kinda old yeah

This goes for the new followers as well.
Why gay? What’s Chojete?

So, who is who…

They’re from @amnesiachara that’s a blog for @ask-the-asterisk‘s Chara (duh) ( Really cool blog, check it out, 100% will protect all the babies there, go follow)

And, this peep that y’all know already

“Whaatt?? Two Charas??? Whaaaa???!!”

Oh yeah, sweet Chacha.

So you’ve probably seen the word Chojete around. That’s just the ship name for these two dorks, that might seem cute but actually went through a lot of shit before. Starting with Choco’s reset //warning really old art// and other tiny arcs and events im too lazy to tag ( Still check out their body swap tho, it has major stuff for both sides, /Red’s  - /Choco’s )

And where did the name come from? Well. Red used to have a crack nickname long ago, Rojete, back when we started to ship them. Choco x Rojete = Chojete. //lmao

It all started with this harmless post and became stronger with rps and headcanons.

Tag is #chojete for both blogs, you can find all that gay shit there.

-Min OUT.

The digital version of archeology: I’ve been mindlessly transferring all my files from one computer to the next ever since the first time my family replaced a computer, and now I’m going through old deeply buried files on my laptop and I just found Harry Potter computer game (you know the one) save files last opened in 2004. That was second grade. I’m in my junior year of college.

When you cry so hard your stomach hurts, your face is aching and tears aren’t streaming down your face anymore because you’ve exhausted your eyes and they’re dry and you need water but you’re weak, you just want to sleep but your mouth is dry and you can’t breathe]  

You want to stop crying but it just hurts so much to have someone look at you with beautiful green eyes with a hazel center, rip out your heart with no mercy and hold it in front of you, to watch it stop beating. It hurts to watch them walk away and leave you where you lay without turning back.  
It hurts when they don’t say I love you back, it hurts when they don’t love you back anymore, it hurts when you don’t know what’s changed or why they don’t love you anymore, and you wonder if they ever loved you at all because if they loved you why would they leave, now you’ve been lying on the kitchen floor for hours and it’s dark now and you’re cold and you just don’t want to get up anymore you just want it to stop hurting and it doesn’t stop hurting for a few months.
You’re at school now, walking to maths and they walk past you, and they look straight into your soul with those beautiful green eyes with a hazel center and you can see what they are thinking and they don’t care, they don’t care that you’re still hurting and they don’t care that they are the reason you’re hurting and they know that one hug and three words from them would make the world melt away but you know that they don’t care, and they keep walking past, to english with mr. W that they always have when you have maths, but they don’t know you have maths, they probably don’t remember your birthday or your favourite song or favourite colour, they don’t remember your favourite number even though it is the same as theirs and that just makes everything hurt more because you can’t forget their phone number no matter how much you try and you can’t forget how they’re hair felt in your hands or how soft their lips are or how safe you feel when you sleep next to them and all you want is a hug and you know they don’t care and if they aren’t coming back you just want a goodbye, because they know you have problems with closure, they know you can’t sleep without saying goodnight they know you can’t move on without saying goodbye and they haven’t said goodbye and they know it hurts.  

[It hurts so much and you can’t stop crying.

—  ………….

y'all be so hateful towards baby lifters it’s astonishing, newbie questions get kinda old yeah and ditching tags in dressing rooms is definitely a bad move and should be advised against but how they gonna know if all u give em is “stfu newbie”? we’re all committing crime, be it stealing a $5 wet and wild or a $30 kat von d we all gotta start somewhere, goes to show there’s elitists for just about everything smfh 💁👋😒

I’m finding myself getting caught up in being a “perfect” mom. I downloaded an app when pregnant which puts you in a birth board with other people due the same month you are. Mine has 27,000+ moms who gave birth at the same time as me and our babies are all going through the same things. I love it! I get to read what everybody is experiencing and know what’s coming my way or what’s totally normal, etc. They can also sympathize with the lack of sleep, not having time to do anything despite being home all day, whatever.

Anyway, these people discover an item their baby likes and they share it with everyone. And everyone ends up buying it and adding onto the post and soon enough, I start thinking I need that for Melody. Originally I wanted to take a minimalist approach to toys and let her use her imagination and find things to entertain her. Then I had her and while I still don’t want to spoil her, geez everything changes when it’s your own kid!! I want to give her anything and everything that she could possibly ever enjoy! Truth is, she couldn’t care less and would love to play with my silicone whisk as much as she would one of the $20 baby toys. I would be embarrassed to show you my amazon order history since February… it’s pretty crazy and the fed-ex guy is here like daily. She doesn’t need ¾ of what I’ve purchased.

Now they’re all starting to say things like, “we made colored sand for sensory play”. Uhhh, what? Melody is 3 months old… she pretty much sucks on her hands, babbles and smiles, and bats at toys. Like, that’s it. Sensory play? And they have this whole bedtime routine to encourage good sleep which involves a nightly bath, lotions or essential oil massage, reading in a dimly lit room, then finally bed. I play when she’s awake, nurse her to sleep, put her to bed. I’m starting to feel inadequate. She sleeps FINE for a 3 month old. Typically wakes up once at night to eat then goes back to bed. Yet here I am, checking out multiple books on no-cry sleep training methods. She doesn’t cry 90% of the time now.. what am I hoping to accomplish? To make her sleep 12hrs straight by 4 months old? Yeah, kinda. Because 18 of the moms on my board talk about how theirs do and the other 26,000 don’t bring up how theirs don’t.

But I feel like I’m not giving her the best start at things if I don’t do all this crazy stuff to encourage her development. And that’s just it.. it’s crazy. Melody is loved more than anyone could hope for and I give her my attention and encouragement all day long. In 3 years she isn’t going to remember our “sensory” play, she’s going to remember those extra 15min we always cuddle in the morning. Ok, she isn’t going to remember anything because she’s just a baby, but you get my drift. I think this birth board is bad for me. It’s changing the way I choose to parent and making me more concerned about her hitting certain milestones and getting the latest/greatest learning toys. I recognize this, but I really like being on there :/ Those moms are the only people who can currently relate to me! And not everything is bad, I really enjoy a lot of it and I’m disappointed in myself for being pulled into the keeping-up-with-the-Jones mentality which I’ve never been a part of.

I also find myself projecting onto Melody. Specifically with noise. I hate noise. I like things quiet, not busy background noise. If you’ve followed me for a while then you know I hardly ever listen to music, even in the car I prefer silence. And I’ve read all these studies on how background noise is bad for baby development because they can’t focus on multiple things at once so they won’t distinguish your voice and learn language as easily. Therefore anytime the guy turns on the TV when she’s awake, I get annoyed. I get annoyed with music on too unless we’re in the car or Melody is playing solo on her activity mat. I feel like it bothers her, but it doesn’t. It bothers me. But she’s so super mellow and laid back that I feel like she gets over-stimulated easily. But she doesn’t, again, I’m projecting. I keep saying how I think she’s going to be a ‘watcher’ type of introvert where she observes before joining in because I can see how closely she watches things now. But she’s just a baby! All babies watch things!! Just because she’s mellow doesn’t mean she’ll be an introvert like me and I don’t want to project anything onto her, I want her to be exactly who she is!

On a positive note, I figured since I have such bad anxiety that I would be a hot mess when it comes to checking her breathing, random weird rashes or runny noses or any symptom out of the ordinary.. mainly SIDS though. And I’m not! I don’t have much anxiety about her at all which is wonderful.

This has been a long ranty post in which I solved nothing, but there we are. Momming is hard.

  • child: d-d-d
  • dad: omg is it's first word is going to be daddy
  • child: don't knock it til' u try it