king of la

Is your (hockey) tumblr also being flooded by more bad news about the orange cheeto in the Oval Office? Are you also a disappointed hockey fan, pissed off with the NHL? Or worse - are you a Pens fan and cried yourself to sleep last night, because you hate that your own team did wrong?

Well, don’t despair, for I have a remedy post of fluff for you! Filled with soft boys, epic hockey bromances, Instagram chirping, puppies and the smile of Gabriel Landeskog. (Not that it solves anything to close your eyes to stuff that is wrong in the world, but a bitch can only take so much!)

Enjoy!

Hockey Phrase Definitions

  • Assist = I gotchu boo, have a goal
  • Blew a tire = ice much slippery
  • Boarding = wall for safe, not for face.
  • Breakaway = quick like a bunny
  • Chirping = much insult
  • Crashing the net = up close and personal, goalie edition
  • Delay of game = dumb
  • Dropping the gloves = gloves off, better for hugs
  • Empty net goal = participation award
  • Flow = to the fella over there with the hella good hair
  • Goaltender = marshmellow optimus prime
  • Holding = now is not the time for hug
  • Icing = belongs on cakes, not in sports
  • Jock strap = under the butt nut hut
  • Line brawl = much hugs
  • One timer = couldn’t do that again if I tried
  • Own goal = woo goal for the other team
  • Penalty box = pout place
  • Referee = not Denis Widemans friend 🐸🍵
  • Spearing = hockey players are not hot dogs
When you have your main teams you support but you also love specific players in the other teams and because you love them you kinda love their team too, so you're stuck loving all the teams like the hoe that you are