kim-and-kris

exo stuff that i’m never forgetting:

-ot12

-suho and kris being the eternal parents

-EXO showtime

-jongin’s laugh

-i got that good good

-suho as a rv member

-chogiwa

-their first music show win

-growl and the one take

-jongin’s hat falling 

-sehun + bubble tea

-ships

-’chicken is not my style’

-manly luhan

-actor soo

-chanyeol being scared of soo

-tao wearing sunglasses inside the dorm

-galaxy

-the really embarrassing/hilarious wolf teaser

-2013

-taekai

-ka-ching

-lay humping the floor but being stopped by his mom aka suho

-haunted house 

-’oh shit’ by Park Chanyeol

-chen’s vocal range

-xiumin’s high note

-EXO-K ‘history’ dance practice video

-shaking pants

-super powers

-11 minutes

-depressing christmas songs all the time

-lay owning SM after being the only chinese member left

-MAMA performances

-specifically the 2013 one

-concerts

-’my lady’ live performance

-sekai dancing on water

-’artificial love’ performance

-acoustic medley

-’open arms’ cover

-chanyeol’s rap on ‘lightsaber’ and ‘overdose’

-teasers featuring 75% by kai

-pathcode teasers

-baekhyun’s hands

-new abs all the time

-EXO-CBX

-lay’s solo debut album breaking guiness world records

-beagle line

-kim bros

-kai’s ‘deep breath’ solo stage

-EXO-K singing in spanish

-EXO next door

-heart attack VCR

-EXO as little chickens on ‘happy camp’

-chen whinning

-lipstick chateau

-blow it like a flute

-rich suho

-everyone just wants xiumin to talk

-vocals everywhere

-dancing af

-baekhyun’s high note in ‘el dorado’

-tree of life

-’unfair’ stages

-everyone teasing suho

-they’re really random

-chanyeol is the most multitalented person ever

-intro dubstep

-lay + butts

-promise

-english covers

-cringe moments

-EXO-M ‘two moons’ dream kpop fantasy concert performance

-tao + martial arts

-the video they imitate animals

-breaking every record ever

-E-X-O

-’when the skies and the grounds were one legends through there twelve forces nurtured the tree of life. an eye of red forces created the evil which covered the heart of tree of life and the heart slowly grew dry.
to intent an embrace for heart of tree of life, the legends hereby divide the tree in half and hide each side hence time is overturned and space turns askew.
the twelve forces divide into two and create two suns that look alike, into two worlds that seem alike. the legends travel apart. the legends shall now see the same sky but shall stand on different grounds, shall stand on the same ground but shall see different skies.the day the grounds begin a single fault before one sky in two worlds that seem alike, the legends will greet each other.t
he day the red forces purify and twelve forces reunite into one perfect root - a new world shall open up’

A/N: feel free to add more stuff, i was bored

Meanwhile...
*Somewhere in China*

-Yifan’s phone starts ringing-

Yifan: -picks it up with a confused expression-

Yifan: Oh, Junmyeon..?

*2ne1’s Come Back Home plays at the other end of the line*

Mobile Masterlist

Smut

Lay

“Dominate Me 101 (M)”

“Make It Up For Me (M)”

“Heartbreak Hotel” (M)

Chanyeol

“The Wrong One (M)”

“Fair Play” (M)

Sehun

“Try Me (M)”

“Business Class (M)”

Baekhyun

“Study and Chill (M)”

Fluff

Sehun

“Night Walk”

Series

Sehun - “Do Me Bad”, Pt2, Pt3, Pt4, Pt5, Pt6, Pt7, Pt8, Pt9, Pt10

Baekhyun and Kai - “Me or Him?”, Pt2

Baekhyun - Concept Teaser ,“We’re Not Friends”

Drabbles


Reactions

Fluffy/Funny

EXO’s reaction to meeting their ideal type at a fansign

EXO’s reaction to catching you smoking weed

EXO’s reaction to you drawing them

EXO getting drunk (reaction)

EXO’s reaction to catching you snooping on their phone

EXO’s reaction to you flirting your way out of a ticket

EXO’s reaction to finding out you’re in a rock band

EXO’s reaction to you failing at using Chopsticks

EXO’s reaction to you rapping

EXO’s reaction to you telling them you’re having twins

EXO’s reaction to you asking them to do aegyo and then kissing them

Dirty/(M) Rated

EXO’s reaction to getting a booty pic from you

EXO’s reaction to you seeing them naked for the first time

Last updated: 2016/09/16

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

EXO as people in a group chat.
  • Xiumin: Leaves everyone on read.
  • Luhan: Sends pictures of his cat.
  • Kris: Asks for fashion advice. Doesn't take it.
  • Suho: Sends EVERY lame joke he finds. No one is amused. Only reason he's still in the group is because he's group admin.
  • Lay: Never online. Always confused what the conversation is about.
  • Baekhyun: Recounts every stupid thing he's done. Ever.
  • Chen: Speaks entirely in memes. CAP LOCKS.
  • Chanyeol: Too many emojis.
  • D.O: Kind of just stalks the conversation. Only comes out from hiding when someone points out he's just reading.
  • Tao: Comes online occasionally to talk shit about someone.
  • Kai: Always complaining that he's hungry.
  • Sehun: Sends pictures of his dog.
EXO react when their kid hits them in the nuts

yeah this is weird but i’m weird af so it’s okie :)


Sehun:*screamed when his kid accidentally threw a ball at his balls but turned the scream into a high note so his kid laughed and didn’t feel bad that he caused immense damage to his dad’s genitalia*


Kai:*he’s so great with kids that when his son threw a toy at his crotch he hid the pain in his eyes, blinked the tears back and laughed along with his smiling child bc he a gr8 dad ok find a better one*


Tao:*silently wiped tears away after his daughter launched a water bottle at him, hitting him right in the nuts. He turned to you with the saddest look on his face you’d ever seen and said:*

“Y/N in the unlikely event my balls can still produce kids after this ordeal, and as much as I love this one, we are not having more”


D.O:*his kid was sitting on his lap and whilst trying to get comfy accidentally punched him in the crotch. He turned round, smiling through the pain, to see you laughing uncontrollably as you’d had full view of the whole thing*


Chanyeol:*you heard him yelling from three rooms away, and when you went in to see what the hell the problem was you saw Chan lying on the floor cry-laughing whilst your son was standing looking down at him in bewilderment, not aware he’d just kicked his dad right in the nuts*


Chen:*y’all were on a family trip out and it was bloody freezing, so Jongdae opened his coat for his daughter to snuggle into. Only she may have wacked him in the balls whilst doing so, but since you were in public he couldn’t make noise so he stood there with this face for like ten minutes trying to recover*


Baekhyun:*was being attacked by your two sons, one trapping him in a headlock the other trying to tickle him but accidentally elbowing him in the nuts instead. You watched the whole thing in amusement and pride that you were raising two kids that could defeat Byun Baekhyun*


Lay:*loves his daughter to death but even his patience was wearing thin with her when she’d decided it would be hilarious to try and punch her dad in the crotch. Once she succeeded he lifted her up, placed her on your lap and left the room to go recover*

“Papa’s leaving it’s mother-daughter bonding time now”


Suho:*your daughter was having a tantrum and was throwing toys and books around her room, whilst Junmyeon was trying to calm her sassy ass tf down. However he happened to be in range of the next book that came flying through the air, the edge just hitting him in the nuts and he winced in pain*

“I’m fine :)”


Kris:*despite the ungodly pain, he was quick to forgive his daughter when she hit him right in the nuts with a toy, since it was an accident and you admired how well-natured he is with her top dad no.2 here*


Luhan:*a total drama queen when his daughter punched him in the balls by accident, and he spent the day contemplating everything*

Y/N:“Lu you’ve been staring into space all da-”

L:“Shh a great mind is at work here”


Xiumin:*he’s so patient and good-natured that he barely reacted when your son elbowed him in the nuts whilst climbing all over his lap. He simply flinched and continued playing with him bc super dad 3.0 lol as you giggled at the whole thing*


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