one of my favorite things about kitchen nightmares are the waitresses who work at the restaurants that are super fucking chipper just waiting for their managers to get their asses dragged by gordon ramsey
Gordon Ramsay sits across a filthy table from a sweaty, aging man. the restaurant is cavernous, yet only six tables can be seen, each in various states of disarray. there are two customers: one is sending back her food and the other is dead at the bar. Rats crawl in and out of his pockets and open mouth.
sweaty, aging man: never in my 47 years here have i ever gotten a complaint
Gordon Ramsay: you’re a weak, Small Man. your food is frozen, the beef is raw. Fuck You
Kitchen Nightmares UK version:
"Mushrooms on toast is a simple dish. Just mushrooms on toast. Yours was actually pretty good, there was just a lot going on you probably didn't need."
Kitchen Nightmares US version:
COMING UP NEXT ON KITCHEN NIGHTMARES *Ride of the Valkyries plays* *50 tracks of explosion sounds* CHEF RAMSAY DOESN'T liKE THE F00D??????!!!!!! *strobe like montage of Gordon Ramsay eating intercut with atomic bomb stock footage* "WHAT THE F%%% IS THIS F%&%ING GARBAGE????" *Chef throws plate* *shot is repeated 4 times* "UNF%%%ING BELIEVABLE" *SURROUND SOUND MACHINE GUN SOUNDS* *graphic of Gordon Ramsay literally throwing a knife at your face* *sound of shattering windows*
I like Kitchen Nightmares, but every so often I imagine a scenario where I’m dining out one night and suddenly Gordon Ramsay bursts out of the kitchen shouting “I’M SHUTTING IT DOWN!” and I just think Oh god what did I just eat