what do you think of women who harbor attraction to men but know that they don't plan on acting on it? or who can't for various reasons? i hate the term "political lesbianism" for something like this because it implies being a lesbian is always a political agenda and that women would only have political reasons for not wanting to pursue relationships with men despite being attracted to them. like there are personal reasons for that too. are these women still lesser/not as gay/should be avoided?
You’re being completely, and I suspect intentionally, hyperbolic when you say “lesser” and “to be avoided” and even in your use of the word “harbor” here. I don’t think attraction to men is a bad thing. A thing I don’t get, a thing that’s not for me, but it’s just a thing. Being attracted to men isn’t something a woman should have to feel ashamed of. Not shaming people for their sexualities is yknow, kind of a big deal.
Any woman can call herself whatever she wants but women who experience attraction to men but don’t plan to act on it are still attracted to men. This definitionally means I’m not thinking of them as lesbians. There’s nothing wrong with being bi at all. It’s not shameful. But there’s no such thing as less gay and more gay. There’s just gay and not gay. For sure the experiences of bi women who exclusively date women and my own experiences are fairly close, especially inasmuch as dating for then necessarily means taking on the risk of some homophobic violence or micro aggressions and so on. But they’re not the -same- because we literally don’t experience attraction the same way. We don’t have the same sexuality, so why call them the same thing?