kind of shit but hey what are you gonna do

#DateMeBuckyBarnes (Part 14)

Summary: When Hollywood’s heartthrob Bucky Barnes breaks up with his girlfriend, you jokingly tag him in a selfie on Instagram to express your desire to date him. What you don’t expect is a response from the man himself [Modern AU].

Word Count: 1,006

‘#DateMeBuckyBarnes’ Masterlist

A/N: Um…

Originally posted by imaginingbucky

“Gorgeous, wake up,” Bucky lightly nudged your arm as you let out a whine in protest, pushing his hand off of you. Chuckling, Bucky gently shook your shoulder, his voice thrumming quietly within the silence. “Wake up, we’re here,” he told you again. “Let’s go.”

Keep reading

zodiac signs as shit dave strider says

Aries: my gaping furnace is hungry for coal so get goddamn shoveling 

Taurus: you just rigged the thing with an oedipal harness and rode its torso like a log flume ride down a magical rainbow 

Gemini: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick

Cancer: so lets all just sit back a while and shoot the shit and i do mean empty our clips into the shit, like really pump that turd full of lead

Leo: dudes be worshipping me left and right i cant hardly walk down the street without stepping over torsos of the prostrate 

Virgo: btw my name is Akwete Purrmusk hardest buttock in the jungle

Libra: this book is now like our fight fueled ouija board of cock

Scorpio: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack
then i die and youve got to make out with me

Sagittarius: im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got cant let her turn those against us

Capricorn: no fuck you im not caressing your dream hologram 

Aquarius: what is with girls and their universally constant tendency to rip out plumbing fixtures

Pisces: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively fluffy muppet buttock

sebbybarnes  asked:

Can I ask for 33 from first list and 2 from second with Wade Wilson, pretty please? Thank you and have a great day :)

33. after the first date
2. “I had a lot of fun, surprisingly.”

Originally posted by my-daily-space

“I swear to God, Wade, if you don’t keep up, I’m leaving your ass behind!”

You laughed breathlessly into the cold city air, the wind whipping into your face as you ran down the sidewalk. At nearly three in the morning, the streets were all but deserted. 

Shit–ow! Slow down, I’m missing half of my goddamn leg!” Wade’s voice came from farther behind than you expected, so you slowed down a bit, giving him a chance to catch up. 

“And who’s fault is that?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow at him when he reached your side. You took pity on him, reducing your speed again from a jog down to a brisk walk. 

This,” he retorted, gesturing to his torn up left thigh, “is definitely your fault.” 

“Oh, really?” You rolled your eyes at him, pushing at his arm. “Tell me again whose idea it was to take me on a date and kill some baddies on the same night?”

“Totally yours. Worst first date ever, Y/N. How dare you. I’m a classy lady.” The two of you were silent for a beat as he tried to hold an indignant vibe, and then you broke into giggles, looping your arm through his and leaning into him. 

“Wade, you’re in a bright red suit carrying so many weapons that it’s literally not possible for you to be comfortable, and the gunshot in your leg is so bad that I can see daylight through it. Classy lady, my ass.” 

“You’re right, the gun holstered up my ass is probably a little excessive.” You snorted, glancing over at him. He pulled you to a stop underneath a streetlight, stepping in front of you so that you were facing each other. “So, I’m trying to determine whether or not you think this went well.” 

“I had a lot of fun, surprisingly.”

A lot of fun as in ‘this date was shitty as fuck and I’m just saying whatever will make the psycho happy so that I can get out of here and skip town,’ or a lot of fun as in ‘this wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen to me so maybe I won’t have to change my identity?’” For the first time since you’d met him, you could hear a real question behind the sarcasm. You smiled at him, flicking his masked nose playfully. 

“I mean, a lot of fun as in ‘your psycho ass should ask me out on a second date,’ you dork. And quickly, because it’s fucking cold out here.”

“Oh, shit. Hey, how about a second date right now? At my place? Clothes optional.” You could see his grin through his mask, and you slapped at his chest, turning on your heel and walking away from him. 

“What kind of girl do you take me for, Mr. Wilson?” You called back over your shoulder. 

“The kind that’s gonna come home with me tonight, I hope,” he yelled back. You didn’t hear footsteps, so you turned around, continuing to walk backwards as you beckoned him towards you. 

“Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Take me home.”

Em’s Birthday Drabbles!

Poly Boys Heacanons #1

Because their parents are kind of shit, Jake, Rich and Michael essentially live at Jeremy’s place. Also Jake doesn’t really have a house anymore.

-Jeremy’s dad is super chill with everything, and catches onto their relationship in two seconds. Jeremy’s like “wHAT? nO they’re jUsT friends!!!” Rich leans over, gives him a kiss on the cheek and says “Hey babe, I’m gonna run out for gum do you want anything?”

-Rich acts really nervous and asks for permission to do almost anything at first, ranging from opening the fridge to stepping into a certain room. Mr. Heere is really confused at first but he’s like “Sure? You can go into the bathroom? Jeremy, is your boyfriend okay?”

-When they first show up, Rich and Jake are really weirded out by Jeremy’s dad but Michael just drops all of his stuff on the floor and asks if they have any brownies right now.

