kises for u

who you should fight: KnB edition

so, I hear that you all want to know who would win if you fought the KnB characters?  well, wait no longer, because I am here to give you the facts.  the truth, straight up.  the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  here are the do’s and don’ts of who you should fight:

Kagami Taiga
who wins: Kagami (unless you are a werewolf)
Kagami’s known weaknesses are dogs, food, and tough kanji.  aside from those things, he’s pretty much invincible.  also, he’s always ready to fight.  he would be squaring up with you before you had time to finish rolling up your sleeves.  the only people to put a dent in Kagami in the entire series are Kuroko, Riko, and Kagami himself.  that’s a formidable trio, and it’s worth noting that Kagami never stays down for long.  he’s back on his feet and ready to go again in no time at all.  do not fight Kagami Taiga unless you are a Japanese teacher who is also a werewolf, and can therefore defeat him with both complex kanji and being a literal dog.

Kuroko Tetsuya
who wins: you, but at what cost?
Kuroko’s mostly weak, but be careful, if he lands a hit he could seriously damage you.  have you seen him punch the basketball across the court and call it a pass?  goddamn, you could get seriously injured if he tried that out on your squishy bits.  also, and this is important, do you have the moral high ground in this fight?  make sure you do beforehand, bc if not, you’ve just gained yourself a nemesis.  he’s a fucking stubborn little bugger and he won’t let the injustice of your victory continue.  this is the boy who took down the GoM just to prove a point.  he’s patient.  he will wait.  only choose to fight Kuroko if you don’t fear retribution.

Aomine Daiki
who wins: Aomine
so he did knock Haizaki out with one punch which was pretty impressive, but also he’s a loser and he doesn’t go to practice.  and he probably smells - all boys about that age do.  fight Aomine Daiki.  tell him to do his homework and take a shower.  he’s strong and athletic and he’ll probably win, but, damn it all, this boy needs to be fought.  his teammates will thank you for trying, and you’ll get a nice feeling of accomplishment if you manage to get a hit in.  I say go for it.

Momoi Satsuki
who wins: unknown
this is a bad decision and you will regret it immediately.  no one has ever fucked with Momoi throughout the entire KnB series and there’s probably a reason for that.  do you really want to try this and find out why?  no, no you don’t.  fighting Momoi is a bad choice and I would recommend that you do whatever you can to avoid it.

Midorima Shintarou
who wins: YOU
Midorima is a fucking nerd and you should fight him at once.  he won’t want to risk damaging his hands, so punching is out, which means his only attacks are either slapping or kicking.  there’s barely any risk for you.  you cannot lose this one unless he tries to run away with his longass legs.  protip: corner him first to avoid this.  also, at no point should you try to fight Midorima when cancer is in first place according to Oha Asa - this is when he is naturally at his strongest.  try to schedule the fight for a day when your astrological sign is ranked higher than his.  it might not mean anything, but you will have a psychological advantage and winning will be even easier.

Kise Ryouta
who wins: who cares
look, I don’t know what your beef is with Kise, but do you really want to do this?  he makes money with his face.  he’s probably insured for, like, a lot of money.  he’s absolutely ready to fight if it’s necessary (see: that time he was ready to throw down with Haizaki), but you shouldn’t let him.  the lawsuit is definitely not worth it.

Murasakibara Atsushi
who wins: how tall are you?
Murasakibara is 6′10″ and if you are taller than that you automatically win.  congratulations on being a motherfucking giant, you absolute noodle, you.  if you’re not taller than Murasakibara, I’m sorry, he’s gonna crush you.  he’s alarmingly, deceptively competitive and there’s no way he’s going to let you waste his time by attempting to beat him up when he could seeking out and consuming sweets instead.  the longer you drag the fight out, the worse it’s going to be for you in the end.  if you must fight Murasakibara, just let him beat you right at the beginning and live to fight someone else another day.

Akashi Seijuurou
who wins: Akashi
look, we both know this is a terrible idea.  that’s not going to stop me from telling you to fight him anyways.  yeah, you’ll get your ass handed to you on a silver platter, probably by a butler employed by the Akashi family specifically for that purpose, but it’s worth a shot.  god knows he deserves a good ass-kicking.  you absolutely need to fight Akashi.  it’s for the greater good.  please do it.  imagine what it’ll feel like in the fleeting moment between your fist meeting his face and your soul leaving your body.

anonymous asked:

I need these little shits to loose their composure (their shits) and become super nervous to the point of stuttering. Can i have akashi, kise, aomine, himuro, takao, imayoshi, haizaki meeting their dream girl/wet dreams on legs/god is that you. Damn, bitch, you fine~/or just long time crush

(what if she is all of that for them)

Akashi’s a composed guy, so he’ll probably take your hand and kiss it gently. But he’s also a little out of touch with ‘commoner practises’ like dating, so expect him to ask, “It would be my greatest pleasure if you allow me to court you.”

When you accept, he gives a gentle smile and squeezes your hand gently. But what you can’t see is that he’s actually sweating a ton, and his heart is flip flopping in his chest. The idea makes him chuckle- is it true, is the Akashi Seijuurou actually nervous in front of his love.

