king-of-dirt

anonymous asked:

In page 18 of this chapter, we see a cloaked individual wielding a sword in the left panel. It reminded me of Amon, but he isn't a king. So, does Kaneki carry a Quinque by now. It seems that there is a time skip too.

Hello Anon! And you mean this panel, I presume?

I can see why you mentioned a quinque, although I couldn’t be less sure that it’s one. However, I am almost 200% convinced that this person is supposed to be Kaneki (aka the OEK/the “nameless king”) or someone that’s impersonating him on purpose to go with “the plan”. So, sorry but I doubt it’s Amon or Yoshimura or Eto or Arima.

But for real, you know what I’m interested about? The “moon” symbolism that is shown behind/in front of the “king”. Obviously, it’s not the moon itself since they’re underground but still, considering that we’re apparently still in the moon stage of the Fool’s journey (according to our experts on tumblr :D), I find this image to be quite intriguing. 

The moon phase is precisely about illusions and things not being exactly as they appear to be, so who knows if that doesn’t apply to our “king” here as well. That’s why I mentioned that this king figure is supposed to be in reference to Kaneki (who is the OEK) but might not be Kaneki himself especially since…

…Kaneki is supposedly dead to the ghoul world’s eye. 

So this king is most definitely a symbol of hope and of rebellion but is it really Kaneki covered in poop, that I can’t say. That’s even why some ghouls referred to him as “nameless” -> maybe several Goat members are taking turn at being “the King” covered in dirt, so that the symbol always stays around while it’s not always the same person who has to be dirty all the time (but again I doubt it’s Amon, as Amon didn’t really want to help the ghouls’ side :/).

As a Berserk fan, I have to admit that this moment also reminded me of Femto’s birth during the eclipse, as we had a dark sun (instead of a moon) hovering above during the entire scene…

and Femto…

looked filthy too. xD

(and also everyone going “king king king king” in the 24th ward made me thinking of the Apostles welcoming Femto as the 5th Angel)

Finally, I agree that it’s very likely there is a time skip between ch126 and ch127, although a few days or weeks seem more likely than a timeskip of a few months in my opinion. I think it was left ambiguous on purpose by Ishida though, so we will have to see if we get more hints as to when the new chapter happened. 

I hope it helps a little! Have a nice weekend. 

so i’ve had this kinda random idea of neighbour!astro so like,, here’s a neighbour!astro au in which all of the guys live on the same floor of an apartment building! 


Myungjun

  • everyone in the building knows who he is and loves him
  • like myungjun doesn’t leave, return to, (etc) his apartment without saying hello and smiling at every single person he passes 
  • he’s always ruffling kids hair on the way by and always has candy with him to hand them
  • at first all of the parents were freaked out by this dude giving their kids candy but eventually they got used to it bc they realized myungjun is literally a harmless bean
  • there’s a lot of house plants in his apartment
    • succulents on the desk in his bedroom
    • a flower called a clivia on the living room table (everyone says this flower is just myungjun as a plant due to it’s orange and yellow petals)
    • grows aloe and various herbs in the window in his kitchen
    • random flowers and other plants scattered around the various rooms of his house
  • once sanha broke one of his plants and he cried 
    • he didn’t talk to sanha for a whole week and only forgave him when sanha bought him a new plant
  • doesn’t care at all about anything else in his apartment looking good though and jinwoo is constantly yelling at him bc “myungjun hyung you literally have yellow walls and your bedsheets are blue and you have purple and green striped pillows whAT ArE YOu dOIng” 
  • jinwoo has tried like five times to get him to buy matching stuff and each time myungjun gets out of it by distracting jinwoo with his flirting skills™️
    • cue flustered jinwoo with super red cheeks and barely responding to anything myungjun says
  • he introduced all of the guys to one another and they all kinda credit him for their friend group
  • is the friend who brings them all coffees, treats, etc whenever he goes out
  • loved unconditionally by everyone for his ever present smile and positivity around the building

