Saying there’s no proof of HL together or even living together but ignoring: looks, touches, hugs, kisspers, whispers, body language, domesticity, protectiveness, supportiveness, dream team, interactions, finishing each other’s sentences, always knowing what the other is thinking of or is about to say, jealousy, body language when the other one’s PR relationships are brought up, fond, living situation, when we’re home, house in L.A., the fucking giddiness when they so much as look at each other, the bubble when they only focus on each other, Louis looking for Harry when he doesn’t know where he disappeared, Harry looking for Louis when he doesn’t know where he went, coordinating their fucking wee breaks on 2 hr long concerts, where’s Harry where’s Louis gone, even as young as you are, sharing clothes, jeans, t-shirts, etc, their reaction to rings-engagement-marriage topics, the being MIA at the same time and reappearing on the same day for years, the being sick at the same time while every other band member is healthy, the blue and green, the bandana, the sharing cars, sharing hotel rooms, having the same friends, the mirroring, the tattoos, those fucking tattoos, the song lyrics???, like helloooo, the lyric changes, the throat lozenge, the we’re both kinda generous with each other, the we kind of share that really, the good lad good lad nice lil body, the fucking aimh tweet, and the family’s reaction when it beat Obama’s, the paris imterview, the video diaries, the turning away to hide his smile Tomlinson because he was so gone, the Script concert, the jumping in your arms because our band got formed, their tweets to each other, the way Louis tweeted at the asscrack of dawn about something English then disappeared for mia days, the serenading, the kicking away water bottles so you don’t fall face down, the bringing a new water bottle because i see yours is empty, the hey cutie have a nacho, the serenading, the watching each other on the big screens, the goofing around in the monitors, the other boys’ outing them, their OWN moms outing them, their own family outing them, their own friends outing them, their own co-workers outing them, other celebrities outing them, how the whole fucking world knows about them, their same habits in everything, they are legit morphing into the same person, the nicknames they use, the orbiting on stage, the secret touches, the sign language, the meal, the left and right sides respectively tattooed then used in bed for example, the fucking little spoon information, the lipbiting when looking at the other one when he’s not watching, the bruises, the innuendos, the horse rider, the he has one, the salt and vinegar, the fucking bears, the denials being a joke, the receipts, home, if i could fly, strong, happily, don’t let me go, something great, the fucking narrative, the fucking no pic of them for years and only them, and this became a long list and it’s way more than you ever wished for.
But you put all this firm and long theory into all kinds of unrealistic challenges and it is ridiculous, really.
You are in situations in your life constantly when you have to make decisions, you look up at the sky 400000 times your life and you are making immediate assumptions when seeing dark clouds and making a logical deduction SHIT IT’S GONNA RAIN.
This list I put here is the longest fucking rainstorm with clouds so dark that the only thing darker is the brain of those people who are still in denial.
I’m sitting in my car at lunch, yeah? Listening to my music on shuffle. And “If I Could Fly” comes on. And instead of lunging immediately for the skip button, I’m listening. And of course, I’m thinking.
I have often said this song is too intimate for me, that I feel like it’s meant for them alone. That I feel like I’m intruding when I listen to it. That, as a fan, it feels like I’m treading over a line somehow, like I walked into a room I didn’t belong in.
I wonder, how much of what they’ve done has been meant for them alone, that we’ve been lucky enough to bear witness to. Things can’t be as spit-in-your face obvious as matching tattoos, so as fans we’ve collected hundreds, if not thousands, of stolen moments. Sneaky private touches, fond glances and kisspers. Song lyrics written, later being serenaded to each other. Plausible deniability at its finest, able to be dismissed and denied without a second glance.
How much were we never supposed to see? “Pay attention I hope that you listen.” AH yes, but who is you?
What I’m trying, and spectacularly failing, to say in all of this is how lucky I am. As a fan, to be a witness to the greatest love story of a generation. I truly believe they will change the world with their story, and to be included before the doors open and the sun pours in, to watch the rainbow break through from the clouds, to be here in this place at this time.
It’s something we forget sometimes, I think. How wonderful it is to be here. Why we’re here. How lucky we are. Larry ok.
- complementary tattoos - wellington - “next to you” - family interactions - louis during haylor - f o n d - video diaries - happily and strong - leeds - paris interview - uan tour - kisspers - random boners - their songs - “even as young as you are” - “my first real crush” - aimh tweet