kings ari

The signs in royal court

Aries: the hotblooded prince that can’t wait to be king

Taurus: that one guard/knight who would rather be a gardener but still won’t let you pass

Gemini: the socialite that gets everywhere and knows everybody’s plans but doesn’t give a fuck

Cancer: the princess whom everyone likes even tho they can be super melodramatic

Leo: is the king and everyone has to know it but otherwise is super chill

Virgo: the trusted advisor that always reminds the royal family they have shit to do and makes a list for them of what that shit is

Libra: the queen that tries to keep everyone’s shit together and looks super fab

Scorpio: the count who could probably rule themselves but won’t betray their royal family /don’t like the limelight so they just pull strings from the shadows 

Sagittarius: the prince who’s always out on a quest and brings home dragon heads/eggs with glee

Capricorn: the neighboring overlord who seems very intimidating but is actually a okay ruler

Aquarius: the resident alchemist who is way ahead their times with ideas for technology, probably sells their shit to Capricorn and keeps the rest for ‘later’

Pisces: the royal magician who’s a little mad but nobody questions them

The signs as female Shakespearean characters

Aries: Desdemona (Othello)

Taurus: Cordelia (King Lear)

Gemini: Beatrice (Much Ado About Nothing)

Cancer: Miranda (The Tempest)

Leo: Titania (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

Virgo: Juliet (Romeo and Juliet)

Libra: Hermia (A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream)

Scorpio: Lady Macbeth (Macbeth)

Sagittarius: Helena (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

Capricorn: Viola (Twelfth Night)

Aquarius: Katherina (Taming of the Shrew)

Pisces: Ophelia (Hamlet)

The Signs As Musicals

Aries: Les Misérables (2012)

Taurus: The Sound of Music (1965)

Originally posted by film-picks

Gemini: The Phantom of The Opera

Originally posted by playbill

Cancer: The King and I (1956)

Originally posted by playbill

Leo: Cabaret (1972)

Originally posted by eccentricauntie

Virgo: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Originally posted by dontmesswiththeleprechaun

Libra: My Fair Lady (1964)

Originally posted by janeaustenrunsmylife

Scorpio: Sweeney Todd (2007)

Originally posted by lottiflowe18

Sagittarius: Oliver! (1968)

Capricorn: Grease (1978)

Originally posted by teenvogue

Aquarius: Mary Poppins (1964)

Originally posted by sarcasm4lunch

Pisces: Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

Originally posted by best-movies-ever-made

Signs as Disney Songs

Aries: Hakuna Matata

Taurus: Be Our Guest

Gemini: Under the Sea

Cancer: Go the Distance

Leo: You’re Welcome

Virgo: Almost There

Libra: Let It Go

Scorpio: I’ve Got a Dream

Sagittarius: I’ll Make a Man Out of You

Capricorn: Colors of the Wind

Aquarius: Friend Like Me

Pisces: Someday My Prince Will Come

  • Feel a little more: Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius
  • Give a little less: Aries, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Pisces


Call me Helen. You may have noticed that I am not Ari Bach, the usual factmaker of this blog. Ari is busy with this special event for the release of his new novella, THE MILLENNIAL KING, but wants someone to liveblog it all. So here I am.

And here we are at Ari’s big event: BACHanalia. Get it? It’s like Bacchanalia (a Roman drunken orgy festival) but with one C, because his name is Ari Bach. Clever little brat, ain’t he? Apparently he missed that it also contains the word “anal.”

This party is gonna rock though: We’ve invited literally hundreds of friends, cosplayers, book critics, celebrities and random people from downtown who looked like they knew how to have fun. There’s free alcohol ranging from hard cider to hard liquor (including real Absinthe!), there’s free food coming from five restaurants, a live metal band called Smegmata, a Kindle E-reader to give away, and in the arena floor, a real ball pit like at Chuck E. Cheese’s but bigger! AND- We have the most epic guest speakers ever: Darth Vader and Obi Wan themselves, Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor!!! It’s about to begin, I’ll post when I can :D

