kitten!castiel

I just need to say, Dean made Cas a mixtape with his favourite Led Zeppelin songs.

Friendly reminder that John impressed Mary by knowing all the lyrics to Led Zeppelin songs.

Just saying, the Winchesters have a family history of using Led Zeppelin songs to woo the loves of their lives.

Y’all know what I love so much about the mixtape?

It is now canon that at some point, Dean Winchester sat down and recorded all of that music, thinking very carefully what to put on it for Cas. Then he went and gave it to Cas.

Let me stress this, at some point Dean Winchester gave Castiel a gift and he was probably all grumpy about it and trying not to make a big deal out of it, but he still gave Cas something for his truck, something to remember him by when he is on the road. That is such a sentimental (dare I say romantic) gesture.

This fact is now canon and it opens the door to so many more scene like this.

There is so much more to their relationship than we get to see.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas extended out his hand. It wasn’t the first time Cas tried to return a gift when they fought. It’s not like they fought often, but sometimes the life got in the way like it had today, sending Dean packing to his room and Cas with nothing to do but go to apologize. It’s his fault, really. Dumbass should’ve answered his phone.

“It’s a gift. You keep those.” They’d done this before, but Dean wasn’t that pissed to ignore the fact that Cas was still in his room trying. He usually just waited around outside like a lost puppy.

Castiel shifted his feet, unsure of what to do. “I should’ve ––”

“Damn right you should’ve.” Dean looked at the angel in the eye, not daring to hide the anger and pain he felt. “You go dark like that right now? I thought the worst, man. The worst.” Dammit voice for breaking at the last word. He was not gonna get emotional.

For what it was worth, it seemed to stop Cas. “There is no excuse,” he moved to sit down on Dean’s bed. Dean tracked Castiel the entire time, his jaw clenched as he waited for Cas to continue. “I-I’m sorry, Dean. There is nothing I can say…”

If he didn’t look like a lost puppy then, man did he look that way now. Dean felt himself soften even though the anger was still there. He thought back to the entire year Cas has had, between Lucifer and losing Kelly and Dagon…

“It’s been a rough year for you. I mean I’m pissed, but I get it.” Dean shifted so that they were facing each other, knees knocking together. Castiel wouldn’t meet his eyes in the slightest, but if Dean was going to say what he was about to say it was probably better that way.

“Look,” he sighed before he moved to prod Castiel’s hand so that it opened up for him. “I called you god knows how many times. I thought Dagon had gotten to you or something or worse. Then when we found her and Kelly and there was no sign of you I thought something else must’ve gotten you. I never once thought you were ignoring us…” he felt that anger again, but he steeled himself. “But you can’t do that, okay? Just, not to me.”

Castiel squeezed Dean’s hand, grounding them both. “I need a win, Dean. I need to win one for you. For myself.”

“I get it man, but you’re not the only one throwing snake eyes here.” Dean moved to grab Castiel’s other hand, the movement causing for both their heads to  inadvertently move forward so that they were nearly touching foreheads. “You and me…” He almost added and Sam, but that was not the point right now. “Face it, we’re just better together. And we’ll get that win. Together.”

Castiel moved forward so that they foreheads touched fully, nothing more to be said. Dean knew if he said anything more he might ruin it, ruin what they have right now. 

“Together,” Castiel whispered. It was enough to calm Dean down fully.

They remained that way for a while before Sam called Dean back to the bunker. The hunter squeezed the angel’s hands once more before resting his lips on the angel’s forehead for one moment. When Sam called again twice is when Dean reluctantly moved and left Castiel in his room.

For his part, Castiel then spent the next ten minutes fighting with himself over what he was about to do. Dean would kill him, or worse, if he did what he was about to do, but if it was to keep those hands from hurting an innocent soul than Castiel would move Heaven and Hell for Dean. Dean was Castiel’s reason for living, even after the hell of a year he has had. He wasn’t going to let that soul be tarnished further with this burden. The choice had been made, even if Castiel’s being didn’t know if it was right.

With tears in his eyes, Castiel grabbed the colt and left his heart in Dean’s room.