kimxs

anonymous asked:

Hi! I just want to say I find your writings absolutely amazing, and everything you write is so much fun to read! I don't know if you're taking requests (if you aren't just ignore this, I don't want to be a bother (: ) but could you make a Yoosung x MC where the MC is struggling with a bad depression but tries really hard to hide it to not be a burden? But Yoosung would eventually find out and comfort/help her? Your writing style for angst/fluff is just amazing and it always feels comforting hehe

Oh my goodness thank you so much I’m so honored you like my writing! I hope you continue to like them!

Also, requests are always open and you’re never a bother, I honestly love writing for my readers and this blog so much, so I’m more than happy to do your request!

Also I sincerely hope I accurately portrayed someone with depression, I don’t want to misinterpret it as I know many people are dealing with it, if you think something is wrong with the portrayal please let me know as soon as possible, though I hope that won’t be the case.

Once again, thank you so much, and I hope you like it! :)

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For the longest time, you had always felt as though your puzzle of emotions was just perhaps missing a piece.

You just always had a tinge of sadness.

It wasn’t always that much to worry over.

You were always able to smile, laugh, or joke, but there was a small ache.

Every time.

Just a bit of uneasiness would rustle in you.

Just a bit of discouragement would rattle in your brain.

“Don’t speak up.”

“You’re bothering them.”

“Don’t wake up.”

It was usually, easy enough to ignore.

Moreso, easy enough to hide from those around you.

Specifically, your husband, Yoosung.

You had no particular reason to be sad or dreary around him. He was cheery, bubbly, and made your heart swell with love. But, it wasn’t something you had control of.

It just sank in and settled like plaster along your body.

This time especially was rough.

You woke in the morning, light streaming in from the windows of your quaint home, your eyes barely fluttering open.

And you ached.

Every part of you throbbed.

But not in the way most people thought.

It was as though your limbs were tied down by cinder blocks, preventing you from moving, keeping you still, and quiet.

You didn’t stretch as you usually did.

Instead, you stared at your wall, almost in deep thought, but your mind completely blank.

You swore you were nearly sinking into the mattress before you felt a warmth spread onto your back.

Yoosung had rolled over to you, leaning over to gently kiss your temple.

“Good morning,” He hummed, already grinning softly. “did you sleep well?”

“I think so.” You muttered, a smooth voice slipping from the odd dryness in your throat. “Did you?”

“Oh yeah, I had a great dream!” He chuckled. “You wanna know why?”

You looked up towards him.

“Because you were in it.”

You felt your lips tug upwards, just a tad.

“You know you’re usually the early bird.” He remarked. “I’m surprised you weren’t already dressed and everything!”

“I guess I just felt like sleeping in today.”

He thought for a moment, before nodding. “We all need a day like that, don’t we?”

You hadn’t responded, simply watching as he scrambled to his feet. “Do you want to go out tonight for dinner when I come back? I just have a surgery but, going someplace fancy sounds nice doesn’t it?”

You didn’t hate the idea, but, you didn’t know quite how to describe it.

You could hardly lift up your upper body.

But you didn’t want to say no to him.

“Maybe another time?” You asked. “If that’s okay?”

You heard his steps rounding about your side of the bed, kneeling down in front of you. “Yeah sure, is everything okay? You’re feeling fine?”

You nodded, widening your grin. “Yes honey, I feel fine.”

You couldn’t worry him.

He already had enough on his shoulders, he didn’t need you too.

He nodded, giving your hand an affectionate squeeze. “Then, I’ll bring takeout on my way back! Does that sound good?”

“Yeah.”

He scrunched up his nose for just a second. “You know, maybe you should go back to sleep. You seem awfully tired.”

You need to be on your feet.

You heaved yourself upwards, sighing. “No, I’m fine honey. Honestly, I’m the early bird. I can’t be the early bird if I don’t even bother getting up.”

“The early bird can take the day off whenever she wants.”

Not in this way. It couldn’t be in this way.

But instead, you chuckled, brushing your feet gingerly against the wooden floor.

