been hurt and someone will pay.

Doom can’t deny her anything. He can’t, okay? And really, he doesn’t want to. He and Tony have a distant, but still very fond relationship, though he tells himself it’s just because he needs Tony alive to keep Vesna in good health. An attack on Tony is an attack on Doom, and Doom doesn’t tolerate attacks on his person. The attempted coup of ’02? There were no survivors. He does not play around with this, and with Vesna on his side, it’s a quick, bloodily efficient resolution.

Dummy and Butterfingers know nothing of this. Tony and Jarvis suspect, but Vesna knows better than to confirm anything. Her boys are too soft-hearted for this, and Lorna’s too pure to even consider that her big sister might’ve facilitated in the mass murder of several hundred terrorists.

It’s a secret between her and Doom.)

(Also: Apparently, I can’t add tags, but if I could, I’d add that “Tony is a reverse cat lady.” Good day.)