“Why’d you chuckle?” You’ll ask.

“Nothing, my dear. Just delighted to be in your company.”

Kise’s rather prone to blushing easily, even if he likes to pretend he’s some kind of suave ladies’ man. His cheeks will be rosy pink, and he’ll grab your shirt and force you to to turn around and face him.

Your curious eyes gaze at him, and Kise wants to melt into a puddle of goo, because he’s never been so anxious yet so in love before. “_-_____cchi,” the nickname tumbles from his lips before he can stop it. You obviously detect the nervousness in his tone and place a comforting hand on his arm, giving it a squeeze.

“Stop! _____cchi, stop!” He yells, and you recoil, hurt. Kise shuts his eyes tight and manages to get what he wanted to say out.

“______cchi! You are making it very hard for me to confess when you keep acting cute like that!”

Aomine sighs in bliss when he enters another fantasy-realm in his mind where you’re dating him. He can just imagine, you dressing as a sexy cheerleader for him, making sure his belly is full and napping with him. Nothing makes him happier than when his mind offers him this sweet reprieve from his tiresome lessons.

Only a tugging of his sleeve gets him out of his reverie. He’s about to scold the pest, thinking it’s Sakurai, but it’s really just you, looking at him in concern. He snaps upright in his seat and turns to face you.

Damn it, why is the room so hot, he thinks, fanning himself with his collar.

“Aomine-kun,” you say, “you’ve got pen ink on your cheek.”

Aomine sputters incoherently for a moment, before burying his head in his hands out of shame.

Himuro: Now it takes a lot to get this guy to blush because he hardly ever looses his cool. But when a lone figure is waiting for him after practise at the entrance of the gym, Himuro’s hopes soar to the sky. He knows it’s you and he rushes over, with a dusting of pink all over his cheeks.

“______! This is a surprise,” he says, flashing you a charming smile.

“Himuro-kun,” you reach into your bag for something. Himuro is sure it’s a confession letter, and you’re someone he definitely doesn’t want to turn down, so he prepares his best smile and body posture despite his thundering heart.

“I was wondering which part of the project you wanted to do?” You ask, showing him your worksheet, which was discussed in class earlier today.

“UH,” is all he says, too shocked to formulate a proper response.

Takao’s a bright and bubbly guy who doesn’t get flustered easily, except when he’s around you. When he sees you walking down the hallway towards him, he tugs Midorima’s sleeve and hides behind him. The action surprises Midorima, causing him to nearly drop his lucky item.

“Fool,” he curses, “what do you think you’re doing!”

“Shin-chan,” whispers Takao, “it’s her! My dream girl, and she’s walking towards me for some reason and I-”

“Takao-kun?” He hears your sweet, sweet voice ask him. Removing himself from behind Midorima, he peeks at you.

“Yes?”

“You, um, dropped this,” you say, handing him his wallet.

“O-oh, thank you,” Takao replies.

“Nice ID picture by the way,” you giggle, a little pink to your cheeks. Takao’s face turns tomato red and he hops back to his spot behind Midorima to hide in shame.

Imayoshi’s sly grin drops off his face when you randomly appear in the gym during practice. He thought you were some other girl coming to the gym for who-knows-what but when you are the one who walks through those doors, every rational thought he has flies out of the window.

“_______-chan,” he runs over to you, waving a hand casually, “w-what are you doing here?”

“Sakurai-kun asked me to make these because he was busy last night,” you say, handing him a container of honey-soaked lemons. Imayoshi’s mouth waters and his heart thuds like drum, when he reaches out to take the container from you.

He can see you wiping your hands on your skirt subtly as you leave the gym and he curses his sweaty palms, but mostly curses his inability to keep his cool around you.

Haizaki didn’t ever think he’d find himself in this situation: have a puppy crush on you. Sure you were his friend, sure you were hot, and sure the two of your got along really well, but.

Nothing will ever stop the sickening feeling of butterflies in his tummy when you grin at him and nothing will stop the dreams he has of you either. Some turn out to be good, while others turn out to be even better.

“Oi, Haizaki,” you conk the back of his head when he drifts off during a math lesson. Haizaki’s eyelids snap open and he turns to face you, a harsh string of words already on his tongue, but instead finds himself tongue-tied and dumbfounded.

“Pay attention you idiot!” You hiss, out of concern for his grades not out of malice.

“Uh, okay,” he complies, a response which surprises the both of you. You guess he’s a little drowsy and so his defences are lowered, but Haizaki knows better. He knows his soft spot is growing exponentially.

anonymous asked:

Can i have scenarios of my babies from teiko (the gom+haizaki+nijimura) and the 'beauty' of puberty (from squweeking voice to awkward boners stories)

(oh my god i love this ask!!?!?!)

Kuroko: He doesn’t get that much of a growth spurt, which makes him burn with envy, but on the inside. Thankfully, this boy is rather pure, so he doesn’t have any awkward boner stories. And he’s rather quiet too, so nobody really catches him when his voice does that embarrassing breaking thing. 