-If someone gets sick there’s movie nights and blanket cuddle piles

-It takes a while for Jake to get used to other people being in the house. Sometimes he forgets that there’s other people that will probably want to eat some of the food in the pantry.

-Rich actually cried when he learned that they had to throw out most of the bakery items Jeremy made because there was too much for them to eat.

Curses: An Informative 101 on What You May or May Not Already Know!

Hey! I was really bored and I haven’t done too much big stuff in a while.. So you know what I decided to do? That’s right. A little 101 post on one of my favorite kinds of spells; Curses.

It’s always fun to look at all sorts of different spells on my dash, but when a curse comes up? A little part of me just goes “ooooooh” and grabs the mental popcorn, cause you know shit is gonna go down, if it hasn’t already. They always put a smile on my face and make me feel badass, even if I’m not the one casting the curse… Cause you just know that someone is gonna use that curse… And someone else is gonna get some much due justice.

That being said, there’s a lot of stigma and misconceptions about curses that float around the community! You and I are here today to clean that up, and help all the witches who wanna reclaim what’s been taken from them, one of the best ways we know how. Magically.

Keep reading

Breakfast Club Roleplay Memes
  • We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.
  • I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
  • Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right?
  • I'm a compulsive liar.
  • What about you dad?
  • The next screw that falls out will be you.
  • When you grow up, your heart dies.
  • Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
  • If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy.
  • Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
  • Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.
  • Don't you ever, ever compare yourself to me, okay. You got everything, and I got shit.
  • You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old ______ family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up _____."
  • My God, are we gonna be like our parents?
  • You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem.
  • That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.
  • I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.
  • You're kind of sexy when you're angry.
  • I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It's like they use me just to get back at each other.
  • You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you.
  • He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.
  • I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.
  • Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.
  • The next time I have to come in here I'm crackin' skulls.
  • You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people.
  • I'm not a winner because I want to be one. I'm a winner because I've got strength and speed... kinda like a racehorse. It's about how involved I am in what's happening to me.
  • Why is that door closed? WHY IS THAT DOOR CLOSED?
  • When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon.
  • You keep eating your hand; you're not gonna be hungry for lunch.
  • Jesus Christ Almighty! What in God' s name is going on in here? What was that ruckus?
  • You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.
  • We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong.
  • It's all because of me and my old man. God, I fucking hate him. He's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore.
  • Does that answer your question?

anonymous asked:

lollllll steve and bucky being ~that couple~ in the club that look like they're about to start fucking on the dancefloor, that is hilarious and perfect, like guys have some decency that's what the booths are for ;-) there are probably NDAs at the door of at every club they go to lmao

a few days ago i wrote up half of a fic from an ao3 comment on THAT TIME STEVE AND BUCKY GOT MARRIED about their retroactive bachelor party, which suits this :D

Stark sits down across them at the table, snacking on chex. “So,” he says. Steve doesn’t look up, but he knows Bucky and knows Bucky’s glance has darted up and back down again, because when it comes to Stark, Bucky always takes the bait. “How’s life?”

“Fine,” says Steve suspiciously.

“Aunt Peggy had something to say to me the other night.”

Please do not call her that,” says Steve, pained.

Aunt Peggy,” Stark says loudly, “Told me that —“

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, the old bastards got hitched,” Bucky says. “You better have gotten us a wedding gift. Steve broke the toaster.”

You broke the toaster.”

“I didn’t break the toaster!”

“You can’t fucking jam your left hand into the toaster while it’s on and not expect it to — what?“ Steve asks.

Stark’s mouth is hanging open. “What?” he parrots.

“What?” Bucky replies.

“Oh no,” Steve realizes, and at the same time Bucky’s eyes go huge and he says, “Motherfucker.”

“Carter called to tell me that Brad wants to direct a movie about your lives,” says Stark blankly. A grin begins to spread across his face.

“Well, shit, Barnes,” Steve says, looking at him.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know he didn’t know!”

“Uh,” says Steve, “Maybe because Peg would never tell anyone?”

“And you didn’t invite me,” Stark sighs, pulling a heartbroken face.

“To be fair,” Steve says apologetically, “We didn’t invite anyone.”

“Because you got fucking stabbed in the gut, excuse me for not giving you the full romantic experience —“

“Never said I didn’t like it,” Steve says, and Bucky grins at him.

“This is gross,” says Stark, delighted. “Have you had the bachelor party yet? I mean, retroactive bachelor party. Trust me, those are the best kind.”

No,” Steve says, pointing at him.

“No,”  Stark agrees, tapping at his phone distractedly. He waves a hand. “No, you’re totally right. This is your business, not mine.”

Steve squints at him. Stark holds up his phone. “Except I already texted the strippers.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Prompt: where frank is in one of his moods and hits Ian as Mickey is walking in the door, and Mickey sees it and Mickey gets all protective of Ian and goes all Milkovich on frank. Gallavich fluff at the end if u can. THANKS

He stumbled in like he always did, trying to find a bed to sleep in. Fucking Frank. Fiona rolled her eyes at him and kept on tending to Liam, Lip ignored him completely, watching TV with Carl and Debbie, and Ian was leaning against the table, shaking his head as Frank started one of his rants.

He walked over to the fridge, searching through it for some food.

“Would you get out of there Frank, we barely got enough for us as it is,” Fiona grumbled.

“Since when did the patriarch of this family stop getting rights to his own god-damn refrigerator?!” Frank slurred.

He pulled out a plate with a cake covered in blue butter icing and sprinkles and Ian started walking over to him.

“Put that back Frank, Debbie made that for Liam’s birthday,” he said, trying to take it off him.

He muttered a few things, pulling it back and shoving Ian in the chest.

“Hey, stop it Frank!” Fiona snapped.

“This is my house!” Frank said, trying to pick at the cake’s edge.

“Well it’s not your cake…” Ian said, trying again to take it off him and while Frank waved him away and stumbled back, the cake flinging back into his chest and sliding down onto the floor.

“Jesus Frank!” Fiona yelled.

Frank licked his finger and shrugged. “Tasted like shit anyway,” he said.

“You’re a fucking asshole!” Ian yelled.

Lip, Carl and Debbie were standing in the archway from the living room, Debbie was clearly upset about her cake and Lip had his arm around her. It was at that point that Mickey walked through the door.

“Don’t you talk to me like that I’m- I’m your father!” Frank said, lunging at Ian and balling up his shirt in his fist.

His clumsy footing had them both falling into the kitchen cabinet right as Frank had his other fist aiming for Ian’s chin.

“Fuck!” Fiona yelled, putting Liam back in his high chair.

Mickey stripped his jacket off and threw it down onto the table before taking long strides into the kitchen. He grabbed Frank by the arm and wrenched him back, slamming him into the fridge and putting a hand to his throat.

Fiona’s hands clapped to her mouth and Lip had hold of Carl’s shirt in one hand and the other around Debbie’s shoulders.

“Let go of me, this is my house!” Frank garbled.

“Here’s what you’re gonna do,” Mickey said. “You’re gonna get your ass up and out of this house, I don’t give a fuck where it goes but it ain’t stayin’ here.”

“You can’t-”

“That was me askin’ nicely,” Mickey said, his grip tightening on Frank’s throat for a few seconds. “I only do that once.”

Frank turned up his nose in a makeshift snarl but said nothing, huffing out a loud sigh and trying to push Mickey back.

“You lay a fuckin’ hand on him again and you’re gonna lose the fuckin’ thing, you hear me?” He said, dragging him through the kitchen and to the door.

Fiona rushed to get it open and Mickey shoved him out, watching as he stumbled on the porch.

“Get the fuck out of here,” he said, grabbing the door and slamming it shut before walking back over to Ian.

He was sitting against the kitchen cabinets, a little blood trickling from his nose. Mickey knelt down beside him.

“You okay?” he asked.

“You don’t have to save me you know, I can handle Frank,” he said, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Mickey rolled his eyes, leaning up onto the bench to grab some paper towel, holding it against Ian’s face.

“I know, I just ain’t gonna sit around and watch while he takes a fuckin’ swing at you,” Mickey said.

“Thanks,” Ian said. “Sorry about your cake Debs.”

She shrugged, “Thanks for trying to stop him.”

Mickey helped Ian up and Ian flinched, clutching at his shoulder.

“You alright?” Mickey asked.

“Yeah, think I slammed my shoulder into the bench is all,” he said.

Mickey looked up at Fiona, “You got an ice-pack or something?”

She nodded, “Peas are in the freezer.”

Mickey gave her a nod and grabbed them out, leading Ian upstairs.

When they got to Ian’s bedroom Mickey closed the door behind them. “Shirt off,” he said.

Ian sighed but did it anyway, sitting on the bed and watching as Mickey sat down behind him. He jumped a little as he put the frozen bag against his bare skin.

“That hurt?” Mickey asked.

“Nah, just cold,” Ian said. “Why’d you do that anyway?”

“Do what?” Mickey asked.

“Go all crazy-eyes on Frank.”

Mickey shrugged, “Because you would have been upset if I’da killed him.”

Ian laughed a little, “Why would you have killed him?”

“He took a swing at you man,” Mickey said. “You think I’m just gonna watch someone do that kind of shit to you?”

Ian smiled to himself. “Thanks Mick,” he said.

Mickey leaned over and kissed Ian on the back of the head, making Ian smile harder.

“Hey, anyone lays a finger on you, you tell me,” he said.

“My hero,” Ian grinned and Mickey flicked his ear from behind. “Ouch! What did you just say about anyone laying a finger on me?”

Mickey leaned in again, kissing his ear. “I ain’t anybody,” he said, kissing him again.


Originally posted by jungkookfortunekookies

requested by anon

Hi there can I request a sceanio where you and jk get in a agreement so he tighten all the jar in attempt to get you to talk ^_^^_^“

genre: fluff?

“___, you can’t keep giving me this silent treatment, eventually you’ll have to talk!”, Jungkook called from the kitchen as he tightened all the jars in the cupboards. You simply showed him your middle finger from your spot on the dining table, you were focused on your phone, so you didn’t even notice what he was doing.

“Babe, seriously, why are you even giving me this kind of treatment.”, Jungkook pouted as he took a seat next to you. You looked up at him for a split second and went back to staring at your phone. “Hey, was it that bad? You know I don’t mean shit when I’m drunk, besides it was just the two of us last night.” You got up from your seat to grab a cup of hot chocolate and muttered to yourself, “You said I wasn’t your girlfriend and that you were gonna run away with IU and then you tried to fight me like for real. Stupid muscle pig tryna beat up his girlfriend.”

“Am I hearing, right? You can talk?”, Jungkook sarcastically remarked as he got up to move into the living room to play Overwatch. As soon as you made your hot chocolate you walked over to join your boyfriend in your living room, “Oh, so you’re not gonna talk to me but you’ll follow me around?” You rolled your eyes at him as you placed your cup on the coffee table. “No hot chocolate for me?” You began to ignore all of his little comments, you knew you were being super childish but you wanted to get back at him for almost beating you up.


Time passed and it was finally dinner time, you walked into the kitchen and took out all of the ingredients you needed. You were going to make Jungkook’s favourite homemade burgers, you were preparing all the ingredients and placing them on plates so the both of you could make your own burgers but when you reached for the pickle jar, you couldn’t open it, it was sealed shut.

You didn’t want to give in to the silent treatment but you really wanted the jar open. You walked up to Jungkook who was just lying on the sofa playing on his phone at this point and poked his face. He sat up and looked at you with a confused look on his face, remembering he had tightened the jars to make you speak. “What?”, he asked you as he took the jar from your hands. You signed for him to open it but he shook his head and laughed. “No, you gotta say it babe.” This time you shook your head and took the jar, attempting to open it again.

“Seriously all you gotta do is ask.”, he laughed as he watched you struggle. “Fine, you win, open the damn jar.”, you said, giving in to his trick. “You fucking tightened it, didn’t you?” “You know me so well.”

Jurassic World {Sentence Starters}
  • "What do you think? Want to take one home?"
  • "I can't wait to tell my mom about this!"
  • "A promise tomorrow is worth a lot less than trying today."
  • "This might be our only chance!"
  • "Someone has to stay behind."
  • "Don't turn your back to the cage."
  • "You're the new guy, right?"
  • "You created a monster!"
  • "What happened to the sibling?"
  • "You ever wonder why there was a job opening?"
  • "Probably not a good idea."
  • "Uh, I have a boyfriend."
  • "Think this will scare the kids?"
  • "The key to a happy life is to accept you are never actually in control."
  • "How would it know to do that?"
  • "Can we stay with you?"
  • "We're talking about an animal here."
  • "Don't worry. It's gonna be just like taking a walk in the woods."
  • "What kind of diet doesn't allow tequila?"
  • "Hey, don't give me that shit."
  • "You'll last two minutes in there. Less in those ridiculous shoes."
  • "She's killing for sport."
  • "This will give the parents nightmares."
  • "Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat."
  • "Why did you have to make it personal?"
  • "It tried to break the glass!"
  • "You can't ever tell your mother about this!"
  • "I am never leaving you again!"
  • "And please, clean your workplace. It's chaotic."
  • "We have the best structural engineers in the world."
  • "We are safe in here right?"
(Nerf) war games

missydeedeetee asked for the prompt “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.” with Ransom/Holster. It, uh, kinda got away from me? My bad dude

It was a credit to Holster’s exhaustion or Ransom’s stealth skills or possibly both that Holster didn’t notice Ransom was beside him until his hand was on Holster’s shoulder, startling him out of his sleepy state.

“Hey,” he said, clapping Ransom first in a handshake and then in a hug.

Ransom’s arms felt strong and warm around him, and Holster allowed himself to fall into them, if only for a moment, appreciating the aching familiarity of him- the sharp, unmistakable scent of the cologne he liked; his fingers pressed firmly against Holster’s back; the scrape of his stubbled jaw against the side of Holster’s neck where he’d missed a spot shaving.

It was almost too much. He’d spent two long days patrolling the warzone, fortifying barriers, relaying messages between troops. What he and Ransom had didn’t seem to have a place in all that, not in the fullest sense of it, at least.

But Holster was determined to give it a place, even if he had to fight for it, even if all that fighting would win them nothing but a hug at the end of the day. This war had taken so much, from all of them. He wasn’t going to let it take Ransom from him, too.

After all, they’d have time for everything else after the war was over, and their lives their own again, as Ransom liked to remind him. They’d have all the time in the world.

“Status report?” Holster asked, once he’d pulled away. If his voice was a bit gruffer than usual, neither of them mentioned it.

“D'ya want the good news or bad news first?” Ransom said.

He settled down beside Holster, elbows resting on his knees, the two of them separated only by Holster’s gun leaned against the barrier they were taking cover behind.


“Dex wasted about thirty bullets in the past hour alone,” Ransom began.

“Thirty?” Holster interjected, dread pooling in his stomach. Ammunition had been running low, even before that, and he didn’t want to think about the desperate measures they’d be forced to take if the situation got much worse.

“Yeah, and all of them on Nursey. There was a discrepancy over whether a nut shot could be fatal, given time and no treatment, and then-” Ransom flicked his fingers, imitating a shootout.

