kim kardashian mum

Mum: You never go out!

Me: Urm, I was out yesterday with Kim, but then freaking Willow Pape called me ratchet because she thought that I was flirting with her D-list boyfriend, Dirk Diamonds, What kind of a name is that?! So we had to sort it all out with Simon and he was trying to be all cool like saying Yolo but just no so I ended up having a shoot because Simon never stops calling.

Mum: ….Oh…. Who’s this Willow?

Me: Eurgh I don’t even know she just hates me Kim for no reason because she’s jel because her boyfriend flirts with everyone except for her and her hair is a birds next.

Mum: and who’s Kim? You’ve never spoken of her before?

Me: OMG MUM KIM KARDASHIAN JFC.

Mum: *Backs away* You need help….

When your jam comes on:

When you get an “A” on a test:

When you don’t fall off of Rainbow Road:

When your mom comes home with groceries:

When you make an awesome comeback:

When your in your mum’s car:

When you’re going to Kim K’s: