king survey

First Day (M)

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Genre: Smut, Smut, and more Smut

A/N: I did it a little dirty this time, I was in my feelings. I’m sorry I apologize…kinda. Not really, now that I think about it.

-Admin Moon

Read the first one: First Class


My new boss, Namjoon, told me to dress appropriately. Considering I wasn’t even sure what my new job was, it was difficult to know if I would pass his scrutiny. My black pencil skirt fitted nicely, my white blouse was neatly tucked into the waistband. So I hoped I was dressed appropriately. The building of Kim International was as impressive as the man himself, it stood tall and strong in the middle of Buckhead. My heels clicked on the shiny floor as I stepped out of the elevator on level twenty-three. My stomach was a bundle of nerves as I approached the perky young receptionist. “May I help you?” she asked, flashing me a perfect white smile. I had to swallow down the bile rising in my throat. “I’m here to see Namjoon Kim. Today is my first day working here…”

She nodded and gave me a knowing look as she pressed a button on her headset and passed on the announcement of my arrival. With nod her attention returned to me, “Mr. Kim will see you straight away. Please, go on through. And good luck.” Good luck? Did I need luck to get through my first day? Miss Perky gestured to a closed door. Now was my last chance to turn around and run the hell away from there

…But I needed the job and my last encounter with the billionaire had been pleasant, to say the least. I went through the door and took in Namjoon’s office. It was massive, full of classic black furniture and top-to-floor glass windows. I could see the entire city landscape from my position. The chair at the desk swiveled around to reveal Kim Namjoon, still wore the same satisfied smirk he had on the flight from Los Angeles. Amusement sparkled behind his brown eyes. “Ah, Y/N, I’m so glad to see you. Take a seat.”

He stood and buttoned his black suit jacket before standing in front of the window. He looked like a king surveying his kingdom. He probably owned half the city. I sat in the seat he indicated and waited nervously. “Thank you for the opportunity.”

“Sir. I’d like you to call me sir.” It had been less than a minute and he was already ordering me around. I shouldn’t like it as much as I did, but I knew from experience that it was difficult to say no to the man. “Yes, sir,” I replied sweetly. “Good. I’m sure you’re curious about what your job here will entail?” Now that was an understatement. “I certainly am, sir.” The rays from the outside caught Namjoon’s eyes, emphasizing his deep irises. They truly were mesmerizing. Namjoon slid his hands into his pockets, his stance more powerful than ever. An unexpected shiver ran down my spine. I could not wait to see what the position of Director of Office Satisfaction actually entailed.

“Follow me,” he ordered. I stood and trailed after him. We exited his office and he led me down a long corridor. Offices on both sides lined the way, people busy working away everywhere I looked. I wasn’t entirely sure what his empire actually did, but it appeared to be important. Finally we ended up in a small cupboard of a room. Aisles of boxes were packed in tighter than the subway at rush hour. Namjoon gestured to the room at large. “I need you to place the documents inside these boxes in alphabetical order. Once organized, they will need to be scanned into our electronic system. I’m afraid we weren’t so paperless a few years ago so we’ve lagged behind.”

…He wanted me to sort paper? “Are you serious?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. “I am always serious, Y/N.”

“I have a Marketing degree. Surely I can do more than shuffle paper.”

“This is an entry level position,” Namjoon stated. “It is what I would expect from any junior employee. Unless…” I was hanging off his every word. I desperately needed to know where he was going with his unless. “Yes, sir?”

“Unless you wish to take on a more… personal role?”

“I’m listening.”

“It would involve late nights and a very demanding boss.” His eyes were sparkling again and it made my stomach do all kinds of flips. I wasn’t entirely sure what he was suggesting but I was up for it. Whatever he wanted me to do, I would do it. As long as it wasn’t shuffling paper. I didn’t go to college for that shit. “I can handle it,” I assured him. “Very well, then.” He hit the light switch and stepped out of the room. “Take the lift up to the penthouse. You will need this key.” He dropped a key from his pocket into my hand. “Wait there and get yourself comfortable. I will be up when I can.”