Holster rubbed a hand over his face tiredly, and Ransom chuckled.

“Right? The good news is, Nursey wasted the same amount of bullets on Dex, if not more, and the enemy has lost their medic.”

“Huh,” Holster said. “Is that all?”

Ransom shook his head. His face had gone tight, eyes shadowed with betrayal and perhaps a touch of annoyance.

“They convinced Bitty to bake for them again.”

The words cut deep, and true, stinging Holster all the way to his core.

“No,” he said, almost desperately. “No, he wouldn’t. Not after the way they ambushed him through the window of Jack’s room. He even said no to Chowder’s puppy eyes! Why would he-?”

Ransom put a hand on Holster’s shoulder, not unsympathetically.  

“Holster, I saw it with my own eyes. They had ASSistance,” he muttered darkly.


“ASSistance,” Ransom repeated. “They honeypotted him. Sent Jack over in the tightest shorts and shirt combo you’ve ever seen our dear captain in, and dripping wet, no less. Poor Bitty didn’t stand a chance.”

“Does the bro code mean nothing anymore?” Holster cried. “Those dirty, rotten, cheating-”

“It’s called using your resources!” Lardo shouted.

It took them both a few moments to realize they hadn’t seem Lardo enter the room.

It was a few moments too long.

Lardo sprung up from out of Holster’s laundry basket, shedding clothes on the floor like water, and took aim all before they had the chance to do anything but scramble to their knees.

Luck favored them; Lardo’s excitement caused her shots to go wide, sailing past them and into the wall.

The luck didn’t last. As Lardo frantically reloaded, Holster reached for his gun and discovered that either he or Ransom had accidentally sent both of them skidding away when they’d half-risen to their feet.

He turned to Ransom. Ransom, who was still frozen with shock, eyes wide, hands hanging limply at his sides. A perfect target.

Lardo raised her gun again, a fierce determination written across her face. She would not miss again, Holster knew, as surely as he knew that he could save Ransom or himself, but not the both of them.

There was no hesitation on his part. No thought either, really; nothing but an overwhelming, indescribable feeling that flared in his chest and compelled him to act- but he couldn’t regret it, not then nor later.

It was over almost before it had even started. Holster shoved Ransom to the side, sending him sprawling to safety just as the five bullets that had been meant for him all hit home, directly into Holster’s chest.

Holster stumbled back, clutching at his chest with a soundless gasp. He went down hard onto his knees, crushing some of the orange, cylindrical bullets beneath him.

“No!” Ransom yelled.

Holster could only watch as Ransom lunged towards his gun, fumbling for it, too urgent to be of any real use, his hands skittering everywhere in a panic. He finally, blessedly grabbed it, lifting it just as Lardo finished reloading yet again.

Shouting wordlessly, he emptied the entire magazine right into the her stomach. She grunted and folded in on herself, tumbling back down into Holster’s hamper.

Ransom tossed the gun away carelessly and scrambled to Holster where he lay on his side, smiling faintly at Ransom, his glasses knocked askew.

Ransom didn’t even bother looking at Holster’s torso, Holster noticed. He knew with a certainty that stung what that meant- that his wound was not a survivable one.

He pulled Holster up into his lap, cradling Holster’s head in the crook of his elbow. It wasn’t comfortable, exactly, but then, neither was death.

“You can’t leave me. You can’t,” Ransom said, voice rough as sandpaper.

“Is that an order?” Holster asked. He laughed at his own joke, but it turned quickly into a coughing so intense that even Ransom winced.

“Sorry,” Holster whispered hoarsely, after a moment. “Choked on my own spit.”

“Holster,” Ransom said “What am I gonna do without you? We’re supposed to go to Yogurtland later, remember? You’re going to mix all kind of random shit together, and I’m going to gag, and then you’re going to try to get me to eat it. You can’t leave.”

“Hey, hey. I’m with you, okay? Always. I promise.”

“Don’t. Don’t make me a promise you can’t keep,” Ransom said, a wild edge creeping into his tone.

He took Holster’s hand and brought it to his chest, holding it there. Holster could feel his heartbeat. Racing, but reliable, as familiar as Holster’s own.

“I will. Just you watch. It’ll be me, Mandy, and Jenny watching over you, always having your back. Just do something for me, would you?”

“Anything,” Ransom swore, clutching Holster’s hand tighter.

Holster beckoned Ransom closer.

“Kick their asses,” he said.

He dropped his head, then his eyelids, and fell limp in Ransom’s arms.

“Okay, this? Was one of the grossest things I’ve ever done in my life,” Lardo said, interrupting their moment.

She wrinkled her nose and flicked a pair of Holster’s shorts onto the floor, adding to the clothes she’d already dropped there, and to the war-torn feel of the place.

“You just murdered the love of my life, and that’s all you have to say?” Ransom cried.

Holster’s eyes popped open then, and he added, “Okay, but honestly though- we’re still going to Yogurtland later, right?”