Jinwoo

  • has his dog’s name on the name plate next to his door alongside his
    • everyone thought that it was the name of his child for a really long time bc he refers to his dog as his kid and bc his dog’s name is jihun which is a pretty common name
    • takes his dog on runs/walks every day and when he sees the old women in the park doing yoga/exercising he yells out a “looking great ladies” with his signature smile nd literally all of them are in love with him 
    • ”omg i wish he would marry my daughter” “psh please mrs. kang i want him to marry me” (sucks for all of them though bc he only has eyes for myungjun)
  • has way too many things for his dog scattered around his apartment,,, somehow his house is nearly as neat as dongmin’s
  • his apartment is the epitome of aesthetic and everyone who comes in is jealous of his white walls and white bed sheets and completely matching green accents
  • (if only he could keep a plant alive, then it would be perfect in his mind)
  • only has mugs in his kitchen and no one knows why he doesn’t own any glasses 
  • he met myungjun bc he was constantly throwing out dead house plants and myungjun saw and started to leave ones he had been taking care of for a while outside jinwoo’s door
    • kept it up for like 3 weeks before jinwoo finally caught him trying to sneak back into his apartment across the hall
    • jinwoo thinks that he should probably be offended that myungjun had no faith in his ability to grow a plant but he can’t be upset bc the cutest guy in his building is giving him plants and its a great excuse to talk to him for “tips on keeping his plants alive”
  • is the one of his friend group who all of them go to for advice whenever they’re having trouble with something
    • he’ll sit them down on his couch with a mug of tea and let them pet his dog as they rant to him about whatever is wrong
    • gives them great advice and a good hug before sending them back to their own apartments
  • highkey the kindest and most genuine hearted person in the building and he always has something nice to say to everyone he sees when leaving, coming, walking around, (etc)

Dongmin

  • has been living in the building for the longest time of all of the guys
  • he tutors like half the kids in the building in various subjects ranging from science to english
  • he met myungjun the week that he moved in bc he thought myungjun was trying to kidnap one of the kids he tutors
    • myungjun ran into the boy as he was returning to his apartment and told the kid to come in for a minute bc he just bought new chocolates
    • cue dongmin freaking the heck out bc he thought that his new next door neighbour was actually going to murder the 10 year old or something
    • calmed down after myungjun explained himself and gave dongmin some chocolate too
  • his house is literally spotless and no one knows how he does it bc he’s so busy
    • though it’s not as aesthetic as jinwoo’s apartment it’s super nice and well decorated and put together
    • has complete matching utensils and plates and glasses (and even has a set of wine glasses)
    • a closet that, according to myungjun, is “bigger than my bathroom wtf” and is filled with super nice pieces of clothing that the other guys steal from time to time
  • doesn’t talk to everyone he sees bc usually he’s rushing around to get home for tutoring, to school, or to his part time job but always offers everyone a smile
  • the most organized and put together person in the building,, you’ll never catch him in any drama like he’s so lowkey it’s unbelievable 
  • hosts weekly drama-watching nights for all the guys bc his living room is the biggest
    • doesn’t get caught in any irl drama but will binge watch an entire show in 24 hours and rant to anyone who will listen about why it sucks/is a must see while in the laundry room
  • everyone who lives in the building either wants to be him, marry him, or have one of their kids marry him tbh