Kise: Puberty went smoothly for him. His cute looks transformed into his pretty boy looks, and he gained some nice muscle and height. However, having to deal with this newfound attractiveness and the popularity it attracted was difficult for Kise. Especially when talking to his fangirls sometimes brought out his voice breaking. He’s lowkey jealous that he doesn’t have much facial hair because he thinks that makes him ‘less manly’. 

Midorima: He shot up in height, which shocked his parents, as well as delighted them. You can surely imagine poor Shin-chan’s embarrassment, though, when his voice broke. He turned red and in his mortification, made a silent promise never to speak again until his voice deepened properly. 

Aomine: Another one with embarrassing voice cracks, who Satsuki teased relentlessly. He had a growth spurt over one summer, which meant he had to get new uniforms and clothes because the old ones no longer fit him. Also, middle school Aomine, upon newly discovering the wonders of gravure and porn, had many an embarrassing wet dream and random boners in class. 

Murasakibara: Poor Mukkun had to deal with growing pains along with his growth spurt. He found that buying clothes in Japan was difficult and tiresome. He, however, was nothing short of displeased when all his team mates got cool deep voices, and he still had a relatively squeaky one (i love suzuken as him ok don’t get me wrong!!). Murasakibara also chanced upon his older brother’s porn stash one day, which meant the weeks to follow were filled with random boners here and there. 

[EDIT: i forgot akashi lmao] Akashi: He, too, didn’t get much that of a growth spurt, especially compared to his counterparts, which left him really pissy. His voice would squeak and crack and break every time he spoke, and he found his intimidating disposition very hard to keep up with. Unfortunately, even the absolute Akashi wasn’t prone from accidental boners, and resorted to thinking about his father, the number one boner killer. 

Haizaki: He actively combats the newfound BO with copious amounts of axe body spray. I mean, he’s gotta smell the part too, you know. Haizaki loves what his voice sounds like, though, because he can be all sorts of intimidating now. He’s horny practically all the time, though, and is the victim of the classic ‘I have a boner and I have to go up to the board to answer a question’ trope.  

Nijimura: He bulks up a little with puberty, along with a deepening voice, both of which make him really glad. Facial hair, though, not so much. If he didn’t shave, he’d look like a dad, which didn’t help with the whole ‘tough guy’ image he associated himself with. 

Bonus! Momoi: She doesn’t think puberty is all bad, especially compared to what Aomine is going through, because all that happens to her is that her boobs grow. Her waist becomes a little slimmer and she loses some of her baby fat. That’s until she gets her period. The Teiko basketball team knows not to cross paths with her then, or they’ll end up beaten into a bloody pulp. Satsuki is vicious on her period. 

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anime wallpapers (540x960): kuroko no basuke - generation of miracles [jersey numbers] + kuroko (2/?)

Feel free to use but please don’t steal/claim as your own!

Character analysis-Midorima Shintarō

I have this need to understand every character better because their personalities and inner conflicts run so deep and Kuroko’s emotions puzzled me at first. Currently I’m interested in Midorima’s behavior and I wanna see why people often find him stuck up and snobbish. I honestly think he just cares so much and he can’t really express his emotions. (Thank goodness he has Takao.) For example, in episode 65Q “We no longer”, Aomine has had enough and he leaves practice, Murasakibara shows his strength and decides to rebel against Akashi which only results in Akashi finally snapping and splitting his personality in two and Midorima and Kise are the only ones who are left in the end. Kuroko is so hurt, he lost his best friend, Aomine, and his other friends are drifting away, his team, everything is falling apart in front of his eyes. Kise said that there’s less of that feeling that they’re all buddies. Midorima is annoyed with Aomine’s and Murasakibara’s behavior but only because he can’t stand people giving up. All 5 of them lack understanding for each other, they are developing in rapid speed and they can’t cope with it, but I’m here to express my own opinion on Midorima’s words. He said, as the picture shows, that he can’t act friendly to those that quit, that give up. He values practice and that’s why Shutoku was such a great environment for him to grow and become a true player who plays with his heart and for his team and not just for himself like before. Yes, he is confident, but what’s wrong with that? He always does his work, he never misses and he believes in himself. That’s what makes you great! And besides, let’s never forget that he is only a 16 year old boy who has experienced tremendous amount of pressure to do his best, and most of that pressure he put on himself. So in conclusion, there’s more to Midorima than what he chooses to show on the outside. He may seem prideful and egoistic, but he just wants to do his best and he never leaves anything to occasion. Luckily, in the end, they all find their ways but I still choose to believe that Midorima knows how short this life is and therefore he gets annoyed when people throw everything away and give up without thinking twice about their heart’s true desire. 

Kise-wanko and yama-kun clothes swap!

These two are in my top faves they’re so fucking cute

Also Kise’s likely taller than yama-kun, assuming yama-kun’s 170+cm (most fanarts have him shorter than jijii and ccp-kun lol)

the convo between them would be depressing though cause yama-kun and his complex

Why do all colours look so off on my 1st computer yet they look fine on the 2nd sob