The signs as King gifs


Originally posted by shokugekis


Originally posted by yo-i-dont-even-know


Originally posted by le-charibo


Originally posted by gabs-anime-freak


Originally posted by le-charibo


Originally posted by realityisjustacrappygame


Originally posted by sansan9


Originally posted by vyctornikiforov


Originally posted by akumaslayer


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Originally posted by kaizoku-niiichan


Originally posted by kaizoku-niiichan


Modern King George The Third Aesthetic

Currently Doing State + Hamilton Aesthetics

Not Taking Requests

( inspired by : Royalty, Monarch, and Power )

The Signs as Disney Villain Songs

Aries: Be Prepared

Taurus: Mine, Mine, Mine

Gemini: Trust In Me

Cancer: Poor Unfortunate Souls

Leo: Shiny

Virgo: Oogie Boogie’s Song

Libra: Hellfire

Scorpio: Friends on the Other Side

Sagittarius: Gaston

Capricorn: Love is an Open Door

Aquarius: Heffalumps and Woozles

Pisces: Mother Knows Best


Aries: King Neptune

Originally posted by lifesmellsweird

Taurus: Patrick Star

Originally posted by achingtentacles

Gemini: Gary 

Originally posted by achingtentacles

Cancer: Spongebob Squarepants

Originally posted by fabulous-by-choice

Leo: Larry the Lobster

Originally posted by achingtentacles

Virgo: Squidward Tentacles

Originally posted by mtv

Libra: Pearl Krabs

Originally posted by dope-alien

Scorpio: Plankton

Originally posted by the-pottydactyl

Sagittarius: Sandy Cheeks

Originally posted by achingtentacles

Capricorn: Mr. Krabs

Originally posted by youngdreamerlove

Aquarius: Karen Plankton

Originally posted by lesbang

Pisces: Mrs. Puff

Originally posted by majoratheexplora

The signs as characters from Hamilton the Musical

Aries: King George

Taurus: Aaron Burr

Gemini: Angelica Schuyler

Cancer: John Laurens

Leo: Alexander Hamilton

Virgo: Hercules Mulligan

Libra: Marquis de Lafayette

Scorpio: Peggy Schuyler

Sagittarius: George Washington

Capricorn: Eliza Schuyler

Aquarius: James Madison

Pisces: Maria Reynolds


I’m thinking of having a release event for The Millennial King.

What would be best?

  • A medieval themed fair with an emphasis on cosplay
  • A book critic gathering and signing for fans
  • A drunken orgy with an Opeth cover band
  • A TED Talk type event about the book’s themes
  • A triple feature of Princess Bride, Holy Grail, and Shrek
  • A public reading by myself or a celebrity like Ewan McGregor
  • A convention of some sort, Ooh- maybe some kind of ball pit!

Bit of a full body study of a concept of Bog’s father - we’re playing with the name Senegal at the moment.

Our current headcanon is that Bog’s father isn’t a goblin (or at least a goblin like seen in the movie) but is instead a member of a race of druids or tree dwellers? They vary in appearance much like goblins do, but have a lot of features from trees and insects (and generally have armor that camouflages them in their ‘home tree’ - for example Bog’s grandmother has an extremely pale exoskeleton because she’s based off of Aspen trees.) They also tend to wander about quite a bit, which sort of explains how Senegal gets to the Dark Forest and decides to hang for a bit.

Dwellers are gangly and thin like Bog, though generally have much longer limbs and stronger hands and feet for actually gripping the tree bark. They’re well known for their perfect camo, and honestly Senegal’s initial introduction to Griselda is when she notices him hanging from a tree just staring at the smol goblin whom everybody seems to be terrified of. He doesn’t mean to be hiding from her, as from his point of view he’s out in the open and very conspicuous, but from her perspective here’s this freaky twig man just watching her like some sort of bird of prey.

- Ari

The signs as cartoons
  • Aries: Family Guy
  • Taurus: Adventure Time
  • Gemini: Tom and Jerry
  • Cancer: Bob's Burgers
  • Leo: Spongebob Squarepants
  • Virgo: The Cleveland Show
  • Libra: Simpsons
  • Scorpio: South Park
  • Sagittarius: American Dad
  • Capricorn: King of the Hill
  • Aquarius: Futurama
  • Pisces: Gravity Falls