Bin

  • everyone in the building describes him as “unique”
  • no one really knows him that well but they also can’t really complain about him bc for the most part he’s a great neighbour
    • he’s quiet and keeps pretty much to himself,, never really has people over very often 
  • lowkey a hoarder though bc he finds things that he thinks are cute, different, (etc) at stores and buys them for no real reason and then stacks them on his shelves
    • dongmin is always trying to get rid of these little trinkets like “wtf bin why do you need this mini statue of a rooster??” “bc it’s cute, okay, and the lady told me it was a good luck charm i can’t get rid of it”
  • highkey in love with dongmin,,, everyone knows it,,, even dongmin knows it,, but it’s okay bc dongmin is highkey in love with bin too
    • the two spend hours together /studying/ but actually study bc they just like being around each other even if they’re not talking
    • sanha, being the buildings Drama King, has tried to find dirt on their “study dates” but can’t bc they literally just study
    • go on coffee dates 25/8 bc they’re both struggling university students, pray for them (sanha and minhyuk are constantly annoyed that they don’t get invited for coffee bc they are also struggling university students, jinwoo reminds them that dongmin and bin are in love™️ and they need to chill)
  • he’s the only one who actually knows how he and myungjun met bc myungjun doesn’t remember
    • bin lives across the hall and to the left of myungjun, next door to jinwoo
    • basically he lives on the end of the hall, with jinwoo in the middle and minhyuk on jinwoo’s other side; sanha lives directly across from him, myungjun in the middle of the opposite side and dongmin on myungjun’s other side
    • one night myungjun somehow manages to knock on the wrong door and totally confess to jinwoo how much he likes having him as a friend bc he’s only his second friend in the building aside from dongmin
    • except he tells bin all this stuff and bin is like “uhh i mean, i know i’m great but who are you??” 
    • they end up friends after that somehow,, it helps that myungjun is friends with dongmin 
  • bin will bring all the cats back home each time he comes back to his apartment
    • like he’ll see a familiar black cat and be like “oh that’s miss. kim’s cat, mina, i better bring her home!!” 
    • then gets the cat to follow him home bc cats love him for some reason and returns the cat to it’s apartment 
  • smiles so much bc he loves smiling and being smiley and everyone loves seeing him walking around
  • super nice when you get to know him but comes off as slightly intimidating
    • the guys know he cries at dramas, and offers to fight anyone who hurts them

Minhyuk

  • athlete extraordinaire in a nontraditional way
    • aka the shelves of his apartment are filled with dance and taekwondo trophies 
  • really quiet and pretty shy tbh like no one really talks to him unless he wants them to
  • he lived next to jinwoo for almost a month before anyone met him
    • they literally never saw him and thought maybe it was some kind of ghost tenant or something living in the apartment
    • and then one night when myungjun was working jinwoo went over bc he heard minhyuk playing a song by bts that he really liked the dance to
    • cue him and minhyuk bonding over dance and becoming dance buddies
  • his apartment is really messy,,, like there’s clothes covering every spot in his room and no one knows how he can tell anything apart
    • he’s the person who will just grab a random shirt off the floor like “eh this is good” and wear it 
    • dongmin is always telling him to clean up but he doesn’t ever listen
  • he’s really observant which is a benefit of being quiet and not talking much
    • him not talking much is also why him and sanha bond so well bc sanha incessantly talks but in like a good way bc minhyuk loves it
  • hardcore pining after sanha and everyone knows it except sanha bc he’s oblivious
    • does absolutely anything sanha asks him to bc he just cares about him so much
    • even helps him with finding dirt/drama about people around the building even though it’s not really his thing
  • he heard about a few of the kids wanting to attend dance lessons and not being able to afford it so he convinced bin and jinwoo to help him teach them for free,,, took none of the credit even though it was 110% his idea
  • everyone has a lot of respect for him bc they know he works hard 
  • is super polite to everyone so pretty much everyone likes him and they leave him alone for the most part
  • definitely the balancing personality in his friend group bc while he can be excited and joking when he wants to be he’s pretty serious for the most part and makes sure they’re not doing, saying, (etc) anything silly or stupid