And just like that, he was gone again. Namjoon liked making swift exits, which was pretty much the only thing I knew for sure about him. Finding the elevator again was a challenge but I made it eventually. I followed his directions up to the penthouse level. When the lift doors swished open, I was standing in the middle of an apartment. As I walked through the place, taking it all in, I couldn’t help but notice the exquisite detail. Either Namjoon had exceptional interior decorating skills that were lost in his CEO position, or he had an amazing designer. My money would be on the latter.

I ended up in the bedroom, one of the largest rooms in the penthouse. The massive bed stood on the far wall, neatly made with velvet red sheets. My only sexual encounter with Namjoon was in an airplane restroom, I wondered what he would be like in an actual bed? Probably outstanding… Returning to the living room, I remembered my order to make myself at home. Did that mean watching some television? Would I still be paid for lounging around in his private apartment? In the end I decided a drink was in order. Namjoon had a fully stocked bar so I snuck some soju and downed it quickly. The burn blazed a trail down to my stomach.

I got the feeling I was going to need some liquid courage. The elevator pinged, giving me a heart attack as I all but jumped out of my skin. My eyes were glued to the doors as they slid open and Namjoon stepped out. He was breathtaking in his navy suit. He was tall and moved with elegance. His confident stride said he was never unsure about anything. “What do you think?” he asked as he reached me. “It’s very nice.”

“Did you see the bedroom?” My face reddened. Was I supposed to have been snooping? “I had a quick look…”

“I’ve been imagining you sprawled over the bed completely naked since I last saw you.” His gaze pinned me in place, seeing right through any facade I might have been trying to put on. I had to swallow just so I could speak again. “You… you have?”

“You’re an extremely beautiful woman. And there are many things I want to do to you.”

“So you hired me to alphabetize paper?” Namjoon laughed, breaking the sexual tension growing between us. “I was hoping you’d reconsider your career path. I know you’re an extremely intelligent woman, I promise you will be rewarded for your… contribution. While I’m in the city, we can play. When I’m gone, if you want to, you can learn all aspects of running this company.” So he was offering me more than sex.

I have to say, that was the best offer I’d had since graduating. It was also the only one that made me wet. “Your offer is accepted,” I said formally. It felt deliciously wicked speaking of something so naughty like it was a business transaction. Namjoon started closing the gap between us. “Good,” he muttered about a second before pressing his lips onto mine. He pulled me against him as he owned my mouth. My lips opened, letting his tongue in to make sure I gave him complete ownership. By the time he let me go I was breathless and my pussy was wet. If he was even half as good in bed as he was on the airplane, I was going to be in for a real treat. “Go to the bedroom and take off all your clothes, Y/N,” Namjoon instructed. If any of my previous boyfriends had spoken to me like this, I would have slapped some sense into them. But when Namjoon did it, I was ready to do anything he wanted me to do.

He slapped me on the ass as I stepped around him. The sharp sting sent a shudder through me, I hoped there was more of that to follow. It took all my self control not to run to the bedroom. I wanted to rip my clothes off so Namjoon could put his lips and hands all over my skin. I ran the last few steps. My blouse was the first item of clothing to go. I undid the buttons and pulled it off. Next was my skirt, I unzipped it and placed it on a chair. I disposed of my panties last, creating a neat pile of clothes. Completely nude, all I needed was the sexy man and we could get the show on the road.

There were no sounds coming from the apartment so I stood in the middle of the room and waited. Instead of feeling awkward, my pussy was throbbing and begging to be touched. If he didn’t hurry, I was going to start without him. Finally, footsteps padded my way and Namjoon filled the doorway. “Lie on the bed.” I practically hopped on the sheets before lying down. My head rested on the soft pillows so I could still see him watching my every move. He took in a step into the room and pointed to an area over the chest of drawers. “There is a camera here. It is hooked up to my personal surveillance system. Only I can access the feed. I want you to know sometimes I will want to watch you, even if I’m out of town.”

“You want me to stay here?” I asked, slightly confused. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be filmed doing anything, but if Namjoon was the one watching… the thought drove me wild. “You can stay if you like. But what I meant was that I’d like to watch you touching yourself. At times, I’d like you to put on a show for me.” Oh. “I’ve never done that in front of anyone before,” I admitted. “But you do touch yourself.” Never in a million years would I have thought I would be having this conversation with someone. Let alone my boss. “I… take care of business, sometimes. Between boyfriends.”

