I’ve been avoiding writing this because I feel like its going to be long but whether anyone reads this or not hopefully someone will see this and will have a clear understanding of what they need to do to get or keep themselves motivated.
I’m not doing it for attention. Maybe I am, there’s a lot that goes through my mind when I think about all of the things that I want during and after my weight loss journey. Shallow reasons are natural to have but of course I do want to be healthy…. I’m doing it because I’m sick and tired of being uncomfortable. I’m sick and tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I’m seeing. I’m late everyday for everything because I cannot find an outfit that doesn’t make me look fat. I’ve been late constantly to work for the past few months because I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the house without changing my outfit 40 times. I cringe sometimes when I see how amazing some women look, especially when you can tell, for them, it’s effortless. The fact that there are females (mainly on IG) that do not have to try to look good because they always do…it does make me a little jealous. I want that effortless look. I want to take 3 minutes to get dressed. I want to feel comfortable in EVERYTHING I wear, I don’t want to spend time trying to cover up my body. I want to be able to wear tank tops, short sleeves, crop tops, shorts, skirts, dresses, strapless things, fitted tops, high wasted jeans, HEELS, have shoulder length hair and wear any kind of hairstyle. I want to be comfortable with my appearance, I want to take full body pictures. I hate taking pictures, so much, I hate when people try to take pictures of me. I don’t want to be scared to look into mirrors outside of my house. I don’t want to be afraid of going around guys and good looking females because I feel like they’re making fun of me. I want to be strong physically. I don’t want to be fucking “plus size”. I want to wear those clothes that have been sitting in my closet for MONTHS/ YEARS because I can’t fit them. I don’t want to be fat. I want to be able to walk into almost any store and purchase something I want, because I can actually wear it and not look like it’s suffocating me. In no way shape or form do I want to look like a bodybuilder. I want to be able to start running without being winded and go up stairs without burning legs or being out of breath. I want to take full body pictures. I want to stop comparing. I want to be someones inspiration. I want to be comfortable, strong, happy and STYLISH! I want to be a different person as far as attitude. No one wants to be miserable… The ultimate words I want to hear at the end of this journey of mines is “OMG YOU LOOK SO GOOD, YOU’VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!”. I want friends and family to be happy for me and proud of me. I want people to see that I’ve actually accomplished something. I want that genuine feeling of happiness and sense of accomplishment. I want to be everything I’ve always dreamt of being.