Sanha

  • only moved in like 3 months ago and lives on myungjun’s other side
    • when he moved in myungjun helped him carry some boxes up without even saying anything to sanha first
    • the poor boy thought this guy was trying to steal his stuff and only realized myungjun was helping him after he yelled at him
    • quickly forgave him bc they live right beside each other and have quite a bit in common
  • absolute Drama King like he doesn’t start it or get involved in it but he knows everything there is to know about everyone
    • he goes to tea at the houses of the gossip ladies and bc he seems so innocent they just talk about everything in front of him
    • someone: “did you hear about what miss. kang did with mrs. kim’s husband??” 
    • sanha: “uhh no please fill me in” 
  • all the ladies love him and invite him back every single week
  • he doesn’t spill any of the secrets he learns unless he has to,,, chaotic good tbh
  • his house is surprisingly clean,,, bc he’s so young everyone expects it to be like minhyuk’s but somehow it isn't 
    • his plates, bowls, cups, other kitchenware are yellow and everyone loves it bc they think they’re adorable
    • constantly falls asleep at the desk in his room due to staying up late to do homework and jinwoo is always telling him he needs to get proper sleep and use his bed
  • the buildings largest child tbh,, everyone kinda watches out for him and all the parents pinch his cheeks and think he’s adorable 
  • the most oblivious person on earth
    • everyone has told him that minhyuk likes him, including the gossip ladies but he won’t listen bc he’s stubborn
    • doesn’t believe that his huge crush isn’t one sided until minhyuk kisses him one day while they’re having a very very rare argument about something
    • when the guys find out they yell/say variations of “finally” and myungjun buys minhyuk ice cream as a congratulations
  • like myungjun, he’s super positive and always smiling his super nice smile and everyone loves having him around
youtube

ayyyy

  • Ryan: Alright. So, here's are take away from today. We've fucking mastered wood. Wood is our bitch.
  • Michael: Wood and dirt. Wood and dirt.
  • Ryan: Wood and dirt. I am overrun with wood and dirt.
  • Michael: I am a fucking... I am the king of dirt. I have found my rightful place in Minecraft. Just give me leaves and I'll make dirt.
  • Ryan: And then we can start turning that into stone.
  • Michael: Alright. Shoot. I can't wait till we can get Jack back here. I mean, the construction kinda slows down when the general contractor isn't here to tell you what's happening.
  • Jeremy: I don't know what we're doing. I made a whole bunch of shit. I don't know what's happening. I cooked a worm and eat it.
  • Gavin: We need Jack back because I tried to make stairs to the top of this thing, and I bollocksed it.
  • Ryan: What have you done!?
  • Jeremy: How did you even do this?
  • Michael: Jack, you left, Gavin built a staircase to nowhere, Jeremy ate some worms...
  • Gavin: It's not going to nowhere, Michael. Look at the state of it.
  • Ryan: It's just wrong in every way.

I’m translating some edition of Grimm’s fairy tales right now so it means I spend some quality time with those texts and… like have you ever notices how the dads there are really strange?

12 Dancing Princesses:
King locks up his 12 daughters every night, like doors and windows and everyting, but they have worn out shoes every morning so he calls a competition for princes - who an tell me what the fuck are my daughters doing will get one of them as a bride. - that is not that creepy, but the prince comes and the king is like…
“oh hello, chap, here, come with me to my bedroom, which is next to my girls’ room and I have a secret door to their room so you can stay here and watch them all night, getting undressed and shit and although I lock them up to protect them against strangers like a madman, I’ll aloow you to just… spend a night there.”

Snow white:
King: omh, snow white is the best thing that happened to me, I love my baby so much, my little tiny princess
(queen dies, he’ll marry again, snow white is now forced to wear rags and to work in the kitchen)
Random bloke #1: but my king, what about your poor princess daughter working her ass off in dirt?
King: what
Random bloke #2: um, king, we haven’t seen snow white for a while and your wife has been seen eating a raw heart?
King: who is snow white

as I’ll go through the rest, I’ll keep you updated.

anonymous asked:

Portugal and saudade please? ❤️❤️❤️

Hallowed ground meant nothing but the only thing that separated him from his dead beloved. Such a precious flower now stained in deep red that flourished from her insides and the cold whiteness of Death.

Weeped the lord King D.Pedro as he dug incessantly, finally unburying his lady, his queen, Inês de Castro.
Pedro, Kingdom of Portugal, observed his homonymous King rescuing his Eurydice from the Underworld as a tragic hero.