“Do you use toys?”

“Excuse me?”

“Toys. Vibrators, eggs, or just your fingers?”

“…fingers.” The conversation would have seemed completely inappropriate if I wasn’t naked on his bed. “I’ll get you some toys and you can experiment. You will only be permitted to use them when I am watching. Is that clear?” He stood at the end of the bed, staring down at me. I really wished he was just as nude as me. “Yes, sir.”

“There are more rules we need to go over but they can wait. For now, all I can think about is fucking you hard.”

“Yes, sir.” He pulled at his tie until it loosened and he threw it on the floor. He took his time undressing himself while I itched to help him. I didn’t dare move, it was probably against one of his unspoken rules. Watching him slowly get naked was like watching porn. With each piece of fabric he removed it revealed a hard body that was made for pleasure. He had to work out every day; that kind of body did not happen by accident. His tan skin was perfect, completely unblemished except for a scar that cut through his chest over his heart. I wondered what it was from. He was far too young for heart problems.

He asked as he pulled off his boxers, his penis was just as robust as I remembered it. He crawled on the bed as my body throbbed with anticipation. “You’re so gorgeous, princess.” His hands started on my legs, rubbing them slowly in circles as he made his way up my body. He somehow managed to find every erogenous zone that ever existed on my skin. His gaze moved over my body, making me feel sexier than I ever had before. He revered my skin, touching me like I was a goddess and he was worshipping me. I could take that kind of treatment forever and never tire of it.

Namjoon kissed up my thighs, spreading my legs wide while I was giddy with the thought of what was to come. I wanted him in the sweet spot but didn’t dare to hope he would go down on me. My legs shook with pleasure as he held on to me tightly. His mouth was getting so close to my pussy I could feel his hot breath on my wetness. He was driving me crazy, I was all but ready to beg for him to touch me there. “Y/N,” he moaned. “Your pussy is divine. I’m going to spend hours tasting you, fucking you, and making you scream.”

“Yes,” I managed to stammer. If that’s what he wanted… who was I to argue? His lips grazed my clit lightly, teasing me with a promise of what he was about to do. My hips tried to buck up and demand more but his strong hands held me down. He was the expert of the slow tease. Finally, finally his mouth closed around my clit. I instantly shivered with pleasure. His tongue slid along my pussy, stroking it with long and beautiful movements. He switched it up by sucking on my clit, pulling it so hard into his mouth I almost climaxed with every tug. His hands slid around to cup my ass cheeks. He used his new position to lever me upwards and reposition my hips so I was closer to his face.

Utilizing his new advantage, his tongue slid down my pussy then his tongue fucked me hard. He alternated plunging into me with long strokes along my clit. A fire was kindling in my belly and it wouldn’t be long before it was a full-on blaze. “Come for me, Y/N,” he whispered before putting his mouth back on my pussy. “I want to feel your pussy pulsing around my tongue. Do it,” He plunged back in with purpose, making it clear that I was going to follow his order and he would have no arguments. The orgasm took me hostage as I was lost in the joy singing through me. Every part of my being radiated out from his mouth as he sucked on my most intimate area. Tingles that I never thought possible washed through me like fireworks in the sky.

I never wanted the feeling to stop. Namjoon drew out my orgasm to unreasonable lengths. I came apart under his expert touch and there was nothing I could do about it. He was the one in charge and I was enraptured to give it to him. His mouth left my pussy with a pop, before he smacked his lips together. “You taste like sweet peaches.”

My breathing was still ragged as I fought for some semblance of composure. “Thank you.” He chuckled as he kissed up my belly. “You. Are. So. Fucking. Sexy. Princess.” He bit out as he reached my breast and popped a hard nipple in his mouth. I moaned as he toyed with my nipple between his fingers while his tongue copied the motion on the other breast. His hard erection rested on my belly. He gave my nipple a quick bite before letting it fall from his mouth. “You’re going to ride me, sexy. I’m going to put my cock inside your pussy and you’re going to squeeze me until I pop. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I want to see these tits bounce.”

