10 Tips For Feminists Before You Have Children... the fixed version
1. Be the kind of adult you want your child to look up to:
As Gandhi once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” This saying can apply to a lot of feminists. Many self identified feminists want women to be empowered, to go into competitive careers and to be equals to men. However, many of these women do not follow this motto themselves. Many believe they are entitled to government handouts, to quotas simply for being female, and don’t take responsibility, believing that any hardships they face are to be blamed on patriarchy.
Do you want your daughter to grow up an empowered woman? Do you want your son to respect and admire women? Then show them through action what an empowered woman looks like. A woman who is intelligent, kind, generous, helpful, useful to the society, who contributes to her family just as much as her husband (or wife) does, and doesn’t feel the need to fear or resent men but see them as colleagues.
2. Your child is an individual, not a political prop:
Do you remember the article about the woman who took her four-year-old daughter’s dolls, made tiny Women’s March signs for them, and took a picture as though the girl was playing Women’s March with her dolls? Imagine how this girl felt to see her mother feed her words like “Pussy”, “Donald Trump”, “Roe Vs Wade”, “Republican”, things that a four year old child wouldn’t understand.
Don’t do this to your children. A child should learn about the world around them without indoctrination and form their own opinions. And teach them things which are appropriate to their age. You should be teaching a four year old how to read, not about Donald Trump and politics.
In this polarized time, it is common also for children to have radical and extreme political beliefs, this, while normal, is not healthy when they grow up. Try to slowly move your child to moderate beliefs and teach them that nobody is purely good or evil.
3. Encourage your child’s interests and future plans
Not all children act the same. No two boys and girls are alike, and each will have different interests. Sometimes a girl or boy may want to like gender-conforming interests. This is okay. A child can be gender-nonconforming as well, this is also okay.
Sometimes a girl may want to get married and have children, this is fine. Sometimes a girl may want to be a career woman, this is fine too. Some girls want both. Some boys may want to go into the arts, some boys like science, this is okay. Sometimes you will see a girl who likes Power Rangers and fancy dresses, a boy who likes cooking and Call of Duty, this is also perfectly fine! If your child is gender-conforming, they aren’t brainwashed by patriarchy. If they’re gender non-conforming, there isn’t anything “wrong” with them and it doesn’t necessarily mean they will grow up to be gay or transgender.
A child’s interests shouldn’t be stigmatized or changed, encourage them.
4. Create the family structure that is best for your child
While the nucleus or joint family model is considered “traditional” and “best”, sometimes you may have to break traditional structures if these structures are harming your child. Is your child being abused? Does your child have to witness abuses done to you or others? If so, it’s probably time to either divorce or move. Having a traditional family isn’t worth putting your child in psychological distress.
5. Teach them healthy competition
There is a difference between being cutthroat and corrupt and competition. Encourage your child to do their best in whatever they do, to aim high and have big dreams. But do not encourage them to manipulate or cheat their way into winning. Make sure your child also understands that how you play the game is just as important as whether or not you win or lose.
6. Don’t neglect your child
This should go without saying, but a disturbing trend among feminists is to abandon their children for their own pursuits. As a mother, you have a responsibility. Yes you will have a job, yes you will have your own life to live, but you must leave some time for your child. A child needs their parents, and make it a point to keep some time for them no matter how small that time is.
7. Actions speak louder than words
Remember this feminists. If you want an empowered daughter, teach her to act empowered. Your daughter shouldn’t brag about how she is just as good in CoD as the boys, she should show it by actually beating them. She should show her prowess in STEM, show her physical strength. Teach her that if she wants to be empowered, she should let her character and actions speak, not any sort of ideology or her words.
And as for your son, teach him the same thing. A strong man shows his strength through his character and actions just as a strong woman does. And most importantly, a strong person respects people, men and women, and doesn’t put them down.