Portugal was still a youngest in the matters of the heart, too young to fully understand the idiosyncrasies of the heart, the pain and sorrow that moved his King but somehow Pedro started to share the grief and longing of his sovereign.

The miserable hollow hole on his chest. Infinite melancholy. Wishing so painfully, so intensely, such sweet overwhelming desire for something unobtainable. 

Ah yes, he had felt it before such similar bittersweet agony, he had just prefered to ignore it until that moment.
It made him feel so fragile, him, a Kingdom built on war and cunningness. 

Far away the sun was setting, its rays illuminating the opened grave and the deep, ominous church bells with their monocordic voice announced the voices of the Saints from the Heavens above, judging the sacrilegious act that was being practiced.

But seeing his King cleaning the traces of dirt from Inês’ semblance while amorously kissing her forehead, Portugal did not found a hint of fear from the Judgement Day. Only sadness and rage and love and fury and passion and the deepest longing coming from the depths of his being.

Come now Pedro. - said his King, carrying Inês on his arms - A Kingdom needs a Queen and you shall have yours.

How Portugal shivered with those words.

Long they travelled, the King D.Pedro and Portugal, the latter understanding little by little the depths of that terrible power that he felt so his. 
In sorrow he was growing.

The court yelled in horror, the blasphemy had entered on the throne room in the shape of a dead woman carried on the King’s arms, followed by Portugal himself, indiferent to everyone’s shocked looks.

Sat down the Queen of Portugal on her throne and after observing her lovely, wax like face forever silent and lips as pale as bones, approached Pedro in all his status as Kingdom of Portugal and kissed her cold frail hand.

Death was his Queen now, Queen Inês de Castro the one who taught him what saudade was.

send me an aph character and a theme and i’ll write a short text about them


(this was hard to write in english, it’s those themes that lose half of the feeling and sentiment if not written in portuguese in my opinion but I did my best.

Also, I can’t believe that no one has written about the History of Portugal in this fandom.
Well now here you go, the story of Pedro I and Inês de Castro, probably the most known love story of this country.

Word goes that the King actually unburied Inês’ body, sat her on the throne and made the court kiss her hand as Queen of Portugal.

Now obviously that the hypotesis of such tetric moment being real had to be explored by me, yours truly since I’m a lover of everything creepy and eerie.

More about Inês de Castro here)

Matty Healy, emo lord and king of dirt. I also sometimes sing for this really terrible pop band you probably heard of once or twice. I’m married to Drake so if someone would like to tell him, that would be brilliant. He’ll probably say absurd things like “I’m not married” or “Who the fuck is Matty” but don’t mind it he’s not all there in the head. Anyway, that’s all about me and if you’d fancy a chat go ahead and message me @ trumanblac

A quick look at Elder Scrolls villains

Mannimarco, King of Worms: A huge loser. Worst thing to be king of. 0/1 Amulet of Kings

Molag Bal, Daedric Prince of Domination: Kind of an idiot. Literally everyone hates him. 0/1 Muatra

Jagar Tharn, Imperial Battlemage: Oh hey it’s melty-face guy! Was apparently a Bosmer? Huh. 0/1 Face

Numidium, The Dwemer but a robot: This counts right? Stomped Tamriel, but also didn’t. 9/0 Squished countries

Gortworg, was apparently in Daggerfall: I couldn’t find anything about this guy beyond a list of Daggerfall’s endings. I need to buy this game. 0/0 Pictures on Google Images

Mannimarco, again: Still king over dirt squiggles. Still a loser. 0/10 Respect from me

Bay Kings, Kings of the Bay: Where do I buy Daggerfall? I’m super confused. 1/1 Bay

Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur: Lives in a volcano. Cool voice. Monologues. 0/1 Heart (Though he was totally right to want to kick the Empire out of Morrowind, the Empire is a dumpster fire and Tiber Septim can kiss my ass)