“Yes, sir.” His body covered mine as he flipped me around so I was on top of him. I had to scramble to get up, remembering my orders. I was looking forward to being on top, being able to bring him as much pleasure as he did me. My hands walked down his beautiful chest until I was sitting on him. His cock pressed into my clit, giving me an idea. I started sliding along his length, rubbing him over me. Little bursts of intense lightning shot out as his hardness stroked my burning lips. Namjoon closed his eyes, lost in the sensation. If I kept going, we were both going to come. I didn’t want that yet, he had to be inside… for both of us.

I forced myself to stop and Namjoon’s eyes opened once again to sear into me. “You feel so good, princess.”

“So do you, sir.” He smirked, knowing full well just how good he felt. I grabbed his cock and positioned him. I took him in slowly, moving up and down slightly so I could draw out his entrance. His cock was just as delicious as it was on the airplane. I grind on him, drawing imaginary circles with my hips so we moved around. Namjoon gripped my hips while never taking his eyes off me. His gaze roamed across my naked skin, making me feel as beautiful as ever. I loved the contrast of our skin as we moved together. “Work for me,” he ordered. The time for going slow was over. I started pounding on him, our skin slapped together. His cock pulsed in and out of me as we moved like animals.

I leaned forward, not only so Namjoon could see my breast better but so I could pull his cock over my clit. Every time I released him, my essence caused his slippery shaft to rub between my lips. I let him out just enough before slamming him back inside me again. Namjoon let out a deep groan from his throat, “Make me come, princess. Now.” I tried to disobey him, wanting to draw our sex session out longer. I loved the feel of him inside, the way he set my skin on fire. I wanted the feeling to never end. But in the end he got his way. The orgasm made me scream before I even realized what was happening.

Namjoon helped my hips continue their bucking until he lost control too. We fell into the blissful abyss and let the waves of desire crash through our bodies. His cock throbbed and exploded in me, hitting all my nerve endings and letting them revel in the fullness. “Namjoon,” I panted through the joy. I needed him to know how grateful I was for this kind of feeling. It was a beautiful moment, connecting us as if we were one. We may have been little more than strangers but actions said much more than words. Our bodies recognized each other like we were always supposed to be like this. Like we were made for this.

My toes curled with the incredible lightning bolts shooting through me. From head to toe, I was nothing but sheer lust and need. My pussy throbbed with the release, convulsing around Namjoon’s cock and making sure it was clear how heightened my pleasure was. The moment continued on like it might never end. I couldn’t imagine a time when I was out of Namjoon’s bed and couldn’t fathom a reason why I would want to be. I’d never felt this way before. Namjoon sat up and pulled me into his arms as the last aftershocks sent a rush of goosebumps over my skin. He rocked me in his lap, whispering in my ear. “We’re going to do that repeatedly. Understand?”

I nodded because I couldn’t find any words to reply. He had stolen all the air out of my lungs, leaving me breathless and shaky. Intense didn’t even begin to describe that orgasm. Namjoon held me like that for a very long time. So long his cock went soft inside me. I still kept him there, greedy to keep the connection to the man. Eventually, we pulled back from one another. But only so far so we could see each other’s face. He looked down between us where we were connected. “You’re so gorgeous,” he started. “I love having my cock inside your pussy. You’re so tight and wet.”

“You make me this way,” I replied. “You’re going to be wet a lot.”

“I hope so.” I leaned over and kissed him, our lips pressed against each other with wonderful pressure. It seemed silly being so chaste after what we’d just done but it felt right at the same time. “Do you want to know what I’m going to do to you, princess?” The teasing twinkle was back in his eyes. I couldn’t wait to hear what he had in store for me. This was the best job I’d ever had. There’s no way I can explain my feelings for Namjoon, I don’t understand them. “What are you going to do?” I asked coyly. Talking so openly about sex was still new to me. I got the feeling Namjoon was going to be teaching me a lot of things in the near future.

