king without his crown

{what is a king without his crown?}
a boy awake at three o'clock in the morning, shoulders heavy with demons that aren’t his own. the world in the palms of his hands. not really living, trying hard to exist instead.

{what is a king without his throne?}
a boy sitting in the front seat of his car or in the first row in the classroom or on the edge of his bed. trying to imagine a world where people don’t fall apart as easily. trying to think of how to put them back together when they do.

{what is a king without his kingdom?}
a boy sharing secrets with the night, with the empty telephone line, with the wasp buzzing on the other side of the window’s glass. his voice, a million years older than him. stealing memories from a life he does not think he deserves to live.

—  that’s all there is | the gansey’s had always been royalty 
-The Wisdom Of Emond's Field-

by  Allen Joshua Arnold‎

As I recall, I saw her first
Descend a flight of stairs.
I felt her gaze, a blaze of life
Engulf mine in a glare.
The fury in her eyes shone bright
With a light no dark could yield.
That’s the day I fell in love
With The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field.

Bound and sworn, a hound of sorts,
My sword pledged to another.
In my chest, a chiseled stone
Was honed to know no lover.
Yet as I watched her walk away,
I felt my layers peeled.
That’s the day I pledged my heart
To The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field.

Far from home, I roam this land,
A king without his crown;
To hunt the shadows haunting me,
And strike Sight Blinder down.
My kingdom lays in ruins,
But it’s she I can still shield.
That’s the day I laid my crown
Before The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field

On the day she went away,
She wore, dangling from a string,
Around her neck, close to her heart
My family’s signet ring.
Mashiara, keep it near,
And know our love is sealed.
That’s the day I swore my life
To The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field.

Every night, I watched the sky,
And held her in my heart.
No moon that passed before my eyes
Could pull our love apart.
For in my chest now burns the flame
Of a passion she revealed.
That’s the day I vowed return
To The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field.

On the day I found my way
Back to my lover’s side,
I found her body in a lake;
She barely clung to life.
I pulled her from the water’s grasp,
And saw that she was healed.
That’s the day I said my vows,
To The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field.

Mashiara, love of mine,
I have no lands to give.
So, my heart, I hand to you,
For as long as I might live.
You found, deep down, a part of me,
I thought remained concealed.
That’s the day I crowned my queen,
The Wisdom Of Emond’s Field.

1. here is a king without his crown;
scared of the day he will lay in the ground
2. here is a king without his throne;
though he knows he shouldn’t, he goes alone
3. here is a king without his queen;
all by himself in a forest ruled by bees
—  this was the year he was going to die / he knew he knew he knew
King Without A Crown
Matisyahu

“King Without a Crown” - Matisyahu

You’re all that I have and you’re all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I’m so hungry
You’re like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there’s no me
You’re the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can’t see

I LOVE this song.  I can’t help but listen to it and think about Jesus.  This song contains Matisyahu’s testimony and how he “became religious”, but it also shows the Jewish desire for the Messiah.  I know we have our Messiah.  He came as a King, but he never had a crown.  We celebrate our Messiah’s coming always, but it’s especially appropriate to celebrate that fact now since this is week leading up to Easter.

There are a ton of recordings of this song online, so I’m sure I could have spent a ton of time trying to find the PERFECT one.  This is a real good quality recording, though.

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Give yourself up and then you become whole
You’re a slave to yourself and you don’t even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you’re trying to stay high, then you’re bound to stay low
You want God but you can’t deflate your ego
If you’re already there, then there’s nowhere to go
If you’re cup’s already full, then it’s bound to overflow
—  –Matisyahu