That one Dark Brotherhood Assassin: Started a quest too early. 10/10 Because I really like the armor

Almalexia, Mother Morrowind: She killed Sotha Sil. And now she’s gonna kill me. OH MY GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD. 3/2 Pauldrons

Werewolves: I don’t think Bloodmoon had a villain. It was just Hircine effing around. Then again I haven’t played it in a while. 1/1 Moons

Mankar Camoran, Co-Vice Head Cheer Captain of the Mythic Dawn: Quick question, why would you trust Mehrunes Dagon to make the world all pretty and cool and shit when his realm looks like a Dollar Store knockoff of Hell? You don’t question the lack of spikes and lava in Paradise? Dumbass. 0/1 Brain

Mehrunes Dagon, Daedric Prince of Revolution: Tall. Passionate. Likes long walks on the beach. Good at hugging. 4/2 arms

Mannimarco, needs a better hobby: Why do people keep resurrecting you when you haven’t won, ever? Loser. 0/10,000,000 Potential wins

Alduin, The World Eater: Is kind of Akatosh. Big appetite. I wish I could’ve taken him on without the band of douchebags though. 3/3 Unecessary Companions, especially that one with the annoying voice

Harkon, Lord of Castle Volkihar: Bad at thinking things through. A humanitarian at heart… Get it, cause he eats people? 1/1 Bad jokes

Miraak, The OTHER Last Dragonborn: To be fair, I would’ve wanted to escape Uncle Mora’s Tentacle Fun-Time Library too. 1/1 Understandable Motivation

Hermaeus Mora, Daedric Prince of Knowledge: I am counting him here because I hate him. You know why? He mistreated all of his books! Surely the God of KNOWLEDGE would know what all that moisture does to paper. Seriously, 90% of the books in Apocrypha are ruined! Shameful. And don’t give me any of this: “He’s a daedra so the books are protected by magic”, nonsense. No. Have you looked in Apocrypha? They’re blackened and slimy and there are pages lying everywhere. In complete disarray. Oh, another thing… figure out how to archive your shit Mora, I shouldn’t be finding a history book next to yet another copy of ‘Immortal Blood’. Tentacles are not proper shelving. -10,000/0 He personally offends me