“I’m going to tie you up every which way, for a start. Then I’m going to spank you every time you break a rule. These hard nipples are going to be clamped. Sometimes I’m going to watch you fuck a dildo until you’re primed and ready for me.”

“That’s all?” I asked. He scuffed as a reply, “For the first week, yes.” My stomach flipped with butterflies. I was definitely in good hands with my demanding boss. If he wanted to restrain, spank, and fuck me… I was going to be walking around with a permanent smile etched on my face. “Do you trust me, Y/N?” Namjoon asked, more serious than before. I thought about his question. I’d only known him for a few days. This was the second time I had ever seen him. Did I know enough about the man to trust him? My heart knew the answer: yes. “Yes, I do,” I said with no hint of doubt in my voice.

“Good. I’m going to take care of you. I’ll never leave you without being satisfied unless it’s part of a punishment. We should go over the rules.” The rules. I’d forgotten about them. I nodded for him to continue. “You will be on call twenty-four hours a day, every day. You may stay here or you can keep your own apartment,” he started, like he had a mental list he was reeling off. “You will never say no to me, however you may choose a safe word for our play. If you say the safe word, I will stop. I hope you will never have to use it but it’s important for you to know you can.”

“Yes, sir.” Safe word? I should have been nervous about what that could mean for our future activities but I wasn’t. Instead, the thought made me wet all over again. I wanted Namjoon to fuck me to my limits and forge all new boundaries for me. “You will never question my instructions. You will never discuss our arrangement with anyone. You will obey and be submissive at all times.” He paused. I wasn’t sure if that meant he had covered all his rules or he was waiting for it all to sink in. He obviously didn’t know how impatient I was. “That’s everything, sir?”

“That’s enough, for now.”

“Can I ask you a question?” I waited until he nodded. “Are you a dom? Is that what this is? You’re a dom and you want me to be your submissive? You’re into BDSM?”

“I prefer not to place tags on things,” he replied curtly. “But I suppose if you must, then yes. I like to be in control of all aspects of my life and the bedroom is no exception.” As he talked, his cock started to stiffen inside me again. One thing was clear, he liked his rules. The thought of dominating me and my complete obedience to his orders turned him on. Just talking about it was enough to get him hard. And me, wet. “Those rules are acceptable,” I said.

“Good. Now give me a hand job.” He laughed at my bemused expression. “You made me hard, it’s only fair you rectify the situation so I can get back to work. This is an order, Y/N.”

“Of course.” I slid off Namjoon’s lap as he released his hold on me and his cock pulled out of my pussy. With one hand I cupped his balls, using my fingers to massage them and keep up constant pressure. With my other hand, I gripped his cock and gave it a squeeze. His sharp intake of breath was enough for me to know he enjoyed my touch. He was sopping wet from my essence, making it easy for my hand to slide up and down his cock.

The thick was inviting, way too tempting for me to resist. I popped it in my mouth, giving a long suck and enjoying him between my lips. Thwack. A sharp sting warmed my ass. I almost bit down on his cock with the surprise. Namjoon had spanked me. I quickly pulled back. “I said hand job, Y/N,” he warned. “You’re going to have to earn sucking me off. Hands only for now.” “Yes, sir.” I’m not sure if it was the spanking or the brief taste of his cock but something was making my pussy throb with need. I continued on using only my hands. His cock grew thicker under my touch as he ebbed closer to getting off. I increased my speed, impressed with his size and ability to hold on. Our gaze connected just before he let go. His cock twitched and throbbed as he came. His cum shot from his cock and went all over my breast as I positioned myself closer.

He didn’t order me to take his load but I think he appreciated it anyway. “Do you like seeing yourself all over me?” I grinned.

“I do. You performed exceptionally well.” He let me go and stood up, leaving me on the bed alone as he started gathering his clothes. Disappearing into the adjoining bathroom, he called out to me while cleaning himself up. “I will have lunch delivered up to you here. Once you’ve eaten I want you to stay naked and on the bed. You can watch television or choose a book from the library. You may leave at five.”

“Are you going to watch me on the camera?” I asked. “I have a few meetings but I will check in on you several times.”

