kitchen nightmares


Which do you prefer?

every episode of Kitchen Nightmares

Gordon Ramsay sits across a filthy table from a sweaty, aging man. the restaurant is cavernous, yet only six tables can be seen, each in various states of disarray. there are two customers: one is sending back her food and the other is dead at the bar. Rats crawl in and out of his pockets and open mouth.

sweaty, aging man: never in my 47 years here have i ever gotten a complaint

Gordon Ramsay: you’re a weak, Small Man. your food is frozen, the beef is raw. Fuck You

young employee:

  • Kitchen Nightmares UK version: "Mushrooms on toast is a simple dish. Just mushrooms on toast. Yours was actually pretty good, there was just a lot going on you probably didn't need."
  • Kitchen Nightmares US version: COMING UP NEXT ON KITCHEN NIGHTMARES *Ride of the Valkyries plays* *50 tracks of explosion sounds* CHEF RAMSAY DOESN'T liKE THE F00D??????!!!!!! *strobe like montage of Gordon Ramsay eating intercut with atomic bomb stock footage* "WHAT THE F%%% IS THIS F%&%ING GARBAGE????" *Chef throws plate* *shot is repeated 4 times* "UNF%%%ING BELIEVABLE" *SURROUND SOUND MACHINE GUN SOUNDS* *graphic of Gordon Ramsay literally throwing a knife at your face* *sound of shattering windows*