Where it all began ( a jack gilinsky fanfic )
  • Chapter 1
  • *Flashback*
  • Year 2010
  • Jacks POV ( 14 years old)
  • "Hey jack come on we're gonna be late for the first day!" My best friend jack yelled at me.
  • "Ugh I don't care I wanna sleeep!"
  • I groaned
  • "Move your ass out of bed before I kick your ass outta there!"
  • Jack left my room while I got up and stretched. I grabbed some jeans, a tee shirt and threw on some vans while styling my hair quickly. I walked down stairs to see my mom cooking breakfast
  • "Good morning jack"
  • "Hi mom"
  • " ready for your first day of Highschool?!" She squealed making my eyes grow wide
  • "Yup" I managed, still half asleep.
  • "We'll jack is just in the bathroom so when he's out I want you boys to eat then get your little bums to school."
  • "Alright mom jeez"
  • " no attitude jack"
  • We ate breakfast and headed out the door.
  • "What do think it'll be like?" I asked
  • "Probably just like middle school with older kids and hotter girls" jack wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed at his gesture
  • "Yeah I plan to get laid tonight" I joked. We both laughed as we headed through the doors.
  • "Well I have English first ill see you at lunch. Meet here I don't wanna seem like a loner" Johnson laughed
  • "Yup. Ill see you bro"
  • I asked the office for directions to the science room, which was right in front of me. I was so embarrassed as the older kids laughed at me.
  • I took a seat in the back of the class. The teacher came in and introduced himself as Mr.Clemson
  • About 5 minutes into the class this beautiful girl came in
  • " sorry I'm late "
  • "Name?"
  • "YN"
  • "We'll YN you can take a seat in the back" he said pointing to me
  • " well class this is your new seat for the whole semester I hope you like it cause your not moving"
  • "Hey, uh, what's your name?" She asked.
  • "Jack. YN right?"
  • "Yup" she said popping the 'p'
  • "Nice name" I complimented.
  • "Thanks" she smiled and looked down, her cheeks getting a rosy tint.
  • The class ended and I got to know her real well. She's a tomboy which I kinda like too
  • {lunch time}
  • "Yo jack!" I shouted
  • "Hey what up man"
  • "Ok so in science there's like this really cute girl and I think I have a crush on her" I admitted
  • "Awe does jacky have a crush" he said in a baby voice
  • "Shut up" I shoved him slightly while looking down smiling. I think I do have a crush on her......
  • YN POV
  • "Hey YN!" My best friend Chelsea called
  • "Hey! What's up" I asked
  • "I over heard someone say they had a little crush on you" she smirked at me while wiggling her brows
  • "Ha good joke chels." I laughed at her comment
  • " no really. He said he was talking with you all science. So you know this boy" she said, her smirk growing wider
  • "Jack" I muttered under my breath
  • "Ooh so you do you like him?"
  • "Kind of...." I looked down feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. When I looked back up I found Chelsea had ran off. Shit she's gonna tell jack..
  • I ran out looking for her. I finally found her after 5 minutes talking to jack
  • "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" I yelled and jumped on her back causing us both to fall down as people looked down at us and laughed.
  • "I just set y'all up. You gotta meet each other after school at Starbucks near the mall at 4. Y'all can thank me later. Now you two get to know each other!" She called as she walked off
  • "Uh sorry about her.... She's kind of weird" I said after some awkward silence.
  • "It's okay. Um you don't have to meet me at Starbucks later. Like you can I'd you want but if not you don't have to" he rambled on
  • "Jack ill meet you it's fine"
  • *Flashback over*
  • 3rd person POV
  • That was the start of a amazing relationship between YN and jack. They have been inseparable ever since. They started dating a few days after that Starbucks date. There still together 4 years later. Lets look at there story now......
  • YN POV
  • "Jack you have to be on in 5 minutes stop!" You squirmed as he tickled you backstage at digi tour.
  • " ugh I don't wanna I wanna stay here with you!"
  • "Don't let your fans down come on go givem a show!"
  • "Fiiinneeee!" He exaggerated
  • I watched hime as he ran on stage with jack, Sam and Nate as they did there thing. I'm so proud of all of them.
  • I'm just a little disappointed because jack hasn't mentioned my birthday at all today. The boys have and same with twitter but he hasn't. I just don't get it because he always remembers.
  • "Now guys I wanna bring my beautiful girlfriend on stage and sing happy birthday for her. And give her a birthday present. YN COME ON STAGE BEAUTIFUL!" I can't believe jack just did that. But I got this rush of energy and I just had to run up!
  • All the girls screamed at the sight of me. I'm glad they all like me. I barely get hate.
  • They all started singing to me while I took a snapchat video of it.
  • Everyone started screaming when they saw snapchat on my phone. I laughed and made a few more videos.
  • Soon talk dirty came on the speakers and I was confused. Then jack sat me on a chair while all the guys took off their shirts. They all danced around doing body rolls and hip thrusts. Meanwhile I couldn't keep my laughs in and I new the fans were loving this.
  • The song ended And unfortunately it was the end of the show.
  • We were saying hi to some fans back stage and just having a good time.
  • " hi YN!"
  • " hi sweetheart"
  • "Babe ill be right back I forgot something in the tour bus" jack came over quickly, and pecked my lips and ran off
  • " so-" I started but she cut me off
  • " listen bitch I don't fucking know who you think you are but you can take your fat ass and ugly face and get the hell out of jacks life, better yet all of the boys life, that would be greatly appreciated. No one likes you. Your a fucking selfish bitch and your just using jack. At least I would have more to offer." She referred to her huge tits that were hanging out of her crop top
  • Tears welled at the the edge of your eyes. No one has ever said anything like that to you before.
  • "That's right cry you fucking slut" he hissed. I walked away from her past the screaming girls, into the bathroom and started crying. I got a few texts from all the boys asking me what happened. I didn't reply though. Then I heard the bathroom door open
  • "YN?"