“Do you want me to touch myself?” I still wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that. All my inhibitions were on vacation and I hoped they stayed that way. Namjoon made me feel safe and open about everything. “No. You are forbidden from touching yourself today.” “So I just laze around naked?”

“Yes.” I could do that. “Can I take a shower?”

“No. I want you to stay dirty for me, princess.”

“Yes, sir.” He emerged from the bathroom looking impeccable, as usual. “Good work, Y/N. I hope you are enjoying your first day.” He kissed my forehead and left the room. I closed my eyes as I laid back on the bed, sated and satisfied.

Underfell!Grillby x Reader Fanfic

A short piece based on @ask-grillby‘s wonderful Underfell!Grillby concept and design. Please go check out the mun’s work!! This piece is safe for work, no warnings apply, but prepare to be flustered.


Admittedly, your first impression of of the violet flame monster had been pretty favourable.

The first glimpse you’d gotten of the mysterious owner of the Undergrounds most exclusive bar had been of a tall, extremely well dressed monster, who was leaning back casually against an expensive black granite counter top. He was glancing around the busy club with a cocky smirk on his face, radiating an aura of power and confidence, the undisputed king of all he surveyed. His free hand was wrapped around an elegant crystal tumbler, filled with some sort of amber liquid which he swirled around in a disinterested manner. You must have been staring, because when his gaze swept the room and he noticed you, a new face in his bar, (because of course he knew all his patrons, knew where all the money came from) he grinned and lifted the glass towards you in a cheeky salute. Once he was sure he’d gotten your attention he made a show of exhaling softly over his drink, a tongue of blue flame snaking out of his mouth and igniting the alcohol in the glass, which he raised to you once again.

You had to admit, you were impressed, and more then a little flustered by this suave monster.

Of course, that perfect first impression was ruined when he sauntered over, opened his mouth…and revealed himself to be a self-centred, narcissistic, power hungry ass.

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anonymous asked:

Could you make a list of all the arcs so far and a quick summary?

Battle for Trost arc: 5 years after the fall of wall Maria, the colossal titan reappears, smashing the outer gate of Trost district. With the help of Eren Jaegers newfound titan powers, the breach is sealed by the military and humanity’s extinction was prevented. 

Female Titan arc: Eren Jaeger is given in the custody of the Survey Corps, which departs on a mission beyond the wall; with the hidden intention of using Eren as bait to lure out an enemy traitor. An intelligent female titan appears, is captured but manages to free herself, leaving the corps defeated and damaged. The people in charge are ordered towards Stohess district, where an operation to identify and capture the female titan is successfully executed.ä

Clash of the titans arc: While the main forces of the Survey Corps discover a conspiracy concerning the walls, a group of titans suddenly appears inside wall Rose, leaving a subsidiary Survey Corps to deal with identification of the threat and evacuation processes. As the main forces of the Survey Corps meet up with the survivors of the other team; the colossal and armored reappear and capture Eren Jaeger. The troops chase after their enemies and successfully rescue Eren at the cost of many lives; and in the midst of battle, Eren demonstrated a new power of unprecedented impact.

Uprising arc: In order to uncover secrets withheld from them, and ensure a stable future for humanity, the Survey Corps plans to overthrow the corrupt monarchy and seize control over the human world; whereas the government is not afraid to use any means necessary to get a hold of Eren for their own, selfish purposes; leaving the Survey Corps to face off against a group of murderous elite military police. Though Eren is captured and almost sacrificed for the plan of the king, the Survey Corps manages to save his life, stop the king who had become a titan, and overthrow the monarchy while staying on the good side of the people, even learning vital secrets about the origins of their world.

Return to Shiganshina arc: The plan to recapture wall Maria, five years in the making, is at last set in motion, with the goal to seal the walls in Shiganshina district, defeating the titan shifting enemies and unlock the secrets hidden in the basement of Grisha Jaeger. The outcome of their confrontation leaves 95% of the Survey Corps dead (including its commander Erwin), yet victory is achieved: the walls are sealed, the armored and beast titans driven off , the colossal titan dead and given to Armin Arlert, and the basement still intact. It reveals the true nature of the titans, how humanity was driven to its corner, and what truly lies beyond the walls, leaving the walled world in an even bleaker and more desperate situation than ever before. 