Mannimarco, who is still here in spirit: Still a loser. 0/4 good ratings

What your favorite hero says about you (updated)
  • Abaddon: You like to argue about what does and does not create a carry, and also enjoy diving towers without suffering any consequences.
  • Alchemist: You enjoy making money but you're probably not efficient enough to play this hero.
  • Ancient Apparition: You like making ice puns in all chat.
  • Anti-Mage: You want to be the carry and the other team picked a couple int supports.
  • Arc Warden: You want to fuck Mysterio (of Spider-Man fame).
  • Axe: You hate fun and also the meta.
  • Bane: You love fun and also brains.
  • Batrider: You're stuck in 2012 but nobody in 1k seems to notice.
  • Beastmaster: [bounty rune voice clip]
  • Bloodseeker: You're a bastard.
  • Bounty Hunter: You have a Pavlovian response to the word "dust".
  • Brewmaster: You like beer and don't mind some micro every now and again.
  • Bristleback: You're disgusting.
  • Broodmother: You're either a horrible arachnapologist or you like to have fun.
  • Centaur Warrunner: Fucking bronies
  • Chaos Knight: You're probably into warhammer.
  • Chen: You hate having fun.
  • Clinkz: spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine
  • Clockwerk: You love the concept of a Hell in the Cell match.
  • Crystal Maiden: You like to run slow and die fast.
  • Dark Seer: You read an excerpt from The Art of War once, maybe.
  • Dazzle: You know what's up.
  • Death Prophet: You enjoy New Orleans and ghosts.
  • Disruptor: You are a filthy dinosaur fetishist.
  • Doom: You're a sad vore fetishist.
  • Dragon Knight: DK? Really? I bet you main Link in Smash, too.
  • Drow Ranger: You want to be a carry and you can't play any other ones.
  • Earth Spirit: fuck off
  • Earthshaker: You enjoy shaking and/or quaking it.
  • Elder Titan: Does anyone actually play this guy?
  • Ember Spirit: You like the idea of juggernaut but you feel like he needs more battlefuries.
  • Enchantress: You like those old disney movies where the princesses communed with animals, but you feel like they need a dash of murderous intent.
  • Enigma: ???
  • ??
  • ?????
  • Faceless Void: You miss 2013. Whoops, nevermind, you miss last patch.
  • Gyrocopter: You feel like Eisenhower had some good ideas.
  • Huskar: You love fun and hate everyone.
  • Invoker: You love Icefrog quite suddenly.
  • Io: You love communication and hate pubs.
  • Jakiro: You've purchased no fewer than 4 bad dragon toys.
  • Juggernaut: You like the concepts behind Ember Spirit but you wish he was worse and easier to play.
  • Keeper of the Light: You ask for a senior discount every time you enter the side shop and then forget why you went there in the first place.
  • Kunkka: You want to fuck a boat, sexually.
  • Legion Commander: You want to crush the enemy team with your increasingly powerful thighs.
  • Leshrac: You're a bastard.
  • Lich: You're living the support lyfe and loving it.
  • Lifestealer: Unbirthing fetishist.
  • Lina: You hate fun.
  • Lion: You hate fun.
  • Lone Druid: You're honestly just kind of confused right now.
  • Luna: You have a 45% win rate.
  • Lycan: You watched that "Wolves Need No Armor" video.
  • Magnus: You hate mana and try to have as little as possible.
  • Medusa: You hate fun and refuse to have any.
  • Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
  • Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
  • Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
  • Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
  • Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
  • Mirana: Rethink your life choices.
  • Morphling: You're bad at morphling but you don't realize it.
  • Naga Siren: You have bad taste in heroes.
  • Nature's Prophet: You love money and pushing.
  • Necrophos: You're a bastard.
  • Night Stalker: You spend a lot of time thinking about 2012.
  • Nyx Assassin: NYXXX NYXNYXNYXNYXNXYNXNYX
  • Ogre Magi: You imitate the voice(s) of whatever hero you're currently playing.
  • Omniknight: You really, really miss Warcraft DOTA.
  • Oracle: You just cry a lot these days. We're all worried about you...
  • Outworld Devourer: You were just biding your time. NOW THEY WILL SEE. YOU WILL MAKE THEM SEE.
  • Phantom Assassin: You're horrible at carrying, but you still want to try to carry, but you want to use a bad hero to do it.
  • Phantom Lancer: You have a few body doubles in real life, just in case.
  • Phoenix: CAAAAAAW
  • Puck: You insist Puck is "cute".
  • Pudge: Reading this post is making you hungry.
  • Pugna: You are passionate about skeletons and The Succ™.
  • Queen of Pain: You insist "mid" is a role just like carry or support.
  • Razor: "Stop hitting yourself" is your favorite game.
  • Riki: Your hobbies include squatting and drinking copious amounts of vodka.
  • Rubick: You have no personality, you just regurgitate what everyone around you is saying.
  • Sand King: You eat dirt.
  • Shadow Demon: You like shadows and poison.
  • Shadow Fiend: You like shadows and mid.
  • Shadow Shaman: You like shadows and pushing.
  • Silencer:
  • Skywrath Mage: You're a bird.
  • Slardar: You like the way centaur's blink-stun works but you feel like his natural survivability makes the game too easy.
  • Slark: You hate the enemy team and you will do everything in your power to ruin their lives. Also, you like to run away a lot.
  • Sniper: HO HO, HA HA
  • Spectre: You can play most carries effectively but you like a challenge. Or maybe just hour long games. It's unclear.
  • Spirit Breaker: You're a cow, and you're PISSED.
  • Storm Spirit: You don't like fun as a concept.
  • Sven: You're considering starting an IRL sword collection to complement your 73 Sven swords.
  • Techies: You don't even give a shit about patch notes.
  • Templar Assassin: Fuck fun and fuck everyone who's ever had it.
  • Terrorblade: You're no longer in denial but you're probably still bad at TB.
  • Tidehunter: You love initiating and splashing in bathwater.
  • Timbersaw: You love mobile heroes and hate trees.
  • Tinker: You just sort of hate everything, all the time. Except you, pushing-kun....
  • Tiny: Your buddy picks techies a lot and throwing him into someone is TOTALLY hilarious.
  • Treant Protector: You're either a great team player or you think rushing aghs and farming both jungles every minute or so is hilarious.
  • Troll Warlord: You like to have fun but not too much at once.
  • Tusk: You consider TI5 the greatest thing to ever happen to you.
  • Undying: You like snowballing heroes but fear smart players.
  • Ursa: Furry
  • Vengeful Spirit: I don't think this is anyone's favorite hero.
  • Venomancer: You like to reminisce about being a banana slug.
  • Viper: You're not good at dota and now you can't do anything about it.
  • Visage: You like bursts of micro and weird birds.
  • Warlock: You're a good player.
  • Weaver: You love bugs and hate being squished.
  • Windrunner: You have a panic attack every time patch notes are released these days.
  • Winter Wyvern: See Jakiro.
  • Witch Doctor: Glimmer Cape's introduction was a life-changing experience for you.
  • Wraith King: You're STILL bitter about the name change.
  • Zeus: ZEUS ULT
3