“Not this early bird.”

Everything around you then proceeded to speed up, as though fast forwarding while you were kept on pause.

Within seconds, Yoosung was gone…and the house was silent.

You felt as though you may meld into the wall, and just simply disappear.

But that didn’t seem like a bad thing.

Your thoughts were broken by the sound of your cat, Lisa mewing as she hopped onto the bed.

You watched her rub against you, purring brightly.

At no reaction whatsoever from you, she stared up, her eyes wider than saucers.

“Good morning.” You finally said, scratching her gently behind her ear.

Her fur perked happily, her purrs rumbling deep in her throat.

“You want some treats?” You asked, laughing weakly as she let out a sudden meow at the idea.

She already began making her way to the kitchen, constantly looking back to you adamantly until you followed her.

You gave her a small handful of treats, leaning over the island counter.

You weren’t hungry for some reason.

Typically you’d at least have coffee or some toast but seemed to have no desire.

There only seemed to be a dull aching at the moment, and the soft warmth as you felt Lisa press her body against you affectionately as she finished her treats.

Throughout the entire day, she remained by your side, always giving quiet mews, kneading her paws against you.

It wasn’t too much movement for either of you, as you’d both set yourself on the sofa.

But unlike Lisa you simply didn’t have the energy to move around.

It felt like an effort to even breathe at points.

But at the very least you had joined the fast-forwarding world finally, your eyes glued to the television screen despite your lack of attention to even what was being played.

It wasn’t until the front door opened that you snapped back into reality.

“I’m home~!” Yoosung cooed, a bit quiet as you didn’t come to embrace him with greetings as you usually did.

You wanted to.

But for some reason, you couldn’t pry yourself up.

“MC…?” He called out, concern hinting in his voice. “Where are you?”

“I’m over here.” You raised an awkward hand. “I’m sorry was napping.”

You lied through your teeth.

But you couldn’t just tell him you couldn’t get up.

He’d be worried.

You would just get in his way.

“Oh,” He joined you on the couch, furrowing his brow at your slowing movements as you sat up. “How was your day?”

“It was fun,” You said, Lisa purring as though agreeing. “I had Lisa with me, so…”

“Oh, I bet she was great company.” He grinned. “But is there any chance lunch would make it better?”

He revealed the bag, the smell of warm, fresh food wafting into your nose.

You didn’t feel hungry but your stomach apparently disagreed, rumbling loudly much to your dismay.

Yoosung frowned, folding his lips. “Woah, did you…not eat breakfast today? You shouldn’t ever skip your meals, you know how bad it is to do that.”

“I-It just slipped my mind I guess.”

“But you always remember.” He huffed. “You’ve been acting odd ever since first thing this morning. You’ve hardly moved at all, and seem so…sad.”

“Sad? Yoosung honestly, I’m fine.” Your gaze darted across the room, unable to lie directly to him.

“Look me in the eyes and say it.” He took your hand, rubbing a gentle thumb over your knuckles. “You shouldn’t feel the need to lie to me.”

Your heart broke at the very words.

“I-I um…”

You raised your eyes to him, instantly feeling tears prick at your eyes.

“I-I’m sorry.” You sputtered, beginning to furiously wipe at your eyes before he stopped you.

“Sorry for what?” He cocked his head to the side. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“T-That’s the thing. I-I don’t know. I don’t have a real reason to be acting this way. B-But I always a-am, i-it’s just never this bad.” Your face contorted to frustration, your shoulders tightening uncomfortably. “I-I don’t want to b-bother you though. Y-You shouldn’t have to worry a-about me.”

“You have done everything you possibly could to help me,” Yoosung pressed his forehead against yours, gently wiping away the tears that dribbled down your cheeks. “You’ve always made my happiness your first priority, so let me do the same.”

“But-”

He wound his arms around you, rocking you gently. 

“You deserve so much more happiness than you’re given. You deserve every bit of love you get and a thousand times more.” He sighed. “I wish I could just make you smile every bit of the day. And you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my greatest happiness.”