The Power’s The Be

TITLE: The Powers That Be

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Forty


AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki discovering a hidden mutant when he realises they are at risk of being found by S.H.I.E.L.D. who experiments on mutants, he is the one to help them.

RATING: Teen and Up

“I must have misheard you, what did you just say?” Thor asked.

“It cannot be…why are you looking at me like that boy?” Odin was actually slightly fearful of his usually complacent son’s anger filled features.

“You do not get to dictate such things father, whom we love is not capable of being dictated to any being by any other, and you must accept this. Loki loves her, even when he himself cannot fully comprehend it. She is everything he ever wished for, someone who wants and needs him, not for what he should be, but for who he is, faults and all.” Thor spoke firmly, not raising his voice.

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why is it that there is nearly always someone accusing all my favorite characters of being dudebro neckbeard PUA creeps

Snape? entitled Nice Guy

Kylo Ren? whiny white boy with man tears

hpmor!Harry Potter?

Sheldon Cooper on steroids, an amped-up version of every neckbeard asshole I knew back in high school and college who thought being male and possessing some semblance of intelligence made him fucking king of all he surveyed.

>Sheldon Cooper

>neckbeard

huh I wonder why this mysterious pattern keeps happening

Not sure if being KING OF ALL YOU SURVEY counts as a human job, but this is my cockatiel Boggle in his new home in Canada. We just moved here from the UK (Organising that was… interesting!) and once I was done unpacking I had a lot of cardboard and I saw these flags on cocktail sticks at the dollar store… so now Boggle has his own castle to be King of!

Enneagram 8w9 - Seeking Power and Peace

Healthy Eights with a 9 wing often have an aura of preternatural calm, like they haven’t had a self-doubt in decades. Take their authority for granted - queen or king of all they survey. May be gentle, kind-hearted, quieter. Often nurturing, protective parents; steady, supportive friends. Informal and unpretentious, patient, laconic, generally somewhat introverted. Sometimes a dry or ironic sense of humor. May have an aura of implicit, simmering anger rather like a sleeping volcano. Slow to erupt but when they do it’s sudden and explosive. When entranced, the 9 wing brings an Eight a kind of callous numbness. They can be oblivious to the force of their anger until after they’ve hurt someone. Calmly dominating, colder; may have an indifference to softer emotions. If very unhealthy, they can be mean without remorse or aggressive in the service of stupid ends. Paranoid plotting, muddled thinking, moral laziness. Can be vengeful in ill-conceived ways, abuse those they love, don’t know when to quit.

Survey Corps in... Hoe don’t do it

As you guys might be aware, there has been a meme going around the past few days which basically involves someone almost doing or insinuating something bad, another saying ‘hoe don’t do it’, person A doing the thing, followed by person B going ‘oh my god.’ So how would this meme work with the Survey Corps?

May contain spoilers for the anime

1. Sasha and Mikasa

  Mikasa: Sasha, do you want my bread?

  Sasha: hoe don’t do it

  Mikasa: *eats bread*

  Sasha: oh my god

2. Hanji and Moblit

  Hanji: *sticks head within half a metre of a titan*

  Moblit: hoe don’t do it

  Hanji: *almost gets head bitten off*

  Moblit: oh my god

3. Eren and Petra

  Eren: *raises hand towards mouth with an angsty expression whilst in some kind of life or death situation*

  Petra: hoe don’t do it

  Eren: *turns into a titan*

  Petra: oh my god

4. Fandom and Jean

  Jean: *looks at Eren with slightly tilted head and widened eyes*

  Fandom: hoe don’t do it

  Jean: What is it Eren

  Fandom: oh my god

5. Isayama and Fandom

  Isayama: *gives character depth and points of interest and potential attachment*

  Fandom: hoe don’t do it

  Isayama: *kills character off in some gruesome way*

  Fandom: oh my god

6. Bertholdt and Reiner

  Reiner: Eren, *determined look*

  Bertholdt: hoe don’t do it

  Reiner: We’re the colossal and armored titans.