The Doe Eyed Warden SHION “Spade”

*CITY ELF ORIGIN SPOILERS*

A City-Elf who’s fiancé was killed attempting to rescue her and her fellow elf-ladies from attempted rape by Arl Douchebag, Shion is surprisingly kind. Living by the rule “give as good as you get”, she’s nice to nice people and and dick to dick people. She doesn’t take rewards (she’s learned in the Alienage to get by comfortably without) and she searches for the solutions that leaves the most people alive (seriously, why is mass genocide such a reoccuring option?!). Her triggers are sexism and racism and don’t let the fact that she looks like a 13 year old baby doll fool you, she’ll impale your face with both daggers if you try to fuck her or her pack over. Unfortunately her persuasion skills aren’t ALWAYS on point (she blames her unintimidating face) so she mostly has to rely on intimidation backed up by Mr. and Mrs. Blade. She is aware that most people are just doing their jobs so she shows abundant mercy. Her sweet face is a fair give away of her personality 89% of the time, but trigger her rage at your own peril.

Accomplishments: 
-Saved Conner AND his no good boyfriend hating weird ass pretty mother
-Saved Irving and DIDN’T have to nuke the tower you trigger happy fucks
-Broke the werewolf curse and YES I let them live get over it you angry Dalish weirdos!
-Yeah I got the dead prophet lady’s ashes and NO I didn’t poison them and DAMMIT SHIANNI STOP HAUNTING ME YOU’RE NOT EVEN DEAD! (Seriously, why wasn’t it Nelaros?)
-Established Harrowmont as the new Dwarven King (because clearly the elf from an alienage who’s only interaction with politics was cutting off the Arl’s dick is the right person to choose the new king of underground dirt farmers)
-Fought against the Gollems (mostly for Oghie’s sake) but then convinced Branka to destroy the anvil…and herself. Quite the sensible lady ya got there Og. 
-Gave herself and her boyfriend up to be taken to Fort Draken. Take her advice. Don’t make a plan that rely’s on Alistair’s acting skills.
-Made Anora Queen…but not before cutting off her father’s head. HE HAD IT COMING!!!
-Went through with Morrigan’s plan. And had to watch. Ew. But hey a lifetime together as Grey Wardens!…right? right?!?

“I’m not going to blindly kill anyone so TALK IT OUT!!!”

BONUS: Shion is my favorite Warden and so I’ve already made her and Alistair’s baby Rosalia <3 and I draw her a lot