anonymous asked:

Them getting jealous? Thanks ;)



Luke would just see you talking to some guy and he’d get all nervous and not know what to do with himself. He’d probably walk over to you and subtly wrap an arm around you so hopefully the other guy would get the message and then he’d say something like “hey babe we need to get going” and eventually when you stopped talking and walk away with Luke, Luke would instantly question you about the guy because that’s just the kind of guy he is and you’d be all cute and shit because damn your boyfriend is jealous


Calum wouldn’t know what to do with himself, especially when he saw other guys around you. He’d see some guy harmlessly put his hand on your arm or something and you knew Calum was gonna lose his shit because hated when people touched you, and you just brushed the other guy off, hoping Calum wouldn’t blow up.You’d make some bullshit excuse to leave and you’d go back to Cal who would be there trying to calm down, but you knew.


idk I have this picture in my head that you and Michael wouldn’t even be like a proper couple, you’d just be “friends” who fuck. And you’d like be out at a club or something and some guy would come up to you and start talking to you and he’d buy you a drink and you wouldn’t even consider Michael bc he isn’t your boyfriend. But the like after 5 minutes Michael would drag you away and take you outside and when you asked him why he’d be like “you were with him way too long, now we’re leaving and you’re going to be punished like the slut you are ” I’M GLEAMING


Ashton wouldn’t even give a fuck about embarrassing you. Like you’d be talking to some guy you know and Ashton would see and walk up to you both and he’d be like “hey I’m Ashton her boyfriend” and you knew exactly where this was going. Ashton would practically interrogate the guy as to how he knew you and you and the guy would be so embarrassed and when you and Ashton left, he’d be all “I’m so much better than him” and you’d agree and kiss him and BAM he loves you so much

TVD 5x21: “Promised Land”- Random Thoughts Of The Week

Another week, and another episode of The Bullshit Diaries. The more time passes, the more I struggle to come up with some thoughts to share with you as I find myself fast-forwarding the episode to get me out of my misery sooner.
But I promised myself that I’d watch every remaining episode of the season, if only to tell myself that I managed to get through the worst season of TVD…up to now that is, because the worst is always yet to come on the Bullshit Diaries.
Back to business…

  • Ugh, too much Damon screentime in the first minutes of the episode. I’m sick of his bulging eyeballs already.
  • “I’ll have enough when you can no longer speak” Hey Markos, as long as you let Stefan go, you can have Elena, it’s totally fine by me.
  • Stefan and Elena were almost drained from their blood but their clothes are neat. Makes perfect sense in TVD land.
  • Enzo is becoming a joke. First he has a death wish, and now he realizes being dead sucks and he wants to be alive again. Why is he even there?
  • Ian & Kat have really great chemistry. It’s almost if Damon gets his snark back when he’s around Bonnie. If only Plec and Dries were ballsy enough to go down the Bamon route…. But nope.
  • We’re vampires, we’re a toxic species”. WHAT IS THIS SHIT THAT IS COMING OUT OF STEFAN’S MOUTH? IT’S UNBEARABLE AS IT IS COMPLETELY INCOHERENT WITH THE WAY STEFAN WAS WRITTEN DURING THE FIRST THREE SEASONS. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE STEFAN THAT SAID: “We choose our own path, our values and our actions, they define who we are" (yes it’s my favorite Stefan quote, I’ve got it memorized). WHAT ARE THE WRITERS DOING TO MY FAVORITE CHARACTER ON THIS SHITTY SHOW? Oh yeah, they’re just using him as nothing but a way to prop Dullena. AGAIN. I’m livid.
  • Liv and her brother are too useless to get to ‘kill’ Stefan and/or Elena.
  • And I’m supposed to care about this random Traveler…why?
  • Why don’t you do us all a favor and start dating Elena again?“ Even Matt is here to prop Dullena…This is getting beyond ridiculous.
  • Aren’t we all a little sick of Tyler“ I’m sick of YOU Damon, but unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want. I my case: Never with Julie Plec and Caroline Dries.
  • The Travelers want to restore balance and undo all kinds of magic. Safe to say they’re gonna fail, because then there would be now show. But hey, Plec and Dries think this shit is suspensful…
  • Bonnie told Caroline that there’s no spell that can bring her back…I can’t with this storyline.
  • Damon getting thrown around is the only highlight of the episode so far.
  • Mini flashback to Stefan being killed by his own dad…Remember how amazing the show was back then? Those were the good old days. We miss you Kevin Williamson!
  • Enough of this Dullena nonsense.
  • And of course Stefan had to witness it. If I were him, I’d rather be dead too.
  • Oh wait…Stefan is actually dead. Just as if we hadn’t called it weeks ago. 