  Bertholdt: oh my god

7. Survey corps and the king

  King: *exists*

  Survey Corps: hoe don’t do it

  King: *willingly sacrifices 1/3 of what remains of mankind, is controlled like a puppet by advisors, subjects own people to starvation, let’s the whole government go corrupt, almost entirely cut off what might very well be humanity’s best shot at defeating the titans*

  Survey Corps: oh my god

First Lines Meme

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories. see if there are any patterns. then tag your favorite authors.

I was tagged by @iboatedhere and @querulousgawks.  Thank you!!

If we go only by what I’ve posted on AO3 (and not tumblr) and ignore WIPs:

01. halcyon - Jack/Bitty, Check, Please!

Lounging against the pillows where Jack has left him kiss-drunk and breathless, Bittle is beautiful.

02. Unravel Me - Dex/Nursey, Check, Please!

“You like me like this.”

03. Perpetual Motion - Jack/Bitty, Check, Please!

Back against the wall, body turned toward Bittle’s, Jack watches as Bittle unlocks his phone, fingers flying over the screen as he types something Jack can’t quite make out.

04. Good Boy - Jack/Bitty, Check, Please!

As soon as they’re through the door of the apartment, Jack crowds Bitty with his hips and hands and chest, pushing until Bitty feels the door hard against his back, Jack hard against his front.

05. quite new a thing - Jack/Bitty, Check, Please!

Bitty buys them on a whim, a perfect scrap of Falconers’ blue lace that slips beneath his fingers soft as air.

06. Nothing More Than You - Jack/Bitty, Check, Please!

Bitty wakes up alone, the sheets beside him cool.

07. Hold Me Close and Surrender - Jack/Bitty, Check, Please!

Jack is warm against him, chest broad, shoulders strong under Bitty’s hands as they sit on the end of Jack’s bed.

08. muscles better, nerves more - Damen/Laurent, Captive Prince

Damen swallows hard, his heart in his throat as he takes in the view before him, a king surveying his lands.

09. expectation - Dorian/Bull, Dragon Age Inquisition

Dorian stretches back in his seat at the Herald’s Rest, the fingers of one hand wrapped around the opposing wrist above his head, his back arched.

10. Contraband - Dorian/Bull, DAI

Dorian arrives first and lights a fire in the bedroom hearth.

11. Double Play - Dorian/Bull, DAI

The Bull doesn’t look at him when the clubhouse is full, not like this, his eye half-lidded and dark, focused the way he gets on the field, body angled home.

12. on the third day - Dorian/Bull, DAI

The Bull pauses just inside the door to their room as it latches behind him.

13. Bound - Dorian/Bull, DAI

Dorian sits in the corner of the Herald’s Rest, shoulders against the wall.

14. Harbor - Dorian/Bull, DAI

Dorian finds the Bull in the living room in front of one of the bay windows, one of the throw blankets–the dusty rose one, Bull’s favorite—pulled tight around his shoulders.

15. Communion - Dorian/Bull, DAI

The Bull spreads him out before the fire, rugs and furs and blankets laid down to ward off the chill of stone that Dorian complains of even in the warmest southern days.

16. it would be the first time - Dorian/Bull, DAI

As much as he enjoys the sex—and, oh, he enjoys it—Dorian thinks he may like the part before even more.

17. break of day - Dorian/Bull, DAI

The light creeping through the curtains when Dorian wakes up is cool and gray.

18. Touch and Go - Dorian/Bull, DAI

When Dorian Pavus, renowned monstrumologist, had agree to travel across the Waking Sea to speak at a symposium on the supposed existence of the Fallow Mire wendigo, he had done so under duress.

19. like gold to airy thinness beat - Dorian/Bull, DAI

The letter comes like all the rest, delivered by raven to Skyhold.

20. my love is like a powder keg - Dorian/Bull, DAI

Dorian is no blushing naïf.

I’m tagging @catknit7 @jaradel @marswithghosts @homsantoft @junemermaid @justsayins @rhysiana @tiptoe39 and anyone else who wants to do it!  (What I love about about these posts is how easy it is to get a sampling of work in one place.  Who knows what I’ve missed!)