king of my existance

never forget when the king of china snatched everyones wig

I dare any of you to imagine a scenario more cursed than Ronan lynch meeting the twinyards

Headcanoning real people is gross.

You can speculate all you want about historical figures. Fine. But you can’t be like uwu Oscar Wilde is my aroace flower king like? Actually? He didn’t exist for your own greedy consumption. He was his own person with his own struggles related to his love for men.

You prey specifically on men who loved men. Men who had to hide their love lives from the public. Men whose evidence of male-centered sexuality was destroyed or lost to time. And then you say “there’s no evidence he wasn’t aroace uuwuuuwuuuu” like yep! You’re right! We can’t prove anything because straight people have taken our history from us! We are systematically destroyed even in death!

Historians are DESPERATE to explain away affection between men. They’ll say they’re friends. Brothers. Mentors. And you guys come along and do the same thing and act as if we’re denying you your harmless headcanons.

We can’t have anything.

2

Robert Small ~ aka Bad Dad/Knife Dad

(All info is culled directly from in-game references; gif was made by me - if you want to use it in something else, please ask &/or give me credit.  Thanks so much!  <3)

~ Background Canon ~

  • Seems to have little/no respect for people who sleep around and/or put sex before other, more important things
  • Was (possibly) in the Army
  • Has a Boston Terrier named Betsy (likes to pretend she’s a pit bull)
  • Likes to tell elaborate (and sometimes graphic) stories. (Are they true? No one but Robert knows.)
  • Knows how to fake people out (i.e. good poker face?)
  • Sends texts/messages like a teenager
  • Believes hitting a child would be despicable
  • Insists on watching movie credits to the VERY end
  • Has a daughter named Val who lives in Brooklyn; she works for some ‘news media online magazine thing’ and makes a lot of money doing it.
  • He’s unsure of Val’s age, but thinks it’s maybe 25 or 26
  • He refers to Brooklyn as ‘home’ (…so what does that make Maple Bay?)
  • Carries a fully-stocked first aid kit in his truck
  • Has an unconventional sense of humor
  • Has a tendency to say exactly what he means…and then pretend like he didn’t mean it
  • Not the most talkative of people, generally speaking
  • Thinks River has an ‘old soul’
  • His wife’s name was Marilyn; she died in an ‘accident’.
  • He has a ‘long, wicked scar across his pecs’ (supposedly from a bike accident with Val)
  • Has a tattoo on his left hand, shaped a little like a compass rose
  • The mention of cannibalism reminded him of the last time he went skiing. (Just another ‘story’?)
  • Claims his leather jacket has been in his family a long time, and that it’s ‘cursed’
  • Seems to have done a lot of thinking about killing someone.  “It’s not just their life, you know.  It’s their hopes and dreams draining away.  Every memory and experience they’ve ever had…gone.”
  • This guy may not look it, but he’s smart!  Knows who Hemingway is, has heard of capybaras, is a classic film buff, knows random Bible verses by heart…
  • Robert’s hands are calloused and covered in little white scars.
  • Got stabbed in Louisiana…or was it Kentucky…?
  • Isn’t a ‘sore loser’
  • Drives a VERY old red pickup truck.
  • House is filled with sleek, modern appliances; a big flat-screen TV; and shelves upon shelves of DVDs

~ Likes/Dislikes Canon ~

  • Has at least a mild interest in sports of some kind and a preferred team that he roots for
  • Likes Paranormal Ice Road Truckers, but isn’t a fan of TV in general
  • Likes war documentaries
  • Doesn’t like small talk
  • Doesn’t like being called Rob (…or Bobert) - ‘buddy’ seems to be okay?
  • Likes to go camping (but hasn’t been after what happened last time)
  • Digs old movies from the 30′s and 40s
  • Takes the creation of movies VERY seriously
  • Likes Tom Waits and Santana
  • Likes to whittle and is pretty good at it
  • Smokes like a chimney (if all the ashtrays in his house are any indication.)
  • Enjoys the Criterion Collection

~ Food/Drink Canon ~

  • Likes whiskey… A LOT - especially shots
  • When it comes to alcohol, rarely takes ‘no’ for an answer
  • Likes white zinfandel because it’s delicious, fruity, and refreshing
  • LOVES pineapple on his pizza
  • Enjoys bar-hopping
  • Thinks Jim and Kim’s is the best bar in town
  • Occasionally hangs out at The Coffee Spoon

~ Sex/Romance Canon ~

  • Talks dirty…very dirty
  • Enjoys leaving hickeys…lots of them
  • Rough enough in bed to leave a person feeling sore and ‘creaky’ afterwards
  • Enjoys biting
  • When his lover says ‘no’ or ‘stop’ he takes it seriously
  • Recognizes that he’s an emotional wreck/emotionally unavailable…and is honest about it

~ Memorable Quotes ~ 

  • “The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything, but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
  • “Too many people think that they have to fill the dead air with noise.  Personally I think they’re afraid of the silence.  Or they’re afraid of what the other person is gonna think of the silence…learn to be comfortable with silence.”
  • “I respect your opinion.  And I will fight with my life for your right to say it.  But where’s your sense of adventure? Where’s your sense of taste?  Why won’t you love yourself?”
  • “The juciness of the pineapple paired with the tanginess of the sauce is a flavor combination that everyone should experience at least once, if not a thousand times more. Pineapple on pizza is one of the few things in life that I genuinely and thoroughly enjoy.  Please.  Please just do this for me.  No - do this for yourself.”
  • “That popcorn-ass drivel the mass media is shoving down your throat will only make you dumber and sadder.  You of all people should strive for a higher standard in the art you consume.”
  • “Are you kidding me? I would never hit a child.  That would be despicable.”
  • “This is my Thinking Bench.  I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding per day.  Filling quotas…A lot of people underestimate the senses of a man who broods.”
  • “I’m so many levels of irony deep that I’ve forgotten what humor is.”
  • “I was so busy chasing after all of these things that I thought would make me happy that I didn’t think about anyone else.  All I cared about was myself.”
  • “Maybe I’m just built like this.  Or maybe I do it to myself.  Maybe it’s my own choice I’m as unhappy as I am.”
  • “I’m working on my relationship with existence.”
  • “Long live the king, baby.”
  • “I spent my whole life only taking, and taking, and taking.  And now here I am, an old, broken man sitting on top of a pile of everything I’ve ever taken.  Alone.”
  • “I spent so much time chasing after things I thought were gonna make me happy that I ruined my only real chance at happiness.”
  • “You know, every day for me is a battle against my own self-destructive habits.”

10

Happy Birthday Roger Livesey (25th June 1906 - 4th February 1976)

He was one of the rare actors that really listens to you - Wendy Hiller

I had seen Roger Livesey at the Old Vic and had been very impressed by this broad-shouldered, golden haired Viking…I vowed to myself that one day I would make Roger’s husky voice beloved all over the world - Michael Powell

His acting ability of course was well known to the profession and public alike; what, perhaps, was not so generally known was his generosity and kindness to the smaller fry - Kenneth More

I’m quite ready to continue my screen work. I enjoy acting for films. It is a different technique from the stage of course; but it fascinates me - Roger Livesey, in 1938

9

get to know me meme

“My wife wanted us to go organic. Problem is, I kind of like eating shit.”

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