And that’s it.

I feel like I should talk more about Stefan’s death, considering he’s my favorite character on this shitty show, but I don’t know what to say, really. He had one of the most pointless and random deaths in the history of the show. That’s how you say (even if temporary) goodbye to the FUCKING HERO OF YOUR FUCKING SHOW TVD WRITERS? Just screw you. Stefan deserved better…like dying for Elena, or for his jackass brother, but like this, at the hands of a random Traveler who I don’t give a fuck about? This is so cheap. But hey, we’re "the other fandom” so I guess that’s what we’re meant to get: bullshit.

Candice and Kat were the only ones bringing justice to Stefan’s death. Their performances were A+. But other than that? Stefan died in the penultimate episode of the season (lol)… Who knew when TVD started that his death would do nothing to me? It was predictable, pointless. And here I am, wishing it were definitive, so that I could put the show behind me. But nope, what is Stefan’s death gonna do to the story? IT IS GONNA BE USED AS A PROP FOR DAMON, TO MAKE HIM LOOK SELFLESS (my ass) BY SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR HIS BROTHER. (well guess what, too fucking late for that).

That’s what Stefan’s death is gonna be about. Not about Stefan, not about the reactions of the ones who still care about him, but about Julie’s precious Eyeballs McGee. I’m livid. AGAIN.

may12324  asked:

Your ugly Mary story is so beautiful and actually inspiring, thank you for sharing, I've always felt ugly, and I can blame society and the media for that, but it's hard when protagonists in books and stories are always beautiful or become beautiful to succeed, I love how you've switched this whole idea, that her 'ugliness' is a strength, not a weakness

i hear you!! i think we all feel ugly sometimes, because the media is garbage and the world sets out to make us feel ugly so that when they call us beautiful we feel grateful. but guess what, fuck those people. maybe we are ugly! my jaw is VERY square and my shoulders are broader than i’d like, and quite frankly i’ve always felt like my body was a little bit the wrong size—sometimes too small, sometimes too big—but like??? it’s my body, you know? nobody gets to talk shit about it but me. 

i try to think about it like this: if someone finds you unattractive, that’s their problem, not yours. your body is not their body. look, i have never seen you, i don’t know what you look like. maybe you’re the protagonist in that 1D song about being on a beach and singing at the camera in a circle, and maybe you’re ugly mary

but like, this blog honestly doesn’t care. do you try to be kind? do you care about people? do you love things? cool. we’re gonna get along great.


“Austinnnnnn!” I said. At the moment we were sitting on the couch waiting for Alan and Tino to bring over the pizza and movie. “Y/nnnnnn” Austin replied in the same tone of voice. “See Austin I have a problem. I am both hungry and bored. Very bored. Seeing as tho you’re playing on your phone and mine died I’m bored.” I wined. I walked over to his chair and sat on his lap poking his face. “Y/n I swear if you don’t stop I will bite you and it will hurt. Alan just texted me saying that they got the wrong pizza and they need to remake ours.” Austin said. “You’re kidding right?” I replied
“Not even slightly.” He said. “Ughhhhhhhhhhhh” I said jumping off of his lap going into his kitchen. I turned to see Austin staring at me. “Like my ass huh?” I said with a smirk. “It’s pretty nice.” He smoothly replied. I have to admit Austin was looking pretty sexy tonight. He hasn’t shaved today. Also I can’t resist a guy in sweat pants. “Austin do you want to play truth or dare?”
I asked with a grin. “Yes I would love too” he said. “Okay so truth or dare?” I asked him “Well… Hmmm. Dare” he replied sheepishly. “Oh Austin you really shouldn’t have done that” I said with a cheeky grin. “Austin I want you to go outside in just your underwear and say the you love me!” I said barely containing my laughter. God this is gonna be great. “That’s the best that you could come up with?” Austin said cockily. Right as Austin stripped and was about to go outside the ginger cat and Tino walked out in. “Woah what are you two doing??” Alan asked with a smirk. “Fucking!” Austin said putting his pants back on. I wish. “Okay, okay. Alan put the pizza in the middle, Tino put music on and Austin you sit there and try not to be an idiot, I’m gonna get the beers.” I said. “I’m not an idiot” Austin mumbled. “Okay whatever helps you sleep at night” I said.
~skips to awkward drunkness~
“So she was like into this weird ass shit” Alan said. “Y/n what would be your biggest kink?” Tino asked. “Hmmm. When guys are cocky. Defiantly.” I said. “Weird kink dude.” Alan said. Austin just kind of sat there thinking like his life depended on it. “Hey Austin whatcha thinkin bout?” I asked poking his cheeks. “If you keep doing that I’ll bite your finger.” He said. “Bite me” I said seductively. “I might need to.” He smirked. “Oooohoooo Austin’s getting cocky.!” I said in a teasing tone. “Well that’s what you like isn’t it?” He asked questionably. Yes. Yes I do. “I don’t know do I?” I asked. “I gotta ask you something y/n.” Austin asked. “Mhm!” I said giggling. “So I love you and have been wanting to kiss you the whole night.” Austin said to me. I leaned over and slammed his lips into mine. “Yeah Austin cocky suits you great.”